Second guessing myself!!

[jlrbsr1 0]

Here I am less than a week away from being banded. Something I have worked really hard to get to. So, why am I second guessing this decision I thought I had already made. I am so confused right now. No one that understand to talk to about it. Is this normal to have second thought at the last minuite? What about all the "what if's?" Any advice is very much welcome. Are all these thoughts normal?

[CheckYes 46]

Totally normal. It will be ok. You said yourself that you worked hard to make this happen. Trust yourself.

[pamela3782 17]

Here I am less than a week away from being banded. Something I have worked really hard to get to. So, why am I second guessing this decision I thought I had already made. I am so confused right now. No one that understand to talk to about it. Is this normal to have second thought at the last minuite? What about all the "what if's?" Any advice is very much welcome. Are all these thoughts normal?

I too am a week away from surgery and the answer to your question is YES! My original surgery date was April 27th and the called me a few days ago and asked me if I could do it on the 15th. Although it is only a difference of 12 days I went into panic mode!!! I took a day to really mull it over and then thought about all of the goals I have set for myself by getting this surgery and that helped me work through my moment of craziness. My advice to you is to get a pen and piece of paper and write down everything that you plan to accomplish with your surgery. The possibilities are endless and I'm fairly sure you will be as excited as I am now.

now I'm not saying that all of these will pertain because I don't know your individual situation but here are a few off of my list:

-being able to walk into any store I want to and pick out clothing that I like instead of just what fits

-not being so socially awkward (ie. food shopping, going out to dinner, going to the beach, going to a bar ect.)

-being a healthy person without such great risks due to being overweight

-the positive compliments you will receive from people

That's just to name a few. I wish you all the success in the world and if you ever need to talk feel free to message me. It's only up from here!!!

[slm2007 7]

I am due to be banded on 4/18....you are NOT alone...here is my conversation with myself last night while drying my hair:

I'm looking at myself in the mirror.......

"are you sure you want to do this? This is going to be such a huge change to your life, are you sure you are ready for the 'after life'. Can you handle the pain, the changes? Are you ready to give up your lifestyle as it is. What about all the food you love? Why are you putting yourself through this. Everyone tells you that you can do it without the band. Maybe give it one more shot that way and not resort to surgery."

I say back to myself

"NO, jackass (that's what I call myself when I'm mad at my thoughts), you can't do it alone. You've lost the weight time and time again only to gain back more and more and more. You can lose it but you can't keep it off. Look how hard you have worked to get to this point. You had to dedicate yourself to changes. Why did you even start this if you aren't ready to do it. DO you want to look like this forever? Don't you want to be IN the pictures again instead of being the one who takes them all the time. Are you happy with how you are? Are you happy with who you are? Are you happy in general? Do you want to be healthy to play with your son and be around for your son? Do you want to make him proud to call you his mom? Why does food have such a meaning to you? What makes it so special? What is more important, a stupid hamburger or fitting into a rollercoaster seat so you can enjoy the amuzement park with your child. What is more important, stuffing yourself at Thanksgiving or having a healthy heart so you can see your child graduate high school, get married, raise his own children? Don't you just want to get out of the ugly fat clothes!"

I know what I must do and I'm going to do it. Yes, I'm scared, not of the surgery but my life after. But I know that I must do it for ME and I'm finally, finally ready to gain control. I need to do this to be healthy and HAPPY again. I think that part of the reason I love food so much is because it is my comfort because I'm fat and unhappy....the cycle, If I were happy with myself maybe i wouldn't need to the food to make me happy, and the food is making me fat which causes me to be unhappy! I'm tired of making jokes about myself so that others don't do it first....

You have to be ready, and if you have done the work then most likely are. It is scary and I probably bet almost everyone who has had any surgery second guesses it at some point (before and after), but a lot of them would do it all over again. I'm excited for my new healthy happy life to begin...it's going to be hard getting there but this life isn't working for me anymore and probably it isn't working for you if you are even considering the surgery. This is a huge decision.....and people who think we just decide one day to have surgery to have an "easy way out" have NO IDEA what goes inside of our hearts and heads and how much we struggle before (and after) surgery. This is huge....and you wouldn't have come this far if you weren't ready.

I had my surgery scheduled for May, and they had to reschedule it because the surgeon was going out of town. They moved it up to April 18th - a month earlier and I literally had a panic attack. I was sweating at the thought of getting it done sooner. I guess it was because I had less time to mentally prepare....although I've been preparing since July for this....I'm still scared and I second guess it all the time but I'm going through with it....start my liquid diet on Wednesday....

Good luck to you...good luck to all of us.

[ElizabethNYC 1]

It is 110% normal. My nurse practitioner told me this and it's stuck with me ever since "You're going to second guess yourself because this is an elective surgery and something that doesn't absolutely need to be done". And it's true I think that's why everyone has second thoughts or gets so nervous. You're all going to do great, good luck!!!

[slm2007 7]

It is 110% normal. My nurse practitioner told me this and it's stuck with me ever since "You're going to second guess yourself because this is an elective surgery and something that doesn't absolutely need to be done". And it's true I think that's why everyone has second thoughts or gets so nervous. You're all going to do great, good luck!!!

I said something like this to a friend of mine when I told her I was second guessing myself and I said "after all this is an elective surgery and not something I have to do" - she freaked out on me.

She said to me (cutting and pasting her email to me)......"This is not "just" an elective surgery! This is a life altering surgery. You have struggled with this since before you and I became friends. You are a beautiful young woman and your weight has effected every part of your life. This is not only a good thing to do it is a wonderful thing to do. You will find your entire life changed and only for the good. Okay?????"

Don't necessarily agree with the "beautiful young woman" but do agree with the "life altering surgery" vs. using the term elective surgery! I think that we second guess because everyone is usually against us and it is such a "stigma" with WLS.....yes, it is considered elective, but sometimes even "elective" is necessary.

[hopetolose 192]

I just posted my second thoughts post on Tuesday. So I am right there with you. Mine was mostly about the money part as I am a self pay. But I went to the pre-op appt and gave them my money and am ready for my new life to begin in one week from today. My surgery is at 10:30, so I will be waking up from my sleep right about now. Strange thought....

To be silly, I went out and bought a cute little pair of capri's (from walmart) just one size down to get myself motivated a little. I am hoping to be in those by June 1. And then to watch them get bagier and bagier though out the summer. And maybe by the end of middle to end of summer I will be in a new size altogether. Not sure were my sizes are going to fall now because it has been 20 years since I have been in smaller sizes (less than 14). My body might have changed in my old age and is totally different now.

I am going to be 45 this year, so cant see myself getting any body work done at this point, so everything is going to have to be good enough for me when the weight comes off.

[JourneyGirl 10]

It is so normal and you are not alone. I second guessed and then canceled my surgery the morning of my Pre-Op! 2 years later I had it! I don't recommend doing what I did!! I will say that when I got banded (2/22/11) there wasn't a doubt in my mind. I knew it was what I needed and wanted to do 2 years ago too, but chickened out.

We can all play the "what if" game with any situation in life. What if we walk out side and get hit by a car, what if we walk and have a great stroll? What if we get in a car accident going to school or the supermarket? What if we don't and see someone who's life we affect by the simple smile we provide them?

What if you don't have this surgery? Where will your health go from here? What about all the reasons why you do want this surgery? What will happen to them? BUT..... What if you do have the surgery? What if it works? What if you loose weight? What if you get healthy? What if you extend your life longer? What if you feel good about yourself? What if you enjoy life? What if you hike the Grand Canyon some day? What if, what if, what if?

Look at your "what if's" one more time. Answer them firmly and from there on if doubts creep in your mind, go to the other "what if's". What if I don't do this, what will happen to me?

You can do this. You are not alone! We have all been there at some point. We are here to help and encourage you. Good luck, you will be great!!!

Wendy

[jlrbsr1 0]

Wow!! So many wonderful, true and inspiring things you guys poted. I am so glad I put that post up yesterday. All those things you guys have said to yourself, I have said to myself. Today, I have felt such a peace about all this. I go tomorrow for pre-op sutff at the hospital. I am looking forward to it. Only two more days to liquid diet. I get banded on next Tuesday, the 12th. I definitely know for absolute sure that I am ready to start my new life. Some of your replies were so inspiring. They made me cry. Thanks so much for the honesty and support.

[krista02 1]

Here I am less than a week away from being banded. Something I have worked really hard to get to. So, why am I second guessing this decision I thought I had already made. I am so confused right now. No one that understand to talk to about it. Is this normal to have second thought at the last minuite? What about all the "what if's?" Any advice is very much welcome. Are all these thoughts normal?

iam doing the same thing and thing what am i doing and dont know i am happy to see i am not the only one

[54Shirley 105]

The day of surgery. I told my husband "Give me my cloths, I'm leavin !" He said NO, it's just nerves. He was right.

Yes it is NORMAL.

[jinfrin 0]

I was banded on 3/8/11...I was self pay so my journey for this was very short...Which i think helped me in a way to not give me time to back out...every doctor is different for preop and post op rules...( I learned that after surgery)....I had 2 weeks of Clear Liquids before surgery!! there were days where I thought I couldnt get thru another one...how can I sustain off of this?? have energy?? etc... I played the what ifs in that area....but a couple days in and I actually had more energy (I had protien shakes provided by doctor)...and felt great...I went to the doctors and mini seminar on 2/16/11...sent my personal check out the next week....and kept myself busy until that morning....I remember walking at nite..thinking to myself....this has consumed every minute of my life since I made the decision to do it....and I remember crying....and my mom, one of many positive people in my support group, looked at me and said " why cant this occupy every bit of your time? for once you are making "you" the number one thing in ur life!! for once you are putting yourself first!! it will ease with time and with learning a new way of life....a new routine for health....it will ease as you begin to do new things and learn new ways...you have already taken the biggest step forward and that was making a date...march 8th...the beginning of my new life.....it has been a month and I'm not going to lie....there were a couple times I thought this day would never come...moments of "what did I do"...but those moments....thoughts of negativity....lasted 5-10 minutes....here and there...(more when I couldnt eat)...I felt times of alienation....not "normal"...only when I was hungry....I also had to stay on clear liquid a week after surgery...then 3 weeks of full liquid...If I were asked what the hardest part was preop and post op would be the emotional part...it is amazing how much ur mind can do....play tricks on you......physically your body is going to do what it is going to do...mentally you can get thru this...mentally you can make yourself believe in you....get thru "one more day"....emotionally.....only you can understand...whether it be needing food...wanting food...being with family and friends and remembering "feeding" time....how much we make our lives focused around food....all these ?'s and more are all normal....I could write a million I think I came up with before and after my surgery.... this is all normal.....I will tell you this....Every day it gets better and better.... Everyday when I thought I couldnt get thru...I was sore...I was gassy.....I was bloated.....I was pissy....I was hungry.....gets easier and easier..... I feel human again....I feel more positive with everyday....when your co workers and family and friends look at you and praise you ..when you feel that you can not bare to talk to one more person about this, or hear one more " wow...You look great already"....it just starts to fit...I along with you and everyone else out there banded...have a long journey ahead....but if we keep our eyes on the prize, we will succeed....we will conqure this...just know you have to do your part as well with lapband....this isnt the "easy way out" like some think....It is actualoy harder than ever....now we have to do our part to make sure what we do and eat are a postive choice that will have a profound effect on our tomorrows......I wish you the best of luck...and I will pray for your peace with this, as I know that thru prayer, is one of the main reasons I have gotten thru this thus far.........dont give up....you have finally made you inportant enough to you......and that my friend is AWESOME!! good luck.....Jenn

[newbandlady 3]

Loved reading this post. Such inspiration. And yes, I also second guessed myself all the way into the operating room. No regrets.

[SecretBeauty 2]

I said something like this to a friend of mine when I told her I was second guessing myself and I said "after all this is an elective surgery and not something I have to do" - she freaked out on me.

She said to me (cutting and pasting her email to me)......"This is not "just" an elective surgery! This is a life altering surgery. You have struggled with this since before you and I became friends. You are a beautiful young woman and your weight has effected every part of your life. This is not only a good thing to do it is a wonderful thing to do. You will find your entire life changed and only for the good. Okay?????"

Don't necessarily agree with the "beautiful young woman" but do agree with the "life altering surgery" vs. using the term elective surgery! I think that we second guess because everyone is usually against us and it is such a "stigma" with WLS.....yes, it is considered elective, but sometimes even "elective" is necessary.

I Love your friend. I cried reading it. I dont have a date yet but when that day comes... if I find myself wondering.... Im going to read this one over and over. Thank you for sharing that with us.

[SecretBeauty 2]

It is so normal and you are not alone. I second guessed and then canceled my surgery the morning of my Pre-Op! 2 years later I had it! I don't recommend doing what I did!! I will say that when I got banded (2/22/11) there wasn't a doubt in my mind. I knew it was what I needed and wanted to do 2 years ago too, but chickened out.

We can all play the "what if" game with any situation in life. What if we walk out side and get hit by a car, what if we walk and have a great stroll? What if we get in a car accident going to school or the supermarket? What if we don't and see someone who's life we affect by the simple smile we provide them?

What if you don't have this surgery? Where will your health go from here? What about all the reasons why you do want this surgery? What will happen to them? BUT..... What if you do have the surgery? What if it works? What if you loose weight? What if you get healthy? What if you extend your life longer? What if you feel good about yourself? What if you enjoy life? What if you hike the Grand Canyon some day? What if, what if, what if?

Look at your "what if's" one more time. Answer them firmly and from there on if doubts creep in your mind, go to the other "what if's". What if I don't do this, what will happen to me?

You can do this. You are not alone! We have all been there at some point. We are here to help and encourage you. Good luck, you will be great!!!

Wendy

Your very inspirational. Those questions are exactly what runs through my mind.. So true. What if I could finally be proud of my body and health? Its hard to imagine... like a dream right now. One I intend to make come true. Can I get an AMEN?!?!?