Seeing a councilor during long 100 +lb journey

[stratcat 10]

Hi friends, I am on a journey of nearly 150 lbs.

By the Grace of God, I was banded 2/15/11, had no serious problems and have lost 40 lbs. Second fill yesterday..... LIFE IS GOOD.

i am thinking of meeting with a psychologist on a monthly basis for the following reasons ---- I would appreciate your HONEST (Please TRY to be tactful) opinions.

SINCE, the average bander only loses 40% of their weight and I want to go the distance, I am looking for help and support. And I think part of the Key to succes is mental attitude. The more you believe in yourself and can visualize success the more likely you will succeed.

I fear that I will need some help along the way: Times will get tough, weight loss will slow down, our friends will disappoint us and say dumb things, and we will get weary of the sacrifices that it takes to lose weight.............not to mention that change is scary, and my BEST FRIEND - food is not there to help.

I have actually been given the name of a councilor who is banded herself. She does the pre lap bander psych evals for the hospital.. she seem like a good option.

Cost, time and effort, and bad advise are the downsides.

I have never been to a councilor. Will she/he be able to help me any more than just talking to (for example) my mom or a good friend?

[stratcat 10]

Will she/he be able to help me any more than just talking to (for example) my mom or a good friend?

OR as much as this web site. BIG THANKS TO ALL WHO MAKE THIS SITE SO GREAT.

[CheckYes 46]

Way more! Don't expect to only deal with weight loss though. Expect to dive in to everything that got you there in the first place. My therapist has become so much more to me than a sounding board. He is very important to my success.

[Llyra 3]

I meet with my long time counselor about every six weeks just to check in and tune up and make sure I'm not acting on any weird ideas. I highly recommend it, though I'd look for a counselor through a church, county mental health center, or community center since those places are usually cheaper than a psychiatrist. Some even work on a sliding scale structured to your income.

[Jachut 487]

It depends, some people are talkers and get great value of running personal stuff like this by a counsellor. Personally, I dont see value in it for myself, I know myself well, even if I'm not always honest with myself! I am quite reflective and I really dont get a lot out of talking to people in this sort of situation, they never say anything I've not already thought of, although for some, even having your own thoughts or feelings confirmed can be very helpful. So - really its a case of whether that's in your personality or not. For me, I usually know the answer to something but may not want to face it, and until I come around to my own conclusions, I dont really value the opinion of a stranger on the matter.

And my view on weight loss and overeating was basically that I didnt really care WHY I did it, or think it mattered why, I just had to stop it. I just had to learn to say no and I just had to get off the darn couch and go out and run. But that sort of in your face attitude is not for everyone and you may get great value out of talking - you know yourself best and if you think you'll get some benefit and want to get some benefit, you probably will. But its not the answer without your input, if that makes sense, nobody can really tell you the answer to these sorts of things.

[kll724 3,055]

I have not done the councilor bit, mostly because I am afraid to delve into stuff I don't want to bring up. If I felt that she/he would only touch the eating part, I would see one. I am like Jaquie, I know that I have other problems which cause me to to over eat.

I can control what goes into my mouth. I can work out most of my problems by thinking them out, and praying. I do belive in the power of prayer. But, I think, if you feel that you need to talk to someone, go for it! Karen

[spoiltmom 44]

Well I think it's a great idea and you can definitely reach your goal!

[Kalipso2 25]

i saw a therapist for years after i had a bad breakup with "the love of my life". i truly support the idea of talking to someone who can be 100% nonjudgemental. talking to family members and friends is nice but they can be judgemental at times. BUT therapy isn't easy. i cried all the time during my sessions because we were digging deep into my past but i knew i had to sort through all those feelings. i stopped therapy about 4 years ago and have thought about going back again to work through my issues with food. there is nothing shameful about wanting or needing help!!

[sparkplug 106]

OR as much as this web site. BIG THANKS TO ALL WHO MAKE THIS SITE SO GREAT.

I don't know where you heard that you only lose 40% of the weight. If I had been told that in the beginning, I would have never gone through the expense or life change of the band. I was banded 12/20/08 and have been maintaining the 90 pd loss, except for the 3 pds gained this winter. I have never felt better in my life even when I was 30 yrs younger. I am 58 and feel like 28 yrs old and my husband is afraid someone is going to steal me. ha ha. As far as the counselor, you do what you feel comfortable with and what works for you. I have not been back to my surgeon since the surgery and follow up visits, never had a fill and my insurance no longer covers the Dr that did the surgery and am having a hard time finding a replacement. Other than that I am happy as a lark and never regretted my decision in having the surgery. I have lost 100% of the weight I was hoping and praying to lose. I never thought I would or could get down to a size 10 again in my life but here I am. I have a couple of things in size 8 too. Keep positive, it is a long journey and you will slip up but do not let it get you down and pick yourself up and get going again. I do occasionally cheat a day and go back to basics of my routine and I walk every day at least 20-30 minutes. Good luck and welcome to the band world.

[Humming Bird 275]

If you are tossing around the idea of talking to someone about it on a regular basis, I think your mind is telling you the need to. The one you mentioned sounds like a good choice since she is banded. If you go a couple times and don't like how it is going, you can always go to someone else. You are right about attitude and success. I'm not sure where they get those low numbers like only taking off 40% of the excess weight. I've also heard 50-60%. In my experience, when proper restriction is met, I don't see how a person could not take off 100% unless they live on icecream and candy bars. Keep in mind that when you reach a BMI of 25 (normal), you have lost 100% of your excess weight. I see your goal is at 23.7 and when you get closer to that you may want to adjust your goal. I think your mindset and attitude sound great so far and you are well on your way to skinnyville!!!

[ElizabethNYC 1]

Good luck with everything!! I am too looking to drop over 100lbs. We can do this, and yes there are going to be set backs and hiccups but we can over come them. Again good luck and keep us posted.

[123crod 170]

Counseling? Yes, yes and yes!!

Cheri

[trish151 33]

I am licensed through my state as a drug and alcohol counselor and the first thing we learned as counselor's is that every counselor needs a counselor. Talking to someone you don't know is easier sometimes and the goal is to be able to admit things to yourself that you may be to embarassed to tell others. Sometimes we don't want to admit things to ourselves and a good counselor will help you through the process. I can also tell you that sometimes people don't always know things that are bothering them until you start asking them questions. The good thing about it is that if something is too painful for you to discuss, you are in charge and can choose if you go there or not but it may also give you food for thought. I can tell you that a few years ago I was losing weight on my own and doing good before my band. I had lost 73 lbs. Then one day my dad told me that my sister was coming for a visit and he warned me in advance that she had gained a lot of weight. He told me how much she weighed and I realized that I had lost so much that I weighed less than her. Something clicked in my head and even though I still wanted to lose some more weight, I started sabotaging myself and started gaining. No matter what I did, I couldn't get back on track. A few weeks ago, after I had my band, I was talking to that same sister and she told me how proud she was of me for having surgery and that she hoped I reached my goal. I was talking with another one of my counselor friends and she asked me if that sister had always been smaller than me. The answer was yes. Not only that, it was the same sister who used to constantly make fun of me when we were younger for being overweight as she was always naturally thin. I did not make the connection until then that subcontiously, I was putting weight back on when I heard she had lost because she had always been the smaller sister. Even though I am grown now, I had to work through the process and allow myself to be ok with my own decisions about being the best I can be, despite her weight issues. Now that I am aware of what is going on, it's not as much of a struggle any more.

[HeatherinCA 10]

I think it could help.. I'm just not sure. How are they going to mentally tell me to stop eating.. I mean for me, I just like food.. I don't think I'm hiding anything, and I didn't have a traumatic event in my life that caused my weight gain. I mean I think I can get through it myself. But if you feel you need it, go for it!

[Drasan 23]

I've recently been kicking around the idea of seeing a counselor or a behavior modification therapist.

I've seen a nutritionist off and on as recommended by my surgeon. I'm pretty confident knowing WHAT I am supposed to eat which doesn't mean that I've always done what I'm supposed to do, obviously. I wouldn't have needed the band if I could apply what I know. So I've wondered if my dollars might be better spent on psych counseling that might help me with the reasons why I don't always do what I know I should be doing. But I'm going to give it a little more time and this is why ....

After 1 year of not reaching restriction with the band, my surgeon finally gave me a fill under fluoroscopy. What a difference! I finally have restriction and I am unable to eat and eat and eat any longer. I'm hoping THIS is the behavior modification I originally sought when I decided to have band surgery,

I'm very hopeful and keeping my fingers crossed.

I believe in counseling. Been there, done it .. it works.