Lap band jouney and Emotions

[stratcat 10]

I am 6 weeks post op, and I want to ask others about their journey, and naturally, share mine.

Mine has been so incredible - even the not so good parts because I learned so much. But I can identify several phases and hope you can share even more.

1. Hope: I will get a lap band. Lucky me!!

2. Fear and trepidation: All the questions that keep you up at night - and if you have forgotten ANY of this, just go to the pre-lap boards. It WAS and IS a big hurdle. My heart is still touched when I read some of these desperate posts.

3. Reality hits: Success with the band is NOT automatic. This is going to take a lot of effort and be a long process. I have alot to do and the success depends upon me.

4. Behavior Modification begins: You either start the liquid diet before surgery or you have surgery and start Clear liquids. Your best friend food is gone. And you miss your friend, confidant, and lover.

This is the part that threw me: I had no idea how much I depended on food to lift me up, console me and medicate all the bad things away. When I asked myself what the heck was going on, I realized that I was experiencing grief. Seriously. I GRIEVED for my lost friend: FOOD. We would never be the same. And I should have been overjoyed, but I was not. I was uncomfortable and off-kilter,

5. Learning to eat all over again. (this is after the doctor stops telling you what you CAN eat). I actually asked my PA what I could and should eat. (yes, I was that lost). He said something wonderful: "What ever you want and can tolerate. It is about Quality and not Quantity now. "

The band will keep you from eating too much if you follow the rules.

This section assumes (and this is a big assumption) that surgery has gone well. Meaning that your band allows you to eat about 1 - 1.5 cups of food, you only get hungry every 4-5 hours and that you can eat without getting stuck constantly. If you are not here yet, do not loose faith. Keep working with your heath care team.

6. Learning to trust the band: Learning to make the band work.

If the band will keep portions small enough for me to loose weight, then my decision is as follows: I want to eat like a normal person. I want to eat small portions of food that I love.

I will not eat like a fat lady on a diet, anymore.

I will eat normal things that I like, and loose weight at my own pace. I will only eat a salad if I want a salad - and you can bet that the Salad Dressing will be something I love and not the lowest calorie slop that I can find. Don't get me wrong - I am not punting low fat cottage cheese and slimfast breakfasts - and I have Nutrisystems for my grab and go meals/snack/desserts. But I LIKE those things, want to eat them and enjoy them for one reason or other.

I want to enjoy my weight loss journey, not hustle to the end with only one goal (the scale) in sight.

First - I have 100 more pounds to go - it will take a long time.

Second - isn't this when I should learn to eat normally - when I have medical supervison? Band-fills and a Nutritionist who is happy to help? And Finally, some folks actually say the slower the better. I would put in that for me it will be: the more I can normalize and naturalize, the better.

And, so that is why I call the next section:

7. Living with the band.

Normalize and naturalize eating with the band.

I am not here yet. I am still stuggling every day to deal with the old habits. Evenings are the toughest. I want to eat in front of the TV. I want what I see on Food Network and on commercials. I could go on, but I think we all know the "evening shuffle to the fridge".

Making a cup of Tea helps.

[trish151 33]

Great Post! I only experienced the grief of loss of my comfort in food one time. I am about 6 weeks post op and had my first fill about 2 weeks ago. One day we got a new grill and my husband requested that we make some good hamburgers. He formed and shapped them and I cooked them. He made me my own little pattie which was quite a bit smaller than theirs. Then he made him and my son each 2 big ones. As I was putting their Condiments on their bread and looking at how much bigger their portions where than mine, I felt really great about how far I had come in my own eating. My husband and son are both pretty tall and naturally thin. I'm 5'1". As I fixed my own burger, I left off the bread and smeared a small amount of mayo and mustard, a tomatoe, and 2 dill pickles on my burger. When I sat down to eat, the taste was so good. That was the first time I had not had mushies or a Protein shake, but some real solid food. I had been so happy with my band preventing me from eating much but as I ate on my burger, I took a few bites and was full. Eating the muchies was fine and gave me pleasure in my new found ability to be satisfied on such a small amount but when I tasted how good the burger was, I realized how I just wanted to keep taking one more little bite to savor the flavor. That was probably the only time I have grieved over not being able to eat as much. I realized that I really miss chewing and the zone I used to get into when I ate. That is when I kind of took my break from the world and really let my self go to enjoy something. We watched a movie shortly after supper so my grief was brief but it was still there.

Yesterday I was kind of depressed and couldn't really put my finger on it. There had been a big dog lose in the neighborhood and I couldn't get out for my morning walk. My husband was home sleeping during the day so I didn't want to go to our work out room and walk on my treadmill because I didn't want to wake him up. I kind of just walked around the house depressed and when he finally woke up and I went in to walk on the treadmill finally, I realized that I had gotten so used to walking every day that that was my time to let go of everything in my world and just enjoy the music and walking. It's during that time now that I enjoy being sort of out of reality and that is really strange for me because I have never liked to exercise.

How great it feels to be aware of the changes that occuring in me besides just the weight loss. I love the awareness I feel in how good I am feeling, even if I am having to give up some of the things I thought I could not live without and am replacing them with things I never thought I would do. Thank you for sharing your journey as well.

[HeatherinCA 10]

Still working on not taking comfort in food, but I mean I still eat, so it's not that bad, and like you said if I want something I can treat myself occasionally! I don't feel deprived.

[kswin79 16]

I am 6 weeks post op, and I want to ask others about their journey, and naturally, share mine.

Mine has been so incredible - even the not so good parts because I learned so much. But I can identify several phases and hope you can share even more.

1. Hope: I will get a lap band. Lucky me!!

2. Fear and trepidation: All the questions that keep you up at night - and if you have forgotten ANY of this, just go to the pre-lap boards. It WAS and IS a big hurdle. My heart is still touched when I read some of these desperate posts.

3. Reality hits: Success with the band is NOT automatic. This is going to take a lot of effort and be a long process. I have alot to do and the success depends upon me.

4. Behavior Modification begins: You either start the liquid diet before surgery or you have surgery and start Clear Liquids. Your best friend food is gone. And you miss your friend, confidant, and lover.

This is the part that threw me: I had no idea how much I depended on food to lift me up, console me and medicate all the bad things away. When I asked myself what the heck was going on, I realized that I was experiencing grief. Seriously. I GRIEVED for my lost friend: FOOD. We would never be the same. And I should have been overjoyed, but I was not. I was uncomfortable and off-kilter,

5. Learning to eat all over again. (this is after the doctor stops telling you what you CAN eat). I actually asked my PA what I could and should eat. (yes, I was that lost). He said something wonderful: "What ever you want and can tolerate. It is about Quality and not Quantity now. "

The band will keep you from eating too much if you follow the rules.

This section assumes (and this is a big assumption) that surgery has gone well. Meaning that your band allows you to eat about 1 - 1.5 cups of food, you only get hungry every 4-5 hours and that you can eat without getting stuck constantly. If you are not here yet, do not loose faith. Keep working with your heath care team.

6. Learning to trust the band: Learning to make the band work.

If the band will keep portions small enough for me to loose weight, then my decision is as follows: I want to eat like a normal person. I want to eat small portions of food that I love.

I will not eat like a fat lady on a diet, anymore.

I will eat normal things that I like, and loose weight at my own pace. I will only eat a salad if I want a salad - and you can bet that the Salad Dressing will be something I love and not the lowest calorie slop that I can find. Don't get me wrong - I am not punting low fat cottage cheese and slimfast breakfasts - and I have Nutrisystems for my grab and go meals/snack/desserts. But I LIKE those things, want to eat them and enjoy them for one reason or other.

I want to enjoy my weight loss journey, not hustle to the end with only one goal (the scale) in sight.

First - I have 100 more pounds to go - it will take a long time.

Second - isn't this when I should learn to eat normally - when I have medical supervison? Band-fills and a Nutritionist who is happy to help? And Finally, some folks actually say the slower the better. I would put in that for me it will be: the more I can normalize and naturalize, the better.

And, so that is why I call the next section:

7. Living with the band.

Normalize and naturalize eating with the band.

I am not here yet. I am still stuggling every day to deal with the old habits. Evenings are the toughest. I want to eat in front of the TV. I want what I see on Food Network and on commercials. I could go on, but I think we all know the "evening shuffle to the fridge".

Making a cup of Tea helps.

I LOVE THIS POST!!! IT DESCRIBED MY LIFE FOR THE PAST MONTH...THANK YOU I AM NOT ALONE...I APPRECIATE YOU TAKING THE TIME TO POST THIS! I ALSO APPRECIATE KNOWING THAT SOMEONE ELSE IS GOING THROUGH THE SAME FEELINGS.

[stevenjoec 0]

Thank you for your post Stratcat!! It was definitely worth reading!! I"m going through a lot of the same things right now!!! Thank you!!

[newbandlady 3]

Great post! I really enjoyed reading it.

[hopeful2 be slim 121]

wonderful post....yes we all have been so dependant on food to get out of our problems...isnt it...

and now food our best friend is just not there for us...we have to think 10 times...should I have this...i better not...

but we are much better off and soon will get over this dependency on food...

all the best to all!!!