Feeling like a failure...need suggestions/friends/help!!

[Esposito37 2]

Petunia-I appreciate your blunt honesty on this matter. there are a couple of things to say about it. First of all, you were not banded yet. If/when you are banded you will learn that it is MUCH easier said than done. The people that get banded do because they are having a difficult time losing weight. A lot of people (me included) have a warped perception of the band. It IS a TOOL not an easy way out. You need to make an ENTIRE life change which is what a lot of us have trouble with in the first place. The exercise and the dieting is still the main component. no one, including doctors come right out and tell you that. They tell you that you need to change it, they make it as important as it obviously is. Yes it will help you to not eat as much but at this point, if you eat slow enough and certain foods you can still eat the same amt at that you were previous to the band. I hope for your sake that it is as easy as you think it is because like you said, it is a procedure where you risk your life. Having the knowledge and following it are two totally different things. I am a nurse and definitely know what to be doing and what the risk are of going through my life the way I am. I am still young which is why i chose this route. I need the type of tough love that can be supportive as well. As far as "putting on my big girl pants" I agree with June May-we DID put them on which is why we chose to have this procedure in the first place. This forum is for SUPPORT which is why most of us come on here. While a lot of what you said was truthful it was not very SUPPORTIVE. I hope that everything works out the way you THINK it will but if it doesnt, you will need support and the people on here provide that. No one is perfect.

[Esposito37 2]

Don't give up!!! First, maybe you need to find a better doctor or at least one that can better understand your position. Second, how can you drink right before, during, or right after you eat? If I even attempt to drink I am sooooo sick!!!! Are you sure your band if full enough? I had surgery in Feb and I am getting ready to have my 4th fill. I have lost almost 30lbs and I rarely throw up. Is your band too big? The bands come in several sizes and if it was too big to start no matter how many fills you have done it will never be tight enough. I love my doctor and everyone in his office. Everyone in office has the surgery or is getting ready to have the surgery. I look to them for support and guidance. I think that may be very helpful in your situation. You are right in that no one is perfect and if we had all the answers we would not have needed to have the surgery in the first place!!!!! Hang in there girl and NEVER give up hope!!!!

[mattie7632 24]

Of course you can!!! Did you read your own post? You STOPPED DIETING so you gained weight!! When it's spelled out like that, I'm not sure exactly WHAT said $20k band does since it only works WHEN you are dieting! LOL

I've decided the band is largely the placebo affect! I guess I'm okay with that since I have lost weight.....but it does make me wonder what's in store for long term

i would just like to day ...i feel ya!!! i was banded in 2007....lost 97lbs right away... in 10 months... then one day... i stopped DIETING...yes DIETING.... i wasnt having any sugar...or carbs.... i was on atkins.... now that i've stopped....i've gained back 50lbs...... i have no will power and am in need of support..... anyone thinking this is easy is full of it....it all still boils down to.....eating less sugar and carbs and calories...excercising.... thats the trick... as far as another fill cant have one...its almost all removed..still have night coughs... and i have esophigial ulcers from throwing up so much....ugh ..... help....i hate to be a crybaby but i'm addicted to bad foods!!!!!!! the easy ones ..... still throw up very often...and only have .5 in my 10 cc band.... i cant blame the band thats for sure... i'm a failure and eat the wrong things

[Sbaillie 0]

Hi Everyone. This is my first time posting. I had my band surgery last September. At first I lost 20lbs but then it stopped. A lot has happened in my life since then and I know it is my mental state. I lost my job and I am so unsure of what to do next. My son came home just before Christmas and told me that he had been doing heroin for two years. In truth, i just turned to food for comfort. Sugar is my biggest problem and it is just like any other addiction. I have had 4 fills but none recently. My band experience has been really good. I have never thrown up. I do have food stuck occasionally but it is when I am eating too fast and not thinking about chewing properly. Reading all of your posts has helped a lot and I am going to call today to schedule a fill. I have stopped eating sugar for the last 2 weeks. I think I need to go back on the liquid diet for a couple of days to get my portion sizes back under control. I have been avoiding people because I know they are judging me just like some of you mentioned. Why hasn't she lost anything? I am back to what I weighed before the band, I haven't been taking my Vitamins, I have been drinking with my meals and I haven't counted protien in months. It is so sad how we sabotage ourselves. I think I need some counseling! Thanks for sharing your stories.

[lisafitz 18]

Today was not a great day for some reason I wanted bread I had a tuna sandwich on a yummy roll took me an hour to eat but I did. Then I had half a piece of a candy bar ugh I feel like a fatty. I was doing so good. I hope that it's over and my craving is done.

I still don't know how I ate the roll and didn't puke it, which I usually do if I eat anything like that. Now if I tried it tomorrow yes I will puke.

Well I am not hungry at all and still full from 1pm today and it's almost 6pm so there will be no dinner and I will have a smoothie if I do get hungry. They fill me up. frozen fruit greek yogurt Water a splenda and a banana that's my smoothie.

Tomorrow I shall do better no eating bread. lets hope.

[CarrieRN2006 1]

Honestly I have no idea how I drink with my band...It just works. occasionally when I do, it causes me to get sick but mostly I am fine. There are multiple reasons why i am not successful. The first is the obvious of not following the rules. Secondly my follow ups were here and there after the first year...mostly my fault. But as far as my doctor-he abandoned me. I saw him in Oct and he was like we can do this blah blah blah...I want to see you next month. Then like a week later I got a letter in the mail that he left and was replaced. I failed to make an appointment like a dumby and just kept pushing it off until now. I hope that I can get back on track. Thank you for your support and good luck to you

sbaillie-Welcome to the forum! I am glad you turned to other banders for support! Congrats on your giving up sugar-regular pop is my downfall...I am weaning myself back off of it! It is so hard when you have these little voices in your head thinking everyone is judging you. I know i am so guilty of it! I know that everyone I care about is super supportive but I still cant get those darn voices out of there! I seriously need to get back to where I was immediately post surgery and I have been doing a lot of reading on this new website according to eggface that someone early suggested. she is amazing. She has SO many recipes and so many different ways to incorporate your Protein whether its food or shakes. You should check it out. I hope your son is ok and good luck to you! Keep in touch!

[grandy 0]

i would just like to day ...i feel ya!!! i was banded in 2007....lost 97lbs right away... in 10 months... then one day... i stopped DIETING...yes DIETING.... i wasnt having any sugar...or carbs.... i was on atkins.... now that i've stopped....i've gained back 50lbs...... i have no will power and am in need of support..... anyone thinking this is easy is full of it....it all still boils down to.....eating less sugar and carbs and calories...excercising.... thats the trick... as far as another fill cant have one...its almost all removed..still have night coughs... and i have esophigial ulcers from throwing up so much....ugh ..... help....i hate to be a crybaby but i'm addicted to bad foods!!!!!!! the easy ones ..... still throw up very often...and only have .5 in my 10 cc band.... i cant blame the band thats for sure... i'm a failure and eat the wrong things

I totally understand how you feel. I easily lost 60 lbs. during the preop, post op and a few months thereafter (banded in 12/09). I have since failed miserably and am eating as much as I did before. I have never felt differently after fills and have had 8 or 9. I don't know how much fill I have because the nurse refuses to tell me, but the dietician tells me I don't have very much. Let's just get back on the diet and try again; you are not a crybaby...we just need to support each other. this is a lifelong journey. We will help each other!

Grandy