Should I get this surgery or not?!

[ohclementine 9]

Hey everyone. This my very first post about weight loss surgery ever, anywhere. I've looked into the option off and on for a few years and got really serious about it lately. I have my first appointment with the weight loss (Lap-Band) surgeon tomorrow evening. Most of the time I feel completely sure that this is what I want to do, but then after reading stories I become very discouraged and start to doubt myself. (I just spent 2 hours in the "Success Stories" section, and feel like I read about more failures, heartaches, and disappointments than anything.)

I am 30 years old, about 5'10'' and weigh 340 pounds, so I have quite a bit to lose. I'd love to get to 185 as a personal goal.

In 2008, I had been dieting on my own and dropped close to 100 pounds just by (drastically) restricting my calories and bad carbs. I started at over 350 (350 was as high as my scale went, so I honestly don't know how much over I was) and ended up getting to 255 or so. I felt like I was well on my way to reaching a weight I was happier with, even though I didn't know what that weight was. (The weird thing is I lost that much weight, but really only went down about 2 pant sizes, from an 18 to a 14, and only about 1 shirt size, from a 26/28 to a 22/24. I'm top heavy!) But it was good losing the weight because I felt SO much better and was able to go off of blood pressure meds and everything. I went from barely being able to walk 1/2 a mile to walking 3 miles most days of the week. All on my own!

However, I found out I was pregnant and, naturally the weight loss had to stop. I was so thrilled to become pregnant (whole other story!) and tried to manage my weight during the pregnancy. I gained about 40 pounds during my pregnancy and have gained some since I had my daughter in 2009 - and now I'm back up to 340+, which is indescribably depressing. Losing the weight was so hard, and now I have it all to lose again.

So, cutting to the chase, I'm wondering if this surgery is for me. I would love some honest feedback on this. Does the band really help with hunger? Does it help with anything other than restriction? I feel like I've proven (to myself) that I can lose weight on my own, if I am motivated. And from everything I've read, those who are doing well with losing weight after the Band, seem to be doing so by eating extremely healthy foods, cutting out everything bad, and exercising religiously. So where does the Band come in? Wouldn't we lose weight, with or without the band, if we only ate 800-1000 calories a day and exercised 3x (or more) a week?

That being said, I have been significantly overweight since childhood. I've never been at a "healthy" weight that I can recall. I know I weighed in the 100's at some point in my life, I had to, but I can't remember it. No idea what that would feel like. My insurance has already told me they approve Lap Band surgery, I have an appointment with the Bariatric Surgeon tomorrow, so I have to get this figured out. Do I have a valid reason to question having this surgery, or am I just scared? I really need someone to explain to me why it's worth it, even if I have a history of being able to lose a significant amount on my own.

I hope someone can help me make get things figured out. I am so conflicted about this!

[dits4golf 0]

Have surgery only if u r serious about losing weight. Surgery is not the magic pill. U'll still have to work at it.

[ohclementine 9]

I really appreciate you taking the time to respond, but that doesn't really address any of my concerns. I think it's pretty obvious that I'm serious about losing weight. And that I don't consider this band to be "magical" - otherwise I would have already gotten it and wouldn't be considering just trying to lose weight again on my own again. But thanks anyway.

[vickyd 24]

So, cutting to the chase, I'm wondering if this surgery is for me. I would love some honest feedback on this. Does the band really help with hunger? Does it help with anything other than restriction? I feel like I've proven (to myself) that I can lose weight on my own, if I am motivated. And from everything I've read, those who are doing well with losing weight after the Band, seem to be doing so by eating extremely healthy foods, cutting out everything bad, and exercising religiously. So where does the Band come in? Wouldn't we lose weight, with or without the band, if we only ate 800-1000 calories a day and exercised 3x (or more) a week?

To answer your question...yes, if I only ate 800-1,000 calories a day and exercised 3x per week I would lose weight. The problem is that I couldn't only eat 800-1,000 calories without help. I don't think I could have lasted a day. The band helps me feel satisfied on less food and be able to go 4 hours between meals without wanting to chew off my arm. Yes, the exercise motivation still has to come from myself as well as the motivation to make healthy food choices but the band helps make it possible for me to do it consistently.

If you can do it on your own (and maintain the loss over time) then go for it...if you need some help to get and stay there then the band can be a useful tool. It is a decision that only you can make...

[ohclementine 9]

Thank you, that was more helpful. I realize it's a decision only I can make, but I can't very well do that without information. Toward the end you touched on the one thing that is keeping the Band in my sights - and that is the ability to KEEP the weight off long term. I do feel like that is where the Band might help me, so that may very well be my answer.

I hope my original posting wasn't offensive. I definitely do not mean that people should be able to just lose weight on their own without the surgery, obviously that's not the case with everyone. I just meant for me, personally, since I have lost close to 100 pounds on my own in the past. I struggle with whether or not I should put my body through surgery if I don't absolutely need to. But I do like the thought of having the Lap Band as a tool to help me both lose the weight (again) and actually keep it off.

I'm looking forward to getting more information at my appointment this evening.

[vickyd 24]

Thank you, that was more helpful. I realize it's a decision only I can make, but I can't very well do that without information. Toward the end you touched on the one thing that is keeping the Band in my sights - and that is the ability to KEEP the weight off long term. I do feel like that is where the Band might help me, so that may very well be my answer.

I hope my original posting wasn't offensive. I definitely do not mean that people should be able to just lose weight on their own without the surgery, obviously that's not the case with everyone. I just meant for me, personally, since I have lost close to 100 pounds on my own in the past. I struggle with whether or not I should put my body through surgery if I don't absolutely need to. But I do like the thought of having the Lap Band as a tool to help me both lose the weight (again) and actually keep it off.

I'm looking forward to getting more information at my appointment this evening.

You are obviously motivated - and quite frankly, that is a big part of being successful. I have said before that I wish I had done this years ago but, honestly, I don't think my head would have been in the right place to be successful with it until now.

Definately, do the research and make sure all of your questions get answered before taking the next steps. You might also want to attend a support group in your area...my support group does get people coming in pre-surgery just to ask questions and we are all too happy to answer whatever questions people have.

I, too, was nervous about the surgery, but it really wasn't bad at all. I wasn't in a tremendous amount of pain and it was worth it...

Good luck to you!

[ohclementine 9]

Thanks Vicky! And good luck to you on the rest of your journey

[reverie 49]

I too had these same thoughts. I was young when I got banded, 18, and I thought along with others that I could lose the weight on my own. And you know, maybe I could have, but at the end of the day I did not have that "something" to make me stop eating and to make me feel satisfied. I was one to not eat all day, think it was okay to do so, and then splurge when I was around food. I'd eat and eat, get that feeling of wow I'm gonna burst, and then eat more. I had no Portion Control, with the band I do.

Of course the decision to have surgery is your own personal decision and something that you need to sit down and think about. As it may have been said already and as you know the band is a tool. If you're motivated enough to lose on your own, maybe the band would be an even bigger push to help keep you motivated in the long run. However, seeing as how you've lost 100lbs and then gained it all back, I'd be a bit hesitant. The whole idea behind WLS and weight loss as a whole is learning and changing. While the band may and can help you with portion control and will help you stay fuller for longer, the fact is that you have to work with it. You have to learn to eat right, you have to exercise, and you have to stay motivated to lose.

I'd sit down and consider what makes you gain weight in the first place. Are you overeating? Binging? Junk food? A combination? I feel that the band is best for those who are overweight due to overeating or at least that overeating is one of the contributors. I may get crap for saying that but I honestly don't feel it's for everyone.

I think the talk with the bariatric surgeon will help. As I said, if you're motivated to lose on your own, the band just may be your golden ticket to lose and keep the weight off, but work on your part (ie. learning to eat right and exercise) is a must do.

Good luck with whatever you choose!

[Kalipso2 25]

i grew up skinny but as i entered my mid-20's the weight started sticking. i tried every diet under the sun and they worked... while i was on them... but once the diet stopped the weight came right back.

almost all of us can lose weight, it's keeping it off that's the problem!

being banded by no means is an "easy solution". this is the most difficult thing i've ever had to do. it's not a diet at all... it really is a lifestyle change.

i will never be able to eat an entire pizza ever again. i will never be able to eat a regular meal at a restaurant ever again. i will never be able to have cocktails with my friends and eat at the same time ever again... i have to choose one, eat or drink. it's a struggle every single day.

with that being said, i couldn't be happier with my new body. i can cross my legs without having to pull my leg over. i now wear a size 8 or smaller. i don't diet but my band won't let me have bread or hamburger but i can eat small amounts of what ever i want.

and... the surgery is reversible if it just doesn't work for you. no other weight loss surgery is reversible!

[Humming Bird 275]

I can only speak from my own experience and maybe a bit from what I have read .......

I have lost hundreds of pounds in my life only to gain it back, of course. The band is pretty close to perfect for a yo-yo like me. There were a few years before the band that I just gave up on trying to take the weight off because I knew I would end up even bigger in the end. That is how it has always worked ..... I accepted that I was obese and was just going to live my life that way..... depressing.

You pretty much don't know exactly how the band will work for you until you get the band. You have to be a bit open minded about how things could be. For example, many bandsters have to diet and work at it quite a bit. Many bandsters can eat pretty much any type of food they want, but very small portions. Many bandsters can no longer eat bread, Pasta, rice, solid meats like steak, eggs ....... Many bandsters have mental attachments to food and struggle with depression and the loss of their best friend (food). There are so many things that you have to consider and I'm glad you are asking questions.

Here is how the band works for me (this does not mean it will work for you the same way):

I do consider the band "magic" in my own experience and have put in very little effort.

I did very well with the surgery, had some long lasting fatigue, thinning hair, and phrenic nerve pain post-op. (all of these resolved now)

I reached my sweet spot with fill number 2.

I dropped 100 pounds in the first year

I do not exercise

I do not count calories, or anything else (I am mindful of it, but don't obcess over it)

The band does help with Portion Control. It will not allow me to overeat

The band has helped me control hunger and my interest in food

I can not eat bread, Pasta, rice, eggs, fried food, or solid meats. I don't miss them.

This has been the easiest "diet" I've ever been on, and so far the weight has stayed off the best.

[ohclementine 9]

Thank you guys so much for the thoughtful replies. I think deep down I want to go forward with the surgery, and know it would benefit me, but I'm just freaked out.

I've only had one other surgery, due to a ruptured fallopian tube last year, and it was a terribly painful and traumatic experience. They couldn't (or wouldn't?) control my pain properly

and acted as if I was in much more pain that I "should" be. I want to cry just thinking of that experience, it was so terribly awful.

My appointment is in about 3 hours, and I do feel more confident now than I did last night. Thanks again!

[Cocoabean 430]

You may have answered your own question. You said losing weight was so hard. Why was it hard? Was it because cutting your portions was difficult? Did you stop eating when you were still hungry? Did you want to graze on foods all day long? You gained weight when you were pregnant, as you should. But you continued to gain after you gave birth. Why? Was your diet attempt prior to getting pregnant your first try, or just one of many?

There are many variables. For almost all of us, we can lose weight on our own. Keeping it off or even keeping up with a diet for a long period of time is the challenge. Hunger overcomes willpower.

Any WLS should be a last resort. If you do not believe that you have given diet and exercise you full effort, you certainly should.

My experience with the band is that I get full on smaller portions and I stay satisfied for a longer period of time. I can still eat most foods that I could before getting the band. I have to choose what goes in my mouth. I also sometimes fight the urge to graze. The band helps with this in that I am not always hungry when the urge hits, so I can better fight it off.

I don't do a formal exercise routine, I am more active than before, but that's about it.

I will tell you that I have been banded for three years. This is the longest I have ever gone with my appetite under control and my weight went down for the first two years. I have been maintaining for about a year now. Maintaining easily at that.

[Rainydayz 3]

You sound an awful lot like me. I'm older than you but I also lost a lot of weight on my own but was ultimately not able to keep it off after pregnancy. I was a skinny child until puberty hit. Then I steadily started putting on a few lbs. a year until my 20's when I was between 150-170 for years. I would lose the same 20 lbs. over and over. Then I had a baby and never lost all the baby weight. In my late 20's I was up to 180-190. When I was 30 I decided I was going to do something about this. I started running (something I used to enjoy in high school) and started dieting. I used SlimFast a lot and just ate very little. Looking back I know I did it wrong because I simply was not eating enough calories. I lost about 55 lb. in about 7 months and actually kept it off for 3 years. I was "using" caffeine and energy/diet pills for hunger. Then i got pregnant again and stopped taking the caffeine and diet pills and gained it all back plus more. I tried Weight Watchers a couple of times and more diet pills and more exercising. But it was always a short-term success. I injured my back and had to stop running for a while. Everytime I lost some I would gain more back. So here I am at 288 in my 40's. Yes I know I could lose the weight. But I'm scared to death that I won't keep it off. And every time I've lost weight I've gained back more. I don't want to weigh over 300 lbs. so I've been afraid to try to lose it again.

So that's why I'm considering the lap band. My thoughts are that I will use it to help me after the gung-ho motivation of losing is gone and I have to maintain after the thrill of losing is over. That's why I'm so interested in hearing from people who have had the band for more than a couple of years. From what I've read there is somewhere between a 30% and 50% chance of keeping the weight off after 10 yrs. But for me that's better than what I'm looking at without it, KWIM? And if things go sideways it is reversible/removable. That's the big thing that's keeping me looking at the band.

So, good luck in your decision. I admire the way you are going about it. You will get people that bad-mouth it and you will get people that defend it like it's their child. But you are asking the right questions IMO!

[oceangirl6 0]

mama, check out the chat on this site and you can talk to some of us "live and in color!"

just click on chat button in upper right corner

good luck!

i was banded 4 days ago

truckin along.........

i havte surgery too

Thanks Vicky! And good luck to you on the rest of your journey

[oceangirl6 0]

YOU GO GIRL!!!

I HAVE BEEN BANDED 4 DAYS AND I JUST PRAYYYYY MY EXPERINCE IS LIKE YOURS!!!

THANKS FOR THE POST

OG6

I can only speak from my own experience and maybe a bit from what I have read .......

I have lost hundreds of pounds in my life only to gain it back, of course. The band is pretty close to perfect for a yo-yo like me. There were a few years before the band that I just gave up on trying to take the weight off because I knew I would end up even bigger in the end. That is how it has always worked ..... I accepted that I was obese and was just going to live my life that way..... depressing.

You pretty much don't know exactly how the band will work for you until you get the band. You have to be a bit open minded about how things could be. For example, many bandsters have to diet and work at it quite a bit. Many bandsters can eat pretty much any type of food they want, but very small portions. Many bandsters can no longer eat bread, Pasta, rice, solid meats like steak, eggs ....... Many bandsters have mental attachments to food and struggle with depression and the loss of their best friend (food). There are so many things that you have to consider and I'm glad you are asking questions.

Here is how the band works for me (this does not mean it will work for you the same way):

I do consider the band "magic" in my own experience and have put in very little effort.

I did very well with the surgery, had some long lasting fatigue, thinning hair, and phrenic nerve pain post-op. (all of these resolved now)

I reached my sweet spot with fill number 2.

I dropped 100 pounds in the first year

I do not exercise

I do not count calories, or anything else (I am mindful of it, but don't obcess over it)

The band does help with Portion Control. It will not allow me to overeat

The band has helped me control hunger and my interest in food

I can not eat bread, pasta, rice, eggs, fried food, or solid meats. I don't miss them.

This has been the easiest "diet" I've ever been on, and so far the weight has stayed off the best.