You've read the success stories...now read about a failure.

[Cheryl Ann 2]

I was banded on April 7, 2008 -- almost three years ago -- and went from around 250+ pounds to around 190. That in itself isn't exactly an entirely successful weight loss story, largely because I've never quite learned to eat slowly as I should, nor have I been able to keep away from sweets entirely (although lately I've been better). In the past several year or so, my weight has creeped up to around 201.

I haven't been back to see my surgeon in more than a year and a half; I've been too ashamed, and frankly am afraid I will be a disappointment to her. I now have a visit scheduled for next week -- along with an esophogram, for which I am also long overdue.

The reason I finally called for an appointment and esophogram is that I'm afraid my band may have slipped. Although it doesn't happen every night, some nights I cough constantly, spitting up Fluid onto my pillow. Other nights, I seem to "foam" constantly, requiring that I run to the bathroom to spit. Other nights -- like last night -- I've had no problem whatsoever.

I was given a gift -- a new start that so many people would give anything to have -- and didn't make full use of it as I should have. If it turns out the band hasn't slipped, can I still lose weight if I try, even at this stage of the game (three years later)? If it has, does it have to be removed? Even though I have not lost all the weight I had intended, I can't say that I'm entirely unhappy; after all, I'm still considerably thinner than I was three years ago, even with the recent weight gain (which seems to have leveled off).

I feel like such a failure, because I am.

[reverie 49]

Sorry to hear about your situation though it is best that you are going to see your surgeon. Your band may be too tight or like you said, it may have slipped. Usually the fix to a slip is a complete unfill which allows your stomach to rest in hopes that the band repositions itself in a proper position. Sometimes surgery is required to fix it though studies show that the chance of a second slip are highly likely when one has occured previously. Of course it depends on how bad the slip is, how long you've had it, and so on...

If your band hasn't slipped I do think you can pick yourself back up and start over again. You have what you need, now use it. Go back to the beginning; do a liquid diet for a week, eat right, exercise, limit the sweets, etc. I was never a big sweets eater but find a way to get them out of the house and then find a healthier replacement. For example, I love Reeses. Instead of indulging on them I'll eat a mini one every now and then, or I'll make a chocolate Protein shake with PB. Not the same but it hits the spot.

Good luck and know that you always have support here.

[Cheryl Ann 2]

I've been on liquid and soft foods for the past week or so...have lost about three pounds in the meantime, which is encouraging. What has puzzled me for a long time is that (prior to this possible slip) I was at times unable to keep even liquids down, and yet at other times able to eat a solid meal with no issues whatsoever -- even more than what I thought I'd be capable of. Usually, my inability to keep down food happens at home -- the kids running around a fighting, etc. -- and my ability to enjoy an entire meal without having to run to the bathroom at a restaurant with other people. I suppose tension plays a role (as well as time of day, definitely).

I just hope my band hasn't slipped. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

[loralee 2]

I've been on liquid and soft foods for the past week or so...have lost about three pounds in the meantime, which is encouraging. What has puzzled me for a long time is that (prior to this possible slip) I was at times unable to keep even liquids down, and yet at other times able to eat a solid meal with no issues whatsoever -- even more than what I thought I'd be capable of. Usually, my inability to keep down food happens at home -- the kids running around a fighting, etc. -- and my ability to enjoy an entire meal without having to run to the bathroom at a restaurant with other people. I suppose tension plays a role (as well as time of day, definitely).

I just hope my band hasn't slipped. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Cheryl Ann--You are not a failure. Sure you haven't reached your goal, but you've lost 20% of your body weight. That by itself significantly reduces your diabetes risk and likely decreases other health risks. If your doctor okays it, do like reverie said and just pick yourself up and start again! You can do this!!

[ElfiePoo 109]

Cheryl Ann,

A failure is someone who gives up completely and stops trying. You were just taking a vacation.

You've taken the first step back in the right direction by making an appointment with your doctor. If it has slipped, it's my understanding that it can be repaired. Some people have had the band just readjusted and stitched back into position with a complete unfill. Others have had their band out and were required to have a 'rest' period. Whether this is just another of the different quirks of each surgeon or whether there's a reason I don't know. I wouldn't stress about it because, at this point, it is what it is.

Some people are successful at cutting back on their sweets or carbs. I'm not one of them. Most likely due to my diabetes, I'm extremely sensitive to carbs and, like an alcoholic, have to avoid them completely. You'll have to decide whether it's something you can control or must avoid.

Good luck.

[FailureIsntAnOption 0]

Cheryl Ann,

I don't see you as a failure at all! Seems you have done pretty well. I wouldn't get too upset about an 11 pound gain, I would start back at the basics.....protein first and start journaling if it helps you. If you aren't, I would get back to an exercise routine ASAP.

Best wishes!

[eko 1]

Every day is a new opportunity to start again. If your band is okay, tomorrow is another day! I hope is all is well with your band!

[OH Juli 15]

Everyone can start over. That's why we go to bed and wake up in the morning. You got it in you to do it!

I hope you get your medical stuff rectified so you can live with the band happily.

[laceylooloo 0]

Hi cheryl-ann

I am just like you but was only banded august last year at starting weight 130kgs(286lbs) and is now down to 117kgs(257lbs). I have just got restriction and it is a constant battle to stay away from bad foods.But in the last few weeks i picked my self up off the floor and slowly(veryslowy) but surely the kgs are coming off.Tomoro is a different day ,forget what u did in the past.And if u cant strict urself just start by changing one aspect, like something in ur diet that has high calories eg coke to diet coke or high fat to low fat.I have a very overweight partner 162kgs(356lbs) but he refuses to address his weight so all i did was buy the things he wanted but low-fat and healthier choices , without him knowing he has dramatically change his calorie intake.There are some people that when they get the band they drop weight so quickly, sometimes even without exercise. Then there are others that eat around the band or have what i call the stubborn fat that even though u exercise and eat well it still is so damn slow to come off.We wont drop weight quickly but we can still loose it just will take longer but we can do it.If u have a bad day thats all it is a bad DAY, the next day get back up and carry on.

I wish you the best of luck

[Humming Bird 275]

Cheryl Ann, Thanks for sharing. Don't feel bad about going back to the surgeon. It is a positive step and you need to do it for yourself. Sometimes it seems like we have been programed to take care of everyone except us. Keep your head held high and go take care of you. Let us know how it goes.

[KimK813 2]

Please remember that the only person you can truly disappoint in life is yourself. Remember that you have a goal and refocus. Have faith in yourself, everyone else does!

[Kalipso2 25]

i LOVE what ElfiePoo said, "A failure is someone who gives up completely and stops trying. You were just taking a vacation."

this journey isn't easy for some of us. it took me 3 years to lose 70 pounds. if you break that down, that's 23 pounds a year for 3 years.

you're NOT a failure!

i hope you receive good news from your doctor!!

[Cheryl Ann 2]

Thank you all so very, very much. All your words are truly words to live by. I think my biggest mistake was not staying here on the boards -- if even to lurk -- because by keeping my distance I lost my sole source of support. Of course, my husband and kids are encouraging enough, but there's nothing like others who have been there.

I will definitely be "hanging around" here, even if I don't post all that often. I will definitely update you all on my esophogram and visit at NYU next week.

Again, thanks SO much!

[Jachut 487]

I ddnt read what I expected to when you usually open this sort of post - an emotional and irrational post blaming the band for not working, written by a person who has not done any of the work to change themselves but expected a magic fix from their band. You're three quarters of the way there! You know what you have to do and what you havent done so succesfully and you've acknowledged it. Of COURSE you can still lose weight, you just have to harness that self knowledge you have, allow your band to do what it does and work on your mindset and changing your habits.

You never stop learning with this thing. I had to have my band unfilled 4 months ago for another surgery, it cant be refilled just yet, but I was amazed at how much I really have changed after five years with a band. I have been able to maintain my weight but it is work every single day and I am learning new things now that in truth, I needed to learn. Even as a very successful bandster, i relied heavily on my band for control and let it give me the hard stops, now I'm learning to stop myself. But I've been completely retrained in terms of what I think is a proper meal, how much food I think is appropriate etc. But every day is a new learning experience, I make mistakes, I fall off the wagon and I'm having to examine the reasons why - sometimes its just becuase I bloody well want to and that's OK!

Go back to your doc, its scary and embarrassing to not feel successful in front of your doc, but that's your lifeline. YOu need to gather up your courage and do it, and you will be able to move forward from there. I hope all is OK with yoru band.

[Taylee_Rose 10]

Dearest Cheryl Ann,

"There is no failure except in no longer trying." ~ Elbert Hubbard

And kuddos to you for openly sharing with us what is really going on with you. You are so brave and courageous!

Look at the incredible work you have done on yourself! Keep your head up, you are amazing!