Spouses

[KatieRichardson 0]

I had my lapband done almost three full weeks ago. At the beginning of week three I started stage three. So I was having things that were a little more solid. I was trying fish and it wasnt going down very easy. It was going down just not smoothly. I chewed a little better and tried it again. It was just kinda sitting there, so I pushed my food away and I sat there politely hoping that feeling would pass. What I havent said was my husband and his buddy and I were out to dinner at a local place. I sat there for a few minutes and then stupidly and blindly reached over and took a sip of my Water. That very second I knew I was in trouble it was the first time something was going to come back up. So I sat there for a second and then thought I better go to the restroom. So I excused myself and made it to the restroom but as soon as I hit that door it came up. Thank god the restroom was empty. Everything was fine it was just the water. I surely expected more the come back up but whatever. So I waited a few to make sure I was fine and went back to the table. My husband and his buddy were laughing but I didnt think anything about it. They got quite and then kept on talking. Oh did I mention this was suppose to be date night, but he invited his friend anyway. So needless to say I already felt out of place, and now I was upset with myself and a little shaking up because that had never happened before. But being Im not a crybaby I put on the brave face and acted normal. After they finished eating we left, and as soon as we got outside my husband busts out laughing talking about how red my face got and he started makign fun of me. I was really upset but didnt want to show my ass infront of this other guy. I told him it wasnt funny and that it scared me but then he just laughed even more, saying everyone throws up I should just get over it. Then we go to the movies. I have to sit there between the two of them PISSED OFF for two hours. So then we leave and get home, I havent said anything the whole time. The guy says bye and gets in his car to leave. My husband and I go inside. I swear to god I didnt even get all the way in the house before he starts up again. About how funny it was, how he knew because my face turned red. He didnt even care if I was okay, didnt even care after I told him it wasnt funny again, He still didnt care as I started to cry. I left the room and he was still giggling to himself. Then I lost it, I was in another room crying and he had yet to even really ask me if I was okay. My husband is not a jerk so I dont understand why he acted like that. His excuse was because Im so open about it and I will talk to people about my surgery openly he didnt see a problem with him telling his buddy I was throwing up. No, I kinda didnt have a problem with that. I had a problem with them, mainly him laughing at me. And on and off for over three hours! I just dont know what to do. Now I wont eat around him. Im scared myself anyway, but now I dont trust him.

[mommymya 1]

I had my lapband done almost three full weeks ago. At the beginning of week three I started stage three. So I was having things that were a little more solid. I was trying fish and it wasnt going down very easy. It was going down just not smoothly. I chewed a little better and tried it again. It was just kinda sitting there, so I pushed my food away and I sat there politely hoping that feeling would pass. What I havent said was my husband and his buddy and I were out to dinner at a local place. I sat there for a few minutes and then stupidly and blindly reached over and took a sip of my Water. That very second I knew I was in trouble it was the first time something was going to come back up. So I sat there for a second and then thought I better go to the restroom. So I excused myself and made it to the restroom but as soon as I hit that door it came up. Thank god the restroom was empty. Everything was fine it was just the Water. I surely expected more the come back up but whatever. So I waited a few to make sure I was fine and went back to the table. My husband and his buddy were laughing but I didnt think anything about it. They got quite and then kept on talking. Oh did I mention this was suppose to be date night, but he invited his friend anyway. So needless to say I already felt out of place, and now I was upset with myself and a little shaking up because that had never happened before. But being Im not a crybaby I put on the brave face and acted normal. After they finished eating we left, and as soon as we got outside my husband busts out laughing talking about how red my face got and he started makign fun of me. I was really upset but didnt want to show my ass infront of this other guy. I told him it wasnt funny and that it scared me but then he just laughed even more, saying everyone throws up I should just get over it. Then we go to the movies. I have to sit there between the two of them PISSED OFF for two hours. So then we leave and get home, I havent said anything the whole time. The guy says bye and gets in his car to leave. My husband and I go inside. I swear to god I didnt even get all the way in the house before he starts up again. About how funny it was, how he knew because my face turned red. He didnt even care if I was okay, didnt even care after I told him it wasnt funny again, He still didnt care as I started to cry. I left the room and he was still giggling to himself. Then I lost it, I was in another room crying and he had yet to even really ask me if I was okay. My husband is not a jerk so I dont understand why he acted like that. His excuse was because Im so open about it and I will talk to people about my surgery openly he didnt see a problem with him telling his buddy I was throwing up. No, I kinda didnt have a problem with that. I had a problem with them, mainly him laughing at me. And on and off for over three hours! I just dont know what to do. Now I wont eat around him. Im scared myself anyway, but now I dont trust him.

First off, here's some cheesy internet hugs (((hugs))). I am SO SORRY you had to go through this. No matter how open you are about the surgery, I believe you still deserve respect while you are going through all these new life/lifestyle changes. Possibly he was uncomfortable that it happened in front of his friend and chose to make lite of it. At any rate, it would have really hurt my feelings and I would be feeling just about how you are about it. Unfortunately it is really hard for others on the outside to know all of the things that you are going through: the fear, the excitement, the embarrassment, the self doubt, whatever. There are so many things we go through in this journey. Hold your head high and try not to let other peoples views get in the way of your goals. Coming from experience, there will be many many speedbumps. Even from those that you love the most, and who love you. Take things slow, and you will find a balance. You are still very new to banded eating. Hang in there.

[Rsilversea 2]

Thank God I have a (mostly) understanding spouse. My advice is to talk to him after you've calmed down a bit (maybe like a day or two) and explain the problem. Tell him you need his support and that you were very hurt by his laughter. If that doesn't work, tell him what would tell my husband--"Next time I'll just barf on you and then we'll see who's laughing."

[Humming Bird 275]

Men can really be "boys" at times.

[WitchyArmyWife98 0]

yes men can be clueless! I am on my pre-op diet and my hubby brought home macadamia nut white chocolate Cookies, go figure.