Complusive Overeater!

[gellergirl 0]

Hi

I have been in a whole bunch of lap band websites but find that no one talks about the pain and struggle - the cheating, testing the boundaries of this band too soon...

I have to say I didn't have the fear factor that held everyone back hence I was pb'ing by my 2nd week. I'm on day 28 and I can't wait to be six weeks out and try normal food! I am on mushies and eating carbs and gaining...I lost 13 pounds and have gained back 2! Started exercising seriously taking hour walks but can't wait to have that first fill AS I AM STILL OVEREATING! I'm on one Protein Drink in the am (found one with 51g protein), than Soup for lunch and dinner. I found these Soups at vons but they are all high in calorie and high in carbs! I am despairing over not getting to eat properly ie protein...I've had refried Beans with cheese, chili with beans...um, soup. Really big on soup. Wasn't keen on blending things...avocado...

Have been drinking coffee as I started school and just CANNOT COPE WITHOUT - but including loads of milk. I can eat A LOT. I do get full and not eating as much as before but expected much more restriction. For instance, I had a huge cup of Tomato Soup then half a carton of cottage cheese...and I was stuffed so I really didn't listen to when I was actually full and over ate but on the other hand was it really that much? I have been assured that I do have restriction and I have to learn to slow down, not wolf my food, take small bites etc...........AAAAARRGGGGGGGGHHH!!!!

For instance, I woke up hungry and made two soft boiled eggs, then proceeded to eat them too fast and BOOM, pain in chest, having to lean over the counter, tried jumping up and down - waving arms around, anything to shift the lump in my esophagus, and if you haven't already DON'T DRINK TO TRY AND GET IT DOWN! Because those are the times when it all comes right back up THRU THE NOSE...

I have not read musch about people experiencing these difficulties with restraint. I know I'm not the only one having difficulties controlling myself WHEN I HAVE BEEN COMPULSIVE ALL MY LIFE! I really needed to be counseled on all this before hand. I get it nooowwww. I have a little baby spoon and take tiny little bites and chew, chew, chew to remind me to slow down. Of course, my only worry is have I done any damage during this healing period for I honestly had a hard time controlling myself...we will see after my first fluoroscope fill.

I have not been Dr Kuri's ideal patient...

Today I went to a restaurant for the first time and ordered veg soup and a bowl of chili. Had a hard time with the veg but ate it all of course, then ate all the chili no problem, only I was sooooo full. I could have just order the chili and been fine. Having to down size is difficult...AM I THE ONLY ONE!?

Been drinking the Water and Decaf green tea, also got some liquid cranberry concentrate to put in my water as the green tea and cranberry help to break down the fat molecules - I need all the help I can GET!

Please note many capitals in email as I am a bit wound up about the whole thing - just want to be able to eat healthy with enough restriction to moderate my compulsive overeating that I couldn't control in the first place! I realize it may take many fills to get to a point where I have some help...

I really wanted to share honestly my pitfalls to support anyone going through the same thing - with the fear of having screwed up the band at such an early stage, ugh...

Hopefully I am on the right track now! Thank you for all your contributions!

[DiDi 0]

Hey, I here ya gal! I too have a bad habit of continuing to eat even after I'm stuffed. Just can't stop. Hopefully will be better after fill(s). And maybe it gets better after time. I sure appreciate hearing things like this as I'm probably going to have some of those same problems & I want to hear about them now & no surprises after I get my band. Take care.

[Alexandra 55]

Gellergirl, it will come. Try to think of your band as your FRIEND, your teammate on this road to better health. Try to pay attention to it when it tells you you're done. There will always be more food later, if you want it.

Finishing a meal so soon is a really new experience for those of use who have eaten our way to morbid obesity; we all struggle with it, believe me. Don't expect your thought processes to change overnight. This is a big change and it will take time! In the meantime remember that it's about your health and eating less is the WHOLE point.

There will always be more food...later. Let the meal be done when it's done, and listen to what full feels like.

You're not alone!!

[Jessiebear 2]

Yep! Been there! Alex gave some really great advice. Thanks for sharing your trials & tribulations.

[Iluvharleys 15]

You'll have more control when you get a fill, it's really hard to contol any kind of eating when you are wide open. Try to order one item, eat and then give it a few minutes to settle, I bet you'll find you can do without the second bowl. You also might trying drinking a glass of Water before you eat to help fill you up too.

[doinit4me 0]

I was banded on 12/15/05, and am also learning that the band was a lifestyle change that I wasn't quite ready for. However, I am glad that I have the band and am slowly, learning to work with it. I still have moments when I over do it, but I am learning with each stomach ache, that I have to change, it's a choice I have made. So, little by little, I am practicing the band rules. It's nice to know that someone else is experiencing the same trials as I am. My guess is that we have all struggled with our band at one point or another. I keep telling myself small changes, one day at a time and most of all, I get support from boards such as this. Best of luck to you all. God Bless.

[migbt 0]

Gellergirl,

I feel for you! I feel everything you feel... literally! I am getting banded on Janaury 12 and I overeat like crazy now... Like I won't eat again. I am scared that I won't be able to stop when I get banded....

Thank you so much for sharing yourself.. It has helped me to know that I am not alone.

I will pray for you and ME!

D

[gellergirl 0]

A hundred million thank yous! I really needed to hear I wasn't alone out there. Everyday gets easier and I realize NOW the depth of the learning experience I am going through...all of your words support me and I am ever grateful!

Change is inevitable; progress is optional!

[DeLarla 22]

If you click on my name and read "all posts by DeLarla" you'll see that I suffer from the same struggles. I'm severely addicted to food, and I'm overly compulsive and USED TO eat till past being full. I just lost my band due to restriction, and now I'm trying harder than ever to fight the demons.

This time I'm not taking one approach, but I'm using every single resource available at once, from talking on the phone to reading books to looking into local support groups. I promise, you aren't alone.

[DeLarla 22]

I just remembered that I started a thread called, "Why are you Fat" a long time ago. I was frustrated, like you, because it seemed to me that I was the ONLY one suffering from compulsion and obsessive overeating. It's really interesting to learn that we are all overweight for different reasons. You might want to check out that thread and find the people with similar problems and ask how they cope. Good luck to you.

[vluckey 1]

I get what you're saying. I feel so bad for every little "cheat" and wonder if I am really going to be able to do this. For instance, today I had my first fill, I was told to have Clear liquids until tomorrow. So of course, having only had a Protein shake and a little cottage cheese before going I was freakin' hungry tonight. So, I had a sugar free yogurt smoothie. Now I am fighting feelings like I am going to fail, I screwed up, etc. Over a freakin' sugar free smoothie!

Here's what I tell myself, if it don't hurt then I'm okay.

I had a neice live with me for several years. She was the tiniest thing. I would make these great home made meals (something she'd never had at home) and she would take a little of this, a spoon full of that. She would have sooooo much plate exposed it would make me uncomfortable. EAT! I would tell her, fill up your plate! She would say to me, this is all I need.

I was 300 pounds, she was about 135.

My band is helping me to make my plate look like hers. PERIOD.

Try not to get anxious. That will make you eat more. You know it. I know it. We have many many many months before we can deem this a failure or success. Let it do what it's supposed to. If you are needing counceling, GET IT! Whatever it takes to help you. You're worth it! Do what you can to help you get your success.

[Firecallie 2]

I am right there with you. I have cheated and felt really low and then cheated again. I am not proud of myself but i have yet to control it. See post "I completely utterly blew it" in support if you are ever thinking you are alone.

[Jachut 487]

I think I've got a fairly health dose of the fear factor working on my side, I really am too afraid to push it at all. We've had a wonderful family day down at the beach, 2 and a half hours drive away and we just came in at 7.30 pm - so we ordered a pizza. I do think takeaway has its place and when you're out all day and walk in at almost bedtime for the kidlets, its fair enough to order a pizza.< /p>

Ok - I'm brave enough at a month out to try it, with some trepidation. Went down well. Was not satisfied, afterall I had not eaten since midday, 7 and a half hours ago. Had a second very small slice. Yum. I want another one. But I'm WAY too afraid to even try it.

But I do sometimes find I feel really cheated when something is really enjoyable, its finished so quickly! My mind cant catch up with the fact that my body has said enough, already.

[bandayed 0]

I keep touting it all over this board -- we all got here through unhealthy relationships with food. I have been banded since the end of October and since I started back to "real food" I have been "testing" my band. I called my Doc to request a fill and told him how much I could eat. His answer was simple and it made me realize how different I am from "normal" people. He said: "well don't do it". Just like that I realized it. I don't HAVE to eat as much as I possible can. I have had to try to retrain my thinking to have the band as my friend rather than my enemy. I now don't eat something unless I HAVE TO have it. There's a big difference btw. eating as much as you can vs stopping as soon as you can. I too think I am just realizing the learning potential of the band -- I think it is probably the biggest benefit the band offers!

[hairagain 0]

Oh man!!!! I am getting my band on Jan 19th. I am so worried the same old life style will haunt me too. I have some important re-learning to do. I am on the protien drinks 2 times a day and 4 0z Protein and 1/2 vegies. I am struggling with the hunger big time. Drinking Water and some tea to

help me past the rough times. I have been distracting myself as much as possible. Soooooo glad I saw this post and can be prepared for the days

ahead. Like someone said earlier. If you need help get it. We (I) am worth it. I think after carrying all this weight so long my self-esteem is in the crapper. Can't wait to have some success and positive results.