My first infertility APT sucked! (Long)

[Julie* 0]

Hi Rica-

I just wanted to offer you support. I also suffered from infertility though it was all me- DH had a normal sperm count. I also had late ovulation though and clomid with monitored IUI's was able to help with that. I conceived my son on the 4th try.

Regarding your husband- Did the doctor offer you any advice or insight on what to do next? A low sperm count can often be improved by Vitamins, lifestyle changes and sometimes even surgery. I am a long time member on a fertility website called: www.tcoyf.com I suggest you go there to the message boards. There is a whole section on male factor infertility and plenty of women going through what you and your husband are going through.

Take care.

[DeLarla 22]

It's hard, I know. I never tried as hard as you, but Chris and I never got pregnant together. Nothing is medically wrong with either of us according to our doctors, but Mother Nature gets to decide who has kids and who doesn't. I'm sorry about your news.

[dylansmom 27]

I also have had my share of infertility battles. I've had 4 miscarriages and waited 7 long years to receive my beautiful miracle called Dylan.

I switched doctors 3 times before finally getting one who cared enough to do the "right" test, and who actually listened to what I was saying.

Please know that there are so many options available to you and your husband right now, and please do not give up hope. Miracles do happen!

If you ever need to talk I am here for you. Please know that you are not alone and that there are many of us who have felt the sting of infertility, and the emptiness it casts upon us.

Hugs

[HarleyNana 10]

Like Kelly said miracles do happen. Hugs to you and DH.

[bushbaby 8]

So sorry to hear of your bad news Rica and I know how hard it is on you emotionally of what your going through. It took 8 years and 5 inseminations from frozen sperm that I picked out of catalog from California Cryobank and 3 different doctors to finally get my oldest miracle. She is 8 now. As hard as it is, don't give up hope. No matter how you get your baby, it will happen...it will just take some time. PM if you need some support, advice or just to chat...I will be happy to talk to you.

Thanks to all of you... I am still crying but I know that I will be okay. I told DH about the sperm bank and he flat out said he could never bear to see a baby come from me that was mine and not his... Although he did say that he would be able to think about embryo adoption... This is soo flippin difficult. I don't know how everyone does it. I never thought that this would happen to us. I feel so empty.

[bushbaby 8]

Hi Rica-

Regarding your husband- Did the doctor offer you any advice or insight on what to do next? A low sperm count can often be improved by Vitamins, lifestyle changes and sometimes even surgery. I am a long time member on a fertility website called: www.tcoyf.com I suggest you go there to the message boards. There is a whole section on male factor infertility and plenty of women going through what you and your husband are going through.

Take care.

Hi julie

The Dr. Wants him to have the count done again then go to the urologist. He said however it does not look good because he had volume... jut they were not moving... thanks for the websit I will def go there. Somehow It fees better to know that I am not alone

[Kimber-lilly 2]

I had an AI (artificial insemination) baby with donor sperm. I am FOREVER grateful to the man who made my gorgeous, funny, smart and happy little boy possible. That being said, there is no question about who his DADDY is--my husband. They love each other so much and their devotion to each other is amazing. Like they just allow me to live here with them. Perhaps one day your husband will rethink his position on sperm donors, if there is nothing else that can help the situation you are now in. We worked with Cryogenic Lab in Minnesota and were lucky on the first try. We were offered all kinds of extraordinary options that cost more money than we would ever have and might not work. We decided to go with what we knew would work, and ultimately give us what we wanted--a healthy baby. I come from a long line of adoptions and "merged" families, so I am accustomed to non-biological links between people I love.

Hugs to you both. Stay strong for each other and remember to TALK about this.

[bushbaby 8]

They love each other so much and their devotion to each other is amazing. Like they just allow me to live here with them. Perhaps one day your husband will rethink his position on sperm donors, if there is nothing else that can help the situation you are now in. We worked with Cryogenic Lab in Minnesota and were lucky on the first try. We were offered all kinds of extraordinary options that cost more money than we would ever have and might not work.

Hugs to you both. Stay strong for each other and remember to TALK about this.

Thanks... for that. I too believe that it could be a much more reasonable thing than the 10s of thousands of dollars the other way... but It would be my biological baby... I think that if we used a man that looked simular to him then it should be fine...he would not even discuss it with me. I know that last night he would have said no to anything... he was so incredible hurt by the news... I hope that a magic/prayers/miricles happen because he deserves to be a daddy.

[banded_for_life 2]

I agree with what Kimberlilly said, I am grateful as well. I chose features that matched my husband as close as I could. Not that it mattered...he was there for the delivery and were as close as a daddy and his spoiled princess of a daughter could be. But give yourself and your hubby a break, he just learned some devestating news about his body...give him some time to adjust to what he has learned...I bet he will come around in the end. *huggs*

[maudeispam 2]

Bushbaby your post broke my heart! Awe you poor lady! I hate it when true loving kind generous people want babies so bad and can't for some reason have them. Don't give up hope. Stranger things have happened and I know deep down there is a baby or child who needs a wonderful momma like you and a great daddy like your hubby. Keep the faith and best of luck! Oh and by the way as for the rude nurse/receptionist report her arse to the clinic manager, she broke a ton of Hippa laws! Plus that was just plain out RUDE! Someone needs to box her ears!!

[Marimaru 7]

I'm so sorry to hear about your news. I know my parents had a lot of trouble having me and I'm worried about having trouble down the line. I can't imagine being told that.

I would talk to your doctor about the way the nurses acted when you arrived to the office. No one needs to be treated like that. Especially since you are supposed to have some sense of privacy there.

I'm sure things will work out one way or another, but for now just take care of yourself and your husband. (((Hugs)))

[bushbaby 8]

Bushbaby your post broke my heart! Oh and by the way as for the rude nurse/receptionist report her arse to the clinic manager, she broke a ton of Hippa laws! Plus that was just plain out RUDE! Someone needs to box her ears!!

Thanks I wrote a letter to the facility last night...emailed it to the director... I don't think it matters. I just didnt need that along with this news... All of you are so awesome, I can't tell you how much this helps to be able to talk about it. I want to talk to my dh but he is at work... not the place to bother him anyway... I am sure looking at kids all day is killing him. (he teaches 6th grade) Thank God I don't have to go back to work until Monday.

[TraumaNurse 1]

I am so sorry to hear of your news. I don't have any advice, but wanted to lend a *hug* (((hug)))

[Bensmum1109 0]

Rica, I am so sorry you had to deal with someone so insensitive at the doctors office.

Infertility is a horrible thing to go through. I went through it for many years (10 with Hubby #1 and 3 with my current husband), until FINALLY (at the age of 38!) I got my little Ben. He is a Clomid baby.

Hang in there. You really are lucky to have good insurance coverage and even with both of your issues it is totally possible to get pregnant. And if you really want to get pregnant, I highly recommend adoption, because everyone I know who has adopted has gotten pregnant during or after the adoption process (I know it's weird but true!). Currently, one of my employees adopted a beautiful newborn December 1 after he and his wife tried to get pregnant for four years, and she is now expecting twin girls in June!! Next Christmas he will have three baby daughters.

[Afterglow 0]

I'm so sorry for your sadness. I cant offer any suggestions except for one way to deal with such insensitive clods as in that doctor's office. You can tell her that her announcing why you're there is a violation of the federal HIPAA right-to-privacy regulation and that a formal complaint can be filed against the office for her behavior. You can say it politely and let her know that you're only telling her that to save her and the office from problems in future cases where the patient might not be as nice as you are. I'd also recommend telling the doctor what happened and what you told her. Believe me, they dont want to have to deal with HIPAA investigations. Because of HIPAA, my doctor's office has even stopped calling out the patient's name when the doctor can see him/her; they give the patient a number instead and announce the number.