Finally Told Someone!!!

[NJGirl32 43]

I finally found the corage (thanks to everyone on this forum) to tell my best friend that I am having surgery. I sent her an email and I am curious what her reply will be. She is someone I can trust . So this is my big first step in opening up - I hope she's supportive or else I wouldn't feel as comfortable telling my husband.

[Rachel412 116]

Aww, congratulations! I keep checking back on your original thread for updates. I hope her response is even better than you hoped!

[NJGirl32 43]

I was nervously awaiting her reply-really anixious and then she sent an email and about halfwaythrough she wrote:

"I don’t know anything about the lapband. What is it? I know it has to do with weight loss. What kind of surgery is involved? Don’t worry I wouldn’t say anything."

So all my worrying and panicing and she doesn't even know anything about the band. She knows friends that have had Gastoc By pass though. I wrote her a reply expaining a little about it. I was really surprized that she didn't know more about it. She is not heavy and never battled with weight so maybe she just doesn't know? What if my husband doesn't know either? I never complipated havingto explain what it is.

[bellarn09 1]

Why don't you start the conversation with your husband like this. "Have you ever heard of the lapband surgery?" And just have a conversation about it. It might ease you into telling him more.

[NJGirl32 43]

The more I think about itthe more I am not happy with her reply. I wrote her back giving a little more detail (just a little), but she sent me 2 emails after that without one follow up question or comment- WTH! Sreiously-she couls at least say something. Okay so I am guessing I'll get no support from her but at least she knows.

On a happier no she asked if I was going to our grade school reunion in August and I said yes! I don't like to go normally but it will be 2 1/2 months post surgery date bythen so I should be thinner.

I will tell my hubby and I will probably ease into it. His birthday is this weekend so I wantto wait until after this weekend.

[burningfeet 0]

From the comment your husband made that you are the prettiest woman in the room when you went to dinner with him .... It sounds like he will be supportive and very happy that you are making a decision that is healthy for you ! You need to tell him so that he is a part of the journey in your life and not left out ... He loves YOU -- he just wants the best for you and for you to be healthy. Tell him over a glass of wine and a smile ! Show him your excitement !

[sandy1 1]

Good luck with your husband. I know you will need his support! Keep us informed and remember we are here is you need someone to talk to!!

[NJGirl32 43]

From the comment your husband made that you are the prettiest woman in the room when you went to dinner with him .... It sounds like he will be supportive and very happy that you are making a decision that is healthy for you ! You need to tell him so that he is a part of the journey in your life and not left out ... He loves YOU -- he just wants the best for you and for you to be healthy. Tell him over a glass of wine and a smile ! Show him your excitement !

I never thought of approaching the subject with excitement- I like that idea a lot! I always invisioned telling him with a sense of gloom or embarassment. But you are absoluetly 100% correct - I should show excitement because it is exciting that I am taking charge of this monkey that's been hanging on my back for most of my life- actually it's awesome that I have finally reached this stage at 48 yrs. old! I am not telling him this weekend because it's his birthday weekend- although next weekend is the big party for him- I am thinking after the party is over with. My friend's reaction was disappointing - I bet she never mentions another word about it.

[cheryl2586 3,053]

First of all why would you tell your best friend first and not your husband who is supposed to be your best friend. I would think he is more important than your best friend who doesnt even know what the lap band is

[Birinak 19]

Why don't you start the conversation with your husband like this. "Have you ever heard of the lapband surgery?" And just have a conversation about it. It might ease you into telling him more.

Yeah, but then how awkward would it be if he replies: "You mean that thing they put in your stomach? I think people who'd get that are mental!" or "I'm so glad you're not so weak to resort to that!" I think you should just start with: "Honey, you know how unhappy I've been with my weight. It's taken such a toll on my self-esteem. I want to be happy. I want to do something about my weight, I have a plan, and your support would mean everything to me."

[Spot 20]

First of all why would you tell your best friend first and not your husband who is supposed to be your best friend. I would think he is more important than your best friend who doesnt even know what the lap band is

Sometimes one should just keep their thoughts to themselves.

[Birinak 19]

Can't wait to find out what the second of all is. The first was such a gem. She didn't know that her bestfriend didn't "even know what the lap band is." And, she's already explained why she hasn't told her husband; she's anxious that he won't be supportive.

I agree that she should tell her husband, even if it turns out that he's not supportive. This is a major life decision and it's too difficult to hide from someone you live with. If (when) he finds out, and if it's already months after you've had the surgery, he's going to feel betrayed.

First of all why would you tell your best friend first and not your husband who is supposed to be your best friend. I would think he is more important than your best friend who doesnt even know what the lap band is

[NJGirl32 43]

Thanks for the back up support! I thought [/url]fluffytofabulous comment was very judgemental- and that's really not what this forum is about. My BF has been my BF for 40 years (since we were 8yrs. old) and she is more like a sister to me. All I can think of is maybe  fluffytofabulous doesn't have a BF that she is that close to-I don't know? Anyway- I really do appreciate the non judgemental feedback and support!