Hubby's Comment

[NJGirl32 43]

Last night I went out for my Last Supper for a while. During dinner I explained how I wouldn'tget a fill for 6 weeks and duringthat time I am virtually on a liquid diet/mushies. He made a comment saying maybe the Band is a big gimmick because if you can go that long without a fill and sticking to a diet then you can do it on you own. Today he asked out the diet's going and I said pretty good. He said it again-if you can do this diet then maybe you don't need the band. I know he means well, but he doesn't understand .

Last Sept I started WW and I lost about 30 pounds-gained 20 back! He thinks if I have the willpower to stick to this strict pre/post diet I might be able to do it on my own. How do I anser his concerns? I wish I had the mind-set and stick-to-it ness to diet it away without surgery, but I don't.

Plus most eople I know who lost weight at Weight Watchers gained it back eventually (I am a living example).

I really don't need him second guessing my surgery -especially since it's next week!

[Jenn1214 120]

I'm guessing he's not overweight is he? If everyone could lose weight through willpower alone, this website wouldn't even exist and we wouldn't be discussing it. Don't second guess your surgery...it will be the best thing you ever do for yourself.

[Rachel412 116]

Heck, I can do anything for two weeks. I'm 5 weeks post-op and in "bandster hell" but still following the plan. I've lost 22 in that 5 weeks. I have the willpower to do it all by myself but ONLY because I know those fills are coming and I'll get to a point where I feel satisfied after these small meals. I have NEVER lost more than 30 pounds on any diet.

[JerseyGirl80 12]

My thoughts exactly Jenn.

NJGirl32,

Apparently your husband just doesn't get it. We make it through those tough pre-op weeks because we know what the pay off is, if we weren't getting a band we'd never survive those weeks of starvation!lol

Remember, you're doing this for you, not him. The whole thing is a learning process for you and for him, hopefully he will learn over time what the band is, does and means. It sounds like he can be very discouraging. No offense to you at all, but if my boyfriend had that attitude about it he wouldn't be in my life. If it was easy to lose weight and keep it off for everyone we'd all be thin and the lap band wouldn't exist. Most of us have struggled all our lives or most of our lives with weight. I've done weight watchers 6 times, and gained whatever I've lost back and then some each time. I got the band for more help, to have "portion control installed" because I obviously couldn't control myself at times. Now that I'm banded I'm doing WW again, not to lose weight either (obviously it helps but I'm not feeling like I've hit rock bottom and have no where else to turn as I've done so many times before when I signed up for WW.) I'm doing it just for the support and the accountability, it keeps me motivated. Sorry, I'm going a little off topic here.. Anyway, I've heard negative things like this from co-workers, strangers, "friends", or shall I say THIN people or jealous/insecure FAT people, and it really annoys me! Just do what's right for you and what you want, don't lose focus on that! Good luck to you!

[elcee 3,341]

Not all of us go through "bandster hell". After surgery I was on 2 weeks liquid, 2 weeks mushy, 2 weeks soft but it really wasn't that hard. With the liquid stage I was allowed as much as I wanted so if I was feeling hungry I just ate(drank) some more. I was allowed things like Soups, custard, yogurt, jelly etc. Yes it gets boring and it felt great to be able to go onto mushies but I can't say that I was ever starving. I had my first fill at 3 weeks - yes it was only a tiny 1 but every little bit helps.Again with the mushy stage I was allowed to eat enough to satisfy my hunger. The focus post surgery is about healing more than weight loss. Remember that and you will do fine.

It does make a difference having the band. It may be mental, I'm not sure but I know that I have never been able to stick to a liquid diet previously. Knowing that I was getting a band and that each of the food stages including the preop(which is the worst) were finite made it far easier. You know that none of these stages are forever. You can see the end and you know that you have a tool that is going to help enormously.

[NJGirl32 43]

Believe it or not he wasn't saying it in a discouraging way-he was just logically thinking that if I can do 6 weeks maybe I can do it without surgery? He is overweight at 6'4 he's 280 -mostly belly weight.

You are absolutely right I know I can do 6 weeks because a fill is in the future. When I met my hubby I wasn't fat (not totally skinny but was 185 at 5'6-now I am 248)

The weight has got to go-no doubt about it. I am a teacher so I keep thinking when I go back to school in September I should be a lot thinner and people who haven't seen me over the summer will be really suprised! I'll have fun shopping for new clothes too!

[mkfearnow 0]

Hubby may not be able to understand how hard it is to roller coaster. You might just have to turn a def ear to him and imagine what you'll look like in the not-so-far off future. This is your choice, what you think is best for YOU!

Best of luck

[Momto3redheads 18]

Don't expect others to understand....I have run into that a lot. You won't be on liquids for 6 weeks post op, more than likely tho....it varies between surgeons, but I don't know anyone that had to go that long. You don't get a fill until your 6 week post op appt most of the time, it seems, and so most people do experience the bandster hell, where you are getting hungry between meals and feel like you are on a diet....but just focus on the future and know that it will pass. It might take more than one fill to get out of bandster hell, though, so don't get frustrated....just remember that this is a journey and will take time to change your behaviors and patterns. Don't worry about what other people think/say....it can really get you down if you do. They just don't understand the struggles we have.

Hang in there - we are here to support you!

[honk 780]

Knowing that you will eventually get help from the band does help you make it through the first 6 weeks. It took me 7 months from first consult to surgery. I lost 50 pounds in the time. My thin sister said the same thing. "If you can loose this weight maybe you don't need surgery. My issue is that I know I can loose weight but I can't keep up the smaller portions on my own for ever. Prior to this effort I have lost 100 pounds 3 times in my life but in the end gained it back.