Initial excitement is fleeting..

[JerseyGirl80 12]

So I'm 7 weeks post-op and the initial excitement of being banded is fleeting. *big freakin' sigh* Am I alone in this? Does anyone else feel like they were super excited in the beginning and now it's just like, "ok , now what?" Friends and co-workers keep asking "how much have you lost?" and it's making me feel pressured. Every time I talk to them they ask and it's getting on my nerves because I see their puzzled faces when I don't have any big numbers to tell them. I feel like no one gets it, no one really understands the band, and I don't have the time or patience to explain every last detail of this process to every single person that asks. Grrrrrr!!!

I knew all about bandster hell, which is where I am and I've accepted it so I don't need to be yelled at or lectured by all you snotty-better than everyone else-know it all-sitting on my high horse-senior bandsters, so save it, I don't need your negativity and neither does anyone else.

Anyway, right now I'm feeling the need to whine, and you are the only people that can understand! I also get the fact that this isn't some magic pill and that I do need to work my butt off, and that's fine, it's really how I wanted to lose the weight anyway, but I'm just getting frustrated lately.

I'm getting full faster, eating way less and eating the right things 98% of the time, but still getting a little hungrier between meals than I was a few weeks ago (especially in the last few days) and I could still eat like a linebacker if I really tried (even after my first fill on Jan 18th, which is normal, I know) but I don't eat that way in fear of barfing, again. I had my first meeting with the porcelain Gods the other day, that wasn't fun. It was my fault, ate too heavy too early in the day and got stuck on the 2nd bite. .Oh well, I survived, lesson learned.

My weight is trickling off very very slowly especially in the last 2 weeks, but I was just hoping that I would have done better or would have found more motivation to work out by now. I really am happy that I have lost what I have lost, I'm just more upset with myself for not feeling more motivated. Again, my initial excitement is fleeting and I want it back. I was all gung ho and motivated to work out after surgery then within a month I fell back into my old lazy slump.

I need some motivation and some accountability buddies! Thanks for reading my rant!

[Melissannde 41]

At the risk of being considered a

snotty-better than everyone else-know it all-sitting on my high horse-senior bandster

this was in the "shrink yourself" newsletter recently. It's referring to making yourself exercise, but could be extrapolated to any type of motivation.

You're on track with #2, asking for an accountability buddy.

Some simple tips that you can use to tame your rebellious self and exercise more are: setting

small goals, enlisting a buddy, and not waiting until you feel like exercising.

1. Set Small Goals - You can commit to five minutes of exercise a day

or one exercise session a week. Only when you've met that goal for a few

weeks should you add more. This leads to a feeling of success instead of

failure.

2. Enlist a Buddy - Making a date to exercise with a friend can make a

huge difference. You help each other stay accountable and it's more fun.

3. Don't Wait Till You Feel Like It-You may never feel like exercising

so it's better to just put it on a calendar and do it like any other

necessary responsibility.

http://www.shrinkyou...om/join_now.asp

[JerseyGirl80 12]

At the risk of being considered a this was in the "shrink yourself" newsletter recently. It's referring to making yourself exercise, but could be extrapolated to any type of motivation.

You're on track with #2, asking for an accountability buddy.

Some simple tips that you can use to tame your rebellious self and exercise more are: setting

small goals, enlisting a buddy, and not waiting until you feel like exercising.

1. Set Small Goals - You can commit to five minutes of exercise a day

or one exercise session a week. Only when you've met that goal for a few

weeks should you add more. This leads to a feeling of success instead of

failure.

2. Enlist a Buddy - Making a date to exercise with a friend can make a

huge difference. You help each other stay accountable and it's more fun.

3. Don't Wait Till You Feel Like It-You may never feel like exercising

so it's better to just put it on a calendar and do it like any other

necessary responsibility.

http://www.shrinkyou...om/join_now.asp

Melissa, the "know it alls" I was referring to ( and no you do not sound like one, thank you for your helpful response) were the ones that think new people are stupid and just rant on berating them instead of offering helpful advice or just ignoring our posts and keeping their negativity to themselves, I've seen this way too often on here and it's discouraged me from posting.

Thank you again for responding. Maybe the mistake I'm making is that I feel like I have to be a crazed work out obsessed maniac, like I used to be whenever I'd start on another one of my "diets", I'd go from a couch potato to someone who would work out everyday for a few weeks or months and quit. I do need to take this slowly and make smaller goals for myself instead of getting too overwhelmed with the thought of having to be super woman.

[TracyNYC 4]

Bandster hell, for me, was not just about the hunger. I was very cranky and weepy. It should pass. My work friends who knew were like "Whoa, slap it down a little" when I would go a little nutso over stupid stuff.

Hope this makes you laugh: One day when I was biting someone's head off, I turned to my friend (who is heavy) and said, " This is why skinny girls are bitches, they are hungry.".....

Keep using these boards for support, Ignore the self-righteous posts and take what you can from the others. I try not to engage in the back and forth nonsense. i teach High Scoll, don't need HS arguments on here too.

[ravendays 2]

Hope this makes you laugh: One day when I was biting someone's head off, I turned to my friend (who is heavy) and said, " This is why skinny girls are bitches, they are hungry.".....

I love it hahaha

[JerseyGirl80 12]

Bandster hell, for me, was not just about the hunger. I was very cranky and weepy. It should pass. My work friends who knew were like "Whoa, slap it down a little" when I would go a little nutso over stupid stuff.

Hope this makes you laugh: One day when I was biting someone's head off, I turned to my friend (who is heavy) and said, " This is why skinny girls are bitches, they are hungry.".....

Keep using these boards for support, Ignore the self-righteous posts and take what you can from the others. I try not to engage in the back and forth nonsense. i teach High Scoll, don't need HS arguments on here too.

Some days are better than others, I'm not liking how hungry and lazy I've been the last few days.

lol thanks for that, it's true, skinny girls are bitches because they're hungry.. I have been quite cranky lately, carb/grease/sugar withdraw? If I close my eyes real tight I can almost feel like a skinny bitch hehe

[happygirl65 5]

I know it hasn't been that long since you had a fill but you may need another if you are getting so hungry so soon...after such a short time it would be unusual for you to have hit the green zone already from what I am reading. I am sorry you are going through this. It looks to me like you really have lost a tremendous amount of weight. That must feel really good!

It is hard to deal with people not understanding it and you know, you don't have to explain it to them. It's not your job. Your job is only to live your best life, focus on finding the joys in your own life and embracing that.

You are probably feeling blue that you haven't lost more...(even though you are successful already) I was that way even before I had the band and my friends would ask me all the time how it was going....clearly they couldn't "see a difference" because it takes about 20 pounds before someone else can see anything on a person at 40 pounds they really start commenting. The problem comes in usually when we expect too much of ourselves. It IS important to raise the bar of expectations of ourselves but we also have to forgive ourselves for not being perfect because NO ONE IS.

The fact is that people who have not battled obesity don't understand your issues and how hard it makes it for you when they are always "checking in". You could explain your feelings to them, or you could just try to relax and let it go, knowing that you are making life long changes...which means you WILL have days where you feel down despite your great choices, and some when you just make some bad choices and then you will get right back up and do better. Life is not a success only journey, we live, we learn, we do better. That is exactly what you are doing.

Try taking some time to yourself to enjoy things that YOU like to do that don't involve focusing on your weight. You may be overwhelming yourself with it, just living and breathing weight loss instead of creating a new healthy life that is not so food centric. It's a thought. My heart goes out to you. We fight the very same battle and I think I do understand. I wish you all the best and every happiness.

[JerseyGirl80 12]

I know it hasn't been that long since you had a fill but you may need another if you are getting so hungry so soon...after such a short time it would be unusual for you to have hit the green zone already from what I am reading. I am sorry you are going through this. It looks to me like you really have lost a tremendous amount of weight. That must feel really good!

It is hard to deal with people not understanding it and you know, you don't have to explain it to them. It's not your job. Your job is only to live your best life, focus on finding the joys in your own life and embracing that.

You are probably feeling blue that you haven't lost more...(even though you are successful already) I was that way even before I had the band and my friends would ask me all the time how it was going....clearly they couldn't "see a difference" because it takes about 20 pounds before someone else can see anything on a person at 40 pounds they really start commenting. The problem comes in usually when we expect too much of ourselves. It IS important to raise the bar of expectations of ourselves but we also have to forgive ourselves for not being perfect because NO ONE IS.

The fact is that people who have not battled obesity don't understand your issues and how hard it makes it for you when they are always "checking in". You could explain your feelings to them, or you could just try to relax and let it go, knowing that you are making life long changes...which means you WILL have days where you feel down despite your great choices, and some when you just make some bad choices and then you will get right back up and do better. Life is not a success only journey, we live, we learn, we do better. That is exactly what you are doing.

Try taking some time to yourself to enjoy things that YOU like to do that don't involve focusing on your weight. You may be overwhelming yourself with it, just living and breathing weight loss instead of creating a new healthy life that is not so food centric. It's a thought. My heart goes out to you. We fight the very same battle and I think I do understand. I wish you all the best and every happiness.

Yes it is still early in the game for me, I guess I'm just getting a little impatient and overwhelmed in the last few days. Afraid of failing or not doing as well as I should be blah blah. I'm good at beating myself up, I guess we all are. Thank you so much for your kind words, they're encouraging, it's good to know there are others that understand. I'm scheduled for another fill Feb 22nd, I'm hoping that will help some. Until then I will try to eat more veggies and thicken up my Protein shakes with ice and frozen fruit in the blender to help keep me full. I just sooo can't wait to be satisfied with a tiny bit of food! As much of a lover of food I am, I hate it, I'm sick of eating. That probably sounds weird coming from a food addict but lately I can't be bothered with eating anything even when I am hungry.

I know I don't have to explain myself to people, I shouldn't and I'm not. I normally wouldn't care what anyone thinks and I'd be the first person to tell someone else the same thing, but when it comes to my weight I get so defensive lately. I know I'm trying and I know this process is slow and being that I was 300+lbs losing 35lbs is hardly noticable to people, but it is kinda upsetting when they are constantly "checking in" So I kind of feel like I'm being judged now because people know I'm supposed to be magically losing weight, since that's what most people think the band is, magic, and yet the weightloss is barely noticable. But I know, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks, and this is about me and my life and changes, I gotta get over all that and just breathe for a minute I guess.

Best of luck to you too!

[~*~Rachel~*~ 2]

Wow wow wow..... Back up!!!!!! Victoria are you crazy!!!! I talk to you just about everyday! This is not a diet! this is a lifestyle change. It is emotional it messes with your head in worse ways! You are 7 weeks post op and have only had 1 fill and you have lost 35lbs! How many people on here never loose until there 3rd or 4th fill? Stop worrying about other people and asking you how much you have lost. I know you want to hear the difference for that does give you motivation but things have got to come in its own time. This is for you not them. I am sorry to hear you are still getting hungry but maybe that first fill is not your sweet spot. Its okay to rant and rave my God you know I do lol. The truth is the first few weeks are hard they are a test in the worst ways but you have made it 7 weeks. Tomorrow is always a new day to get back on the wagon. I fill like I have to do that everyday I wake up say okay today I am going to be good with my Protein Vitamins and Water walking and if I don't I get up the next day and say it again one of these days we will get our butts in gear! Don't loose motivation yet. Your doing great! Relax. make a goal for today fulfill it... Make that same goal for tomorrow and add another... fulfill both we will get this done! Take a moment and breath and think of what all you have accomplished so far think of all you have been through and push forward!

[deedee72 4]

I am in exactly the same spot as you! (post below) I completely understand!! Hang in there!

[Mjv013 67]

You have been given some great advice. Im 3 1/3 moths post op and 5 fills in. Im still hungry. Not only is this a physical change but emotional as well. If your not gaining then hey, you're better off then before. Thats how I look at it. I had a very emotional time for a while. Changing is emotionally draining at times. Remember that a healthy loss is 1-2 lbs a week. Doesnt seem like much but each week that 1-2 lbs less then the week before. Take each day as a small victory and be good to yourself. Oh and be sure to eat really slowly. I pretty much have no restriction at the moment but if I eat slowly I get fuller faster. Drink lots of Water. I like to drink hot green tea, makes me feel like something is in my stomach besides water which is not true but I "pretend". You are doing great.

[JerseyGirl80 12]

Wow wow wow..... Back up!!!!!! Victoria are you crazy!!!! I talk to you just about everyday! This is not a diet! this is a lifestyle change. It is emotional it messes with your head in worse ways! You are 7 weeks post op and have only had 1 fill and you have lost 35lbs! How many people on here never loose until there 3rd or 4th fill? Stop worrying about other people and asking you how much you have lost. I know you want to hear the difference for that does give you motivation but things have got to come in its own time. This is for you not them. I am sorry to hear you are still getting hungry but maybe that first fill is not your sweet spot. Its okay to rant and rave my God you know I do lol. The truth is the first few weeks are hard they are a test in the worst ways but you have made it 7 weeks. Tomorrow is always a new day to get back on the wagon. I fill like I have to do that everyday I wake up say okay today I am going to be good with my Protein Vitamins and Water walking and if I don't I get up the next day and say it again one of these days we will get our butts in gear! Don't loose motivation yet. Your doing great! Relax. make a goal for today fulfill it... Make that same goal for tomorrow and add another... fulfill both we will get this done! Take a moment and breath and think of what all you have accomplished so far think of all you have been through and push forward!

I know I know! I'm havin' a mental breakdown lol. I am feeling better today though, I'm blaming all the ice and snow for making me lose it lately! And Yes, this is not a diet and I'm doing good with my eating, but I know my weight loss would be so much better and I would feel better about myself if I just moved my big self around a little more.

Side note and maybe TMI, but this made me really happy this morning and made all the grief worth it,

my boobs are officially further out from my body than my belly! That hasn't been so in a long time lol! I noticed this this morning when I put on a smaller sized t-shirt.. I'm excited about that! I'm starting to look like a woman again and not a butterball!!! YAY!

[2beskinny 4]

Don't worry - what you are feeling is a normal (and sucky) part of the process. My first "low" came at about the same timeframe for me. I'll pass a weightloss analogy that I have found helpful. Weightloss is like a relationship: In the beginning there is a honeymoon phase where nothing can trip you up and your optimism is overflowing! Then comes phase 2, where you are back to reality and realize that there are faults and things that are hard to deal with that you must overcome if you are to be successful. Then phase 3: here comes decision time... either decide to stick it out or get a divorce (I decided I'm "done" with divorcing my attempts at health!); Phase 4: Renewed resolve and permanent lifestyle change. I think I'm in phase 4, but the jury is still out on that one. There are days when I still feel like chucking it all, but I drag my ass out for exercise and make good food choices and feel better by the end of the day. I'm waiting for the time when it all feels "easy." Ha! I don't think that day will come But then slowly, I realize that through my toughest days there are bad habits that I have eliminated and will not (cannot) go back to. I have not had a soda in well over 6 months...I have eaten from a drive through window approximately 2x in the last 6 months and what I ordered was nothing like I would have ordered before my surgery. I have enjoyed many fine meals in great restaurants but only about 1/3 of them. The rest is taken home and saved for a later meal. All these changes add up and I realize I am on the right path. Patience is a virtue that is CRITICAL to this process! I am still learning that everyday Good luck to you!

[JerseyGirl80 12]

You have been given some great advice. Im 3 1/3 moths post op and 5 fills in. Im still hungry. Not only is this a physical change but emotional as well. If your not gaining then hey, you're better off then before. Thats how I look at it. I had a very emotional time for a while. Changing is emotionally draining at times. Remember that a healthy loss is 1-2 lbs a week. Doesnt seem like much but each week that 1-2 lbs less then the week before. Take each day as a small victory and be good to yourself. Oh and be sure to eat really slowly. I pretty much have no restriction at the moment but if I eat slowly I get fuller faster. Drink lots of Water. I like to drink hot green tea, makes me feel like something is in my stomach besides Water which is not true but I "pretend". You are doing great.

Thank you so much. I know all these things, we all do, but it helps so much hearing them from others that "get it". I have been drinking broth between meals to also "pretend" there's something of substance in there, it does work.

[JerseyGirl80 12]

Don't worry - what you are feeling is a normal (and sucky) part of the process. My first "low" came at about the same timeframe for me. I'll pass a weightloss analogy that I have found helpful. Weightloss is like a relationship: In the beginning there is a honeymoon phase where nothing can trip you up and your optimism is overflowing! Then comes phase 2, where you are back to reality and realize that there are faults and things that are hard to deal with that you must overcome if you are to be successful. Then phase 3: here comes decision time... either decide to stick it out or get a divorce (I decided I'm "done" with divorcing my attempts at health!); Phase 4: Renewed resolve and permanent lifestyle change. I think I'm in phase 4, but the jury is still out on that one. There are days when I still feel like chucking it all, but I drag my ass out for exercise and make good food choices and feel better by the end of the day. I'm waiting for the time when it all feels "easy." Ha! I don't think that day will come But then slowly, I realize that through my toughest days there are bad habits that I have eliminated and will not (cannot) go back to. I have not had a soda in well over 6 months...I have eaten from a drive through window approximately 2x in the last 6 months and what I ordered was nothing like I would have ordered before my surgery. I have enjoyed many fine meals in great restaurants but only about 1/3 of them. The rest is taken home and saved for a later meal. All these changes add up and I realize I am on the right path. Patience is a virtue that is CRITICAL to this process! I am still learning that everyday Good luck to you!

Thank you for the support and the great analogy, it means alot!