Addiction, Emotional Eating and the Band

[Katsuri 0]

I'm interested to know what other struggling bandsters thoughts are on food addiction and emotional eating. Some background on me: I was banded in 2006 @ 343 lbs. I'm 48yrs old and have been overweight since childhood. I had pretty good success at first & ended up losing 98lbs by mid 2008 and kept if off for a year. I felt good..I was more outgoing and active and life seemed to be going well...but inside I struggled to find something to replace the food.

My anxiety level was through the roof so my Dr. added antidepressant medications to the mix. I really started to gain the weight then. To make a long story short, old habits of using food started coming back and I began eating around the band and gaining weight steadily. Rather than look a why I was eating and what, I decided I needed more fills. Eventually, I got too tight and couldn't even get Soup down. My dr. recommended a 2cc unfill and wait a month before slowly filling again. I got two .25 cc fills and then stopped getting fills because I didn't want to go through the pain anymore. At some point after that, just gave up on my band and gave in to food. The last 2 years I have been numbing myself out with food and have been unable to sustain any attempts to stop myself.

The good news is I have not overeaten all week. I have decided to start over and begin again by making some positive changes in my life and relationships to facilitate my success. I also began reading a book called "Shrink Yourself", by Roger Gould, MD. about the reasons why people overeat. I have to say, if I didn't know better I'd think this book was written about me. Has anyone else read this book? Some of it is hard to read, the truth is sometimes painful...but I wish I had read this book and been more proactive in learning about why I use food back when I first got banded. I find the information really eye opening and helpful to me. I'm one of those types that wants to know how things work and this guy really breaks it down and makes me really think and understand why I am doing this to myself. I know that when I'm under stress I eat..and I shouldn't. Breaking that coping mechanism learned and reinforced since childhood is going to take a long hard look in the mirror.

So finally, to my question: Does anyone have any tips, advice or care to share your story about how emotional eating has affected your life and your sucess with the band?

..oh and one last thing; I really don't like to see people say they have "failed" or are "failures" with the band. Just getting a Lap and dealing with all the related issues is a huge accomplishment and step toward getting healthy, and every single person who has tried it, win or lose..is a success. Don't ever forget that. Keep the faith and know that you don't struggle alone.

Thanks in advance for any input.

Katsuri

[Mimi11 2]

Wow thank you for sharing that story, the best of luck to you:)

[smyz64 0]

Thank you for sharing. I'm interested in that book, so will get that, read and then possibly re-post.

I am close to a year out and am only down 18#, and I think those are the pre-op diet pounds I lost. I have really struggled, but would not seek help, as I don't like the way I feel on the anti depressants they prescribe, and they dont' really seem to help.

I feel I need something that is more private, as I tend to skirt the real deep issues in therapy, so maybe a self look book would be the answer.

I hope you find something on your journey that helps you, as I know that is what I'm looking for!

Keep at it, and I'll listen if you just need to talk it out.....sometimes that just helps.

[khath0620 20]

Hi there,

I have been where you are....I am what I would like to call myself "a professional dieter". I have done it all....weight watchers, Jenny Craig, Southbeach, or whatever fad diet there was at the time. I went to extremes...starvation, purging, overexercising...you name it! The problem was that I ALWAYS came back to the food. It medicated me when I had any sort of emotion that I couldn't handle....stress, boredom, sadness, happiness, etc. The food was always there for me and comforted me. I was a closet eater too....drive through windows, eating in my car, etc. I hid wrappers so get rid of the "evidence", I ate off my kids plates, I (embarrassingly enough) ate out of the trash. I was and am powerless over food. I can't stop eating something that is not healthy for me if I start.

In saying that, I became a member of Overeaters Anonymous in June 2009 because I was in a deep depression because my world revolved around my food, my weight, my dress size, etc. I was on TWO antidepressants which only helped marginally. Through the process of being OA, I have found peace and some semblance of control around my food. I am accepting now that I am a compulsive overeater. I am addicted to carbs (flour, sugar) just as an alcoholic is to liquor. I have found out WHY I overeat and how to manage it. OA has given me the coping skills to deal with those emotions that are unsettling and how to handle situations that come up without using my drug of choice.

If any of this rings true for you, you may really like OA. There are meetings you can go to or even phone meetings so you don't have to travel anywhere, just sit in the comfort of your own home and just listen to what others' experiences are. I do not want you to think I am pushing this on you or anyone, it is just I have found so much peace over the last couple of years. I am off my antidepressants, I am calmer, I don't cry anymore......and I can see that I am meaningful and that life is worth living!

Good luck. If I can help at all, let me know.

Thanks,

Katie

[nannyb2005 0]

May God bless all of your hearts for your encouraging stories. I was crying as I read because I am 5 years post op and have only lost 40 pounds out of 150 to reach goal. My experience has been bitter sweet as well. I don't regret having the lap-band, it has saved my life. I had a 10 pound tumor removed from my abdomen, wish I wouldn't hadn't known of, if I I had not lost the weight and as my surgeon said died.

After the surgery of my tumor I did manege to lose a total of 80 pounds, but slowly I gain 40 back. Just to realize that I to am an emotional eater. It kills me to go get adjusted just to feel worse, because the hunger never goes away no matter how restricted I get. Then to come to learn that its all in my head not my stomach. I am going to look for my local OA meetings. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving that suggestion. You all are angles, may God protect and bless you all.

[labandster 0]

I could be your story. Had lapband in March 2006 at 372 lbs. By March 2008 had lost down to 260. But for the next year I did the exact same things, exercised 6 days a week and the scale stayed at 260. The I hurt my knee and was out of the gym for six weeks - started back in the pool. Long story short - The head took over after not losing any weight for 18 months. The "old" hiding food and eating late at night gradually became the norm. Ate around the band and I have now gained back to 298 lbs. I am going to purchase the book you suggested and thanks for posting this. I often feel like the only person in the world that has not been successful with lapband.

[Just Banded 0]

Could you please list some things from the book? I am interested in hearing!

[Craaftee 0]

Hi, I'm 45 and had my banding in Dec of 2005. I 'm going to check out OEA. Thanks for sharing--I started at 270 and I'm currently at 183 and standing still. Not doing well because I have move to another state and no lap band drs. in area. My problem is emotional eatting in the evening. Day time I keep busy at work and never eat anything that I don't want to come back up from over eatting. But i get home and eat everything in sight it seems--then end up losing it. I think it's starting to affect my teeth which bothers me.

I'm looking for encouragement as well as support. I feel like I'm on an island and food is my vice--I'm a comfort eater--I've been doing a lot of soul searching and looking to spiritual inspiration as well. God made each one of us in his image--we are perfect in his eyes (even though at times we don't feel like it in our own). Be encouraged knowing you are special and with confidence and support--you can do anything you set your mind to do! Just don't give up--it's very much a lifestyle change. You took the biggest step by having the surgery--you are important to you, so try to look to the positive! I'd do it all over again--but it's a daily struggle.

Hope to hear from some supporters. Thanks!

[iheartcats 0]

I can totally relate to your story. I have found that after I had the band and wasn't able to eat mindlessly like I used to that I overeat to numb myself from uncomfortable feelings as well. I myself am kind of scared of groups like OA or AA, so I am doing individual therapy and read a little bit from a self help book each day. Between the therapy and the books, I am finding awareness of my actions and the motives behind them. Geneen Roth is one of the most famous writers about compulsive eating/dieting, and I've been steadily working through her books, as well as her work book. I think that getting down to these deeper parts of ourselves and what actually causes us to overeat is the only way to be aware of what we are doing, and then allows us to take the steps to regain control in our lives. All the best to all of you and your journeys!

[kmac06 0]

hi there! i am also an emtional eater, i had my band added on 08/2006 and i have lost 129 pounds and i am keeping it off so far. but i feel the old habits coming back and i hate that feeling! i am hoping there is a OEA around my area because i really need to keep my head straight and not fall back into what is so easy for me to do. i am hoping that by joining this board i can get some help and support and encouragement too. thank you for your stories that you guys have posted - nice to know i am not alone.

[iyoung03 5]

Thanks, for your story. I'm a total emotional eater. Maybe I'll try to find the book you talked about.

[ginny two 0]

I've really struggled with my band. As my surgeon's nurse says, "It's stomach surgery, not brain surgery." I had lost 48 of the 266 lbs. that I originally weighed and was feeling pretty good. I was shocked at how much easier it was to walk across the sand at the beach, walk up stairs, etc. To make a long story shorter, I'm back up to 261 lbs. due to emotional eating. Today my 15 year old daughter did our grocery shopping, because I am in too much pain. My back, knees, hips and head all ache. It's too much for me to be able to shop for my family. I'm right back where I was. My daughter keeps begging me to get my band tightened again. I feel so guilty. I already know that I can totally eat around it if I want to. I feel like I hit a bottom of sorts today, watching my girl shop and carry in all the groceries, then put them all away. I felt so guilty and helpless. Not that I think my daughter shouldn't have to help out, but I don't want it to be because I'm disabled by my own doing.

Maybe we can all help each other. Thanks for sharing and listening!