Have we forgotten to RESPECT one another?

[Amanda1982 142]

Ok look when I joined this site in October I felt that the individuals on this site would be able to relate to my struggle to lose weight and become a healthy person. I also felt this was a great place to get the truth about the lapband. I never expected the truth to be rosy in fact I wanted a realistic view of how things were going from everyone who has had the band. The band does not work for everyone but it does work for some. And it’s both the good and the bad that helps newvbies decide to do this.

What I don’t understand is why the need to be rude and disrespectful. Why can’t we agree to disagree about things without having to get indignant?

We have all come from the same place in regards to our weight and our reasons for being here. Can’t speak for everyone but my weight has caused me to get ridiculed, disrespected, and treated unfairly. As obese and morbidly obese individuals we have been kicked and wounded by the verbal abuse from outsiders who don’t know our struggle. Granted everyone has been though different experiences and until you have walked in some else’s shoes you can’t know what they have been though but people can’t we at least agree to respect each other agree to disagree and keep it moving. We are not in High school and a rude or disrespectful comments because you disagree with some else’s post or feel it has been posted in the wrong thread, truly doesn’t belong here. Are we here to start fights or are we here to encourage others. Lets support each other because at the end of the day we all want to be healthier people and mental health and just as important as psychical health. Good Luck.

[jayeljay613 1]

Well said Amanda! Good luck to you too!

[TKW 501]

I agree, there seems to have been a lot that going on this past week!

I see your surgery date is coming up!!! Yippee!!! Good Luck to you!

[TheRealSouthernBelle 22]

I agree! like mama used to say if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all! I understand everyone is entitled to their opinion, but geez!

[crecia1975 4]

You said exactly what I have been thinking for the past few months.

I joined this site in April and I don't remember people being so mean and ugly. I don't know why we can't just agree to disagree and move on. I've seen some posts that weren't my cup of tea, but I just chose not to reply to those. I think some may be posting in the wrong area, but who cares? Skip that post and move on to another. I also came here for support and to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly in reference to the band. I know some have had bad experiences as well as good. I liked getting both sides before I went through with the surgery. It gave me a lot to think about.

I wish everyone would not resort to the rude comments and name calling. That doesn't help anyone and I don't see the point in that.

We all have the right to our own opinion. If you don't like what someone has to say, that's fine. It's just not necessary to put someone else down in order to state your case.

[Cleo's Mom 257]

I agree. I think successful bandsters should be congratulated. I think struggling posters who ask for help should be given help - suggestions, good advice, etc.. things that worked for you. I don't think any struggling bandster needs to be judged, criticized or told that they are a failure because the band doesn't fail you, you fail the band.

Successful bandsters post all the time about their journey. That is great and it encourages others. Struggling bandster post too but are often afraid because they get criticized and blamed.

And you're right, until we've walked in the struggler's shoes - who are we to be judgemental?

So, this seems to be something we can all agree on.

[Amanda1982 142]

I agree. I think successful bandsters should be congratulated. I think struggling posters who ask for help should be given help - suggestions, good advice, etc.. things that worked for you. I don't think any struggling bandster needs to be judged, criticized or told that they are a failure because the band doesn't fail you, you fail the band.

Successful bandsters post all the time about their journey. That is great and it encourages others. Struggling bandster post too but are often afraid because they get criticized and blamed.

And you're right, until we've walked in the struggler's shoes - who are we to be judgemental?

So, this seems to be something we can all agree on.

I agree RECPECT is for everyone!!

[Humming Bird 275]

I don't think the posts here at LBT have been bad at all lately. I read and post here quite a bit and have only seen one post that was "name calling" or "disrespectful" or "rude", but that guy is known for being that way. It was much worse in 2009 with the fighting and name calling.

I am one of the few success stories that have stuck around. I am also pro-band and believe my band is magic, but I do agree with Cleo's Mom that I struggling bandster does not want me to rub my effortless success in their face. It offers nothing of value to them and only makes them feel worse. Just because my methods have worked great for me does not make it right for me to post in their "struggling thread" how great I have done and how great my tool works. IMHO that would be rude. It also is pointless to tell someone who has had the band removed how to "use the tool".

[crecia1975 4]

You said it right Amanda! It's all about respect.

[parker62 8]

Thanks Amanda you said it just right. I will be banded on 3\8\2011 not happy that i have to do it but i need help. I have tried losing weight over and over again just cant keep it off. The prejudice that is dished out at people who are over weight is just too much. We all need each other let us be supportive.

[Amanda1982 142]

I don't think the posts here at LBT have been bad at all lately. I read and post here quite a bit and have only seen one post that was "name calling" or "disrespectful" or "rude", but that guy is known for being that way. It was much worse in 2009 with the fighting and name calling. I am one of the few success stories that have stuck around. I am also pro-band and believe my band is magic, but I do agree with Cleo's Mom that I struggling bandster does not want me to rub my effortless success in their face. It offers nothing of value to them and only makes them feel worse. Just because my methods have worked great for me does not make it right for me to post in their "struggling thread" how great I have done and how great my tool works. IMHO that would be rude. It also is pointless to tell someone who has had the band removed how to "use the tool".

I agree with you that is not the correct way to deal with someone who is clearly asking for help and guidance. However we don’t need to attack the person who made the “I’ve been successful” post either. There are ways of telling people that they may have misunderstood what the OP is saying/asking for without being negative and nasty. There is nothing wrong with saying “Congrats on your success but I think what the OP needs right know is help/guidance and then redirect our attention back to the OP or just not say anything at all. We should direct our focus on the person that needs help otherwise we lose focus and it becomes about us not the OP.

How many times have we seen original post get lost in arguments because one person offended the other.

[Cleo's Mom 257]

I don't think the posts here at LBT have been bad at all lately. I read and post here quite a bit and have only seen one post that was "name calling" or "disrespectful" or "rude", but that guy is known for being that way. It was much worse in 2009 with the fighting and name calling.

I am one of the few success stories that have stuck around. I am also pro-band and believe my band is magic, but I do agree with Cleo's Mom that I struggling bandster does not want me to rub my effortless success in their face. It offers nothing of value to them and only makes them feel worse. Just because my methods have worked great for me does not make it right for me to post in their "struggling thread" how great I have done and how great my tool works. IMHO that would be rude. It also is pointless to tell someone who has had the band removed how to "use the tool".

Very well said. And SO true. Thank you for your support. I am so glad the band has worked so well for you - and effortless, too. Isn't that what we all wanted when we got the band? And when it didn't work out for some of us, like it did for you, that is no reason to blame or judge. That is the time for support. And what ever happened to a little bit of old fashioned sympathy?

I wish you continued good luck with your lapband journey.

[Amanda1982 142]

Thanks Amanda you said it just right. I will be banded on 3\8\2011 not happy that i have to do it but i need help. I have tried losing weight over and over again just cant keep it off. The prejudice that is dished out at people who are over weight is just too much. We all need each other let us be supportive.

Well know that you have one supporter in your corner….I hope that there will be more. Good Luck

[OnMyWay2Thin 45]

Amanda, just wanted to say GOOD LUCK TO YOU! I read your post and haven't been on a lot lately so I didn't see what you saw (thank goodness) but then I looked at your stats and saw you are having surgery this week. How exciting!!! I wish you the best of luck and want to let you know we are here for you should you have any questions, concerns, or just want to chat. Don't be scared, you'll do great!

A whole new world is about to open for you, take it easy and enjoy it!