Emotional Rollercoaster

[JinTx 19]

Had an appt yesterday w/ my PCP to go over some bloodwork. As if stepping on the scale and it reading 230 pounds wasn't enough, he said I have Metabolic Syndrome aka pre-diabetes. I was holding in my tears the whole time he was explaining it to me. He showed me some paperwork on it and the lump in my throat was huge. I knew if I spoke I was going to bust out in tears. And then, it happened. The flood gates opened! I went on to tell him about how I have been like this for 6 years -- up, down, up down and I am so sick of it. Told him I attended a seminar about the band and I have a consult next week. He said "I am not opposed to that". So is that a yes?? He said - exact words - I need a DRASTIC lifestyle change. It's only a matter of WHEN I get diabetes, not IF, as long as I continue to live the way I am now.

I walked out of there and called DH and cried some more. But then I was thinking I am lucky. I am lucky that I have a supportive employer that provides health insurance that covers this procedure. And the doctor even said I have the power to turn this around. I am only 31 and I have the ability to stop this. That made me feel good. So I started to feel better afterwards that this appointment just confirmed that the band is the tool that I need. I think DH saw that too. Then DH starts to talk about loose skin -- ummm...seriously?? I just have an appointment like that and you want to worry about skin?? Then DH goes on to say that I dismiss all of his concerns about the band and just "blow them off" b/c it's not what I want to hear. Well I invited him to the seminar so he could hear exactly what it was about from the doctor's mouth.

Then I got pissed at myself. How did I let this happen? How did it get to this point? Why did I wait til now to do something? Frustrating.

All in all, I think I NEEDED to hear that from my PCP yesterday. Maybe it was the kick in the rear that I needed. But it still sucked to hear.

-J

[JourneyGirl 10]

Just want to say congrats on your decision to get banded! Sometimes all the answers come to us clear as day out of worrisome news. Good for you for turning that around and seeing what can happen if you decide to change things! I honestly believe that we have to be head ready first. And from the sounds of it you are.

Don't worry about DH. He is just expressing his thoughts and/or concerns. One thing that I learned is that the guys have a whole different set of emotions when it comes to this. We just have to listen, and try not to get upset with them when we may want to, and even if we don't understand, talk about it. He is probably more worried about you then loose skin. Guys just can't ever seem to find the words to say what they are really thinking! lol

Good luck on your journey. Keep us posted and Welcome to the boards!

Wendy

[dk4k 15]

We've all felt the roller coaster of emotions that come with being obese, unhealthy, unsure, deciding to do something about it, taking control, etc. There's more to come too (most people get a panicky, what- have-I-gotten-myself-into feeling shortly before surgery), but it will all be worth it when you start losing weight and making yourself healthier.

[nu2ywg 4]

I've been on that same rollercoaster, as have many here. Nobody plans to become obese I'm sure and when we get there and realize how hard it is to turn it around it can be very emotional. I think it's great that you are on the right track and looking for solutions now. My hubby has also mentioned the skin thing once or twice (I've had 3 babies, 2 of them over 9 1/2 lb and I'm 40 now so things won't spring back)...I just want to get to my goal please and worry about that stuff later. You are still at a pretty young age and 230 is not so bad (I've lost almost 60 lb and still not 230 yet!) so you might not even have skin issues.

[Dakloh 0]

MY DH, never really gave me the OK go ahead sign. He stood back and was concerned about surgery. He is scared of everything....still I think mainly he wanted it to be my decision. Now he goes to support group with me and it was his idea.

[Jess55 97]

Congrats on your decision! It is the best decision I have made. I understand your emotions. My highest weight was much higher than you. I hit a whopping 308 lb at my highest and I was 22 I think at that time. I tried WW and Jenny Craig and by my surgery date I was at 247 (I think). I'm 28 now and was banded 3 mos ago. Remember do this for yourself. If you need to do this don't let your husband try to sway your decision. If you get loose skin so be it. I hope I don't, I am exercising a lot to try to avoid it, but if it happens it happens. At this point I'd rather be thin with loose skin than fat without it. Unfortunately by boobs are already saggy and deflated (have been for years) so I do plan to get a augmentation when I lose the weight and if my saggy skin is that bad, maybe I will fix it. But do this for you

[tanqueray 16]

JinTx you and I are so similar...both got scared at a doctors appt. and both decided to take control of our lives. Getting surgery is a drastic step for a drastic situation. I say this in all my posts--there is NO cure for obesity. But surgery is an option for symptom management and it was the best decision I made. I mentioned it to my husband one day then dropped the subject, Brought it up again a few weeks later to let me process what I said. He was hesistant but supported me because it was what I wanted and NEEDED. Without it, both of us knew I couldn't lose the amount of weight I needed on my own. He was scared for me because any surgery comes iwth risks, but he was there for me every step of the way and was my support during the difficult post-op stage. (difficult because you are only drinking Clear Liquids, then full liquids, then purees. Makes people cranky when you are that hungry!)

This is a decision that can save your life and I congratulate you on making it.