What kind of eater am I?

[peacequeen 434]

How can you figure out what kind of eater you are? I eat when I'm sad or happy. Most every event and holiday is evolved around food and has been so since I was a small child before I could even remember. So that could make me an emotional eater along with a social eater. I have no motivation right now, very depressed. I'm just trying to figure out why because I'm gaining weight and I'm trying to make this life plan with my future lapband to help me put a stop to the madness. I also just love to think about food. I like trying to decide what will we have for dinner. So I am a food lover, I overeat most 99.5% of the time and most times I will stuff myself to the point of pain and still not be able to stop. I love the smell of food, I can taste it by smell. But it makes me have to have it. I watch the food channel and I think that's setting me up for failure because it makes me starve watching some of those shows because then my visual side comes out. I think the motivation will come when I have my consultation on Mar 10, not sure though. Sometimes I don't know who I am anymore. I know I will have a psych eval and I don't know how to answer the questions. I'm worried I'll mess up. I'd love to get feedback from any of you who have an opinion on any of these areas. I'm trying to figure out,,am I going to get motivated on the band. I'm excited about the process but the waiting time,,I'm living like the bottomless pit. I just eat and eat. Someone told me it's the feeling of getting "the last supper". That I know something drastic will be coming so I'm hoarding food like it's my last chance. I truly believe that. I am worried because I'm afraid I'll say the wrong thing to the psych doctor. What do you say? What do you not want to say to them? They kinda call the shots, I hear.

[happygirl65 5]

OK, first of all...breathe! This is not the end of your life as you know it, just a change. Yes it is a major change, yes it will be very different, but the foods you love are not leaving the planet. They really aren't. So...let that sink in firstly then we can talk about the emotional aspects of eating.

I honestly didn't think I was an emotional eater. I didn't think food was that important to me but after surgery during week 2 of liquids I had a couple of melt downs just because I couldn't eat the food i wanted to eat right that minute...I stayed true to my diet but had actual tears over the foods I couldn't eat right then...which I later gave myself a mental smackdown for but I have to own those feelings. After particularly stressful events I would eat more than I should for dinner, not always unhealthy stuff, just way more of it than I should. I am an emotional eater. I am watching for triggers now and distracting myself but like you before, food was the center of my life. I still have to plan my meals in order to stick to my healthy plan, not planning for me is planning to fail so I have to do it and stick to it and then I am fine...gives me that control.

One thing I do want to address however that I wish someone would have told me before the band is that the band will not make you eat less. You have to choose to eat less. You have to measure it out and know you are not getting seconds. You have to do that. The band will make it so that your appetit is surpressed for a longer period of time than it would hav been before when you eat 4 oz of meat and 6 oz of veggies. That's all. It's not about restricting what you can and can't eat, it won't stop you from eating until you are in pain, and if you can't get that under control before surgery you are looking at slips and erosion complications that can be very serious.

I would honestly try really hard to measure out your portions and be done...not as small as you will post band...but practice limiting yourself right now. Distract yourself when you feel the emotional hunger come on, try to recognize what those triggers might be for you, at the very least journal everything you are eating now so you can be truly honest with yourself about what your current habits are, and what things will need to change.

I beleive the band was the best thing I have ever done for myself and I am seeing a lot of success and it is a lot easier to just eat my one yogurt for Breakfast and be done but it does nothing for me when I have an emotional attack that makes me want to eat. I have to wrangle that stray thought in myself and battle with that. The band can't help me with that. chocolate will go down just fine, as will other snack foods that I just have to choose not to eat. There are still daily and hourly choices invlolved with being successful.

I wish you every bit of luck and happiness on your journey. It is worth the effort I can promise you that, but it's really all up to you. The band is just a tool that dims the appetite, that is all. Just know that going in and put your expectations in the right place and you will do great!

[Phranp 46]

I am an emotional eater as well. I agree with happygirl, planning your food is the best route. When I plan my meals I tend to have a good day overall.

It seems the band is unique to each person. Physical hunger was never a problem for me before banding, and even less of an issue since banding. Emotional eating has always been my nemesis. As for restriction, for me it really does help me stop. I am fuller faster and, I learned the hard way that eating at night before going to bed was a no-no. Before banding I had a habit of eating something before I went to bed. The urge to do this did not stop after banding, but because of therapy and my desire to lose the weight, I stopped doing this -- for the most part. If I had a particularly stressful day I noticed that it was harder to use the tools my therapist taught me. So, some nights I would have a snack, then lay down to sleep. OMG, it was awful! The food was in my esophagus! I couldn't sleep, I couldn't lay down, I was miserable. I would have to sit up for at least an hour, no matter how tired I was. As you might have guessed ... I don't do that anymore. You see, because of restriction my food stays in the pouch longer, as a result, eating more food before the pouch has emptied enough caused the food to back up into my esophagus. Of course, because in the past I was accustomed to eating as much food as I wanted, I couldn't imagine that the little bit of food I ate for dinner would prevent me from having a late night snack -- but it did. So, while restriction doesn't work for some, it works for me. Do I still struggle sometimes? Yes. But, because I started therapy with an obesity specialist 8 months BEFORE I had my surgery AND I continue to see her now (I could actually stop now, but it's great ME time:), I work on my emotional eating, while the band helps me with the physical. Because my therapist is an obesity specialist she has training in nutrition so it's like two for the price of one -- therapist and nutritionist. YAY! BTW, my insurance pays for my therapy. I make a small co-pay that my therapist decreased to practically nothing.

It's true, the band is often not a "walk in the park", especially if you are an emotional eater. But, if you are truly ready to change your life, you will do everything it takes to have that happy, healthy future you want.

Learn everything you can about the band. Ask ANY question, no matter how crazy you think it is; someone will answer. This forum is great for information. Take what you can use, and ignore the negative (and there will be negative).

One last thing, you will read on this forum that the band does not work for everyone. This is true. Sometimes there are physical issues and sometimes ... people cannot get past the mental issues (i.e., emotional eating). Sometimes the physical issues cannot be overcome, sometimes they can. It is up to you to be the best advocate for yourself, no one is going to care about you more than YOU.

I believe you are making a good start by asking questions before you begin your journey. All the best to you!

[oceangirl6 0]

wow girl you said it all, and sooo kindly!

i am 4 days post op

i have tears in my eyes from reading your post

thank you

oceangirl6

OK, first of all...breathe! This is not the end of your life as you know it, just a change. Yes it is a major change, yes it will be very different, but the foods you love are not leaving the planet. They really aren't. So...let that sink in firstly then we can talk about the emotional aspects of eating.

I honestly didn't think I was an emotional eater. I didn't think food was that important to me but after surgery during week 2 of liquids I had a couple of melt downs just because I couldn't eat the food i wanted to eat right that minute...I stayed true to my diet but had actual tears over the foods I couldn't eat right then...which I later gave myself a mental smackdown for but I have to own those feelings. After particularly stressful events I would eat more than I should for dinner, not always unhealthy stuff, just way more of it than I should. I am an emotional eater. I am watching for triggers now and distracting myself but like you before, food was the center of my life. I still have to plan my meals in order to stick to my healthy plan, not planning for me is planning to fail so I have to do it and stick to it and then I am fine...gives me that control.

One thing I do want to address however that I wish someone would have told me before the band is that the band will not make you eat less. You have to choose to eat less. You have to measure it out and know you are not getting seconds. You have to do that. The band will make it so that your appetit is surpressed for a longer period of time than it would hav been before when you eat 4 oz of meat and 6 oz of veggies. That's all. It's not about restricting what you can and can't eat, it won't stop you from eating until you are in pain, and if you can't get that under control before surgery you are looking at slips and erosion complications that can be very serious.

I would honestly try really hard to measure out your portions and be done...not as small as you will post band...but practice limiting yourself right now. Distract yourself when you feel the emotional hunger come on, try to recognize what those triggers might be for you, at the very least journal everything you are eating now so you can be truly honest with yourself about what your current habits are, and what things will need to change.

I beleive the band was the best thing I have ever done for myself and I am seeing a lot of success and it is a lot easier to just eat my one yogurt for Breakfast and be done but it does nothing for me when I have an emotional attack that makes me want to eat. I have to wrangle that stray thought in myself and battle with that. The band can't help me with that. chocolate will go down just fine, as will other snack foods that I just have to choose not to eat. There are still daily and hourly choices invlolved with being successful.

I wish you every bit of luck and happiness on your journey. It is worth the effort I can promise you that, but it's really all up to you. The band is just a tool that dims the appetite, that is all. Just know that going in and put your expectations in the right place and you will do great!

[thsisme 14]

happygirl and Phranp have hit the nail on the head! There are no definitive answers, but there are guidelines and suggestions that will assist one in finding what works best for them. It will take time to learn how not to allow food to rule your life. Food life will go on without you and it will be around you. You will learn your trigger foods and what situations trigger your desire to eat food. You will have to learn how to deal with them and you will have to accept and forgive yourself if or when you fall off the wagon. I know what my trigger foods are and I know what tips me over to wanting to reach for that particular piece of food/snack and I have learned to avoid reaching for the food fix. It haunts me and I have to fight the urge to give in. However, my rewards, though may be small are enough for me, when I get on the scale and I have not gained, when I am ready to go down to a smaller size in clothing, or any other NSV...I give myself a mental tap on the back with a reminder that I probably would not have gotten to that point had I given in as evidenced by my past eating behavior vs my current behavior. I too keep a food and exercise journal and sometimes when I am fixated on eating, i plan my whole meal day or the remaining portion of the meals and then I get moving. If I have time to sit and think of meals, then I have time to walk or do something else. The band is work, it helps keep me on track while I'm working the issues of learning a new life that is free from hip and knee pain, I can now sit in a booth instead of having to ask for a table with chairs, I can fly without having to have an extender and I don't have to cross my arms and manuever my body into awkward postions so that I don't flow over into the next seat on the plane and my newest adventure in lapbandom...I am getting ready to go shopping in a store that is not a plus size speciality shop! If you are ready and you are prepared to commit to this process, chances are that you will never regret your decision, as others here have already said the band is not for everyone and you should do your research to be educated on the risks and the benefits. I wish you luck on your journey!

[vickyd 24]

I think you definitely need to make sure your head is in the right place before having the surgery...you need to be able to make the right food choices and limit your portions even after surgery.

I am so happy with my band and part of me keeps asking why I didn't do it sooner but, honestly, I don't think I would have been successful with it years ago because my head wasn't in the right place. I would have been one of those people wondering why my band didn't stop me from eating McDonalds and not understanding why I wasn't losing weight.

Make sure you're ready to make the sacrifices that come with the band and you have a good chance of being successful.

Good luck with your journey...

[peacequeen 434]

Thank you all for the honest replies. 7 years ago I had gotten myself down to a very healthy person. Running and excercising were part of my everyday life. I wasn't on a diet but I watched what I ate. I was 157 pounds wearing size 10/12. It seems like a lifetime and over 100 pounds ago. I think that makes me feel like I have failed and what if I fail again? I have alot going on in my life which could be some of the cause for me sounding like an out of control and desperate person. Reaching my mid 40's has brought up some things from my past and my childhood that I'm having a hard time coping with and it couldn't have come at a worse time because it is impacting everything. I lost my parents in an auto accident in '99, I have a child with special needs. I am disabled now due to an autoimmune condition along with some other health issues. My husband went to 3rd shift to help me when I got sick. He's stuck there for a while so I rarely see him and I'm lonely alot. My oldest son is going off to college in the fall and though I am so proud of his achievements, I'm already mourning his absence. I am currently seeing a therapist, hoping he can help me with some of my emotional problems. I do want to go into this with the mindset I should have. I've been educating myself for months here at this site and other sites, I've talked to people who have had the procedure and I have attended the seminar. I've watched videos of the actual procedure. I seem to get really excited about the life change I will have. I know the sacrifices to be made with the band and the outcome it can bring. I just don't want to be a failure again.