Should I wait or not?

[sawyer77 1]

I'm trying to figure out if I should wait to get pregnant or not. This is not really a band issue; rather, a general age/pregnancy issue.

I am 33 years old, have had my band for a year, have lost 47 of my 65 pounds of EBW. I weigh 150 today and would love to weigh 132 or less, but I'm really not in a rush.

My dilemma is this. I'm 33, and have not yet had children. I would like to have at least two children, and adoption is not out of the question, but I definitely have the baby rabies.

Things stopping me from getting pregnant NOW: I don't live in the house I'd love to live in. If I got pregnant now, I would have an October 2011 (I'd be 34) due date, and ideally, I'd like an April or May 2012 baby, so I could have the spring and summer home (best for time off of work).

Things that make me want to get pregnant NOW: I'm not getting any younger. I worry about the risks of having a baby when I'm 35 and then I'd want to wait a bit for the second one (for health and financial reasons), so I'd have my second baby when I'm 40.

Please, PLEASE weigh in (pun intended!) -- What are your experiences? I'm looking for some words of advice in either direction, looking for other considerations. I'd be very glad to hear your input.

Thanks!

Jacki

[Jachut 487]

Well....;if all went according to play, waiting till 35 would work out fine. Things change when it comes to pregnancy plans though. I had my third at 35 and it was an easy pregnancy - not an "old" pregnancy at all these days.

I'd say wait until you've lost the weight but that's easy to say, I'm done and dusted babywise. And anyway, weight wise, I managed to control my weight very well during pregnancies and barely gained, it was the changed lifestyle afterwards that did me in and its not going to matter whether you're at goal weight or not on that score, you can either control your weight or fall into the eating for two trap and pile it on no matter how mcuh you weigh when you conceive.

But truly, waiting till your finances are sorted/you're in the right house - THAT's important. Nobody ever can appreciate just how much you can achieve financially before you have children and just how much your money disappears when you do! I thought i'd be a straight back to work career mother, but once I had my first, that ambition evaporated - I stayed home with my kids for 13 years. I couldnt bear to leave them in childcare. So yeah, financial and house plans changed quite a bit for us!

[honk 780]

In regards to being in the right house that's a tricky one. Unless you live in a really bad neighborhood and would be afraid of your safety carry a baby (which would encumber you if you were to be mugged or somthing); or on the 2-3 floor ( and had to carry strollers, misc stuff up the stairs)I don't see the problem having a baby before you were in your dream house. In fact one piece of financial advice I've heard is that you don't need to buy in the neighborhood with an excellent school district the minute you get pregnant. The reasoning being why pay property taxes for schools that you won't be using for 5 years?

[aSpen 0]

I am 34 (almost 35) and just had my first baby she is 5 months old now, honestly if you wait for everything in your life to be perfect in order to have a baby you will never have one!! I had to learn to set things aside and concentrate on what was more important..Also it had taken me over a year to get pregnant (due to fertility problems) so issues like that can defiantly arise. I say go for it, if it is something you want to do and don't worry about the best time to have a baby because when the baby comes your life is turned upside down every which way and things never ever go as planned!! Best of luck

[dragonflylover 0]

Hello,

I have to say, I am some what in the same situation as you. My husband and I decided just last night we are going to go for it! my situation is a little different. we have a 6 yr old right now. It will most definitely be like starting over again for us. We are both very anxious people when it comes to looking forward into the future and what to expect. I realized something lately, I'm 30 now, i don't know if it's a part of me growing up a bit.. i am definitely still in a 20's mind set... but.. I think it's time to live life as an adult. When we got prego with our daughter we were dating just 3 mths, no house, living with parents, lost jobs, really struggled. but in that time we got back on our feet.. bought a house even!!! its not the most ideal area, but it's affordable.. not in immediate danger and I am accepting what we have and how far we really came.. all with a child. and a spoiled one!! So, after years of worrying and waiting for the "right time" we come to realize.. the right time will never happen.. and you always find a way to make it work once put in the situation.. financially we should probably not have a kid at this moment. but.. i can't see our finances changing much in the near future and I am getting older..more risks. so my theory is, we work as a team and make it happen..whatever it takes.

good luck with your decision... I am hoping to be prego within a few weeks!! ohh and I am def.. NOT at my ideal weight either.. I will do my best to continue to eat better while prego.

-Delia

[Heather_8.1.14 65]

I wish I could be of some help, but I am planning to be done having kids by the time I'm 30 (I have an 8yr old, a 2yr old, and Im currently pregnant again)

I agree with one of the the other posters, is your home a place you wouldnt feel safe raising a child or would you ideally just like more room and or other luxeries that would suit a child more (backyard, own room, etc).

As for the age thing, modern medicine has come such a long way and I would be certain you could have a very happy and healthy pregnancy at 34,35,36, etc...

Good luck to you!!!

[HeatherO 7]

I had a band baby at 33. Our financial status was stable, our lives were good. We wanted to wait until the perfect time when all of our goals were met . . . but I realized the clock was ticking, I had already lost the weight and was at the border BMI between normal and overweight.

Sometimes you just have to do it and everything will fall into place on its own. There is no perfect time. If your life is relatively stable, you and your partner are ready to make the commitment, and you have the love to give than now could be a great time.

I have one thing to mention about being banded. My OB said I should prepare to give myself 6 months or so to get pregnant and to not expect it to happen to quickly with our age. It took two weeks after going off the pill. Losing weight seemed to make me ultra fertile and I never expected it to happen so quick. It may not be the same for everyone, but I read plenty of posts regarding people who become almost instantly pregnant after losing a lot of weight when they struggled to become pregnant in the past.

Now I am 35, have been on the pill for 15-20 years and had only had the one pregnancy where I went off the pill for two weeks. I had to go have a surgical procedure done at the hospital to remove cancerous cells from my cervix, was prepped for surgery, they had me take a pregnancy test which is required for all women under age 52. I failed the test (or is it consider to be passed, lol). No antibiotics, taking the pills regularly for many years at the same time, normal BMI at 136 pounds at 5 '3, don't drink or smoke, advanced maternal age, and there was noooo way I should have been pregnant. Yet it had happened. I thought the pill being 99% effective was just about the same as 100% if you take it correctly. I guess that is only if you don't happen to fall into the 1% of people who get pregnant.