My intro

carlacee · January 21, 2011

My name is Carla. I have had the lap band since october of 2008. I will never regret getting it, however, I wish I went about it a little bit different. I made the decision in the beginning of June of 2008 to get it and because my insurance didn't cover it, I got to rush through and skip a lot of steps (psych consult/nutrition/support group). I have been overweight my entire life and my weight was slowly ballooning upwards. I was 200 lbs when I was 16 and clocked in at 326 the day of surgery. I had surgery when I was 31. I (stupidly) thought the band would fix everything that was wrong in my life. While it has done numerous things for me (no more sleep apnea, more self-confident in my job, and through the roof energy!) there have been set backs. One of my biggest issues that I have is that I am completely unable to see my weight loss. When I look in the mirror, I see no difference between me now and me then. Oh yeah, I weigh 180 now. I tend not to eat a lot. Three to five bites at a time, and sometimes it will go through the band and sometimes ... Well sometimes it revisits me. I eat about 3 "meals" a day. Depression has hit me in the past 6 months, because I just want to eat a "normal" meal without wondering where the nearest bathroom is. I despise going out to restaurants (ever since my episode at bob Evans with the little old lady standing outside of my bathroom stall lecturing me on bulimia). I decided to join this site as a form of support. In case you are wondering, yes I have spoke to my surgeon about this, but I don't think he listens. I am (somewhat) afraid that I will "fail" and gain weight again if he takes any Fluid out. Argh! Stupid me!

changing · January 21, 2011

Welcome Carla.I think you have made a really good choice to come here.I am waiting on an approval for the band.If that does not work I will go to Mexico.I have received a lot of support on this site.Stay encouraged.I am sure that someone else shares the same concerns as you.

annieM · January 22, 2011

Welcome!

No, I don't think taking Fluid out is the answer either. You would just regain weight and that would make you feel even worse. Do take care not to throw up too much so you don't end up with a dilated pouch like I did (not fun, I needed a new band) or a slip, etc. (You poor thing, getting a lecture at Bob Evans on Bulimia! What did you Say?)

Are you at your goal weight? Or close to it? 'Cause it sounds like from your post like you have, yet something is still missing. I'd bet your self esteem could use a boost. Perhaps if you shift your attention away from diets and food and find another activity to occupy your thoughts you would feel better about yourself. Like a hobby: pick up that musical instrument again, gardening, spending time with friends, exercising, reading ; find something to light your fire so you have less time to spend in your own head (not a neighborhood where you should spend a whole lot of time alone in). Once your mind has shifted away from food as an obsession, you will be able to enjoy those smaller amounts again. It's really tough to do, so cut yourself a break!

Really wrap yourself around the idea of reorganizing your time so you have more control over stuff that might undermine your self esteem. Clutter is a big offender. Letting bills pile up is another. Get a handle on life's little time robbers so you have more free time for your new found hobbies.

Are you getting enough sleep? Are you staying asleep? (yeah, look at me, up at 3 am on the lapband talk...) Getting enough exercise will de-stress you so your sleep patterns will normalize. (my excuse- we just bid on a house and my DH and I can't agree on a counter offer! ) A nap is OK and delicious if you need it. I' m already looking forward to mine later today.

Feel free to email me if you need more chat time.

Good luck, you can get through this!