Getting Lap Band But Very Worried

[Sombra1718 55]

<FONT face=Georgia><STRONG>Hello eveyone,

I am currently in my first week of pre-op diet. My insurance requires three months pre-op diet. The last three weeks will be liquid diet. If everything goes to plan I should be banded in April or May. I was weighed in last week at 354lbs. I am 5'5" and just turned 24.

I have been considering surgery for many years but decided that I liked Lap Band the best about a year ago. I am not worried about the actual surgery itself but I am terrified about what might happen after I am banded.

Background: My mother said I was born wanting food. She said she could not breast feed me for very long because I was always so hungry. I have always been an overeater and it became apparent when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade. I had some very traumatic events (just like everyone else) like parent's devorce and accident/coma/brain dammage/and finally death of my father. There was a large amount of weight gain after each of these events. I am absolutely a comfort eater. I have done many diets...and weightwatchers which I really enjoy but I never seem to last for more than a few months. I am capable of loosing weight and I do when I put effort into it but the big issue is that I have not found a coping skill for stress or anxiety to replace food. (I have very severe anxiety/panic attack and some depression) The first thing I would look forward to when I woke up was what I could eat and when I was on diets or weightwatchers I would almost be depressed and feel like I didn't really have anything to look forward to when I woke up. I constantly have cravings for food and when I can't have it I really really want it. It all sounds so very negitive but there are some things that are positive as well. I truly enjoy working out (although I have not been working out for the past couple years). I was a competitive swimmer in highschool and would love to find a swimming team of some sort once I am in better shape and not so embarrassed to be in a swim suit. I think that I was blessed with some good genetics because even though I weigh so much my body has kept an "hourglass" shape (just a thick hourglass) so with less weight I think I can be happy with my body. I know the band is just a tool and wont help with my mental issues with food. I am just very afraid that I will always crave food as badly as I do now and because of that be miserable. Did anyone else feel that way?

Ashley

[isaviolinist 11]

I have binge eating disorder (sounds like you do too). People on here have had the experience that once they have been banded, their compulsion to eat goes away (although I wonder if they had a compulsive eating disorder to begin with...not sure). I did NOT have that experience. And please dont fool yourself - its extremely easy to binge with the band (think 4 milkshakes, or 2 pints of ice cream, or 10 cups of pudding...whatever...their is tons that will slide right through). I initially lost almost 80 pounds and then regained almost 50. And it was due to bingeing. Ive since lost all that I had regained plus some, but I've started seeing a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. I would STRONGLY suggest getting into therapy or a support group or something similar prior to being banded. I am so glad that I've chosen to go to therapy now, but I think my experience could've gone a little bit smoother if I had started to deal with these issues before my surgery. good luck!

[Sombra1718 55]

Wow that is worrisome. I have never been diagnosed with an eating disorder by any doctors or psychologists but I also never specifically asked if they thought I had an eating disorder. But that does sound about right. I will definently look for a therapist who can help me with it. I know there will be times that I will probably "fall off the wagon" and even binge but I would do that without the band too. Hopefully the fact that I spent so much money, and some pain, and effort to have it put in and that it will help me if I follow the rules will help keep me motivated. I don't think I can be any worse off than I already am.

Ashley

[ThinSIstaSoon 2]

I started seeing a therapist because I too am a binge eater, food is my best friend - or was! Now my band is! Lol I was worried that I'd literally eat right through my band or change my food addiction to another addiction. I know two people who got gastric by pass only to then become alcoholics! They have both started gaining weight into their second and third years post op.

My therapist asks hard questions like, why aren't u worthy? And points out ways in which my binge eating is a testimony to how I feel I am not worthy of happiness. I'm only 5 days post op but have lost 15 lbs in 17 days due to the liquid diet I'm prescribed. I never thought I could do this for 14 days much less 17!!! I want real food, but really feel like I can eat without binging now.

I am worthy and this tool (aka my best friend) is a reminder.

Get a good therapist! GOOD LUCK TO U, U CAN DO THIS! Food is not making u feel good and its time to realize u were not born hungry! U were born beautiful and healthy!!! Throw out those old ways of thinking!

[Sombra1718 55]

I am so relieved to hear that and so happy for you. I am afraid that I might find a way to bing and do it but so far I am having urges (only a couple weeks into pre-op diet) but I am controlling them. I have gotten a recomendation for a therapist who works with eating disorders and started OA so I think I will be able to handle it.