Hiding the Lap Band from friends at meals

[momnear40 1]

I am worried that I am going to go out with a friend for dinner or something and I will be eating so little they will ask me why I am not eating. How do you all deal with this? My birthday is next week and I have to keep coming up with excuses to not meet people for lunch or let them take me out. I never want to tell my friends. Only my husband and mother. I am intensely private when it comes to my weight and I don't want anyone looking at me differently. How do you hide eating so little?

[reverie 49]

Tell them you're eating healthier? You don't have to come outright and say you had WLS. Say you're watching your portions.

[VTAP3711 1]

A couple of suggestions on making small portion size consumption less obvious.

-Ask the waitress to bring you a take-home box as soon as your meal comes. Put half of the food into the take-home box and leave half on your plate. By the end of the meal, people will forget how little you started with on your plate.

-Move your food around your plate and make lots of conversation.

-Order off the appetizer menu only, to begin with a smaller portion.

-If anyone questions you, tell them your stomach is not feeling just right today.

-Just say outright that you've made a conscious decision to change the way you eat.

I am of the same mindset right now. Banded on 03/07/2011 and not planning to tell anyone about it. Although my Weight Loss Counselor says that once I lose a large amount of weight I may not feel the same way. For now, I'm keeping it to myself. Don't like people to know my business, because then I have to field all kinds of questions...."can you eat that?".....etc.

Good luck to you!

[2beskinny 4]

I have lost enough weight where everyone really notices it and I still don't tell anyone. I am also intensely private and don't feel like it's my job to educate everyone about lapband...there are so many misconceptions about it. I have not had an issue with going out to eat...I just choose foods that I know I won't have a problem with. Usually stick to fish and mashed potatoes and eat about half of it. I can always give some to my hubby and say "try this, it's so good!" If you have "skinny" friends/family (which I do) then it's interesting to notice that they don't eat much more than I do Go figure. Soup is always a good option. I have also found that salads are practically a slider food for me so I can usually order a large, restaurant style salad and take home about half of it. If the Protein in the salad looks a little too dry, I just cut it up in very small bites and when it's mixed in with the dressing, it's usually ok. Crab cakes always go down really easy for me and are sometimes on the appetizer side. Soup and a crabcake are a perfect size meal when you are out with friends. I spent a LOT of time worrying about how I was going to hide my surgery...it has not been nearly as hard as I thought it would be!

[elcee 3,341]

I eat with friends that don't know about my band and they have never noticed or commented on what or how much I eat. I am careful though to try and choose things that I know won't get stuck.

[Kalipso2 25]

ordering just an appetizer is always a good idea... it's what i do now if i'm out with people who don't know. if i'm out with people that do know, i order from the kids menu.

you can say you are watching your portion size.... that you had a late big Breakfast (or lunch)... the Soup and side salad is a good choice too.

if the people you are dining with are used to seeing you eat a big meal and you're now eating a much smaller meal, there probably will be questions. i just say "i'm not really that hungry right now".

[eko 1]

My Lap Band journey is very personal and just a few family members know about it.

My friends do not know about my band, still after three months and it is obvious that I have lost weight. What they have noticed is that I am eating healthier when we go out and watch my portion size, so what if I take half my meal home.

For those who ask about my diet, I don't mention the band, I just tell them that I am eating high Protein, low carb, drinking 64 oz of Water and watching my portions. It is the truth, I just left out the part about a little assist from my band.

If a friend was obese, and sincerely was looking for help to lose weight, I probably would have a one on one converstion and tell them about my lap band journey.

[eko 1]

I just wanted to add, life is to short not to enjoy the company of friends and family. Go out and have fun. Do a lot of talking and naturally you will eat less. Follow the tips of the other posters. Celebrate your birthday, celebrate life.

[vickyd 24]

I am also not telling most people about my band and I was very nervous the first time I went out to eat with friends who don't know about it...I was worried that everyone would watch how much I ate and comment on it but I found that they really didn't notice (or if they did, they didn't say anything). I cut my meat up into smaller bites and so I think it seemed like I was eating a lot more than I was. I also like getting a salad - at most restaurants their salads are huge so it isn't as obvious that you aren't eating as much. I eat the Protein off of the salad first and then eat some of the lettuce. If anyone says anything just say "this salad is huge" , "I had a big Breakfast (or lunch) so I'm not very hungry", or "I'm watching my portion sizes". Like the others, if someone asks directly about what I am eating (since I have lost 56 lbs, I don't expect people not to notice) then I just tell them the same thing that eko does...I'm eating a high protein, low carb, watching my portions and exercising...technically, that is the truth...I AM doing all of those things...

[kimky67 0]

Me personally, I tell people i've had the surgery. I mean I don't broadcast it in a room full of people, but if someone ask I will tell them. I feel like it will cause me to be more accountable for my eating. I do not want to fail at this and feel that the more support I have, the better off I am. But like I said....just my opinion! Good Luck!

[dits4golf 0]

I am worried that I am going to go out with a friend for dinner or something and I will be eating so little they will ask me why I am not eating. How do you all deal with this? My birthday is next week and I have to keep coming up with excuses to not meet people for lunch or let them take me out. I never want to tell my friends. Only my husband and mother. I am intensely private when it comes to my weight and I don't want anyone looking at me differently. How do you hide eating so little?

Let the whole world know how proud you are to take control of your destiny. You will be surprised at how many people admire those of us who care about our health and what we look like. After loosing 80#, I still thump my chest when I hear "man, do you look great."

[cid 1]

I am right there with you.

My husband knows and most of my family, but none of my friends or co workers know. I am very private about my weight and I feel it is no one's business.

I had my surgery Feb. 18th and now people are starting to notice. Also the way I eat. I just had one co worker as me and she just commented, "you are eating so healthy and look at me". My comment back to her was, " I am trying to eat healthy and smaller portions". She just said :good for you".

I know I will have a situation of one of those sabotage friends, but again it is about me eating healthy and NO ONE will get me to eat what I do not want to eat.

Stay strong, and I do not ever plan on sharing my WLS except with my family.

Cid

Let the whole world know how proud you are to take control of your destiny. You will be surprised at how many people admire those of us who care about our health and what we look like. After loosing 80#, I still thump my chest when I hear "man, do you look great."

[nu2ywg 4]

You might be surprised at how little people notice. I have only told my husband and my dad (who lives out of town). My surgery was on Jan 5th so I was on the pre-op diet for Christmas!!!! I had a houseful of inlaws, went to inlaws and not one person noticed...I kept myself busy with kids and shared a plate with my toddler (he ate all of it actually). Now I'm almost 60lbs down and I've had a couple of comments on looking better and my father-in-law recently said I wasn't eating enough but my mother-in-law shushed him and said I was working hard, lol. So I would say go, have fun, play it cool and just say you're watching what you eat or something. When eating out I tend to go for the salads with grilled chicken. Have a great time!

[Cocoabean 430]

It is best to be prepared, some people DO notice and will comment or ask questions. A lot of good info has been shared.

I was having a rough time when I went on a new medicine that caused my band to tighten temporarily. I was also on travel for a meeting for work.

I met some new people and went out for lunch with two of them. I ordered Soup, and could not even get that down. My co-workers noticed. One asked if I was feeling OK. I could easily have said my tummy was a bit off or something, but I am pretty open about my surgery. So I told them. One person's father had a band, the other's aunt had had bypass. So we had a bonding moment over my discomfort.

[Dave_NW 92]

My family and friends who do know I had surgery say they felt weird at first inviting me out or to dinner at their homes because they didn't know whether I'd be able to eat or enjoy the meal. I told them to not worry about me one little bit - that I'd find something I enjoyed, and would eat what I could. After the first time or two there was no more problem, and everyone relaxed. It soon became a non-issue.

For those who don't know, not one has asked why I'm not eating or whatever. I just act as normal, order what I want, and share in the conversation. Life goes on.

At work, where I didn't tell many folks at first, it got to be embarrassing when my weight loss became quite noticeable. I started to get the concerned, "Are you sick? You're so thin!" comments. I appreciated the sentiments, but finally decided to tell anyone who was interested what was up. And now everyone knows, because I work at a hospital, and heaven knows, people do love to talk! Now I get "Hey Skinny!" comments, or those who are really paying attention say things like, "You know, Dave, you need to get some tighter pants. Yours are falling off!" I smile right back at them, and tell them I plan to go shopping this weekend. It's a weird kind of bonding thing, but everyone I know (and there are plenty of them) are totally behind me in this. And the very obese ones are really starting to make the "I need to do what you're doing!" comments. It feels great to be the object of positive attention for a change.

Relax, enjoy your life, and be as private as you wish. Most folks will accept whatever you decide to tell them.

Dave