My journeys hust starting - being banded on Feb 3rd :)

[FatGirlSlim2011 0]

Hi all, I'm Nicky, 34 yrs and a newbie here, Ive been battling with my weight since i was about 15, going on for 20 years now, long enough to say 'enough is enough' and make the decision that something needs to change and the old familiar cyle of dieting then gaining (plus more) has to be broken for once and for all, this time I HAVE TO suceed, i'm running out of options - and time....you see I woud love to be a mum. 'But you're only 34, you have plenty of time!' I am told this all the time, and I do understand that it is possible to have babies later in life now, but I also know that the risks are higher and best avoided if possible.

'So just go for it - get pregnant' - i've heard that one too, but thats just not me. dont get me wrong, I have considered it, but I really want a shot at doing it the right way: with a man that I'm in a proper relationship with. Now THATS the hard bit!!! I have had relationships, but nothing lasting or serious. I have never lived with a man, or lasted much over a year in a relationship - I was always oblivious to the reasons why all my relationships had failed but after having some councelling and hypnotherapy it turns out I have some serious self esteem issues - mostly due to my size and the feeling of worthlessness I get when I look in the mirror and see what I have done to my body. Its so true what they say - before anyone else will love you, you have to love yourself. At this point in time, I dont love myself. I just feel like i,ve let myself down. badly

The thing about me is that I have plenty of confidence (altough this has started to be affected by my weight too.....), have a great job, lovely family, fantastic friends and have had no major life issues to contend with. It seems that I overeat because I dont feel that I deserve to be thin, that I dont deserve to be loved, that i'm not worth taking care of. Where these negative thoughts have come from I have no idea! and these are the thoughts that I have to change, with a little help from my new band

Of course I know I have to change my relationship with food completely and thats going to be hard. Food has been my constant companion through all the breakups, disasterous dinner dates (even if the company was bad the steak was good!!), saturday nights in alone..... somehow the thing that has always made me feel better has just made my problems worse. If this was a relationsip with a man it would not be a healthy one, it would be an abusive one. Its becomming clear what I need to do - I have to 'break up' with food. ( i read that on someone elses blog but its agreat idea, one I can really relate to!)

So this is the start of my journey to loose weight, get healthy and motivated and learn to love myself. No men, no dates for A WHOLE YEAR. Thats my plan - spend 2011 fixing me, improving my self esteem and sense of self worth and hopefully, when the work is done, I will be able to hold my head high, take a deep breath, step out into the crazy world and find that somebody who will love me too.

First step: GET BANDED!!!!!!! my op is booked for Feb 3rd 2011 and I CANT WAIT!!!! I have read so many inspirational blogs about how the band changes lives (thank you to everyone who has taken the time to write one). I am soooo ready for change. BRING IT ON!!!! hopefully I can become one of these inspirational stories xx

If you have read anything here that sounds familiar, are going through the same emotions or process, I would love to hear from you. I have never met anyone who has a band in real life - though I am sure you exist I would love to have someone to share this with who understands what I am going through - the excitement, trepidation and lets face it - fear!! and in return I can promise to always be a supportive shoulder, so please get in touch!

xxnic

[A New Journey 0]

Hi Nicky , my name is Michelle .... I understand alot of what you are saying . I get my band on April 21st 2011. I'm doing my 6 month diet right now is my ins will pay for surgery. My surgery date can't come fast enough I'm so excited. I weigh 280 right now. Before I got pregnet with my first child I was 105 pounds and thought I was fat little did I know. I was 17 years old at the time. My first child will be 19 in march and my youngest is 5. And after 2 sections and 4 kids well here I am 280 pounds. I've been married 2 times and both ended bad alot to do with my self esteem . I'm in a relationship now of 3 years and my self esteem has gone to crap because the 60 pounds I had lost before I met him I've gained back and I look like a fat cow..... I have let myself down for the very last time. I'm going to get my band and kick ass and get this weight off. If all these other people can do it so can I .... Let's keep in touch and support each other... Talk to u soon .. Michelle

[happygirl65 5]

Hi Nicky!

I would like to say GOOD FOR YOU! Taking control of your life and improving yourself is a great place to start discovering what you really want out of life.

I think in many ways it may be easier to go through this journey as a single woman without children. You wont have to mold your life to fit anyone else, you can keep the junk out of the house, you can exercise on your terms....eliminates a lot of the excuses that people (like myself) let get in the way.

I am a 35 yr old mother of 3 and let me tell you, even on the BEST day...it is hard to think of myself first and then their needs. Children are a wonderful blessing, but they will be even MORE of a blessing to you when you know what you want and expect out of life and once you LOVE yourself. Maturity also will help with the patience needed to raise kids. The main thing is, go through this whole thing learning to love yourself, treat yourself with the respect you give to everyone else and learn how to make YOU the number one priority in your life. Then you will be ready for ANYTHING life has to offer you...and then some.

[ravendays 2]

Hello! I'm being banded on the 30th, 8 days. Im so excited, scared, terrified, overjoyed, and all that other stuff. I'm a mother of two girlies and I'm 28 yrs old. I was pregnant 3 years in a row from the time I turned 19 with only 2 months between pregnancies to recover. Frist pregnancy I was 19 so of course I figured my body would just bounce back (and from what I had heard with a nice set of boobs which 6 years after the last child...these ladies are not looking happy). Two months after my daughter was born I found out I was expecting another child. And then two months after the loss of my son I found we were expecting our 3rd and last child. So...needless to say I lost track of myself somewhere before I even knew who I was as an adult female. I am married but thanks to my physical baggage we seem to hit some rough times...because you are right about needing to love yourself. With love is respect and I dont respect this body. I realized about 3 weeks ago when I had a wild hair to step on the scale before thinking about my days off coming up and if the gym was something I wanted to tackle again after gaining back the weight I had previously lost....I was snapping at anyone who looked at me that day about nonsense, I wasnt laughing with my daughters or spending time with my husband (I work full time and lately it can be from 48-80 hrs a week so family time should mean a lot to me)....I got on the scale and saw I gained all the weight I spent 6 months working off back....I felt like all that work was for nothing, all those days in the gym for nothing. I looked in the bathroom mirror and realized I dont know who was staring back at me. Then it hit me hard...I dont have low self esteem, have No self esteem. I wanted to mentally hear "The Eye of The Tiger" song and go run and put on my gym clothing and run out the door straight to the gym and find myself just like I did time and time before (never lost more then 20 lbs before but i always saw hope)...not this time....nope no motivation. I wanted to cry to my husband and say "Help Me"...but there was nothing he could do. I was becoming the angry fat girl who hated herself and I didnt like my outside and my inside was rotting out. I went to the living room and called my co-worker who had the lapband done who referred me to her surgeon.

My journey begins. I know the emotional termoil you are feeling. I know the loneliness you are feeling. I also understand how excited you are right now and how hopeful you must be. I'm glad you are taking control of your own life, and hopefully if you arent already you will soon be singing the Eye of the Tiger song

[irishangel 0]

Hi all, I'm Nicky, 34 yrs and a newbie here, Ive been battling with my weight since i was about 15, going on for 20 years now, long enough to say 'enough is enough' and make the decision that something needs to change and the old familiar cyle of dieting then gaining (plus more) has to be broken for once and for all, this time I HAVE TO suceed, i'm running out of options - and time....you see I woud love to be a mum. 'But you're only 34, you have plenty of time!' I am told this all the time, and I do understand that it is possible to have babies later in life now, but I also know that the risks are higher and best avoided if possible.

'So just go for it - get pregnant' - i've heard that one too, but thats just not me. dont get me wrong, I have considered it, but I really want a shot at doing it the right way: with a man that I'm in a proper relationship with. Now THATS the hard bit!!! I have had relationships, but nothing lasting or serious. I have never lived with a man, or lasted much over a year in a relationship - I was always oblivious to the reasons why all my relationships had failed but after having some councelling and hypnotherapy it turns out I have some serious self esteem issues - mostly due to my size and the feeling of worthlessness I get when I look in the mirror and see what I have done to my body. Its so true what they say - before anyone else will love you, you have to love yourself. At this point in time, I dont love myself. I just feel like i,ve let myself down. badly

The thing about me is that I have plenty of confidence (altough this has started to be affected by my weight too.....), have a great job, lovely family, fantastic friends and have had no major life issues to contend with. It seems that I overeat because I dont feel that I deserve to be thin, that I dont deserve to be loved, that i'm not worth taking care of. Where these negative thoughts have come from I have no idea! and these are the thoughts that I have to change, with a little help from my new band

Of course I know I have to change my relationship with food completely and thats going to be hard. food has been my constant companion through all the breakups, disasterous dinner dates (even if the company was bad the steak was good!!), saturday nights in alone..... somehow the thing that has always made me feel better has just made my problems worse. If this was a relationsip with a man it would not be a healthy one, it would be an abusive one. Its becomming clear what I need to do - I have to 'break up' with food. ( i read that on someone elses blog but its agreat idea, one I can really relate to!)

So this is the start of my journey to loose weight, get healthy and motivated and learn to love myself. No men, no dates for A WHOLE YEAR. Thats my plan - spend 2011 fixing me, improving my self esteem and sense of self worth and hopefully, when the work is done, I will be able to hold my head high, take a deep breath, step out into the crazy world and find that somebody who will love me too.

First step: GET BANDED!!!!!!! my op is booked for Feb 3rd 2011 and I CANT WAIT!!!! I have read so many inspirational blogs about how the band changes lives (thank you to everyone who has taken the time to write one). I am soooo ready for change. BRING IT ON!!!! hopefully I can become one of these inspirational stories xx

If you have read anything here that sounds familiar, are going through the same emotions or process, I would love to hear from you. I have never met anyone who has a band in real life - though I am sure you exist I would love to have someone to share this with who understands what I am going through - the excitement, trepidation and lets face it - fear!! and in return I can promise to always be a supportive shoulder, so please get in touch!

xxnic

Hi Nicky,,, My name is Eileen. I just loved to read your message. You are so cute and funny!!! I was banded on 12/30/10. I have lost 50 lbs since september when I started with my

lapband physicians. I can say that I under stand your pain and the low self esteem, I dont think I had any for a long time. Im 53 yrs old and have two children a son 26 and a daughter 20.

I am a single mom. My husband past away in 2006. My relationship was good and bad and I know I spent all my time with food instead of the people in my life. I am not going to have a pity party and go over and over in my mind what I should've, could've done differently. I started this journey at 384 lbs and am now 334 lbs and I can tell you I feel like a "hundred bucks" My self esteem is climbing up in the right direction, instead of it being down around my ankles it is now up above my knees. lol. I feel good. I havent had my first fill yet so. so far I am able to tolerate my food plan. I started a full week of liquids and am know in the mushie stage and its not bad. I go to my doctor on monday the 24th and will probable progress to soft foods.

Having the lapband has been a positive expeirience for me and I am so glad I did it. I do have to be aware of the foods Im eating and make sure I am making smart choices. But some how I know deep down that I am going to succeed this time.. Good luck to you nicky and I'll be talking to you soon. Eileen.

[allready4this 0]

Hello! I'm being banded on the 30th, 8 days. Im so excited, scared, terrified, overjoyed, and all that other stuff. I'm a mother of two girlies and I'm 28 yrs old. I was pregnant 3 years in a row from the time I turned 19 with only 2 months between pregnancies to recover. Frist pregnancy I was 19 so of course I figured my body would just bounce back (and from what I had heard with a nice set of boobs which 6 years after the last child...these ladies are not looking happy). Two months after my daughter was born I found out I was expecting another child. And then two months after the loss of my son I found we were expecting our 3rd and last child. So...needless to say I lost track of myself somewhere before I even knew who I was as an adult female. I am married but thanks to my physical baggage we seem to hit some rough times...because you are right about needing to love yourself. With love is respect and I dont respect this body. I realized about 3 weeks ago when I had a wild hair to step on the scale before thinking about my days off coming up and if the gym was something I wanted to tackle again after gaining back the weight I had previously lost....I was snapping at anyone who looked at me that day about nonsense, I wasnt laughing with my daughters or spending time with my husband (I work full time and lately it can be from 48-80 hrs a week so family time should mean a lot to me)....I got on the scale and saw I gained all the weight I spent 6 months working off back....I felt like all that work was for nothing, all those days in the gym for nothing. I looked in the bathroom mirror and realized I dont know who was staring back at me. Then it hit me hard...I dont have low self esteem, have No self esteem. I wanted to mentally hear "The Eye of The Tiger" song and go run and put on my gym clothing and run out the door straight to the gym and find myself just like I did time and time before (never lost more then 20 lbs before but i always saw hope)...not this time....nope no motivation. I wanted to cry to my husband and say "Help Me"...but there was nothing he could do. I was becoming the angry fat girl who hated herself and I didnt like my outside and my inside was rotting out. I went to the living room and called my co-worker who had the lapband done who referred me to her surgeon.

My journey begins. I know the emotional termoil you are feeling. I know the loneliness you are feeling. I also understand how excited you are right now and how hopeful you must be. I'm glad you are taking control of your own life, and hopefully if you arent already you will soon be singing the Eye of the Tiger song

Please keep me posted on how this goes for you. I can so relate to your situation. I get banded on 2/07/11.

[Alikitty 2]

Hi Nicky I can so relate to your post. I would love to follow you on your journey which I am sure will be great. I believe this is the year and Feb the month for change lol... I am scheduled for Feb 14th and so ready for that day. I have also had weight issues since I was a child and had trouble conceiveing due to my weight but achieved to have 2 beautiful babies which are 7yrs apart due to health problems. I so want to keep in touch. Best of luck on your journey.

[Korilynn 1]

Hi Nicky! I'm 28 and I'm being banded on Feb 5th! Good luck! Keep us all updated!

[Nenny 0]

Hi Nicky! Getting banded on 2/10. I am 30 and I can so relate to the "you have time" comments. My BMI is 62 and I just want to have energy again!

Let me know if you want to chat!

[KristinaAshley 5]

Congratulations for taking the plunge into healthy living! I'm jealous that you will be banded so soon!

[suzahhn 19]

That sounds like an awesome year! I am being banded 1/31/11 I am focusing on self improvement as well and my step 1 is the band too! Thanks for sharing, it was fun to read.

[mj0904 0]

Hi Everyone Im scheduled to have my surgery 2/11. Like alot of you Im a little scared of the surgery and more so what it will be like afterwords. I have known a couple of people who has had the lap band and have done very well with it. So Im hopeful Just want to hurry up and get it over with.