Realizing that I need help!!!

[Byebyeband 8]

So I was banded almost 2 months ago on 2/8/11. To date I have lost about 20 pounds since then. Most of you might think that's pretty good and so do I. The problem is I know I could have done MUCH better. Im disappointed in myself and my lack of commitment I'm feeling towards my new lifestyle. Im pretty much carrying on like I was before. I eat things I know I shouldn't FAR too often. I go out an average of 3-4 nights a week to a bar or lounge which equals ALCOHOL!!! Im not a light drinker either. Some people say the band has certain effects on their tolerance, but that is just not the case for me. Im talking an easy 5 or more drinks a night. NO I'm not an alcoholic and Im not turning to that rather than food. These are all things I did pre band and I am disgusted with myself when I think about it. Im 24, single in L.A. so I enjoy going out with friends, but I know I need to decide which is more important right now. Im still going to fast food restaurants, especially on the way home after the bar. Dating sucks too, because it usually involves going out to dinner or drinks at some point. I just don't know what is wrong with me. I guess this is the first step. I'm recognizing it and admitting to thousands of strangers; leaving myself vulnerable to harsh criticizing. I just need some support, as I have none really. I will work on myself starting this moment. Thanks for listening/reading.

[mandyb 3]

Well first things first! You recognized the problem and you KNOW you need help! And you know you need to fix it! That is a GREAT Step!!!!! So congrats on that.

As far as the Bad Habits!!! You really need to think about the lifestyle changes that you should have made and need to make before and after the band! If you like to drink... Limit yourself! If you are going out to eat...Remember Mindful Eating! Its' really all about Self Control!

I could go into Why did u even think about havin the band... bla bla bla...if you are not going to follow the guidelines that go with it... But I am not going to bother!

The most important thing here is that you recognize the problem and now do something about it!

Put your mind to it girl!!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!

[Byebyeband 8]

Well first things first! You recognized the problem and you KNOW you need help! And you know you need to fix it! That is a GREAT Step!!!!! So congrats on that.

As far as the Bad Habits!!! You really need to think about the lifestyle changes that you should have made and need to make before and after the band! If you like to drink... Limit yourself! If you are going out to eat...Remember Mindful Eating! Its' really all about Self Control!

I could go into Why did u even think about havin the band... bla bla bla...if you are not going to follow the guidelines that go with it... But I am not going to bother!

The most important thing here is that you recognize the problem and now do something about it!

Put your mind to it girl!!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Thanks and you are right. Truth is I have been going through a lot of things in my personal life (breakup, loss of friend, financial issues, the list goes on). I live alone and sometimes just sitting at home can kind of eat at you (no pun intended) so I choose to go out and get my mind off it. I realize now that it's doing more harm than good and am actively working on coming up with a plan to limit those bar hopping nights dramatically.

[Joleen 3]

Congrats on losing 20 lbs. so far!!! So in order to break your bad habits you have to first recognize them and want to change, which you have! Change is tough and it doesn't happen overnight. When you go out can you limit yourself to the lower alcoholic drinks and switch between alcohol and Water? As for fast food you just have to say NO, or have a healthy choice on the menu, but when your drinking it's harder!

Are you going to a gym or working out? I think when I work out I try harder to be better!!! You live in LA so there is a lot to do. Find other interest, take a photography class, or dance lessons. Start focusing on healthy choices!!! You can do this!!!

Ask yourself what you do like to do, and ask your friends to join you! There is a lot to do other then the bar scene you just have to look!!!

Good luck and we are all here for you!!!

Joleen

[Byebyeband 8]

Congrats on losing 20 lbs. so far!!! So in order to break your bad habits you have to first recognize them and want to change, which you have! Change is tough and it doesn't happen overnight. When you go out can you limit yourself to the lower alcoholic drinks and switch between alcohol and Water? As for fast food you just have to say NO, or have a healthy choice on the menu, but when your drinking it's harder!

Are you going to a gym or working out? I think when I work out I try harder to be better!!! You live in LA so there is a lot to do. Find other interest, take a photography class, or dance lessons. Start focusing on healthy choices!!! You can do this!!!

Ask yourself what you do like to do, and ask your friends to join you! There is a lot to do other then the bar scene you just have to look!!!

Good luck and we are all here for you!!!

Joleen

Thank you and you are so right. I need a hobby! LOL When I do go out, I do try and stick to either straight tequila or a light vodka mix, but you hit it right on the nose with the making smart food decisions after you have been drinking. Bottom line, I need to have self control and find more productive things to do with my time. I dont really have any friends, so I will give it a go alone. I havent been to the gym, just been sort of walking occassionally, which I know needs to change. Thank you so much for your feedback. It truly helped

[54Shirley 105]

I responded to a post the other day about SWAPING ADDICTIONS ! Trust me, it is not uncommon at all. In fact a lot of people that have WLS, and try to live with their addiction to food, can't do it unless they pick up another habit. It's called ADDICTION.

I am not hear to Crucify you.

I am here to tell you that you are not alone, and lapBand meetings, sometimes these are discussed there, and it is a good thing.

Do me a favor will ya ! Tonight on the OPRAH WINFREY NETWORK OWN on your cable. On her shoe tonight she is going to talk about food addictions with different couples.

If a lot of us didn't have some kind of problem, we wouldn't bother with this site.

So if you have cable or are home tonight, check it out. I know I will be watching. I want to see what sounds familiar to me, about me.

See if anything rings a bell to you to.

This is just a thought, but it is a good one. So take a look o.k....

[mattie7632 24]

One day at a time!

My motto--if I must cheat then I will, but will be mindful about it. For example, if I really want McDonalds I'll get it, but I might just get a Filet O Fish and a small diet. That's a lot less calories than a meal or something, and it satisfies my craving just the same.

Stress also contributes to my making bad choices. I try to keep Protein around so that even if I'm cheating there's a better chance I'll grab a mozzarella stick or a Protein Bar or shake or something.

You CAN do it! You've lost 20 pounds already! I got 6 weeks on you and only 25 pounds so the way I see it, you're ahead of the game! One day at a time! You CAN!!!

[Byebyeband 8]

I responded to a post the other day about SWAPING ADDICTIONS ! Trust me, it is not uncommon at all. In fact a lot of people that have WLS, and try to live with their addiction to food, can't do it unless they pick up another habit. It's called ADDICTION.

I am not hear to Crucify you.

I am here to tell you that you are not alone, and lapBand meetings, sometimes these are discussed there, and it is a good thing.

Do me a favor will ya ! Tonight on the OPRAH WINFREY NETWORK OWN on your cable. On her shoe tonight she is going to talk about food addictions with different couples.

If a lot of us didn't have some kind of problem, we wouldn't bother with this site.

So if you have cable or are home tonight, check it out. I know I will be watching. I want to see what sounds familiar to me, about me.

See if anything rings a bell to you to.

This is just a thought, but it is a good one. So take a look o.k....

Thanks for the tip, however, as I mentioned in my initial post, I am not swapping addictions. I am simply carrying on with my life as I was pre band and I know this is not acceptable for what I'm trying to achieve. Thank you for your words.

[Byebyeband 8]

One day at a time!

My motto--if I must cheat then I will, but will be mindful about it. For example, if I really want McDonalds I'll get it, but I might just get a Filet O Fish and a small diet. That's a lot less calories than a meal or something, and it satisfies my craving just the same.

Stress also contributes to my making bad choices. I try to keep Protein around so that even if I'm cheating there's a better chance I'll grab a mozzarella stick or a Protein Bar or shake or something.

You CAN do it! You've lost 20 pounds already! I got 6 weeks on you and only 25 pounds so the way I see it, you're ahead of the game! One day at a time! You CAN!!!

I can definitely relate to what you're saying. When it comes to the fast food, that's usually exactly what I do I'm just doing it way too often. Congrats on your 25 and I love the way you put that into perspective. Thank you so much

[honk 780]

I'm sorry but I have to say it. Your drinking is excessive. Not long ago there was a research study that showed in families where the males were alcohics; the females were statistically more likely to be obese. In my family there are a significant number of male alcoholics and most of the females are overweight. The compulsion to drink is closely related to the urge to eat when you are'nt hungry.

[smilinggirl 1]

Hopefullyhappy, perhaps you can look up a local support group meeting for banded people in your area? I am recently banded and I will be attending my first meeting this month.

I do agree with Honk that you should try to halt your drinking. Try drinking one, then sip on Water. We are all in a new way of life and it may take time to change our previous lifestyle choices. I attend bootcamp for exercise, perhaps you can join a dance class? I know it is hard to keep a journal, perhaps you can write down your thoughts at the end of the night when you realized how much you were going out per week and over indulging in alcohol. That may help identify a pattern. I am finding I am getting better at organzing my house and watching less TV than before. I too struggle with watching choices but I remind myself that I can begin the day with a fresh new start.

Don't beat yourself up, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and remember you are walking a new pathway and it isn't always mapped out for ourselves. Hang in there chickita! Best of luck to you! Dena.

[Jachut 487]

Well, I believe you when you say you're not an alcoholic but sheesh, you drink an awful lot for a non acoholic, it definitely qualifies as binge drinking and not only will it sabotage your weight loss, it will definitely lead to later health problems, you're drinking WAY beyond the recommended intake for women. Its also easy to crave alcohol and cave in and have more than you should as well without having a "problem" with alcohol. But its a choice - keep up your lifestyle and probably forego real success or change your lifestyle. If you want to keep going ot, you have to decide not to drink if you cant decide to just have one - not drinking saves you a lot of calories and will probably cut down those post bar fast food detours as well, you lose all control when you've got a few drinks on board.

That's the tough love part over with - I agree with you, its so awfully frustrating when you're trying to gain control when at every turn of your life there's another meal out, another drinks date, etc etc. I have weeks where I have that happen four or five times too, it drives me nuts, why does everything have to revolve around food? But the truth is, you cant always change it, nor may you want to if its the way you socialise and date, so the alternative is you have to learn to not view each occasion as an opportunity to go sick, but instead practice real restraint at each and every turn - drink club soda, eat only an appetiser, never ever ever order dessert, only drink white wine if you DO drink, and make damn sure you get plenty of exercise to balance it out. Nobody ever recommends skipping meals, but truth is, if we have a big lunch out, or we often catch up with my SIL and BIL with a cheese platter and a glass of wine on a Sunday afternoon - thenI dont eat dinner. The kids love being taken out for pancakes, and they are one of my fave treats too, so we time it as brunch and I dont eat at all again till dinner (even if I get hungry!), and we also often time that after a big walk up a mountain, known as the Thousand Steps, here in Melbourne, so a good bit of really hard exercise beforehand. I never ever miss my exercise, and on the days when I do have complete control, I really make them count so that I have a bit of a bank for those inevitable bad days. All that and I"m just working to MAINTAIN my weight. Being thin and healthy is a job, it never becomes efffortless, sad to say. You are always always working on it.

[ElfiePoo 109]

My intent is not to offend, but I think you may find that, while technically not an alcoholic, you do have a drinking problem...and are on your way. Even you admit that you are not a 'light drinker'. For what it's worth, here's a standard test that asks 22 short questions to help you determine at what level you are. Just FYI.

Now, that said, alcohol creates another problem (besides the incredibly high pointless calories) with many people and that is that it gives 'em the munchies. If not that night, then the next day. So now you get to white knuckle through the physical cravings. Another reason to give it up or at least make it a very infrequent occurrence...and, if you can't, that's a *big red flag*.

For many of us, our relationship with food is the pivotal point which all other relationships revolve and, many times, in order to be successful at changing our relationship with the food...those other relationships have to change as well. It's a complete lifestyle change and it is *HARD*.

I'd start with the 3-5 nights at the bars. Go ahead and go if that's what you enjoy...but pass on the alcohol and stick to carbonated Water or diet drinks. After all, it's not necessary to drink to have fun, yes? Then again, that's one of the reasons I gave up bar hopping when I was younger. I was never much of a drinker and found that drunks are never funny unless you're buzzed or drunk too. If you find it's no fun if you aren't drinking...find another way of entertaining yourself. Saves on the calories and any physical cravings the alcohol causes.

Invite your friends to do other activities instead of going to the bars. Maybe take up a new interest together - Zumba, for example. Fun *and* exercise.

Then pass up those fast food places! If you plan ahead and make sure you have some ready made foods that fit into whatever WOE you're following, then all you have to do is get home and dive into your own refrigerator. I always have cheese, cut up celery and hard boiled eggs in my refrigerator so that if I do find myself so hungry I know I'm not going to make it until dinner is ready, I have something there to nibble on to keep the food demons at bay. If you don't have a problem with carbs and can eat fruit, then carry around an apple or something similar so when you get those munchies on the way home, you can munch on your fruit instead of hitting that fast food place.

My favorite phrase these days is 'living intentionally' so I avoid the pitfalls with preplanning rather than falling into an 'oops' moment of eating that is filled with regret and guilt.

You can do this. You obviously want to or you would not have gotten banded. We're here for you. Now *you* be there for you.

Edit: My apologies if this appears a bit rambling. It's 4:30 a.m. and I can't sleep but I'm also not fully awake. Insomnia...gotta love it.

[54Shirley 105]

I will word it another way.

If you drink to much Booze, and eat what ever you feel like. How can you expect GOOD RESULTS down the road. Especially from empty calories.

You say your not a Alcoholic ! Can you put the bottle down, and leave it alone? Or if you were to start drinking, would you be like This Is Mine All Night Long !

As far as a Junk food Junkie... Well I am Banded too for almost 5 yrs.. Tell me again why your disappointed. I'm sure you can figure it out.

Go spill all this to a food Counselor, and let them tell you what you have going on. Maybe then you will believe someone.

You said you wanted TOUGH LOVE ! Well there it is. Either Deal with it, or don't be to shocked when you find yourself in for a major let down. And the control is all up to you.

Good Luck, Shirley.

[Kalipso2 25]

what size band do you have and how many cc's do you currently have in your band? hopefully once you have a couple more fills that will help with your fast food eating. you can still go to fast food restaurants but make the healthier choice... grilled chicken instead of fried chicken, a salad with dressing on the side instead of a burger. you KNOW what you have to do so you just have to put forth the effort.

as for the drinking... i don't live in L.A. so i don't know what it's like there but i can see where you're coming from. what do you drink when you go out? have a "skinny girl" margarita or rum with diet coke. instead of having 5 drinks, maybe have 3?

and yes, dating suck while banded but it can be done. i usually order an appetizer instead of an entree. and eat slow... that will give you time to get to know the person better : )

only YOU can make this work... the band can't do it alone.