How can I convince my husband?

[cakegirl 12]

I want to get the lap band, but my husband is against it. He's an anti-medicine type of guy - he thinks just about anything can be cured with a glass of Water, and that, for example, diabetics should just lose weight, depressed people should just cheer up, etc.

He thinks he's supportive of me - and hey, he hasn't left me for being fat - and he's getting me an exercise bike for mother's day next month. But he's against the surgery.

I've done my own research and investigating, talked to people with the band, had the prelim appointment with a clinic, gotten all the information together... but this roadblock is still in my way.

I've read a few posts on here where people have said that their partners were against the procedure at first, and i was wondering if you could give me advice on what I can do to make him realise that this is the only option I can see that might work?

He still thinks that conventional weight-loss methods will work, because they've "worked before", and he doesn't believe me that I have never been a healthy weight. I lost weight doing Jenny Craig pre-pregnancy, but even then, I was over 3kg above the maximum healthy weight for my height, and I plateaued for 4 months, unable to get below that weight, before I fell pregnant and had to go off the program. My actual healthy weight range - well, I haven't been there since I was 12 or 13.

Thanks in advance,

Rebecca

[njm 0]

Tell him any one can lose the weight. But... Statistically less than 5 % can keep it off. Tell him thanks for the bike. It will help with your weight loss after the band

[mjo3393 0]

I know how you are feeling. When I started this journey my husband did not agree with it at all. He did not want me to get the lap band, he felt that if I just ate right and exercised I could lose the weight. He also dose not see me as being heavy, in a way that is really sweet, but it does not help, and my husband is the total opposite he needs to gain weight, so it was hard to convince him. Then one night while we were in bed we had a really long tearful, on my end, talk about everything I was feeling and what he was feeling, and come to learn it was the surgery he was worried about, what if something happens to you type of thing. I explained that if I didn't do this to lose weight then something will happen to me not tomorrow or next year, but the medical issues with obeisity are devistating not to mention you mental health and how you feel about yourself. So to make a long story short he supports me now and I am having my surgery on May 13th. You need to do this for you and no one else. Best of luck.

[missmary44 1]

I went in for my first consult in 2008 and my husband wasnt for it at all. Then after trying a number of times to lose weight on my own I decided to go back this past month. He was very upset I made the appointment. But I was adamant and told him that I was not asking for permission. That this was my health and I wanted to live for another 30 years. I believe he saw my resolve and commitment and decided there was no arguing with me. Whether or not I had his support I was going to do it. I will say that most of his concerns were how MY surgery was going to affect him personally. But he seems to have come to terms with it and I am having surgery on the 11th of May

Wishing you well.

[cakegirl 12]

I know my husband *thinks* I don't listen to him, so if I just went ahead and booked it and had the surgery, it'd probably be the end of us I guess I'll have to try to keep winning him over. Both my parents are supportive of the surgery, so maybe if he hears it enough times from the three of us, he'll give in...

[missmary44 1]

I know my husband *thinks* I don't listen to him, so if I just went ahead and booked it and had the surgery, it'd probably be the end of us I guess I'll have to try to keep winning him over. Both my parents are supportive of the surgery, so maybe if he hears it enough times from the three of us, he'll give in...

You will have to do whats the best for the both of you. My mother stated that she thought was my husband was against it cause it was a security thing for him, keeping me fat. That maybe if I lost all the weight I would also leave him. Silly but you never can tell what goes on in someones brain.

[smackles 0]

My husband was against lapband at first. He told me he was worried about the surgery itself. I had my surgery July 15th. Everything worked out

[SageTracey 608]

My husband actually suggested it (without knowing that my dr had also suggested I look into WLS.) My husband was concerned that he would lose me if I didn't take control of my weight and he wants to keep me around for a long time - his words after 27 years of marriage!

[Band_Groupie 3]

Try taking him to a seminar (my DH went to two before he was convinced, and yes, he sounded the same and had watched me lose big chunks of weight many times) and have him read some stories you print here (I'm a blogger), and print some before/after photos too. I'm about 2.5 years out, 100 lbs. + still off and I'm in the middle of a normal BMI and have been maintaining...no more hypertension or prediabetes. My words for him are that I now feel like he does about food...normal...I can limit my intake and not feel like I'm starving all the time. The Band just helps to level the playing field. ((hugs)) -BG http://bandgroupiethesweetspot.blogspot.com/

[cakegirl 12]

As an update to this...

My health went downhill after I first posted on here. Plus I went on Weight Watchers and only managed to lose 1.8kg in 10 weeks - what a joke and a waste of money! I was physically unable to eat the points they wanted me to - I was left cramping and hungry and with low blood sugar headaches and everything...

I ended up being diagnosed with PCOS (which apparently I've had for a LONG time undiagnosed), insulin resistance, borderline type 2 diabetes and metabolic syndrome.

When four different doctors agreed that the lapband would help me with all of these problems, DH didn't need any more convincing - he even paid the gap between what the insurance would pay and what the doctor charged!

So I'm happily banded now for 3 weeks!

[Alaskanclover 6]

I had PCOS,and I am pre dieabetic and metabolism syndrome and high cholesterol, I went for a eval, my hubby is the same, he was against it but more info I get the better, he says it is up to me and I am set on it, I have a 4yr old and need to be healthy for him but also me. I thought about the gastric sleeve but not sure which one. I am still 6 month out on the surgery date also.