NEVER, NEVER AGAIN....

[mattie7632 24]

I completely agree with you. You have no idea. I completely get it that eating healthy, exercising, Portion Control, drinking Water, is all going to make a difference. DUH!!! But it shouldn't determine whether the band works or not works because if so, then guess what? The band isn't the reason you're losing weight!!

When the band makes you have no desire to eat more than one slice of pizza instead of 3, then 'Id say it's working. If you have to force yourself to stop after 1 piece, then sorry, the band isn't working--you are.

By you I mean bandsters, not you personally

CM your posts really do come across quite harsh at times. I'm sure you don't mean it, but that's how they read

I am NEVER harsh to those who are struggling. I just get so irritated with people who are so quick to post their success with the band and how they followed all the rules and they lost so much weight, eat most foods and just love their band as a reply to a struggler. It's okay to love your band but a person struggling doesn't want to hear that. It's like a person who is depressed hearing from a person - "I wake up everyday happy because I make up my mind to be happy and you can be happy too, if you just put your mind to it."And then they go on to judge those who are struggling blaming them for the failure because it could NEVER be the band. It can't be the band, it has to be you.Even if the person's struggles are their fault and they have fallen off the wagon - what they need are suggestions. Things to try that work. Small things like using small plate, shrimp fork and baby spoon, to big things like checking with your doctor and nutritionist or keeping a food journal.It's just the whole - I did it so you should be able to do it and if you can't then you're a failure post - that I can do without.Just look at how many people say they are afraid to say anything negative about the band because they will be blasted and are leaving, etc..Obviously there are just too many judgmental posters.

[Cleo's Mom 257]

<br />Cleo's mom: I think your posts are very well articulated and represent all the different things that can happen with the band, not JUST the success stories. It is the holier than thou listen to me and other "the band is a tool" posters and let us set you straight that irks me to the bone. If you are on this site and had to have undergone surgery to get your weight under control, please dismount off your high horse immediately. I'm all for asking/receiving suggestions but this whole "let ME be the one to offer your needed tough love" is so ridiculous. And CM: I thought the list you posted about the four kinds of posters not only made for a good chuckle but was so true too!<br />

<br /><br /><br />

There are several kinds of struggling posts:

1) I need a kick in the pants - tell me what to do. The tough love crowd can post here.

2) This band isn't working, I am not losing weight - why? The replies should ask the right questions and offer good advice.

3) And finally - the band isn't working - I am doing all the right things, following the rules and I hate it. I have had this test, this many fiills, done everything right, etc..

This is NOT the place for replies about how successful you have been, how much you love your band, how much weight you've lost and if you're struggling it must be your fault. And it is definitely not the place for - the band is just a tool.

I don't think this is very hard to follow, IMO.

And would probably result in far fewer posters leaving and being insulted, etc..

[mattie7632 24]

Bingo!

<br /><br /><br />

There are several kinds of struggling posts:

1) I need a kick in the pants - tell me what to do. The tough love crowd can post here.

2) This band isn't working, I am not losing weight - why? The replies should ask the right questions and offer good advice.

3) And finally - the band isn't working - I am doing all the right things, following the rules and I hate it. I have had this test, this many fiills, done everything right, etc..

This is NOT the place for replies about how successful you have been, how much you love your band, how much weight you've lost and if you're struggling it must be your fault. And it is definitely not the place for - the band is just a tool.

I don't think this is very hard to follow, IMO.

And would probably result in far fewer posters leaving and being insulted, etc..

[JourneyGirl 10]

My top weight was 319 lbs. I weighed 292 lbs when I had my lap-band surgery on 5/19/09. This morning I weighed 166 lbs and I continue to lose...as long as I follow the rules. I don't always follow the rules, I have bad days and bad weeks. I believe that lap-band will work if YOU WORK IT. I eat right, move more, stay motivated. My goals is 150 lbs. I never thought I would be 16 lbs from goal. I wear a size 12 in some things...a 14 in others. I go roller skating with my daughter. I can eat all of the Doritios and ice-cream I want...but I CHOOSE not to. If I chose to eat the crap, I would not lose weight. Would that be the fault of the band? I don't think so. I wish there was some sort of brain surgery that would make me have a healthy relationship with food, but there isn't, so I suppose I must continue to fight the battle. I am determined to win the war. I feel better now than I have in YEARS...I wish everyone luck in their journey. I am so glad that I didn't listen to the people that were negative about lap-band before I had my surgery. If my surgery was a failure, it would have been my failure, not the bands.

Thank you for being encouraging! I don't think your post is being snobby at all. I always enjoy hearing from those who have succeeded and have something positive to say.

I know that the band does not work for some but I, for one, like hearing from those that it has worked for. Despite the controversy on this thread, thanks!

[Cleo's Mom 257]

I just recently, within the last week, had my band removed and at the same time, had a gastric bypass done......The two doctors that I go to, and their practice is RANKED NUMBER ONE IN THE STATE, told me that only one or two IN TEN lose the desired weight after undergoing the lapband....I had it done a year ago and would never do it again....At the outset, and even months later, it is successful, but then there was a plateau where I slowly started to crave the foods that originally put it on....I read this a lot on here and it's true....I personally know of two women who had the 'band' done, lost about 70 percent of their weight goal, then put it ALLLLLLLLLLL back on within a year....And rem. that I WOULD ALWAYS EAT MY Protein FIRST, and follow the rules, but the band lost it's effect, plus I had the maximum fill.....If, according to my Dr's, only one or two in ten reach their goal, and this is based on their own practice, plus being in touch with other Dr's and studying follow-ups all over, that' s good enough for me....Caution to you, and DO NOT, in desperation, reach out for something that will not be there in the long run....But, you could be one of the 10-20 percent that is succesful....BUT I WOULD NEVER TAKE THOSE ODDS!......My best, Carlos.....YES!!---My insurance paid for both, but they required that I wait 6 months to get each procedure and follow strict guidelines.....ALL THAT GLITTERS IS NOT "GOLD!"

ABOVE is the original post. BELOW is the post I questioned:

My top weight was 319 lbs. I weighed 292 lbs when I had my lap-band surgery on 5/19/09. This morning I weighed 166 lbs and I continue to lose...as long as I follow the rules. I don't always follow the rules, I have bad days and bad weeks. I believe that lap-band will work if YOU WORK IT. I eat right, move more, stay motivated. My goals is 150 lbs. I never thought I would be 16 lbs from goal. I wear a size 12 in some things...a 14 in others. I go roller skating with my daughter. I can eat all of the Doritios and ice-cream I want...but I CHOOSE not to. If I chose to eat the crap, I would not lose weight. Would that be the fault of the band? I don't think so. I wish there was some sort of brain surgery that would make me have a healthy relationship with food, but there isn't, so I suppose I must continue to fight the battle. I am determined to win the war. I feel better now than I have in YEARS...I wish everyone luck in their journey. I am so glad that I didn't listen to the people that were negative about lap-band before I had my surgery. If my surgery was a failure, it would have been my failure, not the bands.

I challenge anyone to tell me how this post in any way shows an understanding, let alone any concern or sympathy to the OP's experience or offers anything constructive to the OP. All the poster does is pat herself on the back.

The bottom line says it all: if the surgery was a failure it would have been my failure, not the bands.

This is saying that the OP's "failure" with the band was theirs.

I stand my criticism of this post and people can read all they want about band successes all over LBT especially in the Lapband success stories thread. It doesn't belong in this thread and these kind of replies do more harm than good.

[mattie7632 24]

OH CM, didn't anyone ever tell you that the band is just a stooge? LMBO

ABOVE is the original post. BELOW is the post I questioned:

My top weight was 319 lbs. I weighed 292 lbs when I had my lap-band surgery on 5/19/09. This morning I weighed 166 lbs and I continue to lose...as long as I follow the rules. I don't always follow the rules, I have bad days and bad weeks. I believe that lap-band will work if YOU WORK IT. I eat right, move more, stay motivated. My goals is 150 lbs. I never thought I would be 16 lbs from goal. I wear a size 12 in some things...a 14 in others. I go roller skating with my daughter. I can eat all of the Doritios and ice-cream I want...but I CHOOSE not to. If I chose to eat the crap, I would not lose weight. Would that be the fault of the band? I don't think so. I wish there was some sort of brain surgery that would make me have a healthy relationship with food, but there isn't, so I suppose I must continue to fight the battle. I am determined to win the war. I feel better now than I have in YEARS...I wish everyone luck in their journey. I am so glad that I didn't listen to the people that were negative about lap-band before I had my surgery. If my surgery was a failure, it would have been my failure, not the bands.

I challenge anyone to tell me how this post in any way shows an understanding, let alone any concern or sympathy to the OP's experience or offers anything constructive to the OP. All the poster does is pat herself on the back.

The bottom line says it all: if the surgery was a failure it would have been my failure, not the bands.

This is saying that the OP's "failure" with the band was theirs.

I stand my criticism of this post and people can read all they want about band successes all over LBT especially in the Lapband success stories thread. It doesn't belong in this thread and these kind of replies do more harm than good.

[Leatibug 1]

I just recently, within the last week, had my band removed and at the same time, had a gastric bypass done......The two doctors that I go to, and their practice is RANKED NUMBER ONE IN THE STATE, told me that only one or two IN TEN lose the desired weight after undergoing the lapband....I had it done a year ago and would never do it again....At the outset, and even months later, it is successful, but then there was a plateau where I slowly started to crave the foods that originally put it on....I read this a lot on here and it's true....I personally know of two women who had the 'band' done, lost about 70 percent of their weight goal, then put it ALLLLLLLLLLL back on within a year....And rem. that I WOULD ALWAYS EAT MY Protein FIRST, and follow the rules, but the band lost it's effect, plus I had the maximum fill.....If, according to my Dr's, only one or two in ten reach their goal, and this is based on their own practice, plus being in touch with other Dr's and studying follow-ups all over, that' s good enough for me....Caution to you, and DO NOT, in desperation, reach out for something that will not be there in the long run....But, you could be one of the 10-20 percent that is succesful....BUT I WOULD NEVER TAKE THOSE ODDS!......My best, Carlos.....YES!!---My insurance paid for both, but they required that I wait 6 months to get each procedure and follow strict guidelines.....ALL THAT GLITTERS IS NOT "GOLD!"

I'm not sure why you had a such a hard time and to be honest I'm not there yet so maybe one day I will. What I can tell you is that I've lost 36 lbs so far! I can also tell you that I had a small lapse in my eating habits; we had our annual superbowl party, followed that up with celebrating the completion of my Master's program, and then week at Disneyland. I dreaded coming home and stepping on the scale; the surprise....I didn't lose any weight but I also didn't gain any! Been back for two weeks and back on track ! I think I can and I know I will acheive my goals!!!!

[Cleo's Mom 257]

OH CM, didn't anyone ever tell you that the band is just a stooge? LMBO

Very cute. And since some name their band what should I name mine: Larry, Curly or Moe?

[Rainydayz 3]

Seriously? People name their bands?!

Anyway, I tend to agree with Cleo's Mom. Those posts about how successful the responder has been in spite of the OP's statements that it simply did not work for them do sound like the responder is simply saying, "I was so successful so you must have done something wrong." I'm not saying that is what is always intended, but that is how it reads TO ME.

I appreciate all informative posts whether they be positive or negative pertaining to the band. If we just look for the positive then we are doing ourselves a disservice. I will not be a Pollyanna when it comes to something like surgery and having a foreign item inserted in my body.

[Cleo's Mom 257]

Seriously? People name their bands?!

Anyway, I tend to agree with Cleo's Mom. Those posts about how successful the responder has been in spite of the OP's statements that it simply did not work for them do sound like the responder is simply saying, "I was so successful so you must have done something wrong." I'm not saying that is what is always intended, but that is how it reads TO ME.

I appreciate all informative posts whether they be positive or negative pertaining to the band. If we just look for the positive then we are doing ourselves a disservice. I will not be a Pollyanna when it comes to something like surgery and having a foreign item inserted in my body.

Yes, I've seen some threads called - what did you name your band - or something like that - so apparantely some do. It takes all kinds, I guess.

[JourneyGirl 10]

WOW!!! I am not sure what to say but need to say something.

CM- I am newer to this site and have not been around long. I don't know your story and don't need to know it. It is clear that you are not a fan of the lap band. In every area of life there are going to be people for and against things. To educate one's self on the pros and cons of things is an intelligent thing to do, especially when someone is looking into something that is life changing. So telling others of how it doesn't work for everyone is fine, that is your opinion. If someone posts that it is a tool and does work if you follow the the guide lines is someone else's opinion and is fine too.

What I don't understand is why you seem to have something (not positive) to say to many people who are for the band? Anyone who has read this thread (and a few other threads) know that you strongly feel the lap band is not a tool and does not work for everyone. You said it, but why repeat it over and over and be rude about it at times? Maybe I am misunderstanding/reading your posts. I am sure you are going to try to slam bast me as well but I am only asking so I can understand when I read the replies by you instead of ... honestly,,, starting to dislike you, when I don't even know you.

If there is an area in my life, whether it be struggling at parenting, being a wife or WLS that I am feeling like I am not making it at I like to hear success stories. That is one way we learn. We can see/read what others have done, what has worked for them and not worked. We get ideas that we may not have thought of ourselves or been told by support groups or doctors. It isn't always a "rub in your face" attitude. This is a support site I thought. If I find that I struggle with the band then I want to come and have others tell me what works for them, what didn't etc... I want to hear there success story because when I feel like giving up (and don't start on my saying that I think one who stops using the band gives up, that is clearly NOT what I am saying) I NEED to hear that the band can work! I will need the motivation and encouragement to go on and try again!

I can understand where you are coming from by saying that the OP doesn't want to hear about others success when they are struggling. I am just saying that maybe it will be the "umph" they need. GNY is going to take work too. I know it may have ticked me off if I was the OP'er but after time it would sink in too and be encouraging too.

[Humming Bird 275]

I'm not sure why you had a such a hard time and to be honest I'm not there yet so maybe one day I will. What I can tell you is that I've lost 36 lbs so far! I can also tell you that I had a small lapse in my eating habits; we had our annual superbowl party, followed that up with celebrating the completion of my Master's program, and then week at Disneyland. I dreaded coming home and stepping on the scale; the surprise....I didn't lose any weight but I also didn't gain any! Been back for two weeks and back on track ! I think I can and I know I will acheive my goals!!!!

were you trying to prove CM's point? strange, didn't you read the thread? :der: oh well.....

[Cleo's Mom 257]

WOW!!! I am not sure what to say but need to say something.

CM- I am newer to this site and have not been around long. I don't know your story and don't need to know it. It is clear that you are not a fan of the lap band. In every area of life there are going to be people for and against things. To educate one's self on the pros and cons of things is an intelligent thing to do, especially when someone is looking into something that is life changing. So telling others of how it doesn't work for everyone is fine, that is your opinion. If someone posts that it is a tool and does work if you follow the the guide lines is someone else's opinion and is fine too.

What I don't understand is why you seem to have something (not positive) to say to many people who are for the band? Anyone who has read this thread (and a few other threads) know that you strongly feel the lap band is not a tool and does not work for everyone. You said it, but why repeat it over and over and be rude about it at times? Maybe I am misunderstanding/reading your posts. I am sure you are going to try to slam bast me as well but I am only asking so I can understand when I read the replies by you instead of ... honestly,,, starting to dislike you, when I don't even know you.

If there is an area in my life, whether it be struggling at parenting, being a wife or WLS that I am feeling like I am not making it at I like to hear success stories. That is one way we learn. We can see/read what others have done, what has worked for them and not worked. We get ideas that we may not have thought of ourselves or been told by support groups or doctors. It isn't always a "rub in your face" attitude. This is a support site I thought. If I find that I struggle with the band then I want to come and have others tell me what works for them, what didn't etc... I want to hear there success story because when I feel like giving up (and don't start on my saying that I think one who stops using the band gives up, that is clearly NOT what I am saying) I NEED to hear that the band can work! I will need the motivation and encouragement to go on and try again!

I can understand where you are coming from by saying that the OP doesn't want to hear about others success when they are struggling. I am just saying that maybe it will be the "umph" they need. GNY is going to take work too. I know it may have ticked me off if I was the OP'er but after time it would sink in too and be encouraging too.

Actually, I don't think you know where I'm coming from. Did you not read my posts #62, #65? What don't you understand? You don't strike me as someone who can't figure things out.

The OP had the band removed and a gastric bypass revision. What possible contribution did that self-congratulatory post make? I asked that anyone show how a post like that provides anything to the OP. It doesn't. It was insulting. And when I see a struggling poster insulted, I come to the defense.

If you have followed my posts you will see that I don't insult struggling posters. I do offer support and some suggestions even though the band has never worked for me as promoted. And I don't feel the need to defend the band. But I can still offer some advice about things I have tried or things that might work.

You don't want to know my story. Well, my story has been out there so I guess you missed it. Everything in my life has been a struggle. I battled breast cancer at the same time my husband was losing his battle to cancer. I became a widow at 54. I got this band so that I wouldn't have to struggle with this battle with hunger that I've had all my adult life. But the band has failed me in that regard. Any success I have had has been mine. Not the band's. And so I continue to struggle with hunger.

And I couldnt' care less if you don't like me. I am not on here to win some popularity contest. Those who have been on here long enough to know my posts know that I am not a rude person but I will condemn a post that I think is inappropriate, harsh, insulting or blaming to a struggling poster. It's one thing if the OP asks for it (a kick in the pants). This OP did not.

And as I've said before - there are plenty of forums on here for success, rah, rah, rah, I love the band stories. They don't need to be put "in your face" with strugglers.

[Amanda1982 142]

CM ,

My concern is that you are becoming the one that is inappropriate, harsh, insulting and blaming. How can you defend someone if you are becoming the very thing you are defending them against? Who is going to defend posters against you? Sorry about your struggle you've had it very hard and I can't imagine what you've gone thru. Good Luck to you and I hope that you bitterness doesn't consume you! I'm done with this thread!!!!! Good Luck to everyone and the OP on your new journey.

[Cleo's Mom 257]

"Those who have been on here long enough to know my posts know that I am not a rude person but I will condemn a post that I think is inappropriate, harsh, insulting or blaming to a struggling poster. It's one thing if the OP asks for it (a kick in the pants). This OP did not."

CM , My concern is that you are becoming the one that is inappropriate, harsh, insulting and blaming. How can you defend someone if you are becoming the very thing you are defending them against? Who is going to defend posters against you?

Sorry about your struggle you've had it very hard and I can't imagine what you've gone thru. Good Luck to you and I hope that you bitterness doesn't not consume you! I'm done with this thread!!!!! Good Luck to everyone and the OP on your new journey.

Don't be concerned for me. I can handle my posts and those that disagree with me. The only thing I've done is point out posts that I didn't think were helpful to the OP and belonged elsewhere. And anyone is free to disagree with me and have and many have come to the defense of the posters I have disagreed with, because they are of the same mindset.

And I might add there are many who agree with me and have started whole threads about the bashing those who have problems with the band get from the cheerleaders for and defenders of the band.

And while I am disappointed and feel cheated that the band didn't work for me - you misconstrue it as bitterness. But I would rather be thought of as bitter than smug, superior and judgemental like many of the band defenders.