Wife is against me getting the band- very bummed

[Peter 0]

My wife is against me getting the band. She is concerned that I won't make life changes (exercise). I need to loose 75 lbs to get to a healthy bmi. (I just leasrned that I am pre-diabetic and my cholesterol is off the charts) Right now I exercise 1 x per week. I'm just not motivated to exercise more with all this weight I lug around. I tell her that after I loose a little weight I will have more energy to go to the gym, walk, etc. She wants me to demonstrate life changs for 6 mos before getting the band. The Dr. is ready to schedule my surgery in 3 weeks. Really not sure what to do.

Your thoughts would sure be appreciated.

Peter

[MarciaLynn 0]

My wife is against me getting the band. She is concerned that I won't make life changes (exercise). I need to loose 75 lbs to get to a healthy bmi. (I just leasrned that I am pre-diabetic and my cholesterol is off the charts) Right now I exercise 1 x per week. I'm just not motivated to exercise more with all this weight I lug around. I tell her that after I loose a little weight I will have more energy to go to the gym, walk, etc. She wants me to demonstrate life changs for 6 mos before getting the band. The Dr. is ready to schedule my surgery in 3 weeks. Really not sure what to do.

Your thoughts would sure be appreciated.

Peter

Hi Peter,

My husband wasn't that thrilled either. I don't think they understand how miserable we feel and how much we really believe this surgery is going to help us. I can't wait. My surgery date is May 11 and I'm counting down. My thoughts are the same as yours - once we lose a little, we'll get more motivated to get moving around. I'm doing this for me, to change my life (which he is also a part of) and I really think we can more or less, prove that this really can be a huge help.

Good Luck. Be true to you. You're worth it

Marcia

[Cindy C 150]

Peter, you're pre-diabetic with high blood pressure. You need to do something about that. If you drop the weight and resolve the other medical issues you will add many years to your life expectancy. Once the weight starts coming off, you'll have so much energy you won't be able to help yourself from burning it off. Tell your wife that you understand her concerns and that you will follow through...then DO IT! It will benefit her as much as it will you!

[CharlotteCS 0]

My wife is against me getting the band. She is concerned that I won't make life changes (exercise). I need to loose 75 lbs to get to a healthy bmi. (I just leasrned that I am pre-diabetic and my cholesterol is off the charts) Right now I exercise 1 x per week. I'm just not motivated to exercise more with all this weight I lug around. I tell her that after I loose a little weight I will have more energy to go to the gym, walk, etc. She wants me to demonstrate life changs for 6 mos before getting the band. The Dr. is ready to schedule my surgery in 3 weeks. Really not sure what to do.

Your thoughts would sure be appreciated.

Peter

My husband was against it too and we were cash pay, but I told him I refuse to live the rest of my life this way. Our daughter had gastric bypass a year ago and looks just beautiful. She didn't exercise at first either, but now that she's lost her weight, she has her energy back and started working out and doing Zumba to tone up. Lapband will force you to make life changes on eating. You will not regret it if you go ahead with the surgery. Oh by the way, I would have had the surgery with or without his approval. The mental aspect of losing your weight and being happy is very important.

[Jennifer Hathaway 12]

It is your health on the line not your wifes. I guess I would just do the surgery. It can do amazing things for people.

[mattie7632 24]

It's hard when you don't have spousal support.

What your wife doesn't understand is that the band will help you to make those lifestyle changes that thus far, you have not. She doesn't believe you will do your part because so far you haven't? Well, NONE of us did our part until now that we have the band, else we wouldn't have needed the band!

You will drop weight fast during pre and post op and that alone will motivate you to eat right. Then as you continue to lose it will motivate you more and at some point you will have enough energy and motivation to start exercising. I just started exercising at 4 months out.--not a lot--but I finally have enough energy to commit to a beginner regimen.

If you talk to her the right way you can convince her. You know they say it's all about the delivery, not the words!

[54Shirley 105]

I'm not one to beat around the bush,,,, so I'll be straight with you.

You have some Medical conditions that in the long run could kill you. THAT'S A FACT!

If your wife wants you around in her life for a little while longer, then she should give it a thought, and that's it ! Just a little thought, and go for it.

Otherwise,,, I'm going to ask you if you have some huge Insurance Policy on you, if and when you die???? Because to get healthy, and have someone tell you NO ! !

Is not thinking straight.

Of course you will be sluggish in the beginning, but it only gets better.

I walk ! Titanium Knees and all. I'm just starting so it's around the block 3x a week. Eventually, I will add on more steps, but with no walker, cane , nothing,,, just me doing it ! ! ! I don't want to where these knees out. So like I said it's a start.

Also when it gets cold and snows here in Michigan, I can't go walking, could break my knees. So I will go down the road to a physical Therapy place. Now these places are starting up to rent their Gym out for a set price. (LIKE GOING TO A GYM, BUT YOUR NOT STUCK IN A CONTRACT). Even your Dr. where he does his surgery in the Hospital should have access to exercise equipment, or knowledge of where to go, For me it will be about $30.00 a month.

So you might want to check around, and check into this.

But tell your lady that you know you need to do this (AND YOU DO, OR YOU WOULDN'T BE ON HERE...) Or your only going to get bigger, and sicker/ That is the truth..

Shirley

[cwm812 11]

I'm assuming that your wife doesn't have a weight problem. It's really hard to understand the problems of the obese unless you live with them everyday.

When I got my band, I didn't exercise at all until I had lost 80 lbs. Before that, it was just too hard. It took most of my energy to get up and go to work everyday. At first, I just started added a little more activity into my daily routine. I'd take the stairs instead of the elevator. I'd park at the far end of the parking lot at work, that sort of thing. 10 months after banding, I joined a gym and I've gone regularly ever since. The lifestyle changes are difficult, but they are soooooo much easier when some of the weight is gone. Trying to do everything to prove you are band-worthy is ridiculous. It will be very different after you are banded. It is no longer a battle of wills. You will have the band and maybe even you wife for support.

You can do this.

Cindy

[NJGirl32 43]

Try giving her something that weighs 75lbs ( or something very heavy ) and tell her to walk up and down the stairs carrying it. Then tell her that's what it feels like being overweight and why it's so difficult to be motivated enough to exercise.

My dog only weighs 19 pounds, but when I pick her up and walk around the house it's very tiring and I can't do it for very long. I often think that if I lost even 19 punds it would be equal to not carry a Jack Russel around with me all day. My goal is to lose the equalivant to 4 Jack Russels ! lol

[Jenn1214 120]

It sounds like your wife thinks you're getting the band so you can take the "easy way out". There is nothing easy about this lifestyle. It's a tool that can help you eat less, but you still have to put in the effort. Maybe if she understands that she will be more accepting of it. I'm assuming she's not overweight or she would understand the physical and emotional misery of being obese.

My fiance decided to get the lap band after I started my journey. I love him and I want him to be around for a long time so I'm all for it. Hopefully your wife will eventually support your decision to lose the weight and live a healthier, longer life too. Good luck!

[ElizabethNYC 1]

Honestly I know it's probably hard not to have the support but I would do it anyway. This is your choice and it's something that you want to do. Once you get some weight off you will be motivated to get more and more. Granted you might struggle at times but as long as you keep a positive outlook and follow your doctors direction you should do well. Good luck with everything!!

[Peter 0]

THANK YOU to all of you who have replied. I'm encouraging my wife to spend more time on this site and this discussion. I really appreciate your support. I'm so tired of lugging this weight around, while I carry the weight well (I don't necessarily look like I am 75 lbs overweight) the weight is so dibilitating its crazy. Also, now that the Dr has told me I am prediabetic and in his words "your Triglyceride are ungodly high" i'm really motivated to do something about my health and weight.

As many of you surmised, my wife does not have a weight problem whatsoever and can pretty much eat what she wants- lucky her! Anyway, I think her good health makes it hard for her to understand why exercising more and eating less just isn't working for me. I know the band is not a silver bullet, but rather a "consumption drill sargent" and I am ready to fall into line. Thanks again for all your words of wisdom!

[MarcyLoo 12]

I would also present it to her this way; even if you end up NOT exercising, the band will help you lose a lot of weight which alone will greatly improve your health and lengthen your life. Chances re afte ryou lose the weight you'll naturally participate in more activity.

[Dave_NW 92]

Peter, you're "only" 75 pounds away from a healthy BMI. This year.

Next year you can easily be "only" 100 pounds away.

The year after that, maybe "only" 125.

Where does it end? It's progressive, it's life threatening, and it can be fatal. She doesn't understand that NOT taking action could easily make her a widow. She needs to wake up and accept that you need a hand getting your life under control.

I carried around that extra 75 or 100 or 125 pounds for years. I ignored it and felt the side effects of not being able to be healthier. I became a spectator in my life, while I wasted years waiting for things to magically be better. I finally decided I didn't care what others thought, it was high time to take control of the situation. I had my surgery five months ago, and in such a short time, I have my life back. I'm down over 80 pounds, my blood pressure is well within limits, and my lab work says I'm in the Normal range for everything they tested. I eat right, and I exercise four or five days a week. Before surgery I didn't do either of those things.

If you can do the surgery, I recommend you go for it, and not waste any more time. My ONLY regret about the surgery was that I didn't do it years ago.

Good luck!

Dave

[54Shirley 105]

My husband has High Blood Pressure, High Triglycerides, and High Cholesterol. This is for starts.

He has a Cardiologist, and he is a heart Attack waiting to happen. He's a good 100 lbs. over weight.

But he would rather die then have the Band, and lose all that food.

We have discussed this, believe me ! That is his wish, so I know it will happen some day. Next month his Medicare kicks into gear, and he is going to the Dr. for a million tests. GOOD ! I hope someone wakes him up.

Now me, why would I want to die, when I am fighting to live?

I plan to keep Plugging along.

Take your wife to a Seminar where she will here from the Dr.'s herself what this is all about.

Because this is no easy way out at all.....