My Mother and WLS

[lmwalt2413 0]

Well, I told my mom I am meeting with a surgeon in May about WLS. She was pissed needless to say.

She told me I am just lazy and taking the easy way out and that if I didn't have the financial ability to pay for it myself then I would have to do it the old fashioned way and diet and exercise. I told her that from what I have learned this is more difficult because you don't have a choice but to diet and exercise.

My mother has been very negative toward me the last 10 years that I have been overweight. She constantly makes comments, calls me names, and embarasses me in front of others. The thing is if I get banded then she is going to make fun of me and embarass me in front of people about this.

I guess I just don't know how to deal with her. I understand she is concerned for my health, but she goes about it all wrong.

Just venting, sorry.

[njm 0]

Don't see her in public or with anyone else, until she learns to behave. Find others who are supportive and spend time with them.

[wingin 0]

I am starting my journey also and my mother is the same as your's even though she is overweight herself..at least I am willing to do something about it...I went to a support group meeting and there were several people there whose mothers were also very negative about the sugery...you arent doing it for her you are doing it for you!!!! She needs to get over it...and when people see how good you look, you shouldnt be embarrassed at all...enjoy it!

[jennifer1 180]

My heart goes out to you. My mother and sister(the only two i told in my family) arent supportive either. Not to the same degree as your but that is terrible. I have found solace in the few friends that support me 100% and in this site. I would find a kind way to tell your mother how she's making you feel without disrespecting her(you only get one mother), but avoid public situations with her until she can prove worthy of your presence in public. I am on this site EVERYDAY, SEVERAL TIMES A DAY...because I know i have support here. Stick with the positives and let go of the megative people. I dont know why people dont get that if we could lose weight the "normal" way then we would. Who in their right mind has surgery just to do it. And by no means is this going to be easy. So with that said. I'm glad you've made a decision that you are happy about it.

Oh yeah maybe you're mom is jealous. I know my sister is. She wants to have the surgery but her husband wont let her! OHHHH TOO BAD! Moving right along.

Best wishes hun!

Jennifer

Well, I told my mom I am meeting with a surgeon in May about WLS. She was pissed needless to say.

She told me I am just lazy and taking the easy way out and that if I didn't have the financial ability to pay for it myself then I would have to do it the old fashioned way and diet and exercise. I told her that from what I have learned this is more difficult because you don't have a choice but to diet and exercise.

My mother has been very negative toward me the last 10 years that I have been overweight. She constantly makes comments, calls me names, and embarasses me in front of others. The thing is if I get banded then she is going to make fun of me and embarass me in front of people about this.

I guess I just don't know how to deal with her. I understand she is concerned for my health, but she goes about it all wrong.

Just venting, sorry.

[bellarn09 1]

I would stop discussing it with her. Find optimistic people to talk with. Everyone has an opinion and it seems the ones that are uneducated about the band are the ones with the negative comments. If it were as easy as "just diet and exercise" this forum would not exist. Good Luck with your journey! I'm only 9 days post op, but I am thrilled that I did this for me and the future, healthier me!

[bluescooby14 0]

I have not told anyone in my family Just my fiancee and a few coworkers none of my family live near me nor would I guess they care if I did tell them , I cannot understand how it should even matter to her unless that is her only way of showing she has any feelings whats so ever toward you . If she constantly ridicules you about your weight and embarasses you maybe you should tell her how you've been eating your feelings of resentment for the treatment she's been giving you , I know alot about that I'm the second chance kid 1st was a girl so try again for the boy failed at it again so stuck with 2 girls second hand clothes second hand shoes second hand love . That is how I felt all my life my fiancee is the only one that hasn't made me feel this way and when he met my sister told me he was the lucky one out of him and her husband . I was afraid once he met her he'd be disapointed in what he had so I never talked much about her nor the way I felt about her and my mom and dad . I'm doing this lap band for my kids myself and for him and our future I want to be with him happy and healthy for a long long time and I hope to make him even a bit of how happy hes made me. Sorry I guess I'm running on but anyway lifes to short to hang with downers even if they are family look up look out world cuz us banners are coming .

[Jonna 4]

I'm so sorry so many people do not have support from loved ones, when this is one of the biggest decisions you can ever make for yourself. Yes, this is for yourself and NO ONE else!! I have been fortunate and have support from everyone I've told or maybe their just being nice. Whatever the case, I could care less what they think because I'm doing this for me, myself and I!!! Please don't let anyone tell you what is right for you, you are the only one that knows that. Trust in God with your decision and no one else!! Take care and best of luck to everyone!!

[rumpusparable 0]

Please forgive me if this comes across as a bit too blunt: why do you still talk to her or allow her in your life when she's like that? Sharing some genes with someone is not enough to excuse them being toxic people to you.

I have not spoken to my father or most of that side of my family in years because he and most of them are such hateful, hurtful people. Best decision of my life so far, truly. I don't miss them and I feel 300% better than when I allowed them to hurt me by being in my life.