"My kids just don't like vegetables!"

[Birinak 19]

I hear people say this A LOT, but it never made sense to me. I mostly hear this from fellow dieters who also say: "I always have to be around food that's not healthy for me, but what can I do? I have kids."

If it's not healthy for you, it's not healthy for them! Right? I really just don't know why (some, but truthfully many) people feel that they have to keep these foods in the house for their children. Not only does feeding them the foods that got you to your situation set their habits and tastes for food for life, but they're just plain bad for the health of a small body. I can understand the occasional treat, but consciously feeding things like coca-cola (yes, even diet soda), kool-aid, chicken-nuggets, fries, pop-tarts, and, my god, what passes for "children's Cereal, " which consists of powdered sugar on usually white processed wheat, I really don't understand it. Even when parents think they're feeding their kids "healthy" foods, they feed them fruit roll-ups, fishsticks, artificially coloured and flavoured fruit yogurt, and fruit juice that's mostly artificial sugar and Water. Just containing the word "fruit," doesn't make these foods even a close approximation to healthy.

Speaking generally of Western culture (although I love it in most respects much more than my own heritage's culture), I remember from my days in a North American elementary school that food such as these were brought by kids as daily lunches (lunchables, dunkaroos, pizza pops). When I went to my friends' houses, I was often really taken aback by the fact that they ALWAYS had a full supply of pop, ice-cream, pogos, waffles (etc) in the fridge. They always ate fruit-loops or greasy bacon/sausages for Breakfast. They're reaction to vegetables was "ewww!!!" and they learned from an early age that their own parents have to force-feed themselves raw vegetables or load it with thick Salad Dressing just for the sake of "being good" in their diet. Many children with good metabolisms and high activity actually might not get fat from these items, but these things on a regular basis are horrible for their systems. And eventually, by the time they're 30, their metabolisms fall behind, while their taste in food is set.

Now, obviously, I don't, myself, have a healthy approach to food. I eat too much of good, natural food. And, I spend a lot of the day reading, or sitting in class/the lab/at the computer, so I'm very sedentary. But I'm the only one in my entire extended family who is overweight and still I really love fruits and vegetables, but that's because my mother surrounded me with them and I never saw her have to force herself to eat vegetables, and she ate a wider variety of vegetables than only celery and carrot sticks at that. She never had to load up the fruit and vegetables in our house with Peanut Butter or cheese wiz to make it more "edible" and my brother and I used to argue over which one of us got that last piece of broccoli. The one thing that she could not control was my wacky portion sizes once I started plating food myself. She really tried, and she even tried to kick me out each day to go and play, but these behaviours are much harder to control than consciously bringing bad foods into the house.

I just hear too many times that "my kids just don't like vegetables." Just look at commercials and the way that North American and British adults are told new ways to sneak vegetables into their kids' foods. Look at those V8 commercials. OMG, you mean if I drink this, I don't have to eat any vegetables? Or how about "it tastes like white bread, but it has the nutrition of whole wheat." For god's sake, stripping bread of its natural nutrients, and mixing in artificial supplements doesn't make it healthy! These campaigns work and are sooo ubiquitous precisely because these sentiments exist and are ubiquitous.

It's not true that "childhood" and "liking vegetables" are inherently mutually exclusive concepts. Kids don't like vegetables because they weren't taught to by their parents in a way that was convincing and natural. Kids are perceptive and they are watching you. They see how you react to and speak about fries, and how you react to and speak about brussel sprouts.

I know, I know--I'm blabbering on with this rant (but no one made you read this far. You're probably just a masochist ). And, I know that some people are going to take great offense to this. That's fine. I expect it and it won't hurt me if you do. But, just so that you understand my intentions, I should say that I really don't mean this to be offensive. First, if it doesn't apply to you, there's no reason to take personal offense. Second, if it does, I'm sure that you can understand that this is done out of a genuine concern for a very grave problem. I just really would like people, if this applies to them, to reconsider this too common mentality that exists in some Western countries.

It's a vicious cycle and I know that many overweight adults have difficulties switching to a healthier diet because of a disgust for healthy food that was formed at an early age. For them, there is no appetizing alternative to fat or sugary foods. The wrong associations that you construct in childhood are very difficult to break.

I'm saying that your kids can love vegetables, if you start things right. We all have weaknesses, but we should never consciously pass on our learned weaknesses to our children. And grocery-shopping is a conscious, weekily decision.

Wow, it really feels good to finally say this after all these years! If you don't agree, I welcome your critique of my opinions, but only if you use your indoor voice.

[cheryl2586 3,053]

Its all true. I read an alarming article that said by 2053 100% one hundred percent of Americans will be obese. That is sad and it doesn't have to be if people teach their kids to eat healthy and stop patronizing these fast food places that are loaded with death. Even the salads they offer are over 400 calories yikes I can make a nice salad at home with only 200 calories and it is filling with fresh vegetables. I have learned to love vegetables they are good and healthy and I dont feel tired anymore from not eating junk. I feel energized and ready to get up in the morning not wanting to stay in bed because the carbs got me there. I love being healthy and watching everything I put in my mouth every moment of the day. Some say its radical but I can not afford to go back to being an unhealthy person. Bravo for this post.

[Rsilversea 2]

Actually, that's one of the reasons I had the surgery. I don't want my 3 year old picking up my bad habits by watching me. I need to change the way I eat and cook better meals for the family. We're trying to expand his palate right now since all he will eat is macaroni, macaroni and cheese, cheese sticks, applesauce, yogurt and oatmeal. The oatmeal was a recent win for us. Now he will eat french fries (yeah, bad choice) and ketchup. He loves candy and chocolate milk. I don't keep either in the house but he gets it grandma's (he doesn't go there often). I make sure he knows that those are treats. I have said over and over to my husband that we will have to monitor The Boy's eating to make sure he doesn't end up like Mommy. Hopefully he will watch my new habits and start to adopt them.

[jenn79co 13]

I will use my indoor voice. Lol

I have a daughter who will not try anything new.

Do you have kids, if so maybe you have a way to get them to try new things? Cause i'm at my whits end!

I as a parent hate the fact my daughter has a limited diet. Not for lack of trying btw, I loV e vegetables and fruit.

I have talked to her ped about it and she says she is normal weight and is healthy. She said you can't force food you want her to eat down her throat.

So idk at least shes eating. We went through that phase also! Lol

[jenn79co 13]

I will use my indoor voice. Lol

I have a daughter who will not try anything new.

Do you have kids, if so maybe you have a way to get them to try new things? Cause i'm at my whits end!

I as a parent hate the fact my daughter has a limited diet. Not for lack of trying btw, I loV e vegetables and fruit.

I have talked to her ped about it and she says she is normal weight and is healthy. She said you can't force food you want her to eat down her throat.

So idk at least shes eating. We went through that phase also! Lol

Side note, my daughter is a very active child. Tball, soccer, 2 hours of dance a week. Gets home from school rides her bike, or scooter with the other neighborhood kids till dark!

If I can't get her to eat right at least she is active. Lol maybe i'm getting it half right!

[Birinak 19]

I will use my indoor voice. Lol

I have a daughter who will not try anything new.

Do you have kids, if so maybe you have a way to get them to try new things? Cause i'm at my whits end!

I as a parent hate the fact my daughter has a limited diet. Not for lack of trying btw, I loV e vegetables and fruit.

I have talked to her ped about it and she says she is normal weight and is healthy. She said you can't force food you want her to eat down her throat.

So idk at least shes eating. We went through that phase also! Lol

Hey. I actually understand where you're coming from. Actually, my sister is the picky eater of the family and she doesn't love all vegetables as much as everyone else in the family. However, she does eat vegetables and fruits every day on her own initiative, and that's because she still does enjoy them much more than the average North American. She just sticks to many of the usual vegetables and fruits, and is less varied in her produce.

Just like how I grew up in a family as the only person who was overweight since childhood (with a naturally ravenous appetite and sedentary book-worm personality), there is definitely normal variation between individuals that occurs naturally. Genetics and neurology can account for SOME of a person's taste in food and tendencies.

That being said, if my sister was raised in the typical North American household, she'd be the picky eater who only ate french fries and chicken nuggets and was physically revolted by lettuce.

First, I think you should examine your household overall for others who display a negative attitude toward vegetables. If they are children, you may have an environmental factor going on. If they are adults, you should encourage them to pretend, in her presence, that they enjoy vegetables or at least fruit (they can stick to their favourite ones in front of her).

Next, I agree with your physician. It would actually have the opposite of the desired effect if you try to force her either physically or emotionally to eat her fruits and veggies. She will make the association that veggies = upset, discomfort, humiliation, your disappointment and she will always regard them as a dietary obligation, rather than an enjoyable food to consume.

One general strategy to getting them to like vegetables and fruits is: always have it around them, even if they don't eat them. Always have different forms (salad, cooked). Put out fruit salad on the table or a bowl of easy-to-enjoy fruit (grapes, apples, bananas, watermelon, peaches). Don't start out with brussel sprouts, start with carrots, peas etc. For picky eaters, really concentrate on fruit. Pick veggies and fruits without strong tastes or smells.

My mother always offered new veggies and fruits, and since they were new to us, we sometimes resisted. But, we always saw it on the table, she always ate it with a real appearance of enjoyment (she'd act like it was chocolate cake and to her it usually was like that), and she always offered it (IN REPEATED INSTANCES), but with a smile and with the attitude that it is so tasty and healthy. And, "really, you're going to pass up an offer to eat this fruit? Oh my gosh, i don't know how you can!"

This is what I did when I tried to introduce my teenage younger brother to steamed beets. He saw me eat them all the time and I always told him: "Dean, you have to try this! It's sooo good for you, and even if you don't like it now, believe me you'll love it later! Try it with salt, try it with yogurt. Alright, your loss! You'll like it someday. Trust me, I didn't like it at first either"

Eventually, he was curious. I repeatedly offered, but in a positive tone, and now he loves it.

Remember, even if you don't believe it yourself, YOU HAVE TO FAKE IT TO MAKE IT! Be convincing. And don't let them see you express more interest in bad foods than good ones. Try to be balanced about it. All foods are good in moderation, even the occasional treat. But, even if you only go to McDonald's once a year, if at that time you act like you are in heaven, but you eat salads every day and you act like it's a dietary obligation, they will notice.

[Birinak 19]

Side note, my daughter is a very active child. Tball, soccer, 2 hours of dance a week. Gets home from school rides her bike, or scooter with the other neighborhood kids till dark!

If I can't get her to eat right at least she is active. Lol maybe i'm getting it half right!

That's great that your child is physically active. That's something that, as a young adult, I have to push myself for. Again, my mother was always physically active. She has almost exactly the same body skeletal frame as I do (very petite, almost the same proportions, hell, even a similar face). Funnily enough, my grandmother has the same frame and a similar face, and I was the only child to inherit all these traits in one package. Anyway! Going off on a tangent! My point is that the difference between me and the two of them is that both are slim. There is sudden natural variability in temperament. You might not necessarily be the one negatively influencing her eating choices (so, you might not be getting "half-wrong"). It could also be someone else in the family. But, for most families, this attitude toward vegetables and fruit is across the board shared and expressed in front of young children.

My final point that I wanted to make is that this process is going to be gradual with picky eaters. Don't expect for them to try a new fruit or vegetable even the fifth time they see you eat it with enjoyment. Keep it around them. Cut it up for them and for yourself in a bowl. Make sure to eat some every time.

Also, try many different types of veggies and fruit. They don't have to like this specific fruit or veg that you're introducing. I'm sure that even I have a veggie that I don't like (I don't like cilantro very much, actually). Offer many until you land on one that they at least don't hate and, keep that on the menu, and always try others.

Finally, even if your kid doesn't like fruit and veggies, it doesn't mean that you have to offer them fries or whatever bad foods that they do like (I'm not saying that you are, just a general point). Believe me, they're programmed not to want to starve to death. Make available to them many good foods, and they will go to the fridge and eat the good foods that they mind the least when they are hungry. Never make pop (even diet pop), sugared juices, non-healthy (non-bran, or high-sugar) cereals available REGULARLY, because that will always be what they go for when they're hungry.

[jenn79co 13]

Well thats pretty much the norm around here. Lol

I have salad everyday and everyday I ask her if she wants to try it........nope.

Fruits are always available here thats still a no.

There are 3 of us in our household, my husband and I have never showed a negative attitude towards food. I hate mcdonalds food so no heavenly attitude there. Lol yuck!

I think its just going to take time before she shows any interest in new food.

I was pretty picky about food until I was about 18 years old. But that was because I was tramatized by my mothers cooking! (yes it was that bad!)

Time, I think it will work itself out.

[Birinak 19]

Well thats pretty much the norm around here. Lol

I have salad everyday and everyday I ask her if she wants to try it........nope.

Fruits are always available here thats still a no.

There are 3 of us in our household, my husband and I have never showed a negative attitude towards food. I hate mcdonalds food so no heavenly attitude there. Lol yuck!

I think its just going to take time before she shows any interest in new food.

I was pretty picky about food until I was about 18 years old. But that was because I was tramatized by my mothers cooking! (yes it was that bad!)

Time, I think it will work itself out.

That's very true. There are kids that are picky eaters when they're young and they grow out of it by their later years. The difference between them (like my sister, like yourself) and those who at the age of 50 feel depressed at the thought of eating non-cheese-wiz doused veggies is that they were either exposed to a good nutritional education outside the home (the least effective way), they were surrounded by fruits/veggies and positive attitudes towards them, or they had a sudden epiphany after childhood (very rare, since it would have to be one that actually changed their taste in food, and not one that only motivated them, for the sake of dietary health, to eat better (as is more typical)).

Anyhow, it's really great that you're putting in the effort and providing your daughter with the right environment. You're doing all of the right things. I'm sure that it will click once she gets over the finnicky stage.

[ElfiePoo 109]

<putting my flak jacket on>

*We* turn our children into picky eaters by giving in and letting them eat what they want.

Giving in and letting our children control what they eat starts when they're infants. When a child refuses to eat something, and the parent gives in and makes them something they do want, the parent is basically telling the child it's ok to refuse food you don't like and replace it with food you do...even if the alternative is not as healthy...or healthy at all. Many parents do it because they're afraid their child will starve. No child will deliberately starve themselves. At some point, they'll eat because they're hungry.

If our children wanted to go play in the middle of busy traffic, would we let them? Of course not. So why would we let them dictate what they're going to eat?

.

[Birinak 19]

<putting my flak jacket on>

*We* turn our children into picky eaters by giving in and letting them eat what they want.

Giving in and letting our children control what they eat starts when they're infants. When a child refuses to eat something, and the parent gives in and makes them something they do want, the parent is basically telling the child it's ok to refuse food you don't like and replace it with food you do...even if the alternative is not as healthy...or healthy at all. Many parents do it because they're afraid their child will starve. No child will deliberately starve themselves. At some point, they'll eat because they're hungry.

If our children wanted to go play in the middle of busy traffic, would we let them? Of course not. So why would we let them dictate what they're going to eat?

.

I think you're quite right. There is no reason why you should give in by providing constant access to bad foods in the house (you also should teach them that they should be able to enjoy a possibly fattening/sugary treat in moderation). The only thing that I would emphasize is that, no matter what, the "eating experience" or the quality time at the dinner table should not be turned into a genuinely negative experience for the child. They will eventually have the freedom to buy their own foods (even before they move out; sneakily, as a teenager with an allowance). You want to make sure that they actually come to appreciate healthy food just for the sake of its being delicious if prepared in a (healthy) way that they prefer.

But yes, if they grow up surrounded by healthy food and have no other unhealthy foods to fall back on, they will come around.

[jenn79co 13]

<putting my flak jacket on>

*We* turn our children into picky eaters by giving in and letting them eat what they want.

Giving in and letting our children control what they eat starts when they're infants. When a child refuses to eat something, and the parent gives in and makes them something they do want, the parent is basically telling the child it's ok to refuse food you don't like and replace it with food you do...even if the alternative is not as healthy...or healthy at all. Many parents do it because they're afraid their child will starve. No child will deliberately starve themselves. At some point, they'll eat because they're hungry.

If our children wanted to go play in the middle of busy traffic, would we let them? Of course not. So why would we let them dictate what they're going to eat?

.

You haven't met my daughter! Its easy to say they will eat it if they are hungry enough. But that is not the case with mine.

And I did feed her healthy as an infant and toddler. Then one day she just didnt want it anymore.

[jenn79co 13]

I didn't mean that last post ugly in anyway, I meant to put in a couole of lol's!

[Birinak 19]

I didn't mean that last post ugly in anyway, I meant to put in a couole of lol's!

Your comment really hasn't come off in any way negatively, at least that was my feeling from reading it and I'll take you at your word about your intention too. You really kept your promise of using your indoor voice. hahaha Actually, everyone's been a lot more civil than I expected. I really thought I'd get "How DARE you!" a few times at least.

[ElfiePoo 109]

Jenn,

I didn't think it came off as nasty.

.