Food addictions and lap band!

[54Shirley 105]

We are taught to EAT TO LIVE ! NOT LIVE TO EAT!

at least where I had surgery....

I think that makes a big difference with WLS in General.

If you can plant that between your ears, and understand that this is what we do now.

You will be successful.

That is my idea on the band.

Addiction is there own persons nightmare. If you can handle it day by day.

Then your doing O.K. !

[54Shirley 105]

food is not the addiction- overeating is the addiction. Overeating is one's own choice and one does not need to overeat to live.

That's why it is called "Overeaters Anonymous" and not "Food Anonymous."

But you still have to put food in your mouth to live. That's what I believe makes it harder for the overweight person to lose weight.

[Llyra 3]

Honey, it's not that I don't see your point because I do. I used to think that way myself. But the point doesn't stand up well under scrutiny. More than one heroin addict has been faced with needing medically prescribed painkillers to deal with a physical condition and has managed to take the medication without overdoing it and sliding back into active addiction. That's no easier than needing to eat while learning to not compulsively overeat.

What I want to convey is the defeatist attitude involved in bemoaning the unfairness of our particular challenge. It is what it is. By all means, spend what time you need to feel angry about the situation, but then move on and learn how to deal with it.

You are nineteen pounds down a long road to good health and ultimate triumph over big challenges. You can do this, but if you find it is too difficult to do alone, the twelve stepers are always there to lend a hand and a time-proven method of moving yourself down the line.

[54Shirley 105]

Honey, it's not that I don't see your point because I do. I used to think that way myself. But the point doesn't stand up well under scrutiny. More than one heroin addict has been faced with needing medically prescribed painkillers to deal with a physical condition and has managed to take the medication without overdoing it and sliding back into active addiction. That's no easier than needing to eat while learning to not compulsively overeat.

What I want to convey is the defeatist attitude involved in bemoaning the unfairness of our particular challenge. It is what it is. By all means, spend what time you need to feel angry about the situation, but then move on and learn how to deal with it.

You are nineteen pounds down a long road to good health and ultimate triumph over big challenges. You can do this, but if you find it is too difficult to do alone, the twelve stepers are always there to lend a hand and a time-proven method of moving yourself down the line.

As far as angry about a food addiction, I am not. It just doesn't seem fair that's all.

As far as me, Well ! I was banded 10-31-06. Lost over 120lbs., and was well on my way, to success, when my surgeon gave me a fill, had problems, and told me the band was blown.... It took 3 years to find another surgeon that would touch someone else's junk. Then under fluoroscopy , it was discovered that there was nothing wrong with the band,,,,, he just deflated it because it was the thing to do ! He figured I was to swollen. Now I start all over again. I'm very glad that I can. So it's not just 19 lbs. down.. I have been there and felt the success of knowing that this is possible.

And yes,,, I will do it again...

[gMommy 4]

I started my journey towards getting a Lap Band last September. In December I realized that I had more of a problem than just being overweight. There is so much more to overeating than putting lots of food in your mouth. Using food to make yourself happy, relieve stress, and comfort from illness or sadness leads to overeating. Thinking about food all day leads to overeating. Looking forward to the food at an event instead of looking forward to the actual event leads to overeating. Using food to suppress you feelings and starting to isolate from friends, family and the general public leads to overeating.

For me, being overweight was a sign that something was wrong. I felt like I always had a tug a war going on in my head. One part saying to eat the "bad food" and the other side telling me not to because the "bad food" and the quantity was so unhealthy for me and was going to lead to a premature death. The first one was winning out. At times I had serious physical symptoms that should have led me to the Emergency Room. Instead I ate more "bad food" to comfort myself.

I know the lap bad will help me lose weight. But I also know that it will not stop the mental tug of war or any of the emotional eating. I knew I would need more help. I tried counseling for a couple of months. The counselor was not an overeater, so she didn't really "get it". I decided to try OA. I was really embarrassed going there. I didn't want anyone to see me going into the meeting. But, wow! Once I was through the doors I felt like I was completely accepted, understood and loved. Although these people were strangers to me, they all had the same problems as me. I "get it". I have been going for 2 months and I understand how valuable this program is going to be to me. It is not about counting calories. In fact, it is not even about losing weight (that is just a wonderful benefit). It is about learning how to come to peace with yourself, start loving yourself, living life without the food obsession and how to make the mental tug of war end.

For me, I know that I will not have success without addressing what is going on in my head.

Good luck with everything. Only you know what will work for you.

[54Shirley 105]

I started my journey towards getting a Lap Band last September. In December I realized that I had more of a problem than just being overweight. There is so much more to overeating than putting lots of food in your mouth. Using food to make yourself happy, relieve stress, and comfort from illness or sadness leads to overeating. Thinking about food all day leads to overeating. Looking forward to the food at an event instead of looking forward to the actual event leads to overeating. Using food to suppress you feelings and starting to isolate from friends, family and the general public leads to overeating.

For me, being overweight was a sign that something was wrong. I felt like I always had a tug a war going on in my head. One part saying to eat the "bad food" and the other side telling me not to because the "bad food" and the quantity was so unhealthy for me and was going to lead to a premature death. The first one was winning out. At times I had serious physical symptoms that should have led me to the Emergency Room. Instead I ate more "bad food" to comfort myself.

I know the lap bad will help me lose weight. But I also know that it will not stop the mental tug of war or any of the emotional eating. I knew I would need more help. I tried counseling for a couple of months. The counselor was not an overeater, so she didn't really "get it". I decided to try OA. I was really embarrassed going there. I didn't want anyone to see me going into the meeting. But, wow! Once I was through the doors I felt like I was completely accepted, understood and loved. Although these people were strangers to me, they all had the same problems as me. I "get it". I have been going for 2 months and I understand how valuable this program is going to be to me. It is not about counting calories. In fact, it is not even about losing weight (that is just a wonderful benefit). It is about learning how to come to peace with yourself, start loving yourself, living life without the food obsession and how to make the mental tug of war end.

For me, I know that I will not have success without addressing what is going on in my head.

Good luck with everything. Only you know what will work for you.

The point about the band that I love the most, works this way: It's a step by step process, that is worked by fills. Every Time you get a fill (ADJUSTMENT) you get a little closer to a part in your life where hunger does not bother you. When you get enough adjustments, It makes

life livable. The food BEAST doesn't bother you so much, so you won't say I'm Starving. It takes time to get there though. In the meantime you journal your food, and my Doc said you should get hungry about every 5 hrs.. If you start getting hungrier before that? It's time for a fill. Even a small one can take the hunger away. On the other hand, it can make you to tight. So you have to stay on liquids for a few days, so all swelling goes down, then try to eat. If you eat to soon you can cause swelling to happen

Knowing certain things about the band makes it all possible. Some people don't listen to their Dr., or are not given tips. That's where this site comes in handy. I hope you keep my tips in mind. Believe me, it took my years to learn what no one told me. Only the advice from a new Dr..

Good Luck, Shirley.

[Rainydayz 3]

Honey, it's not that I don't see your point because I do. I used to think that way myself. But the point doesn't stand up well under scrutiny. More than one heroin addict has been faced with needing medically prescribed painkillers to deal with a physical condition and has managed to take the medication without overdoing it and sliding back into active addiction. That's no easier than needing to eat while learning to not compulsively overeat.

I can only speak to what I've seen first-hand. I knew someone who was addicted to pain-killers. When she got clean she refused to ever even take an aspirin again. She went through child-birth drug-free because she didn't want any pain meds she was so afraid of getting addicted again. I quit smoking cold-turkey 6 years ago. I tried many times before that but I found myself in situations often that other people were smoking and I would take "just one." Well that just one turned into me smoking a pack a day again. I have relatives that were alcoholics. They know they can never even taste alcohol ever again. We couldn't even have cooking wine in the house. So it's not hyperbole to say that while most addicts can shut out the addiction completely, food addicts can not. We were addicted to carbs, calories, fat whatever. We still have to have some of those to live. You knew a heroin addict who could handle pain killers without becoming addicted again. That's great. That person must have a very strong will. But did they have to take pain-killers every day? I'm just saying that that is the kind of will that ALL food addicts must have EVERYDAY to overcome their addiction. Not that it can't be done. That's why there are support groups - to help bolster our will. Maybe it's easy for you, and that's wonderful. But there are people who struggle with their will every day. I would never downplay their efforts by saying it is any easier than a drug-addict's struggle. It's bad enough that much of society still think that all fat people are lazy and stupid, let's not do it to each other.

[CheckYes 46]

Can I suggest you look into food Addicts Anonymous. You can get the kind of support there that you need. You'll get a sponsor, work the 12 steps, etc. Check out www.foodaddictsanonymous.org for a meeting near you. I think they also have online meetings. I found that it was different that Overeaters Anonymous in the type of program you follow and the level of support that you will receive.

There are meetings every day of the week in Northern California, so I imagine you might find one nearby.

I know the idea of going to a meeting with a bunch of other people is a bit daunting. But, it's like being on LapBandTalk. They've all been there.

I wish you lots of luck in this battle. Please just at least look at the website.

www.foodaddictsanonymous.org

[Llyra 3]

Rainy, I think we're kind of talking at cross purposes here. Do you understand the difference that I'm making between sheer will power and working a program? Recovery begins with the realization that will power is not enough.

I also know addicts who are afraid to take so much as an aspirin, but there often comes a time when a person needs painkillers for an extended time in order to heal from a particular physical ordeal, say spinal surgery. It can be done without a relapse.

I'm not saying it is easy to deal with any addiction, I'm saying it is possible. And it is not a matter of will power, it's a matter of having tools to deal with the situation and an understanding support group who can help you use those tools if necessary.

To keep telling ourselves that it is harder to recover from overeating than from other addictions where the substance can be eliminated completely is not helpful and may even enable us. What I want to get across is that difficult or not, it can be done, it has been done, and will power has little or nothing to do with it.

I'm really not just being argumentative. I'm trying to share the experience, strength and hope that I learned during the last decade and a half as a member of a twelve step program.

[ElfiePoo 109]

What I want to convey is the defeatist attitude involved in bemoaning the unfairness of our particular challenge. It is what it is. By all means, spend what time you need to feel angry about the situation, but then move on and learn how to deal with it.

Excellent advice. We don't need to be passive victims that have no control. We do have control. Yeah, it's a bitch that my body doesn't process certain carbs the way others do and, yeah, I have days where I get angry at how unfair it is that I can't eat fruit or grains...but it is what it is. I can bitch and moan and continue to eat the foods that are killing me because it's 'not fair' that I can't...or I can adjust and deal with it.

At some point, we all need to just 'deal' with it.

.

[54Shirley 105]

I can only speak to what I've seen first-hand. I knew someone who was addicted to pain-killers. When she got clean she refused to ever even take an aspirin again. She went through child-birth drug-free because she didn't want any pain meds she was so afraid of getting addicted again. I quit smoking cold-turkey 6 years ago. I tried many times before that but I found myself in situations often that other people were smoking and I would take "just one." Well that just one turned into me smoking a pack a day again. I have relatives that were alcoholics. They know they can never even taste alcohol ever again. We couldn't even have cooking wine in the house. So it's not hyperbole to say that while most addicts can shut out the addiction completely, food addicts can not. We were addicted to carbs, calories, fat whatever. We still have to have some of those to live. You knew a heroin addict who could handle pain killers without becoming addicted again. That's great. That person must have a very strong will. But did they have to take pain-killers every day? I'm just saying that that is the kind of will that ALL food addicts must have EVERYDAY to overcome their addiction. Not that it can't be done. That's why there are support groups - to help bolster our will. Maybe it's easy for you, and that's wonderful. But there are people who struggle with their will every day. I would never downplay their efforts by saying it is any easier than a drug-addict's struggle. It's bad enough that much of society still think that all fat people are lazy and stupid, let's not do it to each other.

I know we are talking about the same thing. You ha v e,, to eat to survive, So while you try to eat daily, all these other foods can be very tempting.

Heroin, Booze, pills, whatever you choose to use "intenially" to get high on is done by choice.

As a result,, I see a major difference.

I agree that the food can be addicting "Depends on the person" but unless you want to live with a I V in your arm, you still must eat. Correct.

[Llyra 3]

Fair enough. I agree, people do have to eat to live and people don't have to do heroin to live, but eating more food than our bodies need is a choice.

All of us know obesity sucks or we wouldn't be here. We all know diets don't work. We all know it is hard to stop eating once you get started. No one denies those things. But give yourselves a break- quit emphasizing how difficult addiction to overeating/food is and put that energy into learning how to cope with it.

Twelve step programs for overeaters/food addicts evolved from programs designed for other addicts: people have found a way to deal with the problem of addiction. We need not resign ourselves to lives inside a wall of fat. We can choose to stop eating when we've had enough and are lucky to have the lapband to make that choice easier to follow through with.

[Rainydayz 3]

OK, llrya I think I see where you're coming from. It's just that it sounded like you were saying that battling a food addiction was easy compared to a drug or alcohol addiction. I think that's a disservice to people in the battle. If I'm giving my all trying to do something and barely making it I don't need someone telling me that it should be "easy." I would rather people recognize the difficulty of my fight and provide support and encouragement. I apologize if I mistook your language. If I understand now I think you are saying that we should not have a defeatist attitude. Absolutely I agree. But I also don't want people telling me how easy it should be while I'm hanging on by my fingernails. I'm just not into the tough love approach.

[Tobeme 0]

I know exactly what you are talking about and I am too wondering about this. I am reading a book i found on this topic (just started) and i guess i will see what I learn and I will share whatever information I get from it. But this is my miserable existence also, and I cant bear it anymore. Sometimes I wonder if I should go to overeaters anonymous but I cant make myself. The thought of doing a 12 step program like im a drunk or a junkie does not sit well with me. But I have a couple of months (four) to figure out how to manage my self destructive eating habits before presenting to my insurance. I need this surgery I feel like it will help me to not eat as much and give me time to change my bad habit of overeating

I believe I am a food addict as well. My surgery is April 8th and I have had the same concerns as you for a long time. I have chosen to see a therapist to work on my food addiction in combination with the lapband. I haven't gone to Overeaters Anonymous yet but I am considering going soon. I am actually a Substance Abuse Counselor and I recommed AA and NA to my addicted clients everyday. If you understand addiction it doesn't matter what the drug of choice is the same things are going on in our brains whether its food or drugs. An addiction is an addiction. The 12-step programs will only work if you work them. Good luck with your journey.

[Llyra 3]

I think we are finally on the same wave length, Rainy!

No, I do not believe battling one addiction is harder or easier than battling any other addiction. Telling oneself that one's own addiction poses special challenges (e.g. we have to eat) not only disregards the special challenges faced by other addicts but sets an unneccessary barrier in one's own path to recovery.

The desire to have people recognize the difficulty of the battle and provide support and encouragement is why I strongly recommend seeking out a twelve step group- that is precisely what a twelve step group does. It also teaches you step by step how to go about recovering from addiction so that you can lead a better life than the one you have now.