Are Bandsters like Brides???

[NJGirl32 43]

Well I have really been totally obsessed with getting the band. I have researched extensively and I on on this forum way more than I willl ever admit to!

My firend has never asked me a question about the band since I emailed her saying I was seriously considering it. I told my hubby on Monday but he has said anything since then. I mentione dto him that I had my Endoscope and he asked how it went-but no furthers questions. The friend I work with is always too busy talking about herself to ask me any questions...basically what I am saying is WTH!!!

I know brides get all into their weddings obsessively and was wondering if Bansters are the same?

Is it unrealistic to expect people to be interested in this decision or am I simply becoming a Bandzilla ?

[sweetpea61956 6]

I think, or at least I am, overly worried about things. My husband said I was over thinking the liquid thing...but he used to lift weights and drank them all the time. I talk about it all the time, and I have great co-workers who are really interested (or appear to be) they ask questions and are excited for me.

Good luck! and we will listen anytime!

Karen

[dropsizes 2]

I think, or at least I am, overly worried about things. My husband said I was over thinking the liquid thing...but he used to lift weights and drank them all the time. I talk about it all the time, and I have great co-workers who are really interested (or appear to be) they ask questions and are excited for me.

I know what you mean I too talk about it all the time I even go on the site a lot. I have only told a few friends and some of my family. Funny how i think I have over talked it and this is only because it means so much to me. I here if you want to talk. Hope to get my band some time in june /july.

All The Best

Mary

Good luck! and we will listen anytime!

Karen

[Little Teapot 1]

I don't think you're being a bandzilla! lol I'm getting banded on May 20th and it's all I can talk about. The decision you've made is HUGE and it's understandable that you'd want the people closest to you to be interested. I'd feel the same way you do. My husband doesn't really bring it up and I asked him why he never seems to be interested in talking about lap band. He said it's because he's nervous about me having surgery, so he doesn't even want to think about it. Now that surgery is six days away, reality is setting in for him and he's been more interested in the procedure and asking a lot of questions. I think some people just don't know how to respond.

Good luck with your surgery! You're just five days after me!

[NJGirl32 43]

That's exactly what I mean-my husband hasn't brought it up either. Now maybe I just underplayed it when I told him about it. I said "Oh it's an outpatient surgery completely reversable, etc." But I am not sure if he realizes I will need help that first few days and I will be on liquids for a while. I am sure we'll go out to dinner tonight and I will bring it up again. I mean it's not like I decide djust to get a tooth pulled-this is life altering! Sometimes I think men just don't think! Really what does supportive mean anyway? Does supportive mean accepting it or actally taking a vested interest in it. I bet it will hit him when I am at the hospital!

[Dave_NW 92]

I'd say don't be too hard on your family and friends. They want you to succeed, but don't know quite how to approach this sort of surgery.

My experience has been that people tend to adopt a "wait and see" attitude. If they've been around me any length of time, it started as a matter of "Here we go again - another diet!" But after surgery, as the weight started to fall off, those same people stepped right up and were quite interested in how I'm doing. After the few "You've lost so much weight, are you sick???" questions some people asked, and I tell them I was banded, virtually everyone asks how I'm doing, if I'm having any problems, how does it work, and such. But unless they have a weight issue themselves, they don't really have a point of reference. So I don't hold it against them if they don't ask a lot of things up front.

Where I have to be very careful is about getting on my soapbox toward anyone who is obese and who could benefit from surgery. One woman at work was initially very interested, asked me a lot of questions about it, and all that, but has since done nothing about it. I've lost 85 pounds in 5 months, and she's probably gained 25 n the same period. When I see her in the hallway at work she ALWAYS has some kind of food item or fancy coffee drink in her hand. She invariably says "Hi Skinny!" when she sees me, and it's all I can do ti bite my tongue to keep from saying "Hi Fatty!" back at her.

Then I realize that weight loss is a highly personal thing, and I hope if she ever gets to the point where she's had enough with being obese that she'll ask me. In the meantime I just have to allow myself to be "that guy at work who had lap band surgery and lost a lot of weight." And that's a title I don't mind at all.

Dave

[NJGirl32 43]

Thanks Dave! You are probably right-all the interest will come once the weight starts to come off.

[Mrs.Doxie 1]

My husband didn't really talk a lot about it either in the beginning.

Actually, the first time I brought it up, he made some sort of comment about wasting money and how I would lose the weight if I would just eat right, work out, etc etc etc, so I cried, said "nevermind, forget I ever brought it up", and dropped it.

Almost a month later HE brought it up saying "well, if you're gonna do this lap band thing, you need to get it done over the Christmas holidays so you don't miss any work." HUH?!?! That is the VERY next thing he ever said about it!!! I didn't ask questions, just scheduled the next available appointment and went for it. Fortunately, I had jumped through all the hoops four years ago when I first decided to do it (before I chickened out), so I had all the test results from the asthma, sleep apnea, blood pressure, cholesterol, etc. I knew my insurance would not cover it (plan exclusion and I had already gone through the extensive appeals process the first time), so the rest was easy. I had my initial consult on November 24th and took care of the breathing and EKG stuff that day, went for my blood work on the 26th, had my EGD on December 9th, and was banded on December 16th. Talk about a whirlwind!!!

After that, he has not really brought it up much, but...

I get LOTS more hugs. He holds my hand more. He does not push me to eat certain things and takes my diet into consideration when he does his weekly Sunday night dinner. He jokes to others that I am a cheap date because I only eat two bites and I'm done (gross exaggeration, but whatever). He does not complain that I get up early 3 days each week to go to the gym and leave him to yell at our teenagers to get ready to go to school. I think all of this is his way of being supportive and I am very grateful.

One time I asked him if he was more attracted to me now that I have lost weight, he responded that he loves me the same as he always has, so nothing changed there, but that he definitely thought I was getting sexier.

Another time I asked him if I was living up to his expectations after getting the band. He said no, that I had far exceeded them. He had watched me try so many things over the years that he expected me just to give up on this one also. I thought THAT summed up everything. THAT is why he didn't want me to do it and THAT is why he didn't talk about it beforehand. Your husband may very well be the same.

Good luck!

[readytolosemomof5 0]

My husband didn't really talk a lot about it either in the beginning.

Actually, the first time I brought it up, he made some sort of comment about wasting money and how I would lose the weight if I would just eat right, work out, etc etc etc, so I cried, said "nevermind, forget I ever brought it up", and dropped it.

Almost a month later HE brought it up saying "well, if you're gonna do this lap band thing, you need to get it done over the Christmas holidays so you don't miss any work." HUH?!?! That is the VERY next thing he ever said about it!!! I didn't ask questions, just scheduled the next available appointment and went for it. Fortunately, I had jumped through all the hoops four years ago when I first decided to do it (before I chickened out), so I had all the test results from the asthma, sleep apnea, blood pressure, cholesterol, etc. I knew my insurance would not cover it (plan exclusion and I had already gone through the extensive appeals process the first time), so the rest was easy. I had my initial consult on November 24th and took care of the breathing and EKG stuff that day, went for my blood work on the 26th, had my EGD on December 9th, and was banded on December 16th. Talk about a whirlwind!!!

After that, he has not really brought it up much, but...

I get LOTS more hugs. He holds my hand more. He does not push me to eat certain things and takes my diet into consideration when he does his weekly Sunday night dinner. He jokes to others that I am a cheap date because I only eat two bites and I'm done (gross exaggeration, but whatever). He does not complain that I get up early 3 days each week to go to the gym and leave him to yell at our teenagers to get ready to go to school. I think all of this is his way of being supportive and I am very grateful.

One time I asked him if he was more attracted to me now that I have lost weight, he responded that he loves me the same as he always has, so nothing changed there, but that he definitely thought I was getting sexier.

Another time I asked him if I was living up to his expectations after getting the band. He said no, that I had far exceeded them. He had watched me try so many things over the years that he expected me just to give up on this one also. I thought THAT summed up everything. THAT is why he didn't want me to do it and THAT is why he didn't talk about it beforehand. Your husband may very well be the same.

Good luck!

I too am going to True Results, and have been assigned to Dr Reilly. I have completed everything but the EGD, and was told by my advocate that Dr Reilly will do it, I have been waiting since 4/29 to hear from their office about getting it done, and have heard nothing. I'm not overly anxious at this time sine I don't plan to be banded until late July, early August, but still...I wonder did you have any issues? Or did you go somewhere else to get your EGD? Also, I've not actually met Dr Reilly yet, what was your opinion of him?

[jennifer1 180]

i totally feel you on the Bandzilla thing. i am getting banded may 20th and am in the middle of my pre-op liquid diet. Down 7lbs so far!!! i feel i am obsessed with gettting banded as its all i can think about. i have one friend that just started to process of getting banded so i can talk her ear off about it, but other than that no one else really seems to care. I come to this site for support, but it kinda sucks that others dont share my enthsiasim. But oh well i'm doing this me and no one else! Best wishses on your journey!

[NULadiCumin 0]

I feel like Im a bandzilla as well. I have did all the things to get approve and now Im in limbo awaiting for insurance to approve. So i have been talking my friends and moms ear off about how anxious I am to get banded. I come on this site just about everyday......so you are not alone. I can not wait to get approve and get a date

[NJGirl32 43]

Thanks everyone- it's nice to know that I am not the only one totally obessed with the band

Renne-thanks for sharing your journey with your husband. I hope I get lots more hugs and more affection too!

Last night we wentto dinner - I told him this was my last meal for about 4-6 weeks (restuarant). We talked all about the band over dinner-it was really nice. He asked questions and was surprised at some things. He really didn't understand how the band worked so I explained itto him and said it's just a tool and I have to do my part too. He was really listening and it was a great night. I told him I won't be able to lift heavy things like food shopping and maybe laundry-he said for how long..3 years? LOL I said "Yep that's sounds about right!" So we had some serious discussions and a few laughs. But I am still a Bandzilla-

[Jachut 487]

I think other people do get tired of hearing you talk about it, after a while I had to make a very concerted effort not to talk about my weight loss all the time. I mean it was huge to me, and its the same with forever talking about your kids or anything else personal to you in your life. People are interested only to a point, but they're not interested in your banding the way YOU are. Its like some people acting all offended because its christmas or easter or whatever and they go to a family dinner and its the same foods - all the fattening stuff. Some people actually expect that such occasions should be catered around their needs or include options to suit their needs, when really, why the heck should anyone else have to change their ways?

That's where this forum is great - you can talk about it all you like here and know that others are just as interested. But I'd make sure to pursue other topics of conversation in the real world or people are going to start avoiding you.

[Erika78 1]

I am sooo with you!!!! I feel this is something that is constantly on my mind. I am scheduled for surgery july 28. I haven't told many people but the people I did tell, just don't seem that interested. have you noticed that any questions people ask you have a negative undertone. So I am on here all the time too. Its so nice to read everyones questions and answers. Good Luck!!!

i totally feel you on the Bandzilla thing. i am getting banded may 20th and am in the middle of my pre-op liquid diet. Down 7lbs so far!!! i feel i am obsessed with gettting banded as its all i can think about. i have one friend that just started to process of getting banded so i can talk her ear off about it, but other than that no one else really seems to care. I come to this site for support, but it kinda sucks that others dont share my enthsiasim. But oh well i'm doing this me and no one else! Best wishses on your journey!

[More2Love 5]

My parents are the only people who know that I got banded. Any boy did I talk about it 24/7 with them. But that's all that I cared about. In fact, it's all that I still care about. Lap Band is so important to me, and I actually enjoy talking about it! Yes, I bet it can be annoying. I literally talk about it all the time - out for dinner, in the car, on the phone, before bed, etc. It's just a topic that means a lot to me and it's such a big part of my life that it's a topic that I can't seem to avoid.