5 stages of grief

[tookie 1]

Is it possible to mourn the loss of your fat? Or am I just going through normal mood swings. I am 5 days post op and today I was angry wanting to have this "thing" taken out of me. Now I am just back to the pain in my shoulder. Experiencing different kids of emotions, I guess I expected to just be happy with this new journey, does not seem to working out that way. Really miss food, was on Protein diet for two weeks. Today my son was eating popcorn, it smelled sooo good. I took a bite, chewed it and spit it out, that seemed to satisfy my craving but still feel like I cheated:)

[Jennifer W 1]

I'm 3 days post op and it seems like everyday gets harder. I am dying for something substantial to eat, anything other than liquids. I did eat a yogurt yesterday, i ate so slow it took me a whole hour. I felt like I wanted to cry when I went to the mall today and could smell all the food. Usually my husband and I would go out to dinner on a Friday night, but since there's nothing I can eat I don't think we'll be doing that. I am still having alot of gas pressure in my stomach, walking actually seems to make it worst. I'm going back to work on Tuesday, sure hope I'm better by then.

[CheckYes 46]

I know I was surprised at what emotions I had when I wasn't able to use food to stuff them back down. It's normal to have feelings about what you have done. Just be gentle with yourself and try not to judge yourself. We are our own worst critics.

[tookie 1]

I'm 3 days post op and it seems like everyday gets harder. I am dying for something substantial to eat, anything other than liquids. I did eat a yogurt yesterday, i ate so slow it took me a whole hour. I felt like I wanted to cry when I went to the mall today and could smell all the food. Usually my husband and I would go out to dinner on a Friday night, but since there's nothing I can eat I don't think we'll be doing that. I am still having alot of gas pressure in my stomach, walking actually seems to make it worst. I'm going back to work on Tuesday, sure hope I'm better by then.

SOrry to hear of your suffering but at the same time glad I am not the only one. Yesterday was my husbands birthday, still got him a cake and a delicious dinner. Yes I know about the tears just being right there. I go back on Tuesday as well, hopefully the gas will be gone by then:)

[tookie 1]

I know I was surprised at what emotions I had when I wasn't able to use food to stuff them back down. It's normal to have feelings about what you have done. Just be gentle with yourself and try not to judge yourself. We are our own worst critics.

Talk about a lightbulb moment, you are absolutely correct about emotions that were previously "stuffed down" with food now are coming out in the strangest ways (ie anger). and yes we are our own worst critics.

[CheckYes 46]

You guys! I remember the early stages and how alone it feels. It gets better every day. You will be able to enjoy dinners with your husband and you will enjoy food again. Hang in there!

[wcsxjim 0]

Is it possible to mourn the loss of your fat? Or am I just going through normal mood swings. I am 5 days post op and today I was angry wanting to have this "thing" taken out of me. Now I am just back to the pain in my shoulder. Experiencing different kids of emotions, I guess I expected to just be happy with this new journey, does not seem to working out that way. Really miss food, was on Protein diet for two weeks. Today my son was eating popcorn, it smelled sooo good. I took a bite, chewed it and spit it out, that seemed to satisfy my craving but still feel like I cheated:)

You're not alone! I had my lap band put in a week ago Thursday...and everyday is a grind. I'm having to remind myself why I got this surgery in the first place, how I wound up here and what the goal is. Keep strong, know that you're NOT alone...and it's a shared experience with your friends on here (even the bad stuff..lol). We'll get through this and be better for it!

[Dave_NW 92]

All these emotions you're feeling are completely normal. We have a relationship with food, whether good or bad, and bandng really turns that upside down. Adding the physical device to your stomach doesn't instantly change how you feel in your head about food. That mental adjustment needs to come from you, and you'll find your attitude about food, and your attachment to it, will change over time. Hang tough - it does get easier. (And when you come to the realization that it was your relationship with food that made you obese to begin with, it'll be easier to make the mental adjustment about how to relate to food post-banding.)

In the three weeks I stayed home from work after my surgery I was on a liquid-only diet, healing not only from banding, but also from a hiatal hernia and ventral hernia repair they did during the band surgery. I was a mess. I laid in bed sipping nasty Protein shakes and Water, and watched cooking shows on TV, imagining how it would be to be stuffing myself with all that greasy, excessive mountains of food Guy What'shisname eats everywhere on Diners DriveIns and Dives. At first I was jealous that he could eat those things and I couldn't. As the weeks went on I found myself not wanting those things so much. And now I see them and think how interesting it is to see how the foods are prepared, but I'm astounded that people can eat that volume of food in one sitting. I'd like a taste of them, but I have no desire to eat the whole thing, whatever it is.

I'm four months postop, and I'm well on my way to my goal. I'm very happy wth my results so far. But I am by no means a slave to my band. I eat "real" food, and I eat in restaurants frequently. I'm not much of a cook, so I rely on others to do the cooking. It's very manageable with a band, if you keep your wits about you. Example: I went to Olive Garden the other night with friends. I ordered their "Steak Toscano" entree, with steamed vegetables instead of potatoes. It's a 12 ounce steak, prepared wonderfully, and it came with a bunch of steamed broccoli. I ate about a third of the steak at the restaurant, and I had the other two-thirds over two more meals. I was able to socialize with my friends, had a nice restaurant experience, and I enjoyed my meal - three times.

Give yourself a chance to heal up, and once you're starting back on solid foods you'll see how your relationship to food changes. I even discovered my taste buds had to be retrained. Things taste differently now that I'm not packing it in. I actually have time to enjoy the flavors of what I'm eating, instead of mindlessly devouring my way through a mountain of food on my plate, thinking the whole time about what to have for dessert.

Good luck!

Dave

[bnwalker23 0]

It was so hard for me when i first got the band. I regretted getting it, and was a little depressed. It does get easier, but not completely. I'm 19 and going out with my friends is hard, they're scarfing down breads sticks and burgers, while i slowly eat a salad. Also my mom has the band to, so while she's going through the same thing i am, my dad will be sitting there shoveling food down. I actually catch myself just staring at him, missing when i could do that. But then i realize, well i got this band so I didn't do that and so that I could be healthier. Its tough but we did this for a reason, and the outcome is better than being able to eat fast and whatever we want.

[Jenn1214 120]

I had the same feelings after I was banded. I was majorly depressed and wondering what the heck I did to myself. The worst was watching other people eat in front of me. I was constantly on the verge of tears. Now that I'm getting to solids and I watch how fast everybody eats, I am frankly amazed that I used to be able to eat like that! It takes me about three times as long to eat a quarter of what they are eating. A month post op, I am starting to care about food less and less. I usually only think about it when my stomach starts to growl or I know it's time for me to eat. Before the surgery I thought about food 24/7. Often I was thinking about my next meal while eating the current one! The band has definitely changed my relationship with food for the better, and I can honestly say I'm starting not to miss food. I never thought I would ever be able to say that!

[tookie 1]

Thanks for the posts, they were very supportive and reminded me I am only 1 week post op (tomorrow will be a week) and have some time to adjust. Glad to hear Olive Garden is still an option (at some point). I just have to look at my two boys to remind me of why I am doing this