Help! I'm so stuck

[SandyH# 0]

Hi Kathy,

I have ten years on you in age and it seems we're in the same boat. I'm still working fulltime and am off recuperating from surgery on my ankle til May 13 and the food monster is haunting me. I've had the same experience - have b een able to eat anything I want since I got on regular food after the surgery, popcorn , steak, you name it. Obsess about food, if it's here I want to eat it..

I really do think that we are way too hard on ourselves and we are suffering from diet fatigue having fought this battle all my life at least. I have a sister in law who has been obese since the day I met her 35 years ago, who never did anything about her weight and three years ago she got the band and lost 88 lbs in a year and like you with your co-worker, it's hard to see her and not feel angry. Though I will admit the anger is at myself and that sure doesn't help me with the food monster. I wish I could just find the key to why I don't want to take care of myself the way I seem to take care of every one around me. Is that you too? I don't want to fail at this either and that's why I sought out this sight yesterday, I knew I wasn't the only one having this problem but it sure has felt like it for the last six months or so. I don't know about you but I have always had trouble asking people for help and I think that's also part of my problem. I still haven't decided if I will keep my appt. on 3/31 to have another fill, it will only be my third.

You've only gained back five and I know that you can keep it from becoming 5 more because you reached out to this site as well, you can turn it around. Now that I've finally gotten clearance to start rehab and can walk w/o the cast I'm going to start doing that at lunch-are you in a place where the weather is getting better and can do that at lunch? Stay in touch, we're not in this alone............Sandy in Ohio

Hi, my name is Kathy and I am new at this and this is my first post. Out of frustration, I thought I would join to see if anyone else is having the same problems as I am. I too had my surgery in April of 09, I lost a total of 32 lbs. and have now gained back 5. I too feel like such a failure. I no longer feel any restriction at all. I feel hungry all the time and the emmotional eating is out of control. I don't think emmotionally I can handle one more weight loss failure. I am 58 yrs. old and am tired of the fight. I have not lost a single pound in almost a year now. I went to the surgeon on Mon. and had a fill, but honestly I cannot tell the difference at all. My coworker had the same surgery after I did, weighed more than me and has lost 75lbs. and does not exercise at all and I know what she eats, and it is not as good as what I do. It is very hard to see her everyday and not feel angry.

[grammiem 0]

I have never heard of floro fill. What is it and how do they do it. I would love to be able to see if my band is positioned in the right place. For whatever reason, I just feel like it isn't. Maybe I am trying to find any reason why I haven't been successful with this plan either. Anyway, thank you for the encouragement and even though, I can't answer the replies right away and it seems I didn't get them, I really did. Thanks again for all your support and help. Kathy in PA

Kathy - don't give up. how did your fill go - does he do it under floro? my "new" doctor claims that that is the ONLY way to know if you have enough Fluid - he said the other way is just doing it blind. I do agree with him to a certain point - but my other doctor did just fine. - I too have a co-worker who had the surgery going on 3 years and has lost 150 pounds - so I feel your pain. but, you can do this - you are not alone. we have to learn, not to compare your success/failure to someone else. sometimes you just can't keep up with the jones. we are all individuals and we get what we put into it, sometimes the rewards are slow to come. but for me - I am going to hang on. at my old age, I am still learning - and it is so easy to fall back into my old patterns. but if I do - the next day I am going to start again. I like feeling like I do now - I don't want to go back. little steps

[54Shirley 105]

I was banded two years ago -April- 09. Did a great job for the first six months. Have come to a screeching halt and am struggling following the program. Went back to my surgeon for my last fill in Nov. 2010 and told her I was embarassed to come because I hadn't lost anything since my last visit. I got a fill and am supposed to go back next month but am ready to cancel and give up since I haven't lost anything. The emotional eating has gotten the best of me and this now seems like one more time that I've failed at wt. loss and it's been a life long process and I'm in my 60's. I just can't seem to get a handle on following the food plan or anything else. Sorry to whine but I'm really stuck.

[/quote

Don't throw in the towel.

[54Shirley 105]

I have never heard of floro fill. What is it and how do they do it. I would love to be able to see if my band is positioned in the right place. For whatever reason, I just feel like it isn't. Maybe I am trying to find any reason why I haven't been successful with this plan either. Anyway, thank you for the encouragement and even though, I can't answer the replies right away and it seems I didn't get them, I really did. Thanks again for all your support and help. Kathy in PA

It's like a x ray machine that they turn on, and keep on, and they see the whole layout of the band, what shape its in, where to stick the needle to see the fill going in.

Only way to go.

[jlball 0]

Wow- just reading this thread makes me feel better!! I, too, am in my 50's, did great but am struggling right now and have gained 14 lbs back of the 104 I had lost...now it's kind of like figuring out how to start ovcer. I am in such a better place and feel so good - yet still view myself as an obese person. All of my old demons have returned. About a month ago I had .4 cc removed as the fluroscope indicated I was way too tight and couldn't eat...since then, I feel like I can eat and eat(tho in reality that is not so) I am making poor choices and must remember that any weight loss is calories in/calories out.

I am trying to regroup - going to see the Psycxhologist tomorrow and meeting with a little support group of fellow bandsters for lunch. I probably should go in for a small fill but then feel as if I should be able to self-monitor - yet I am so out of control with my choices of food. I keep telling myself that it is the winter blues and that as soon as I can start walking again I will get remotivated. I actualy think I did this vcery same scenario last year which is even more frustrating as in reality I should have been able to reach my goal weight by now but am back to where I was in November...what a waste. I know I am not a failure coz I've come so far but I don't want to continue gaining - I want to conquer this and be a good role model for my daughters who need to follow in my foosteps. So much excuse making and emotional garbage. When I did my three months for insurance approval I never waivered and lost 42 lbs on my own...so now I have this fabulous tool and am not eating correctly. ugh

I appreciate everyone's support to everyone...WE CAN DO THIS. We will have ups and downs as life throws it's curve balls but how do we keep ourselves in check and focus on what we need to do to maintain. When life gets tough, we need to at least stay where we are - this gaining must stop!!!!

I am hoping that I can start walking outside later in the week...just need the temp to raise a few degrees. That is one activity that has many benefits. It is of course good exercise, but also gets me out of the house and away from food, fresh air, a different view, nature and an opportunity to think or talk. I have been religious about going to the gym 3 days a week, but lately have been slacking on the cardio...no wonder I'm gaining poor food choices, plus lck of cardio = poundage!! So, knowing all of that....why do I keep on??

Let's all set our "do over" day and JUST DO IT!!! The rewards will be felt in the summer and it will be soooo worth it!!

[54Shirley 105]

I'm 56. I lost over 120lbs. Then this Genius surgeon screwed up said my band was blown. I gained weight, got laid off, went back to him, and was thrown out.

It took 3 years, and I found another surgeon, and guess what, There is nothing wrong with the band ! He deflated it,and said it e\was blown.

So I am starting all over again, and you can look at my turtle and see what I lost. It's not much, but it's a start

I know that if we all hang in there, no matter how difficult your journey is. We all have a different story. Even though it's the same Band.

I was banded 10/31/2006, and I have a long way to go all over again. So don't throw in the towel.

Shirley.

[jlball 0]

Shirley,

That is so maddening ...after five years. I am so proud of you for not giving up...I will follow your lead! You are an inspiration!! Best of luck as you revisit the journey!

[54Shirley 105]

Shirley,

That is so maddening ...after five years. I am so proud of you for not giving up...I will follow your lead! You are an inspiration!! Best of luck as you revisit the journey!

I appreciate that, but,,,, it's hard when for 3 years you felt like you were failing! Your surgeon has you thrown out,and your told when you start losing weight, come back, and then we'll talk about a fill.

He was the one who told me my band was blown, and he said I will take out the fill, your way to swollen.

After being laid off for 3years here at that time in Detroit Area. Now I finally get my Ins.. I see a P.A. who looks at me under Fluoroscopy, and tells me there is nothing wrong with me. I just need to be filled, along with that they put in a acrylic in case of a leak it would seal it.

She was better with follow up care then the surgeon.

So now I see my new surgeon in April, who by the way was trained in the same Bariatric unit as my old surgeon. I hope he's not like him.

Mine was a Great Surgeon, but terrible in follow up care.

So that's how we start again.

[SandyH# 0]

Shirley, I also admire you so much for not giving up...way to go. Remember when you see the new Doc that they don't walk on Water and that it's your body and you're in charge but just need his help to get you and keep you on the right track. I had a similar problem with my first Dr. but the one I'm seeing now is much nicer to me than I am to myself. She told me to never not keep an appointment because I haven't lost or have gained because she wants to help and that's why she does what she does. Makes it even worse that I don't want to keep the appointment tomorrow because she's been nothing but kind. It's my own head that's the problem.

We can and will do this and it's nice to read the other posts and find out that we have company. Let's get this done ladies-we know we can.

I appreciate that, but,,,, it's hard when for 3 years you felt like you were failing! Your surgeon has you thrown out,and your told when you start losing weight, come back, and then we'll talk about a fill.

He was the one who told me my band was blown, and he said I will take out the fill, your way to swollen.

After being laid off for 3years here at that time in Detroit Area. Now I finally get my Ins.. I see a P.A. who looks at me under Fluoroscopy, and tells me there is nothing wrong with me. I just need to be filled, along with that they put in a acrylic in case of a leak it would seal it.

She was better with follow up care then the surgeon.

So now I see my new surgeon in April, who by the way was trained in the same Bariatric unit as my old surgeon. I hope he's not like him.

Mine was a Great Surgeon, but terrible in follow up care.

So that's how we start again.

[54Shirley 105]

Shirley, I also admire you so much for not giving up...way to go. Remember when you see the new Doc that they don't walk on Water and that it's your body and you're in charge but just need his help to get you and keep you on the right track. I had a similar problem with my first Dr. but the one I'm seeing now is much nicer to me than I am to myself. She told me to never not keep an appointment because I haven't lost or have gained because she wants to help and that's why she does what she does. Makes it even worse that I don't want to keep the appointment tomorrow because she's been nothing but kind. It's my own head that's the problem.

We can and will do this and it's nice to read the other posts and find out that we have company. Let's get this done ladies-we know we can.

Amen to that !