Grieving Period

[bostonlapband 0]

Hi, I am 11 days post-op (banded 4/7) and I was wondering if any of you went through a "grieving period," where you really upset that you could not eat the large quantities of food you ate before. For me it was Domino's pizza...I used to order a small and eat the whole thing and then half a breadstick. Now I look at pictures of it and have even cried over the possibility of restricting myself.

So far I have lost 24 pounds on my own and 19 pounds with the band. I really love the way I feel (granted being on a 2 week liquid diet). But did anybody...especially emotional eaters...ever actually grieve over the thought of not being able to eat in excess the junky fatty foods?

I know this is going to be an amazing change and I am so excited and thankful for my band and to be eating healthy...but I also feel right now that without food I feel incredibly vulnerable. Has anyone else experienced it? How have you dealt with it?

[Yacker 0]

Hello - I am still experiencing some grieving period depression coping with emotions that I don't get to eat away anymore. I am reading a really good book that is helping using Cognitive thinking. In it I listed all the miseries I have with being more than 200 lbs overweight and how almost 1 year of pre-surgery dieting I only lost 44lbs with still 200 to go. But that is exactly why I needed the surgery - I don't lose easily. I will still maybe experience some hunger all the time but its not as much as I did experience. I will still have to exercise at the pool but each pound loss will make it easier to get there and work out. My other alternative is to die. That is not a good alternative and good grief that food never really helped me. It wasn't really my friend. It brought me almost to my death bed. I had already resigned to that and with all that was in me I decided to fight. I went to a weight loss clinic, got weighed, started dieting, swimming and finally lost enough to have surgery 6 days ago. They said the band is a tool and I am going to "make it work for me."Email me

Hi, I am 11 days post-op (banded 4/7) and I was wondering if any of you went through a "grieving period," where you really upset that you could not eat the large quantities of food you ate before. For me it was Domino's pizza...I used to order a small and eat the whole thing and then half a breadstick. Now I look at pictures of it and have even cried over the possibility of restricting myself.

So far I have lost 24 pounds on my own and 19 pounds with the band. I really love the way I feel (granted being on a 2 week liquid diet). But did anybody...especially emotional eaters...ever actually grieve over the thought of not being able to eat in excess the junky fatty foods?

I know this is going to be an amazing change and I am so excited and thankful for my band and to be eating healthy...but I also feel right now that without food I feel incredibly vulnerable. Has anyone else experienced it? How have you dealt with it?

[kellyjoiii 19]

I am almost a year out and still grieve for my favorite foods. Geez, what I wouldn't do to eat a Big Mac, or even a cheeseburger from Mcdonalds. I don't eat their food anymore (not cause I don't want to, but because every time I throw up.) It does get better, with periods of wishing I could do it..but being that I am 80lbs down from a year ago...I take them in stride. I don't want to do it....only because it's what got me to getting the band in the first place. Do I slip up? All the time..more often than I care to or want to...but it is so hard to unlearn 37 years of bad eating habits. Take it one day at a time. pizza is not a no-no, but portions..have a salad with it. I can't eat pizza either..heck, there are a lot of things I can't eat, and still try with bad results. It's hard, but you will get past it, if it seems to be too much, try counseling. It helps, trust me. There are so many different things to deal with...and food is something we are around ALL the time. Eat to live, dont live to eat. And like I said, it does get a little better every day. Look what you have done for yourself, embrace your accomplishments...a lb....a dress size.....a better, healthier way of life. <3 Hang in there, Both of you!

K

Hello - I am still experiencing some grieving period depression coping with emotions that I don't get to eat away anymore. I am reading a really good book that is helping using Cognitive thinking. In it I listed all the miseries I have with being more than 200 lbs overweight and how almost 1 year of pre-surgery dieting I only lost 44lbs with still 200 to go. But that is exactly why I needed the surgery - I don't lose easily. I will still maybe experience some hunger all the time but its not as much as I did experience. I will still have to exercise at the pool but each pound loss will make it easier to get there and work out. My other alternative is to die. That is not a good alternative and good grief that food never really helped me. It wasn't really my friend. It brought me almost to my death bed. I had already resigned to that and with all that was in me I decided to fight. I went to a weight loss clinic, got weighed, started dieting, swimming and finally lost enough to have surgery 6 days ago. They said the band is a tool and I am going to "make it work for me."Email me

[trish151 33]

I have only grieved food one time. I was so ready for my band that I had to put things in my way for my success so that when I do feel a little down, I can still reward myself. I got some skinny cow ice cream. I got the fudge bars that only have 35 calories and the cream cycle ones only have 15 calories. Every once in a while when I am feeling like I need a little something then I will have one. I also keep sugar free candy on hand so that if I want something sweet after I eat then I can still get the taste. You might want to try something like that. My husband and son had pizza one night so I took my baby spoon and my husband let me take a bite of the sauce and the cheese and just the flavor was enough to satisfy me. I didn't want to take a chance on the bread.< /p>

I also went to reward myself when I was feeling a little blue by going and buying a new night gown. It feels sassy and is black and I really loved the feeling of getting into one that was two sizes smaller than I did going to eat some where. I also took a pair of size 12 jeans that I want to get into and tacked them on the wall in my work out room. Every time I go in there, I remember what I am working towards. I heard someone say to get a bathing suit the size you want to get into and tie it around the handle of the refridgerator. There are all kinds of things you can do to keep you moving in the right direction. It's ok to grieve for a moment but then get up and ask yourself what you can do for a reward replacement. I heard someone else talking on here also about a charm Bracelet. I went and started making me one the other day. I went to Hobby Lobby and they had all of their charms on sale for half price so I bought a whole bunch. Every time I loose 10 lbs, I put another charm on there. So far I have 3 and am well on my way to adding a 4th. Maybe you could do something like that too. Put your next charm on the refridgerator as a reminder that you get to add that next charm.

For me, a good motivator is that summer is coming and I want to be able to go and enjoy our vacation as a newer improved me. I may not be all of the way where I started but I am not at the beginning either. I am down 32 lbs and it is only mid April. My vacation is in Aug. Maybe you could make you a vacation jar and every time you feel like having a pizza or McDonalds, you could put in the money that you would have spent on food and put it in your vacation jar. Even if you don't go far from home, you could have it to go visit a friend to show them how your progress is doing. Then it could help keep you motivated because you know the date is getting closer. Even set yourself a date on when you would like to go and a goal where you would like to be.

It really helps to dangle our carrots out a little farther out than we can reach. When you reach your goal and date, set a new goal. God bless ya sunshine. We are going to make it this time.

[tntmom 1]

Hi, I am 11 days post-op (banded 4/7) and I was wondering if any of you went through a "grieving period," where you really upset that you could not eat the large quantities of food you ate before. For me it was Domino's pizza...I used to order a small and eat the whole thing and then half a breadstick. Now I look at pictures of it and have even cried over the possibility of restricting myself.

So far I have lost 24 pounds on my own and 19 pounds with the band. I really love the way I feel (granted being on a 2 week liquid diet). But did anybody...especially emotional eaters...ever actually grieve over the thought of not being able to eat in excess the junky fatty foods?

I know this is going to be an amazing change and I am so excited and thankful for my band and to be eating healthy...but I also feel right now that without food I feel incredibly vulnerable. Has anyone else experienced it? How have you dealt with it?

I have definitely gone through grieving periods. The first time was when I started on the liquid diet...I was pretty emotional. After surgery was another tough time, especially during the liquids only phase. Once I started feeling better I of course started eating more. Then one day I decided to make a home made potpie...it seemed innocent enough. I ate one piece..I think the crust got stuck. Three days later after not being able to eat and feeling terrible I went to the doctor for an unfill. The experience was slightly traumatic for me which maybe was a good thing because I think I has changed my view on food. Now when I even think about eating something I know I shouldn't I just remember that stuck episode. Yes...that pizza smells amazing but there is no way I want to risk getting stuck. It's like the saying: 'Once bitten, twice shy". Hopefully I learned my lesson?

[tnt21705 8]

Yes I am greiving for food too and I am only 7 days out. I just want to chew something...lol...

[Mommyto1 1]

I think early on it's more difficult to deal with the loss of indulging in your favorite foods. I'm an emotional eater and in the first few months post op, it was tough at times, to adjust to not being able to eat certain foods. My biggest issues are bread items. I have major issues with pizza, so now I just choose not to have it. At times, its difficult, but it's just not worth the discomfort of eating it.

[TerriF 9]

Just started the 48 hr liquid diet before surgery on Wed.

My husband has decided to do the greiving and his answer to that is eat his portion and what mine would have been.

I thought I would cook like I normally do and there would be good leftovers for him after surgery and I won't feel like it.

Ya right....used to be he and I would eat and there would be enough for his lunch the next day. I think he is doing this so I won't try to change him just because I am. But geaze give it a rest already....he will explode and I am not cooking for a few days atleast. So he can eat out or starve.

Thanks for letting me vent...LOL

[jennifer1 180]

i love the ideas you gave about the little rewards for 10 pounds lost. I'm getting banded on May20th and i am an emotional eater as well. So I will defininetly be looking for ways to satisfy those emotions. Thanks for sharing.

I have only grieved food one time. I was so ready for my band that I had to put things in my way for my success so that when I do feel a little down, I can still reward myself. I got some skinny cow ice cream. I got the fudge bars that only have 35 calories and the cream cycle ones only have 15 calories. Every once in a while when I am feeling like I need a little something then I will have one. I also keep sugar free candy on hand so that if I want something sweet after I eat then I can still get the taste. You might want to try something like that. My husband and son had pizza one night so I took my baby spoon and my husband let me take a bite of the sauce and the cheese and just the flavor was enough to satisfy me. I didn't want to take a chance on the bread.< /p>

I also went to reward myself when I was feeling a little blue by going and buying a new night gown. It feels sassy and is black and I really loved the feeling of getting into one that was two sizes smaller than I did going to eat some where. I also took a pair of size 12 jeans that I want to get into and tacked them on the wall in my work out room. Every time I go in there, I remember what I am working towards. I heard someone say to get a bathing suit the size you want to get into and tie it around the handle of the refridgerator. There are all kinds of things you can do to keep you moving in the right direction. It's ok to grieve for a moment but then get up and ask yourself what you can do for a reward replacement. I heard someone else talking on here also about a charm Bracelet. I went and started making me one the other day. I went to Hobby Lobby and they had all of their charms on sale for half price so I bought a whole bunch. Every time I loose 10 lbs, I put another charm on there. So far I have 3 and am well on my way to adding a 4th. Maybe you could do something like that too. Put your next charm on the refridgerator as a reminder that you get to add that next charm.

For me, a good motivator is that summer is coming and I want to be able to go and enjoy our vacation as a newer improved me. I may not be all of the way where I started but I am not at the beginning either. I am down 32 lbs and it is only mid April. My vacation is in Aug. Maybe you could make you a vacation jar and every time you feel like having a pizza or McDonalds, you could put in the money that you would have spent on food and put it in your vacation jar. Even if you don't go far from home, you could have it to go visit a friend to show them how your progress is doing. Then it could help keep you motivated because you know the date is getting closer. Even set yourself a date on when you would like to go and a goal where you would like to be.

It really helps to dangle our carrots out a little farther out than we can reach. When you reach your goal and date, set a new goal. God bless ya sunshine. We are going to make it this time.

[saundrac 1]

Hi, I am 11 days post-op (banded 4/7) and I was wondering if any of you went through a "grieving period," where you really upset that you could not eat the large quantities of food you ate before. For me it was Domino's pizza...I used to order a small and eat the whole thing and then half a breadstick. Now I look at pictures of it and have even cried over the possibility of restricting myself.

So far I have lost 24 pounds on my own and 19 pounds with the band. I really love the way I feel (granted being on a 2 week liquid diet). But did anybody...especially emotional eaters...ever actually grieve over the thought of not being able to eat in excess the junky fatty foods?

I know this is going to be an amazing change and I am so excited and thankful for my band and to be eating healthy...but I also feel right now that without food I feel incredibly vulnerable. Has anyone else experienced it? How have you dealt with it?

[gMommy 4]

I went through a greiving period a couple of months ago. I decided I needed to start working on my emotional eating before my band surgery on April 28th. I have been an emotional eater for as long as I can remember. I didn't realize how much I felt that food was my best friend. It was always there for me no matter what was bothering me. When I started avoiding my binge/trigger foods in February I started having a hard time with my feelings. A friend told me it was because I could finally "feel" my feelings. I was using food to escape reality so I didn't have to deal with my feelings. The food would help to numb me. Once I didn't have this help anymore, my feelings were almost overwhelming. Then I felt a desperate need for the food. I was on the verge of a panic attack. So, I decided to get out of my environment (my couch in front of the TV). I got in the car and went window shopping. Seeing all of the cute clothes I could look forward to wearing helped to make me to work through my feelings.

I had one night where I layed in bed crying for the loss of my best friend. The next day I felt a lot better. Then I realized what had happened. I had worked through my feelings! Whoa! So, that is how to do it!

So pat yourself on the back for greiving. It is healthy and normal.

[Dibley Dawn 84]

Yes, yes, yes...i am grieving and i haven't even been banded yet. my 2 week pre-op liquid diet begins tomorrow and my surgery is on may 4th...i am trying to be brave and tell myself that i'm gonna get through this and it'll be better, but i am a huge emotional eater (no pun intended), so i don't know how i'm going to deal with it. i will have to take it one day, one meal at a time. i'm just glad this forum is here. i don't think i would have even considered getting to this point had it not been for the support i have gotten here and the information that others have shared. so thankful for this place.

[jay150 5]

I am a little more than 2 months out and there are times I could definitely go for a bacon cheeseburger and mozz fries...lol, but I try to think of the long term --- and to be honest, there are a lot of things that I have been able to enjoy that I thought would be out of the question. I have had pizza (but instead of eating 3 or 4 slices, I have had one small slice). I've been able to eat a subway sandwich (slowly). I've even managed to eat out quite a bit and just force myself to make smart decisions. There are times when I think about what I used to eat and feel like I just want to take a huge bite of something and indulge myself, but then I reason with myself by saying that I can sample things in small amounts --- I just don't need to devour things like I used to in order to enjoy them....a small taste can be satisfactory without overdoing it. Eating for me has been a lot different than how I thought it would be....I was under the impression pre-surgery that I wouldn't be able to eat certain foods ever again and this actually scared me, but fortunately I have been able to tolerate just about everything in small doses (while watching calories/fat, etc. of course). I think the payoff will be worth it! food will still be enjoyable --- just in a normal way

[Wuptdo 0]

I feel your pain. It's been a week now since I've been banded. I want a Wolftown pizza (local joint) so bad, it makes my mouth Water just thinking about it. We were shopping yesterday at Sam's Club and I about lost it between the loss of my favorite 1/4 Hot Dog & Soda Combo and the smell of the chicken. I just left and stayed in the truck. The emotions are very similar to someone close that has died. food was my friend, and I miss it so. I made the mistake of watching the movie "Oliver" a few weeks back. Remember the scene when Oliver goes back up to the Master and ask, "please Sir, can I have some more?" Then all the kids break out singing and dancing about food, glorious food. That's the song that keeps popping up in my head. I thought I was better prepared mentally for this challenge, but it is hard. Just venting at his point. Thanks.

[HeatherinCA 10]

Yea, when I was on liquids.. but once i got on real food it started to go away. I don't feel weird at all now. If I want something I eat it... I just try to keep everything within reason