Things are going Fast GETTING NErvous

[Msthang 1]

Okay I went to my first appt on Dec 7, they called yesterday 1/13 saying I was approved then 2hours later they called back to schedule my pre op, So now that is scheduled for 1/21 following all is well I will get banded the next Friday she stat ed which would be 1/28 okay I have not had a chance to tell my family Im 36 I dont want them to talk me out of this an Im not sure if im being fair to tell or not to tell, things are going so fast whaat do you think when everyone else around you is skinny or healthy an makes like it is all so easy who needs this type of help how do you deal with them or do you shut them out "including hubby"

[Mimi11 2]

This is for your health and happiness, if they love you they will support you. I think you should be honest, you will need all the support you can get. Good Luck Babe

[MarcyLoo 12]

Well, I'm not banded yet but will giv emy 2 cents. :-)

I've told one person at work, and my husband. That's it. I'll be telling his family probably after surgery, and my family only time will tell. My family is very judgemental, and I don't need the stress from them over this. I just had my psych eval, nutrition, and MD appt yesterday and was really suprised when the psych nurse tol dme it's OKAY to not tell people (in this case my family). Bringing the topic up to DH was so scary for me. He's never known me "light" and we've really never discussed my weight. I was really terrified, but within 30 seconds of bringing it up I KNEW he was the one person I should be talking to. I could not go thru with it, or any surgery, without him at my side. And the support I'll need form him for the rest of my life...well...I think a spouse/partner it's just critical to discuss it with them. If they are not on board after discussing it, please have them go with to an appointment, talk to the doctor, see a counselor who specializes in this.

[Metime 2]

I was nervous about telling my family as well. I had to tell my husband as surgery is not something I felt comfortable keeping from him, no matter how non invasive this surgery is. I was fine not telling anyone else, but my husband was not able to keep the secret, or rather he did not think it was something that needed to be kept secret. I did not get the judgement that I thought I would. They all know me well enough to know I did my research. I think as long as you are confident you are makng the right decision, then no one can talk you out of it. I did get some uncomfortable responses (why would you want surgery? Isn't that a bit extreme? - No not really, just another tool like weight watchers, or slim fast or a diet pill. Just safer and something I feel I can maintain long term) So tell who you are comfortable telling. But be ready for the negativity.

NOTE: My hubby was not for it at all, until I took him to an appoitnment so he could feel comfortable with the process. Now he is comfortable, not happy to have me "under the knife" but will be happier when the surgery part is done. Its the only part he's worried about really.

[forabetterlife 3]

I would definitely tell your husband, you cant hide it from him you are going to need his help when you go for surgery and after surgery. As for the rest of your family I would mention the surgery itself to them and see what they say about it before you tell them that you are going to have it done that way you know what to expect from them. Good Luck!

[tmx000 0]

Okay I went to my first appt on Dec 7, they called yesterday 1/13 saying I was approved then 2hours later they called back to schedule my pre op, So now that is scheduled for 1/21 following all is well I will get banded the next Friday she stat ed which would be 1/28 okay I have not had a chance to tell my family Im 36 I dont want them to talk me out of this an Im not sure if im being fair to tell or not to tell, things are going so fast whaat do you think when everyone else around you is skinny or healthy an makes like it is all so easy who needs this type of help how do you deal with them or do you shut them out "including hubby"

If you cant at least be honest with your husband about this, it is a sad thing....no judgement....just sad. I haven't told my other family members a thing, they know I am going to have surgery, i have just let them believe that it is for my back problems. I just dont want to feel judged by them. My fiance' is very supportive and will be there with me each step along the way, she is my best friend and greatest ally and I wouldn't even try to do this without her. You need to find someone to support you and help you be accountable.

Regards,

[StacyS 2]

OMG, I am so different from all of you!! I've told anyone and everyone! I'm so excited and happy about the surgery that I just cant contain it! My husband just said, "why dont you just diet and excercise?"- AS IF.... Once I said I was done battling with my weight and I was getting it regardless of what anyone thought, he was on board. For me, I have a very strong family background and they're all ok with my decision and are very supportive.

One piece of advice- Never keep something like this from your significant other! This is a HUGE decision and should be a journey as a couple! If you keep something like this from them, trust will be effected. My girlfriend kept it from her husband and it destroyed their marriage!! If you cant tell your spouse, then maybe you need to take a closer look at your relationship!! (just a thought)

Anyway, my point..... it's your decision; it's your life; it's your future! The more people you get on your side, the more you have to support you before, during, and after surgery!

[mattie7632 24]

I understand your reservations. I didn't want to just spring this on my husband out of the blue either, but obvioulsy we have to tell them. I was all worked up about bringing up the conversation, and when I did, it was so uneventful. All he said was "if that's what you want to do I'll support you", end of that.

[LMS383 0]

Okay I went to my first appt on Dec 7, they called yesterday 1/13 saying I was approved then 2hours later they called back to schedule my pre op, So now that is scheduled for 1/21 following all is well I will get banded the next Friday she stat ed which would be 1/28 okay I have not had a chance to tell my family Im 36 I dont want them to talk me out of this an Im not sure if im being fair to tell or not to tell, things are going so fast whaat do you think when everyone else around you is skinny or healthy an makes like it is all so easy who needs this type of help how do you deal with them or do you shut them out "including hubby"

HI,

I had the exact feeling, must be common, they approved me and than was called to schedule and get this done and that done.....I hate that even though u know its what you want, u still need time to think.....about what not sure but its just how u feel. My Husband is very supportive and the only other that knows is my mom....everyone else thinks I am having a gallstone removed.....for same reason, my mind was set and I didn't want to hear peoples comments.....My kids think it is for the stone also, because I just want them to say ...mom you don't need that, or mom why would u want to do that etc........I have about 60 lbs I want to lose.....so as far as everyone else around you, thats why u just make up something simple like a gallstone, funny part I don't have a gallbladder, but I checked and you can still get stones........I will tell people when I am done if I chose to, not sure what I will do about after, maybe nothing.....no one needs to know how u lose it!!!!

[kadoane8 1]

At first I didn't want to tell anyone because I was embarrassed and felt like a failure. Then I realized that it takes a brave person to admit they need help and ask for it. I had a few friends who were like "oh just come work out with me..." blah blah blah, and finally I said to them, "I really just need you to be my friend and support me." That helped a lot.

I knew I would be cranky through this whole process and my husband was supportive from the get go, but he can be pretty whiny and get his feelings hurt easily so I asked him if he was going to be able to handle my being a total b!tch, and he said he could. Well, he didn't even make it through the first day. I had a total meltdown and then he finally realized what I was actually going through. He just didn't understand, and now that he does he is a lot more understanding. And he is not talking about steak anymore (seriously, I could almost smell it!).

Now that I have had it I am pretty open about it, and people ask a lot of questions and that is ok. I am glad I waited to tell people until after, though, because then there is nothing they can talk you out of.

If your husband is not fully on board, rethink it. You don't need the extra stress to worry about. Good luck to you!

[BlairE 1]

I started out like you.... afraid to tell ppl but then I was like..."what am I ashamed of" I am taking charge of my health the best that I know how. You tell them that your doctor brought it up as a possible solution and as you went along you knew this was for you. As far as how fast its going, they don't need the details b/c then they will think you are jumping into this w/out thinking it through. Tell them this has been in the works for a while now but until you knew you had approval you didn't want to say anything. I was nervous about bringing it up to my husband at first b/c I didn't want him looking at me as a failure. He surprised me bc he said he was glad I was willing to do whatever it took to get myself healthy. My mom flipped out and even went to her doctor to get his opinion so she could have the info to talk me out of it. Well that back fired b/c he was completely on board and explained how it was a good thing. Because it came from her own doctor she then accepted it.....Now I don't mind talking about it at all .... some friends I can't talk about it around b/c I think they are resentful that I get this option and they don't but hopefully they will come around after wards. Tell who you are comfortable with telling but don't keep it a secret from everyone....

[mattie7632 24]

Yeah I don't care so much who knows now. I don't go shout it to the world or anything but not ashamed to admit it. There are a few people I know that I don't tell, but that's because I don't like them knowing any of my personal business, not just this.

[Cocoabean 430]

Outside of your husband, you don't need to tell anyone about the surgery. It just isn't their concern.

I don't see how you could hide it from him. Assuming you live together and share a bed. This maybe touted as a less-invasive surgery than bypass, but upon your release from the hospital, you will not be moving like you normally do. Are you planning to do this while he is away or you are on a trip?

You'll have specific pre and post-op diet requirements. You'll have to explain those away somehow. What about as you get fills? If you get stuck on something, that is kind of hard to explain if your husband doesn't know you are banded.

The port can be felt under the skin. That could be scary for someone who doesn't know it is there. Not to mention the fresh scars, although there is the single incision procedure now--if your surgeon does it.

[BASIMAH 9]

Wow! It seemed like a lifetime for me to get scheduled for my band, which will be 1/27/11 (God willing). I initiated the process in October and was approved in the beginning of this month. My biggest fear is my surgery being put of for some unforeseen reason. I have watched so many co-workers and friends loose weight by means of gastric surgery of some sort and they look and feel great. I then began to feel depressed because I felt like the parade was leaving me behind. I was at my peak weight and feeling horrible. I was tired all the time and never wanted to do anything or go anywhere. I hated looking at myself in the mirror. Now I feel like I'm finally making a step to do something good for myself. I'm excited, I'm on day 4 of my liquid pre-op diet.

[Msthang 1]

Okay Im back and I have told my HUSBAND,MOtther and kids an I feel so much better about it im kind of confused thought right now, i go on friday to get the lab work done then they say if all is well the following friday I would get banded when I'm I to start the liquid diets the 24 clear then 24 dark liquids then soft food