How much weight have you lost? I am tired of this question!

[BrenM 0]

Then that makes MUCH more sense. But possibly the following replies infiltrated some context that should not have been implied. I retract my irritation.

And I say... just let them ask.... and then... be sharp, be tactful, and educate them if you must.

It's sort of like the mountain of women who have comlpetely crossed the line about how my husband looks. I'm uncertain how I'm even suppose to respond to these women, let alone how appropriate or inappropriate it is for them to be vocally slobbering over him. And we had to think... what do you say, how do you give these people an eduation with your reply or lack thereof? I always say it's better to keep your head held high, but you can also quite effectively give people a spanking for the inappropriate rudeness. I mean, I'm not asking women... So how's that boob job working out for ya? What doctor did you go to??? Did you have a face lift??? You look SOOO MUCH YOUNGER!! Oh MY GOD BILL, Did you quit drinking, you've lost your beer belly. June says that enzyte is really helping your errectile dysfunction.

If you've come up with some smooth ways to deal with the near strangers who rudely ask questions... let us all know.

Thanks, Rainydayz. I was confused by the post, also.

Bren, yes, I am referring to other people in my life.

[jboo518 1]

I am fairly new to this because I was banded last wk. My first day back to work this wk I was quite irritated when a girl asked me how much I lost. I told her 5lbs and she said oh thats it. This is the same girl I told before I went for surgery that the first 6wks isn't about losing, and then she said that. Some ppl are just really stupid. I think when ppl hear you had weight loss surgery they expect you to lose fast like the gastric bypass and when you don't, they assume your failing. I think next time I'm just going to be honest and tell her shes an idiot. lol

[Mrs.Doxie 1]

I can TOTALLY relate! Most of the time I don't mind because of HOW it is woven into the conversation, but there is one woman at work that asks me almost weekly. She always starts with a positive comment like "It's the incredible shrinking woman...how much weight have you lost?" or "The weight just seems to be falling off of you...how much weight have you lost?" or "You look really great...how much weight have you lost?"

First off, there is nothing "incredible" to it. I took the steps necessary to make it happen and am busting my butt and doing everything I am supposed to be doing. Second, I promise you the weight is NOT falling off of me. I am losing an average of 1-2 pounds each week. This week was Spring Break and I was just happy the scale didn't move in either direction. I am ok with 1-2 pounds per week, but that definitely is not falling anywhere (unless you count "the girls"...they've fallen and I'm not sure they will EVER get up). Finally, if I look great, just stop there. That way I can say "thank you" and we can both move on.

I have finally started replying with "I don't really know, I've been avoiding the scale and just focusing on getting healthy."

Thanks for bringing up this sore subject!

[Keia 4]

Ok, I'm talking to one of my friends on the telephone and I told her about my post. I love her dearly and talk to her everyday...she doesn't understand either. She said it's natural for people to ask. I agree, but I just don't want people to lead with that question at the beginning of the conversation.

Literally five minutes after my initial post, one of my friends called. I haven't talked to her in about a month. So just guess what her first question was?

Ok, I give up. LOL

[Rainydayz 3]

I like the idea of changing the subject (southern belle-like) and also about saying I don't pay attention to the scale. I'm hoping that it doesn't happen too much to me afterward because I haven't been around any of my old friends since I've gained so much weight. So I plan on just showing up at my reunion next summer and no one will know I ever got so big. But as far as people I see everyday I will probably use the changing the subject idea. I really think it's rude to point out that someone used to be as big as a house! But I know most people just don't think before they talk.

[reverie 49]

I sorta like when people ask; usually means they care and are actually interested. It was annoying at first but now the how much have you lost questions have turned into the "are you done losing yet; you're so skinny" comments. Love it

[Jess55 97]

I think that is one reason there are very few people who know I have had surgery. Sure I've had a some people ask how much I've lost, but most just comment and say, you look good, you've lost so much weight. I did not want to have to tell people a number. I am slow losing and averaging like 1 pd a week. But I look a lot smaller, because I am losing inches, because of the type of activity I am doing. But the few people that have asked me, I told one, but the others, I just say I don't really want to say. I feel it is my business. Maybe in the end I'll tell them how much I've lost, but for now, it is my business.

[TracyNYC 4]

I never know what to say when people make a statement: Oh, you've lost so much weight.

If they say You look great at the end, at least I can say Thank you. But with just the blanket statement, I never now how to respond: Yeah, Duh-Yes-Yep....I do think people mean well, but it can be annoying.

One rude woman at work constantly makes comments. After I lost about 40 lbs, she said to me,"Too bad the surgery didn't work. You are bigger than ever."

This is the same one who handed me a diet plan in front of colleagues and said she had been saving it all summer to give to me. The kicker is that she is overweight herself. Probably medically obese herself. At first I thought it was cultural or age. Now I know she is just freakin rude.

[TracyNYC 4]

I never know what to say when people make a statement: Oh, you've lost so much weight.

If they say You look great at the end, at least I can say Thank you. But with just the blanket statement, I never now how to respond: Yeah, Duh-Yes-Yep....I do think people mean well, but it can be annoying.

One rude woman at work constantly makes comments. After I lost about 40 lbs, she said to me,"Too bad the surgery didn't work. You are bigger than ever."

This is the same one who handed me a diet plan in front of colleagues and said she had been saving it all summer to give to me. The kicker is that she is overweight herself. Probably medically obese herself. At first I thought it was cultural or age. Now I know she is just freakin rude.

[AquarianCrab 8]

When people at work ask, I say "don't know, don't care, as long as my health keeps improving". That (I hope) gives them a clear message of what is important. The problem I have is with my mother and my adult son. They are both the vainest virgos I know, and nothing is more important to them than being in perfect physical appearance. They hound me relentlessly. To them, a one pound loss is failure. Then just today my dad stopped by, and he said "are you still losing anything? are you sure you're eating the right stuff?" Last week my sister (also a vain virgo) told me how much she's lost on her new diet, then asked me how much I've lost like it's a contest. When I told her, she said "at least I'm doing it on my own". Actually, I think it is a contest to her because she started her diet on my surgery day. She told the girls she works with that her sister had lap band surgery (none of their business in my book) and there's no way she's letting me get skinnier than her. So while neighbors and people at work annoy me, my family is downright hurtful.

[Keia 4]

One rude woman at work constantly makes comments. After I lost about 40 lbs, she said to me,"Too bad the surgery didn't work. You are bigger than ever."

This is the same one who handed me a diet plan in front of colleagues and said she had been saving it all summer to give to me. The kicker is that she is overweight herself. Probably medically obese herself. At first I thought it was cultural or age. Now I know she is just freakin rude.

I knew before you said it, that she was overweight, too. Forget her, she's just jealous. And rude!

[Keia 4]

When people at work ask, I say "don't know, don't care, as long as my health keeps improving". That (I hope) gives them a clear message of what is important. The problem I have is with my mother and my adult son. They are both the vainest virgos I know, and nothing is more important to them than being in perfect physical appearance. They hound me relentlessly. To them, a one pound loss is failure. Then just today my dad stopped by, and he said "are you still losing anything? are you sure you're eating the right stuff?" Last week my sister (also a vain virgo) told me how much she's lost on her new diet, then asked me how much I've lost like it's a contest. When I told her, she said "at least I'm doing it on my own". Actually, I think it is a contest to her because she started her diet on my surgery day. She told the girls she works with that her sister had lap band surgery (none of their business in my book) and there's no way she's letting me get skinnier than her. So while neighbors and people at work annoy me, my family is downright hurtful.

Family is usually the worse. I don't know why life has to be a competition. We need to support each other not compete.

I have four cousins and three friends who have all had gastric bypass. This group doesn't mean any harm, but they don't understand why I'm losing so slowly. They understand that banders loose slowly, but...

[topazz 4]

Same here. I agree that if you don't have much of a weight loss to report, it gets awkward! I really don't like people asking how much because I don't need them keeping the tally in their heads of how much I have lost and trying to figure out how much I weigh!

[Rainydayz 3]

I wish we could come up with a definitive way to shut up rude people when they ask and make rude comments. I think "you look great" is fine but when they ask how much have you lost or what do you weigh now or make it a contest then we need to come up with some snappy come-backs. I want to be ready when it's my turn!

[jenn79co 13]

I'm glad my husband is in the navy! We will move in less than 2 years and by that time I should be down to my goal.

We will be in a new place, so no one will know I was ever morbidly obese! Those weightloss questions should fizzle out for me.

My friends and family back home in Tx rarely ask how much I have lost. They consider that rude! Thank goodness! Lol