why hide lapband?

[honk 780]

My family knows, a couple close friends, and some women in the Water aerobics class at the gym. I am more than happy to explain the process to them. They know how hard I worked to lose about 100 pounds presurgery. I had surgery during a period where I worked from home so I did'nt need to explain the liquid diet. I now work at a client site. I don't feel a need to explain my meals. Most people would probably say I was eating a Atkinsesque diet; high Protein (usually chicken) but very low fat, and veggies. My doctor says 3 oz of protein and 1 cup veggies. That's not so little food that people look at me funny at the lunch table. I don't really feel a need to tell coworkers about a medical procedure. They do see that I don't snack, only have black coffee (no Dove hot chocolate for me. Crap), and know that I go to the gym everynight.

[mandy J. 1]

I'm not telling anyone except my husband and my two children. The reasons are simple. I don't want to hear the negative talk, and I've years ago I mentioned I would love to have a lapband and I remember all too well how everyone went on and on about the risk, or they know someone who did it and gained their wt back a year or two later and so on. People confuse the lapband with gastric bypass, and won't try to understand that it's not a huge surgery with a scar from one end to the other with drains etc. But with that being said my main reason for not telling anyone I work with is that I work with several overweight pple, and they would love to have a lapband but can't afford it and insurance won't cover it. After surgery I am going to need help at work ( I am a nurse) and I know they would not be as helpful if they knew I had an elective surgery versus a surgery I had to have. Of course I think the lapband is medically ness. but they will not, and I need their support and help until I heal from this! I can't afford to be off work 6 weeks!!

[AlienBandit 10]

I kept my band a secret because I live half way across the world from my home, family and friends. When I had laser eyes surgery 2 years ago some of my family were afraid I would go blink or something they are such worry warts.

Now that I am banded I still wouldn't tell them because I am doing plastics and that would worry them more. They are also very against things like that and would think i wasn't that big to get banded ( I left home skinny) and plastics isn't worth the risk of losing your life etc.

I know eventually I will tell them but not while I am still in Korea.

As for my friends in Korea, I kept my band a secret because there is a year turn over of friends because most people only stay here a year. Therefore you are friends just because you happen to be foreign and live in the same city etc. Some people you stay in contact with when they leave most dont.

I have also found that though Koreans are very accepting of plastics and weight loss surgery ( they are very open about weight ie if your too over weight they will tell you etc) foreingers are very judgemental of those things. Once on a date I chewed a guy out because he was going on about fat people and then went on to dis weight loss surgery and he didnt know I was banded. Another time I had to bite my tongue as a close friend ( not close anymore) dissed weight loss surgery as it was a waste of time and money and you gain it all back in a few years etc ( as if she would know or understand she has never been over 120 lbs in her entire life).

Slowly over time I have told some people some things ( friends who want to lose weight and are thinking of surgery, friends that I have supported in difficult times where they have confided in me etc) and everyone has been really positive, but I still prefer not many people know. It really isn't their business and I don't want them watching me and what I eat and commenting if I decide to eat something that isn't so good.

It's my life, my decision, and my business

[~*sarah*~ 0]

I'm very open with everyone that I'm having surgery, and have been met with great support. Of course, those who know me know the strugle i've had to lose weight. I just don't understand why people feel the need to hide that they've had surgery? I'd love for someone to come at me and say it's "the easy way" or "cheating". they'd get a real piece of my mind!

even those who i don't know well are receptive and not judgement about my surgery. Are there really that many people who give such hateful feedback?

Just curious...

Nikki

I was pretty quiet about it leading up to the actual surgery because I was a little superstitious that if I told everyone I was having it done, *something* would happen to prevent me from having the surgery done. My last day of work I told a few of my close co-workers and they were extremely supportive. Now, the only people close to me I haven't told are my father and my sister because they are both the type of people who will find something, ANYTHING negative to say about it. I did mention it on my Facebook page, so if they ever check my page they know, lol. Also, I didn't want to go around telling everyone because in the back of my mind I'm worried that I might fail. I'd rather people be surprised by my weight loss than be expecting a greater loss than I might have, if that makes sense

~*sarah*~

[Dave_NW 92]

I was pretty open with everyone after I had surgery. I didn't talk about it much before surgery, because I didn't want to be pre-judged. After I had the surgery, I took off work for three weeks, so it was natural that people would ask me what was up. And my Department Head said in a department meeting in front of everyone that I was going to be away "having bariatric surgery." Gee, thanks, Doug! No privacy left on that score.

Since I returned to work, and the weight started to fall off, everyone has been amazing. Nothing (to my face) but supportive comments. If anyone has had something negative to say, they haven't said it to me, and I haven't been made aware of anything. What I do get are amazed smiles and lots of congratulations for doing so well. And there has been a fair amount of good-natured jealousy from obese people who have witnessed my entire journey, but who have done nothing to change how they are. So I have had no problem telling people I had band surgery. If they are someone I think might benefit from surgery, I've offered to share details with anyone who is interested.

Lately, my attitude has begun to change. Not toward those who have walked the journey with me, but with new people I'm meeting, or people who have never known me when I was obese. I go about my business, I work out at the gym like always, and I socialize with people as a person first. The subject of me being overweight, or of having lost nearly 90 pounds so far, has not come up. And I'm not the one who does bring it up to new people, because it means having to go through a lot of explaining to the new person about how the "me" they know is a different "me" than I was last year. It's awkward, and I'm choosing not to volunteer my story to anyone unless I'm asked.

The odd period is when I meet two people, one of which who knows my obese history, and one who has no idea. I get the usual complimentary comments from the person who knows, and of course, a look of surprise from the person who has no idea. It's weird.

If I didn't work in such a large place (a hospital) where I see many people every day, I might have kept this to myself. My family knows, for the most part, but I don't see them often, so don't have to endure the constant questions. When I do see them, I get "Wow!" a lot. And that makes it worth it.

Dave

[vucarre 0]

I have told close friends and close family members mainly those who I have talked extensively about my weight issues through the years. And, those who have expressed interest in the band as well. There are several reasons I have not broadcast it: I dont want my surgery to become the topic of daily conversation. If I was still living in the states, I would probably be more open about it. But, having moved overseas and having new close friends and new friend's who are more of acquaintances, I just dont want to have to explain why I "needed" the surgery. Most people who see me or have known me for a few years do not know the lifelong struggle and I just dont want to hear, "you didn't need that, you weren't that big." What people who are not food addicts and compulsive eaters do not know is that this is a progressive disease and it only gets worse. Sure, I could have waiting until I gained another 50 pounds to do this to prove that yeah, I am fat enough for this surgery. I am 5'4" and was 209 on surgery day and I was physically miserable carrying that much weight. I needed this surgery. But, I am ready to move on, I dont want to have to constantly answer questions about my weight. If someone asks me specifically about what I did. I will not lie, I will tell them if they are really interested in what I did to lose the weight, we can meet and I can explain over coffee. I just dont want my weight to be the topic of conversation at every function. I have a few friends here who are struggling with their weight and want to lose weight. Then there are others who are overweight but have said they could never give up this or that. Me, I was willing to do almost anything to conquer my weight. People who are not food addicts just do not get the misery and desire to be normal. So, why debate it with them?

[Mrs Beasley 0]

I have kept it a secret because I work with about 10 woman, there are several that are the most miserable judgemental people I have ever met in my life. I feel sad for them sometimes because they are involved in everyone else's problems and not their own. They would be the one's who will say they know everything on the subject and just make MY personal business something to talk about everyday instead of focusing on their own issues. I thought very hard and long about this because I do not like to lie, believe me it is so much easier this way. Years of exeprience has made me learn this is the way to go on this personal experience of mine. There are other places I could share this information with others but if I decided not to tell these woman I had to not tell mostly anyone in fear they would find out and feel like I betrayed them. It is a pretty big lie to live with but I am so glad I did because I hear how they are with other people and their personal business.

[LADYSUMMER 0]

I kept mine a secret too! Didn't want the constant questions, talking about me behind my back. The only people who know is my one good girlfriend and my husband. No one else. People are so judgemental didn't want to deal with them.

Lori

I'm very open with everyone that I'm having surgery, and have been met with great support. Of course, those who know me know the strugle i've had to lose weight. I just don't understand why people feel the need to hide that they've had surgery? I'd love for someone to come at me and say it's "the easy way" or "cheating". they'd get a real piece of my mind!

even those who i don't know well are receptive and not judgement about my surgery. Are there really that many people who give such hateful feedback?

Just curious...

Nikki

[Birinak 19]

People don't know the difference between a band and bypass. You say you've had surgery, people expect the weight to fall of f of you, and for us Bandsters that doesn't usually happen. I've worked in places where people were very open about their bands, and when they'd walk away you'd hear "I saw her drink a milkshake yesterday" or "she doesn't look any different" or "my cousin had that and gained it all back".

MOST non-banded people don't understand how it works- heck, a lot of banded people don't, either. I have lost 23 pounds in the past 5 weeks by controlling what *I* put in my mouth. No matter what the band does for me, *I* am still the one making my food choices.

I think it's wonderful that people are secure telling others! *I* am not.

I intended to vote up your post, but my laptop touchpad is sensitive, my hand slipped, and I ended up voting it down by accident! Sorry, dude. Can someone vote up her post to neutralize my vote and its effect on her "reputation score?" Thanks!

[~*sarah*~ 0]

I intended to vote up your post, but my laptop touchpad is sensitive, my hand slipped, and I ended up voting it down by accident! Sorry, dude. Can someone vote up her post to neutralize my vote and its effect on her "reputation score?" Thanks!

Whoops! Neutralized

[saraannie 7]

I told quite a few folks and tell people who ask how i have lost so much weight. I know i made the right decision. I gave up caring what other people think of me. I have always been overweight, I did this for me and only me. When I am asked how my diet is going, I say great, but I am not on a diet, I am changing my lifestyle, I choose to have the band and I am using as a tool and not a crutch. My mom was very skeptical of me having it and thought this too, would be one of my fads, but every time I see her she comments on my weight loss. I am one of those bandsters that don't limit myself to what I can and cannot eat, if it goes down, then great, if not I move on to something else. I keep my calories counted and exercise daily. I am in this for the long haul, and if I am not losing fast enough for others, too bad, so sad.