Help me understand

[BeverlyM 0]

Wow........smh. I always thought it was normal to have fellings of doubt. Guess I'm gonna have to bring this discussion up at my next group meeting. Lol...smh (don't get it wrong all sorts of should I have, what ifs, and everything elese go through my head but I'm happy with the decision I made)

[Humming Bird 275]

I think for some the reality sets in that there was a deep emotional attachment to food that they didn't know they had. Sometimes there is a deep emotional attachment to their fat as well. Being fat puts a wall between a person and the rest of the world. (deep, I know, even for me )

I think sometimes a person will fight the band all the way ...... like self sabotage. When I read some posts about wanting the band out right after someone gets it placed, it sounds like this to me.

[hautemama 1]

I had feelings of regret since I've gotten banded 3 weeks ago. The first was after I woke up in recovery and felt like my insides were hanging out. The second after spent 3 days in the hospital dry heaving - being too sick to take care of my little girl. Each episode was situational and I felt scared, worried that I made the wrong choice because I didn't feel good. But just as I have had feelings of fleeting regret, I've also had feelings of great joy when I step on the scale and it keeps going down- or when I sit down to a meal and get full in just a couple of bites when I used to clear the whole plate. As a nurse, I see this in my patients who under go life changing experiences- whether its having a baby or getting diagnosed with terminal illness. I think its very normal and very human to experience the ups and downs of life. I've never had a black or white moment in my life where I didn't question what I was doing. I believe that has helped me to make better decisions because I took a moment and really thought about decisions I was making. Yes, I do find it mind blowing that someone could eat a cheeseburger the day after surgery. Probably because I was too sick to even drink Water. But I'm sure the time will come that I will eat something I'm not susposed to. After all, I got my stomach banded not my mind. Every day I know I have to make good choices. But nobody is perfect. Mistakes will be made. The important thing is to get back on the wagon. And if this happened to me, I would hope that I would have support to get back on the wagon instead of telling me what an idiot I was. I don't know about you all, but I know I've had my share of people tell me to diet, eat less, don't eat that, exercise more...blah blah blah. How effective what that for you? How about someone calling you a fat whale? Did that work for you? It didn't work for me and that is why I am here, banded and all.

Hautemama

[sapphire12305 9]

Seriously...help me understand the thought processes. One assumes if you decided on the band that you did your research. You understood all of the steps along the way...that this was surgery and there would be a time of healing, etc.

How can someone have regrets the day of surgery or even the day after? Is this temporary pain really so bad that you regret making a decision that has the potential for changing your life?

How can someone have regrets before they've had their first fill? Sure...frustration that it takes so long to get to restriction where the hunger is gone...but regret at even having the band? That's a bit like buy a car and regretting the purchase before you even got behind the wheel.

Or is this all part of the "I want it all. I want it now" mentality that made us fat in the first place? C'mon people...PATIENCE...because I promise you, if you don't find an inner source of patience and acceptance that this is a lifelong process, you'll fail at the band as well.

.

[sapphire12305 9]

well, alot have those feeling right after surgery, i done 5 months of research before i got my band and i did have a break down day 2. Thinking what did I do, cried and all.. But, it didnt last long, and i love my band. I think you pump yourself up for this and read and research alot and decied yes this is for me, but we all all human, and have doubts, it's true reality sets in, it's like your divocing foods. It's like a grieving process, we all grieve different. As in regretting before the first fill, it's like you have your hopes so high and want results, and they dont come as fast as we like, most need or want a change or something right away to keep going and to stay motivated. It's very easy to slide back to old thoughts, i done tons of diets, none worked. I think we all will fight that for life or we wouldnt need this band if we were so stronge willed. I'm 20 months out and below my goal of 135. I fight cravings alot and know it will be that way forever, the band for me helps me with Portion Control. Just my thoughts..

[HeatherinCA 10]

I mean sure, a lot of things are different than I thought they would be. Recovery was more painful that I thought it would be (but come on it was for like a week), but nothing TOO bad. FWIW I'm not hungry now, I wasn't before my fill. I honestly can't believe that people are seriously starving hungry all day on a 1200 calorie diet. I can see a little hunger between meals, but so ravenous that it's torture? I don't believe it.

For me this was SO serious. I thought long and hard about it, did lots of research and this was really a last effort for me. The thought that me, or my insurance company is forking over $15,000 is serious! This isn't a joke, or something I can screw up by not following the rules.

I wish this all was more regulated, they had a diet plan, and healing plan for ALL doctors to follow. I feel like maybe some people aren't getting proper care. Or their doctor didn't explain things well enough or give them a book full of information.

[xavier 153]

My only ambivalence was thinking what if I am the rare person that fails. Thankfully this has been the best decision I ever made and I think everything you said, Elfie, was totally reasonable but some people take things very personally!

[hautemama 1]

_{Well said Sapphire!}