Do you ever get to where you don't feel like a fat person?

[Momto3redheads 18]

It appears that some come through surgery and weight loss with flying colors and their self esteem abounds to heights unknown...and others who still struggle with their self image and how they view themselves, even when their bodies are no longer what they used to be. I fall into the latter category. Folks tell me how great I look and I can now buy clothes in the non-plus sized section of the store....but in my head I still think like a fat girl. I am insecure and uncomfortable when I am in the spotlight or someone is complimenting me - and I don't feel skinny and pretty. So I think it is a process to change your self image - which takes longer than it does to change your physical self, in some cases. But it is a journey - and we will get there!!! THat is why I think going to counseling really helps as you go through your lapband journey - to help you process your thoughts and patterns and see things from another perspective.

Kim

[JanB23 23]

I am sitting here with tears in my eyes as reading all your posts brings up emotions i try to suppress. I have days where i feel really good about myself and then the next i think " who are you kidding, you might feel better but you are still fat".

I have a friend who was having a good day during her weight loss journey and went for a walk with her head held high only to have a car load of blokes drive past and yell at her "keep walking you fat cow". She says that really burst her bubble and changed a good day to bad. So it is just not our minds but also those inconsiderate people who are so rude to others and have no conscience of what there words can do, strangers, family and friends alike..

But we are better than these people and we will succeed.

Good luck everyone.

[jennifer1 180]

Ok i'm sitting over her boo hooing all over my computer as I read your post. I'm sooo pissed cuz i typed a reply before and lost my internet connection!!ugh! long story short i have often wondered how my role is going to shift cuz i've played the funny fat girl role all my life. I will be the first to comment about my weight or crack a joke cuz if i do it first it's no longer funny or hurtful if someone else does it. it was my defense mechanism. i love this forum and the support it offers. i can come here and chat with people whom i've never met and will probably never meet, but i can share my deepest feeling concerning my weight with! Love you guys!!

I am sitting here with tears in my eyes as reading all your posts brings up emotions i try to suppress. I have days where i feel really good about myself and then the next i think " who are you kidding, you might feel better but you are still fat".

I have a friend who was having a good day during her weight loss journey and went for a walk with her head held high only to have a car load of blokes drive past and yell at her "keep walking you fat cow". She says that really burst her bubble and changed a good day to bad. So it is just not our minds but also those inconsiderate people who are so rude to others and have no conscience of what there words can do, strangers, family and friends alike..

But we are better than these people and we will succeed.

Good luck everyone.

[Humming Bird 275]

For me, it has taken a long time for my brain/mind to catch up. I've lost over 100 pounds, but some days it only feels like 50. I think it helps me to not obcess over it 24/7. I know that is easier said than done. I still find myself turning sideways to fit through small spaces when there is no need now. I hold up a shirt and think it will be too small, then when I put it on it hangs like a circus tent. I have since learned to try everything on and not just eyeball it.

There have been times in my adult life when I've been thin and I think in time my brain will catch up to the way it feels to be that way again.

[Ready2 4]

For me, it has taken a long time for my brain/mind to catch up. I've lost over 100 pounds, but some days it only feels like 50. I think it helps me to not obcess over it 24/7. I know that is easier said than done. I still find myself turning sideways to fit through small spaces when there is no need now. I hold up a shirt and think it will be too small, then when I put it on it hangs like a circus tent. I have since learned to try everything on and not just eyeball it.

There have been times in my adult life when I've been thin and I think in time my brain will catch up to the way it feels to be that way again.

I have a closet full of clothes that would hang on me like a circus tent too......Why can't I get rid of them? I'm a size 6 now those size 16 clothes and XL tops will NOT fit. They just take up room in my closet.

[Cindy C 150]

I had a garage sale this weekend. Started out with 13 boxes of clothes. 1X-4X. Sold a whole 4 pr of size 22 jeans! Fat or thin, I've always been kind of a diva and there are some beautiful clothes out there. Some of them have never even been worn. Unfortunately, every time a car pulled into my driveway, skinny people climbed out! I kept praying "please be a large woman or even a big old drag queen!" But no luck! Anyway, if anybody lives in the Detroit area and wants them, let me know. Otherwise it's all going to the Goodwill box Monday!

[JanB23 23]

Cindy C, Ebay your clothes. I just sold 5 out 6 items I put on ebay. I didn't get a lot for them but but more than if i had sent them to goodwill. If i sell a few more items i will have enough money to buy myself something new.

[Cindy C 150]

Thanks, Jan. I might try that with some of the better items. There's also a consignment shop nearby. I really just want them out of here. I'm sooooo tired of looking at them!

[Humming Bird 275]

Thanks, Jan. I might try that with some of the better items. There's also a consignment shop nearby. I really just want them out of here. I'm sooooo tired of looking at them!

I hear you with the sick of looking at it part. My sewing room where I've been putting the big mama stuff is looking like a hoarder's room.

I have started taking things to a plus size consignment shop, so I hope to make a few bucks. The problem is all the ironing I'm doing before I take them....ugh. If the stuff doesn't sell, I can choose leave it and the shop will donate it.

[1970MaleJaxFL 7]

I can imagine that you have developed a pretty nice, humble and friendly personality, which will be very attractive on top of your new physical form once you hit your goal weight. Your sense of self image will likely lag many months behind your physical transformation but you will eventually gain an accurate assessment of yourself.

[honk 780]

This is a hard question to answer. While I did not own a scale at the time I would say at my highest I was about 380 size 26/28. Pre and post surgery I have lost 140 pounds. But there was a previous poster on this thread whose highest size was a 16 that's smaller than I am now. Being a size 20 is a huge victory for me. I no longer feel like I am so fat that people stare as I walk by. However I'm sure there are peope who think I am grossly overweight. In fact I am still morbidly obese. The issue I have with the BMI charts is that I exercise 7 days a week and eat a very conservative diet; but am still considered morbidly obese.

I will say that men never opened the door for me at my highest weight. Now they always do.

[Cindy C 150]

This is a hard question to answer. While I did not own a scale at the time I would say at my highest I was about 380 size 26/28. Pre and post surgery I have lost 140 pounds. But there was a previous poster on this thread whose highest size was a 16 that's smaller than I am now. Being a size 20 is a huge victory for me. I no longer feel like I am so fat that people stare as I walk by. However I'm sure there are peope who think I am grossly overweight. In fact I am still morbidly obese. The issue I have with the BMI charts is that I exercise 7 days a week and eat a very conservative diet; but am still considered morbidly obese.

I will say that men never opened the door for me at my highest weight. Now they always do.

That's great, Honk! Keep up the good work.

[Jack 855]

great post about 'do you always feel fat'?

For me, the very first hint that wasn't true, was suddenly discovering I no longer was the fattest person in any room I came into.

The second clue, was no longer having to shop stores that have only XXXX+ sizes.

Then I noticed a whole series of little NSV observations, that helped convince that ~*something*~ good was happening.

Now 6 1/2 years postOp, the answer for me is 'NO.....I don't always feel fat.'

And I find myself eating more like Normos do all the time. food and eating/overeating is no longer the most important thing in my life.

and re: "I am in a place where i can;t keep food down, not sure if my band area is inflamed or something else. Possibly mental.....i don't feel hungry and i have no cravings but i need to get some nutrition,"

It does sound like you have irritated something. There are tons of clinical symptoms that need to be answered before leaping to any professional conclusion. You should find some local live face-to-face support group or actual clinic that services Bands.

I went thru being too tight several different times, without being emotionally competent enough to admit THAT was my problem. Your solution awaits taking action now. Please keep us advised of what you find.

[LaMonica 6]

A great topic!! I was banded 3 years ago, my highest weight was around 280/size 22 and now I am 146/size 6. I don't necessarily "feel fat" but I still do things like look at small walking spaces and think "It will be hard to walk through there" and I still look at Lane Bryant and other plus size clothing stores when I walk through the mall and stuff because that used to be the only place I could really go.

While I have been this size for serveral months now, it still feels weird that I am no longer plus size. I agree with the previous poster that said "skinny people" make such negative comments about "fat people". I guess since I was so big I was never at liberty to hear all of these secret conversations and now that I do I get highly upset and make sure to tell them how rude they are being. Inside I will always be a "fat girl" as I spent 24 years that way and not "fat" in a bad sense...I am still compassionate and I don't look down on others who have weight struggles or any struggles for that matter, It will always be a part of who I am no matter what the clothes and scale may say. Just in a positive and learning way instead of a beating myself up kind of way.

[mauraclegg 29]

Having trouble with there being less of me. Everyone else sees it, but I somehow think I look worse. It's a daily battle