Are you open about being banded or

[NeedangerMGMT 0]

This is the post Ive been looking for thanks. I havn't been banded yet but I don't plan on telling alot of people, especially co workers. I work in a call center and we all know how that goes. Anyway so far Ive told just my immediately family(mother brother and aunt and 3 close friends) 2 out of the 6 think its a good ideal my auntie had no comment and the other 2 are completely against it. Going forward I will tell no one else which is really had because its something I want to openly talk about, but now that I 've this forum I can talk to you guys . In the meantime If I'm banded I guess I have to make up some lie. I've already joined a gym and last week started eating better so some people will already see my efforts.

[mom2amwt 3]

needanger - Best of luck to you as you explore banding! I am not that experienced with it yet...I am only 5 days in. I've have been thinking about who I was going to tell for a long time.

It was really easy for me before the surgery not to tell people. Once I had it - I really was so excited I wanted to tell my friends - some of which I talk to almost every day. I'm glad I kept myself in check and kept it private. As I read posts on this board (which I find hugely helpful), I realize that people may discount your weight loss or think negatively of you. The band is hard work and I definitely don't want to have to constantly explain it to people. Also my neighborhood is a big network of women - and I can just imagine how the phone would be ringing to discuss my "WLS".

The other school of thought is a good one - if you can't tell them - they are not your real friends. I guess that it true too - these are my "social" friends that I have a laugh with - but wouldn't trust them with secrets that could hurt me....

I did tell my husband (very supportive), dad, sister and brother. They are all fantastic and non-judgmental! They just want me to be happy. I told one friend - my best friend from college, but she did not have a very warm response. So the reality is - I just don't want to talk to her about it. I'm not angry, but I am not going to give her the details etc so she can judge me. Her and her husband each lost 40lbs on Weight Watchers - so she just doesn't see the "need" for this dangerous surgery . Oh well - I doubt I will make her understand.

[momtofourredheads 1]

A good friend of mine had lap band surgery two years ago, and I have to admit, besides being terribly envious that she was going to get skinny and I was still fat (we have both been the same size since university), I secretly thought that she was talking the easy way out. She was very open over the course of the next year and told me everything along her journey. I soon realized there was nothing 'easy' about what she was going through....but here we are two years later and she's kept 100lbs off for a full year now and I weigh another 20lbs more!!! So, needless to say, my time has come...but I have a much healthier respect for the work involved now that I've watched her journey.

The one thing she said to me, that I will never forget and keep telling myself almost daily:

"Getting lap band is like breaking up with the boyfriend you've had all your life!"

[mom2amwt 3]

I love that saying! I do believe that the lap band is a "break up" with food. It was very upsetting for me during the pre-op diet to realize how much of my life was centered around food - not just the social stuff - but also my personal enjoyment. It is going to take a huge adjustment for me to get over that boyfriend .

[Leesalu 0]

I also pretty much told everyone... including anyone who reads my Facebook updates... The way I look at it is this... I need all the support I can get on this journey. It's easier to let it all out now than to have to explain everytime I am asked how did I lose so much weight. That being said, I think my diabetes has a lot to do with my openness... While I have of course come across people who have said, "You don't need that" "Just eat less, exercise more" "You don't look like you need to lose that much weight" (I'm blessedly well proportioned, and people often don't believe I weighed over 240)... It's easy to respond to these statements confidently when I can respond that, "if it were just my weight, I'd be okay like this. But I have not been able to get my diabetes under control, and have not been able to lose the weight on my own that would lower my blood sugar. This is my best option." Any risks of having the surgery and living banded are far less than the risks that 'will' come if I cannot keep my diabetes under control... hope this helps...

Lisa

[Pamalamadingdong 0]

All my coworkers know, mostly because 2 of my coworkers had this done and they were the ones that helped me make the choice to do it. 2 of my friends know, and it has cost me the friendship of one of them, she's being a nasty bitch and I just don't want to talk to her until she pulls her head out of her self absorbed back side and realizes that I'm done being miserable even with her along for the ride. Sorry for the rant... My family knows but the rest of my friends do not, after the crap I've gone through with one of them I don't want the rest of them to know right now.

[blissa033 0]

I've told selective family and friends. These people HAVE to be considered trustworthy in my eyes. It's not that I'm ashamed by my decision. I'm actually really happy about it. It's more that I'm still adjusting to a new lifestyle and I need support from people I trust; not judgments from people who may view the surgery as an "easy way out."

It was slightly difficult going back to work having lost 20 pounds during the first two weeks post-op. I'm a teacher and my students definitely noticed. I just replied "Oh yeah, I've been watching what I eat and it's finally starting to show!" No one really questioned me too much after I said that.

Ultimately, you need to do whatever you feel comfortable with. It's definitely important to have a good support system, in my opinion. Therefore, letting people you are close to in your life who will support you is a positive thing.

[jboo518 1]

I came right out and told pretty much everyone in my life. Including Facebook lol. I work in a mill which is like being in high school, (if you know what I mean) and thought it was better to just talk about it so that those nosey busy bods realize that I'm not hiding anything or ashaimed of it. plus for the people that are sceptical about it, it gives me a chance to explain it to them and sometimes they realize that they were wrong about alot. Plus people see that it's not taking the easy way out, that it's still alot of work to lose weight with the band!

[Jachut 487]

Completely open. Firstly, I couldnt possibly have surgery without my family realising it, even if I wanted to. Secondly, your eating changes dramatically, and there ARE times when you get stuck, and if your'e at the dinner table and sliming its hard to hide, not the least becuase my voice goes all weird and you can hear that there's saliva in my throat!

But mainly, I told everyone else becuase I remember how I felt on one of those rare occasions when you ran into someone you knew who'd lost a lot of weight and looked fantastic. I felt sooooo down on myself, what was wrong with me? Why couldnt I do that? I would absolutely hate for anyone to think that I'm some sort of superhuman dynamo who has more willpower and drive than anyone else, that I could lose 52kg on my own. Truth is, I'm realising I actually AM a very strong and driven person and I've not given myself the credit I deserve, my band being unfilled now I've come to realise that it was actually ME doing 80% of the hard work, not my band. But the point is, I feel bound to let people know that there is help out there, that I had help and that I'm not all together and in control whilst they're hopeless, lacking willpower and discipline.

I dont feel like walking up to other fat people and sharing my experiences uninvited, but I dont hide that I'm banded. I also found when I started work again this year that I copped heaps of ribbing over my small meals, my slow eating, people do notice it. So I told the truth.

That's not to say I dont hide some things. DH bought me a stunning lab diamond, must be 2.5 carats, I absolutely dont mind people thinking that I'm wearing a $25,000 ring, loll!

[CJZ 1]

I have been very open about my journey. Honestly, everyone I have mentioned it to has be supportive (to my face that is). I'm hoping to be an inspiration for others and have had several people ask me about the process. I honestly dont care if people think I've "cheated". I'm healthier than I have ever been. In fact, I just had blood work done; the first since my pre-op appt. My cholesterol dropped from 239 to 126!! That only made me realize that my health is far more important than peoples feelings and comments. I understand some are hesitant to share and I understand their reasons, but consider this. You should be proud that you have taken control of your health! That control will, in the end, make you a much happier person. Good luck on your journey!

[GavynsMum 1]

I didn't have to tell anyone because I work at the hospital my surgeon uses. I told everyone anyway. I am not ashamed. It isn't magic...it is hard work. Plus, I feel that with everyone knowing it helps hold me accountable.

It is like breaking up with a boyfriend!

[AlienBandit 10]

When I first got banded I kept my mouth shut. I told my co teacher in case of an emergency and that was it. I didn't have any support except from my doctor and some of his nurses. I live far from my family and didn't want to stress them out. I knew my friends here wouldn't understand so I decided to do all this alone.

Since I was self pay I didnt even see a shrink or anyone to talk to about the foods to eat etc. My doctor helped a lot with any of my questions but it was still sometimes a challenge. He encouraged me to talk with other patients and then I began my blog ( to help myself and anyone else interested in being banded in Korea) and people started asking me things about my doc and having surgery in Korea etc.

Since then my blog has blown up and I have no problem talking to patients of my doc's or banded people but I still havent told anyone else really about my band. Finally 8 months after being banded I cracked and told my best friend back home who supported me.

Now that I am doing so much plastics I told my pet sitters so they would understand why I was asking them to watch my pets so often. Other then that I keep my mouth shut. People I find here in Korea are so judgmental about the band (if they are a foreigner). I have told some Koreans and have always gotten lots of encouragement from them. However I havent had the guts to tell my friends or family yet. I will eventually but for now I choose to walk this road alone.

It's not that I am ashamed at all but I know people will think I am nuts for getting the surgery and I don't want anyone to worry about me while I am still losing weight, having plastics etc. It will be easier to tell them once everything is done and I can say "Look I am happy, healthy and alive"

[irishangel 0]

A good friend of mine had lap band surgery two years ago, and I have to admit, besides being terribly envious that she was going to get skinny and I was still fat (we have both been the same size since university), I secretly thought that she was talking the easy way out. She was very open over the course of the next year and told me everything along her journey. I soon realized there was nothing 'easy' about what she was going through....but here we are two years later and she's kept 100lbs off for a full year now and I weigh another 20lbs more!!! So, needless to say, my time has come...but I have a much healthier respect for the work involved now that I've watched her journey.

The one thing she said to me, that I will never forget and keep telling myself almost daily:

"Getting lap band is like breaking up with the boyfriend you've had all your life!"

I love your friends saying. It's so true. food has been my lover and companion for so long...................But I am ready for the break-up lol

[Stephy5 33]

I will be banded this Wednesday. I personally am telling people. My wish is that I get to tell people and that the rumors don't start flying first.

.I don't care if they agree with it or not. But I am asking for peoples support. At this point I have only found one person in my life that isn't being supportive, but truly not my problem. But I figure if they hear it from me the better I may be able to educate people.

I have a few friends who have had this done and have noticed the ones who have told people seem to have a bigger support group and I am someone who really can use that.

I am grateful to a man who was very open with me about his lap and he educated me enough for me to finally make the decision to do this for myself.

Good luck and this is your decision so do what is best for you.

[ElfiePoo 109]

I didn't plan on telling people, nor did I plan on hiding it. However, my husband told his mother who proceeded to tell everyone else in the family, both here and in France.

Talk to people who don't struggle with their weight or who successfully take excess weight off and keep it off and you will (most likely) find they've never struggled with constant, unrelenting 'hunger'. When they eat, they're satisfied until their next meal. Their extra pounds can be attributed to not being active or splurging a bit too much on their favorite food...not out of hunger but just because it tastes good.

I could eat enough for 3 people and 10 minutes after a meal, I'd be physically hungry again. Now, I eat my 3 oz of Protein, 1/2 cup of vegies and 1/4 cup of rice, Beans or potatoes and I'm not hungry for at least 4 hours.

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