HELP...

[Rachel* 0]

Hey everyone. I'm 23 years old and from Wiscosnin.

Since coming to the decision of considering WLS i've been struggling on whether to do it or not. I have an appointment scheduled with a surgeon for an exam and it is creeping up upon me. Part of me is saying don't go..you can do this on your own. Which sometimes, I feel I can [do it on my own] but lately have been feeling more and more like a failure to my attempts of losing weight. I guess I look at myself as if I get WLS -I- will be a failure too. Though i've been dealing with my weight since a young age and feel like I can't experience anything in life because my weight holds me back.

Tonight I sat down and wrote a pro's & con's list on my desktop and came out with exactly 10 on each side. So, I ask other people for opinions; my husband stated that when he has any doubt about something in his mind and goes ahead and does it that he turns out to regret it. I don't know what to do. Somedays i'm 100% ready to go and do it. Other days it's 1%. Is this normal? Should I be questioning whether to get this surgery done?

Things that are holding me back:

Fills - I'm not a huge fan of needles..knowing i'm going to have to get this done kind of freaks me out

Band Slippage - I'm pretty sure I read this wasn't too common, but still terrifying to me. I like traveling out of country and it freaks me out that this could happen and I may not get the correct help I need. Not trying to sound ignorant, i'd be just be freaked out for someone to help in general if it was anyone but my doctor who did my surgery.

Not being able to have carbonated beverages - Soda I could really care less about. I'm young though and still like going out and drinking beer with my friends. I'm not a fan of liqour. I did read on the forums that this does seem to vary from person to person. The thought of never being able to have a beer or chug (yes..chug, lol) a beer with friends is kind of depressing! We don't drink often...once a week at the most, but I want to be able to do these things with my friends/husband.

Not being able to eat certain foods - I'm thinking this is more trial and error. To me, It's not really not being able to eat certain foods I think, it's more like, 'why should I have something in me to restrict me from eating something as simple as a sandwich.'

food getting stuck - This is a HUGE one that freaks me out. Pretty self-explanatory.

Excess Skin

*#1 THING* FAILING - I am terrified I will get the lap band and not lose anything. How embarssing would that be? Even surgery couldn't help me..

Another thing that concerns me is that I read most only lose around 40% of their excess weight. To me it is discouraging. Have a lot of people lost more than that?

To end on a happier not though--Things that encourage me to get this surgery are things like..Being healthier, Being able to travel, Going to water/theme parks, Shopping where I want, Being confident, Being active, Having a safe/enjoyable pregnancy in the future, not worrying if i'll fit in that chair, Oh and the best part? Being able to LIVE again.

I really appreciate all the answers/help I can get from people. This is a really tough time for me right now deciding on what is the right thing to do.

Thanks

[Swan56 6]

Rachel - all of the things you are feeling or thinking are normal. I'm pretty sure that most people that have had surgery thought all these things at some point. I, too, was scared to death. I had never had surgery before and that part worried me. And I don't know of anyone that is a fan of needles - but trust me, fills aren't bad. They're easy to work yourself up about but are over pretty quickly. The first time my stepdad mentioned surgery to me I was appauled. I didn't think that i needed surgery. I thought I was young enough that I should be able to do it on my own. But truth is, I have been trying on my own since I was about 13 (I'm 30 now). The idea grew on me over the years and finally I decided to check it out on my own.

But that's the point... it is your life, your decision. You have to decide if making changes for your health is worth it. Is giving up beer (even temporarily) worth it to make a better life for yourself? I, too, enjoyed having beer (& wings) with my friends. I wasn't much into liquor or wine. I also really liked caffienated drinks. I work nights and questioned being about to survive (or stay awake lol) without them. I had surgery the end of December... I haven't had a beer in 4 months. I haven't had a soda in 4 months. Sure, sometimes I still want one but I haven't chosen that route yet. I have had a mixed drink here or there, or maybe a glass of wine but I haven't figured out that my weight loss really slows when I do so I pretty much avoid it. That's not to say that I won't ever have a beer again - I may try one when i get much closer to goal. But for now, i'm sticking to the plan.

For me, giving up these things were far less important that being able to live a long, healthy life. If you're not willing to make the sacrifices as part of it, maybe it's not a good time for the band for you. Many people lose weight on the own, successfully. I didn't. I want to live - to be able to shop anywhere, to cross my legs, to see my collar bones, simple things... all of these things motivate me.

If you're a prayer - pray about it. If you're not, then just be honest with yourself. Are you really contemplating not having the surgery because you're afraid or because you really believe you don't need it? Go to the meeting, see what the doctor has to say. A consultation visit never hurt anyone.

This decision has to be yours. It has to be one you're willing to work for. One you're willing to sacrifice for... because it will change your life. I'm four months in and I'm very happy with my decision. My family and friends that know about it are very supportive. The band isn't a cure all... it won't just fix you. It's work and it's not you saying you're a failure. Just make sure that your decision is your own. And if you decide this isn't right for you, you'll make that work for you as well.

Good luck in your decision.

[cheryl2586 3,053]

So you wrote all the things you didnt like about it. Is there anything you do like? It seems now is not the right time for you if you have so many issues that you dont want to deal with. As far as fills go it does not hurt. As far as slippage yeah it happens but not that much. Drinking beer with your friends you would rather stay obese and drink beer. No you are not ready because the things you listed are not that much to give up to be healthy.

[ElfiePoo 109]

Fills

My fills were over and done in less than 30 seconds and it didn't hurt any more than accidentally stabbing myself with a pin when quilting. It's nothing like getting an injection of an antibiotic.

Band Slippage

Band slippage is rare. Most surgeons now tuck a fold of stomach over the band (sort of like an elastic waistband) to hold the band in place. The people most at risk for band slippage are those who get their bands so tight that they are getting stuck and throwing up the offending item on a frequent (several times daily) basis.

Not being able to have carbonated beverages

It is a myth that drinking carbonated beverages will expand your pouch and recommendations vary by surgeon. Some say 'never'. Others, like mine, had no restrictions after the first month. Whether or not you can tolerate them...well, that's something you'll have to find out. I like the Faygo carbonated pink grapefruit Water and I drank it several times a week. Only once did I have a problem and that was because I took a big gulp. I 'oversploded' as my son used to say. So your chugging days are most likely over.

Not being able to eat certain foods

I had this problem when I was overfilled. When my surgeon heard I couldn't eat certain foods and had at least one stuck episode a day despite following the rules (small bites, chew well, no drinking with meals), he said I was too tight. That was when I learned I was not looking for physical restriction but cessation of hunger. He took almost 3cc's out. Bingo. Now I could eat anything I wanted as long as I followed the rules.

food getting stuck

Well there's no guarantee this won't happen even if you do follow the rules and your band isn't overfilled since the band can tighten and loosen on its own. However, if you start your meal with a hot drink, that seems to help loosen the band. I would always take a small bite, chew well and then wait to see what happened. Sometimes it would go down hard...meaning it didn't get stuck but I knew if I continued, I likely would. You learn to listen to your band.

Excess Skin

Can't help you there. It is what it is but you can cover excess skin up with clothing. Nothing covers up the fat.

*#1 THING* FAILING

Failing is never even trying. So you get the band and you find it's not the right method for you. At least you tried...and you'll never know unless you try.

You listed some good reason to at least try. Focus on them instead of the fears.

.

[kll724 3,055]

Fills

My fills were over and done in less than 30 seconds and it didn't hurt any more than accidentally stabbing myself with a pin when quilting. It's nothing like getting an injection of an antibiotic.

Band Slippage

Band slippage is rare. Most surgeons now tuck a fold of stomach over the band (sort of like an elastic waistband) to hold the band in place. The people most at risk for band slippage are those who get their bands so tight that they are getting stuck and throwing up the offending item on a frequent (several times daily) basis.

Not being able to have carbonated beverages

It is a myth that drinking carbonated beverages will expand your pouch and recommendations vary by surgeon. Some say 'never'. Others, like mine, had no restrictions after the first month. Whether or not you can tolerate them...well, that's something you'll have to find out. I like the Faygo carbonated pink grapefruit Water and I drank it several times a week. Only once did I have a problem and that was because I took a big gulp. I 'oversploded' as my son used to say. So your chugging days are most likely over.

Not being able to eat certain foods

I had this problem when I was overfilled. When my surgeon heard I couldn't eat certain foods and had at least one stuck episode a day despite following the rules (small bites, chew well, no drinking with meals), he said I was too tight. That was when I learned I was not looking for physical restriction but cessation of hunger. He took almost 3cc's out. Bingo. Now I could eat anything I wanted as long as I followed the rules.

food getting stuck

Well there's no guarantee this won't happen even if you do follow the rules and your band isn't overfilled since the band can tighten and loosen on its own. However, if you start your meal with a hot drink, that seems to help loosen the band. I would always take a small bite, chew well and then wait to see what happened. Sometimes it would go down hard...meaning it didn't get stuck but I knew if I continued, I likely would. You learn to listen to your band.

Excess Skin

Can't help you there. It is what it is but you can cover excess skin up with clothing. Nothing covers up the fat.

*#1 THING* FAILING

Failing is never even trying. So you get the band and you find it's not the right method for you. At least you tried...and you'll never know unless you try.

You listed some good reason to at least try. Focus on them instead of the fears.

.

I agree with everything you just said, Elfiepoo! I had band slippage, but it did not come all of a sudden. I had weeks of GERD. But, even with that, my surgeon said I cam ein quick enough that he only ha dto remove the fill for 1 month and it went back in shape. I now have a fill again. Good luck, I think that the positives, outweigh the negative. Karen

[stateofzen 46]

First, I think you should take your time deciding. This is something that you don't have to do today, or tomorrow, so make sure you're 90% confident in your decision before you do it (there is always some doubt, even in the highly motivated- that's normal).

I don't know if, at 23, I would have been motivated to succeed in the same way that I am now. My life was just very different then-- going out with friends was a much bigger portion of my lifestyle than it is now. That said, I know reverie is a young and successful bandster so you may be more like her than me

To address some of your points:

Fills-- unless you are truly phobic of needles, I seriously wouldn't worry about it. My doc uses a numbing something or other and the needle feels like pressure- no pain for me at all. I just don't look at it and it doesn't bother me Some people have issues with finding the port, so I know that the experience CAN be worse for some people, however, the no-pain/no-problem fill experience seems to be more common.

Band Slippage-- yep, that's scary. But it happens in 5% of cases and it does seem to be associated with band abuse; either being too tight and thus vomiting a lot, or perhaps with continued over-eating after band placement (I'm a little less sure about that one). It could happen. But it's against the odds.

Carbonated beverages-- this is the thing I was most upset about pre-surgery. Post-surgery-- it is seriously no big deal. Look, I used to have a major Diet DP addiction and I LOVE beer. But, weighed against obesity, it was no contest. Giving it up ended up being a total piece of cake. I'm really surprised now about how much I cared before. However, that said, I'm 35 and my drinking is almost entirely about taste and enjoyment and is not as much about socializing and social lubricant as it was when I was in my twenties. Not that there is anything wrong with that! But it would have been mentally harder for me then, I do think. Now I drink wine and some liquor (mostly wine). Since wine is my favorite alcoholic beverage anyway, this worked out for me.

Not Being Able to Eat Certain Foods-- This one seems to vary greatly. The tighter the band (in general), the more this is an issue. My band is not tight-- it is just enough to allow me to have less hunger and hunger satiation with smaller portions of food but it doesn't STOP me from eating. I can still overeat if I don't put my fork down. So I do have to exercise some self-control, but in trade, I can eat pretty much everything. I've never been stuck. I've never PB'ed, slimed, or vomited. And here's hoping I never do!

Excess Skin-- You're young. I bet this would mostly take care of itself. In any case, to me, it's no less attractive than fat and you can hide skin with clothes. I don't love the excess skin. But, it's 1000 times better than where I was before.

Failing-- This is where dedication comes in. This is where education about what you TRULY can expect and not expect from the band comes in. This is where educating yourself on what you will have to bring to the table comes in. There are some people who the band doesn't work for. There are more people who don't work the band, and there are the most people who significantly reduce their excess weight and become healthier.

I will tell you, though, that 40-60% of excess weight lost is the average. My surgeon was very clear during the education process that if you were going into this expecting to be skinny at the end, you were setting yourself up for disappointment. The odds are, you will not lose all of the weight you want to. The odds are, you might even still be overweight when all is said and done. You should be aware of that, and be ready to accept it as a possibility should you go through with WLS of ANY kind.

That said, just as there are some people who don't lose anything, there are some people who lose everything. It's probably a combination of luck and motivation. I've beaten the odds so far-- I've lost 73% of my excess weight and I'm still losing, but I don't know if I'll make it to my goal of "normal BMI". We'll see! But I do believe that I've been pretty lucky because 2 small fills have gotten me to my sweet spot, my body is cooperating me despite my copious wine consumption and relative lack of exercise to this point, and I haven't had complications to struggle with.

[luckyfive101 6]

Everyone has to make this decision... it is very personal! I can tell you the ONE REGRET I HAVE.. not doing it when I was younger! I was 51 when I had my surgery, had battled my weight ALL MY LIFE.. I still have 40 pounds to go, but have lost 90! Believe me, you WILL NOT REGRET IT! I would do it again in a heartbeat!

Yes, there are pros and cons. I have a husband who married me heavy and has supported/loved me through all my battles and at every weight! But I was recently able to walk 5 miles with my 12-year-old granddaughter, and she had trouble keeping up! Life is good! Don't waste it on a couch! I had trouble fitting into plane seats (fit but barely) and was so ashamed to get on the "multiple-person scales" at Dollywood for the rides thinking people would "figure out" how much I weighed (like they couldn't already see that I was overweight)! The heat really bothered me when we took vacations, went on cruise, etc. I was active, but very conscientious about my weight. Life is too short...

Good luck in whatever you decide! God Bless and keep you! Congrats on the start of you new life with hubby!

Hey everyone. I'm 23 years old and from Wiscosnin.

Since coming to the decision of considering WLS i've been struggling on whether to do it or not. I have an appointment scheduled with a surgeon for an exam and it is creeping up upon me. Part of me is saying don't go..you can do this on your own. Which sometimes, I feel I can [do it on my own] but lately have been feeling more and more like a failure to my attempts of losing weight. I guess I look at myself as if I get WLS -I- will be a failure too. Though i've been dealing with my weight since a young age and feel like I can't experience anything in life because my weight holds me back.

Tonight I sat down and wrote a pro's & con's list on my desktop and came out with exactly 10 on each side. So, I ask other people for opinions; my husband stated that when he has any doubt about something in his mind and goes ahead and does it that he turns out to regret it. I don't know what to do. Somedays i'm 100% ready to go and do it. Other days it's 1%. Is this normal? Should I be questioning whether to get this surgery done?

Things that are holding me back:

Fills - I'm not a huge fan of needles..knowing i'm going to have to get this done kind of freaks me out

Band Slippage - I'm pretty sure I read this wasn't too common, but still terrifying to me. I like traveling out of country and it freaks me out that this could happen and I may not get the correct help I need. Not trying to sound ignorant, i'd be just be freaked out for someone to help in general if it was anyone but my doctor who did my surgery.

Not being able to have carbonated beverages - Soda I could really care less about. I'm young though and still like going out and drinking beer with my friends. I'm not a fan of liqour. I did read on the forums that this does seem to vary from person to person. The thought of never being able to have a beer or chug (yes..chug, lol) a beer with friends is kind of depressing! We don't drink often...once a week at the most, but I want to be able to do these things with my friends/husband.

Not being able to eat certain foods - I'm thinking this is more trial and error. To me, It's not really not being able to eat certain foods I think, it's more like, 'why should I have something in me to restrict me from eating something as simple as a sandwich.'

food getting stuck - This is a HUGE one that freaks me out. Pretty self-explanatory.

Excess Skin

*#1 THING* FAILING - I am terrified I will get the lap band and not lose anything. How embarssing would that be? Even surgery couldn't help me..

Another thing that concerns me is that I read most only lose around 40% of their excess weight. To me it is discouraging. Have a lot of people lost more than that?

To end on a happier not though--Things that encourage me to get this surgery are things like..Being healthier, Being able to travel, Going to water/theme parks, Shopping where I want, Being confident, Being active, Having a safe/enjoyable pregnancy in the future, not worrying if i'll fit in that chair, Oh and the best part? Being able to LIVE again.

I really appreciate all the answers/help I can get from people. This is a really tough time for me right now deciding on what is the right thing to do.

Thanks