First fill - first day in and already not stuck to the liquid diet. help me :(

[Becky3006 0]

Hi all,

I am new to this but have been reading the forum for a while. I was banded on the 29th November and had my first fill yesterday. I am already eating food (not much) but still eating food! I am falling apart! I have always suffered from severe depression and after the operation lost 7 pounds (nothing compared to most people on here) and gained it all over christmas again. The last few weeks I have done nothing but think the band won't work for me my mind will find a way to cheat it and I am petrified. I feel like my life is over because I already can't stick to it. I am not yet in that positive motivated mindset and can't get into to it because I am too down. When I do get focused I am great normally with diets but with all it gains again quickly. I always have been a major yo yo dieter and have gained 5 and a half stone since not last summer the summer before so just under a year and a half!!! i know looking on this forum everyone has problems but i feel in giving up in life in general (crying as i write this sad i know). I know alot of people will read this and think get a grip just get motivated but I can't. I have just moved back to Manchester after a time at home in Portsmouth which I love. I hate it up here it makes things worse, all my friends from university have graduated and left but I want to support my boyfriend but I am so lonely up here and with no job as I am in the process of starting my own business its making things so much worse.

The concept of the band I thought would work but I am scared that this was the last thing left that would make me want to live my life and I have already f****d it up!

I know replies will be you can do it, it takes time, get realistic goals, the first fill never does much but reading other posts it doesn;t give comfort I just feel so much worse at the fact people seem to manage to pull it together!

sorry for whining and being pathetic!!

becky x

[summer134 23]

^Becky,

^{We all need a place to vent and what better place than a forum where a lot of the people here have probably felt the same way that you do in some form or another? You stated the obvious things on how to have a band help you out (take your time, get fills, set goals, etc.) But to be completely honest, a band -- even if it's working great and you're losing weight -- isn't going to help your thoughts of giving up life in general. Those are extremely depressed thoughts and need help to get over them. A diet or a band isn't going to cure those feelings. It's understandably a difficult time moving, not having friends, not having a job and trying to support someone when you're so lonely yourself. But that's when you need to be selfish and think of yourself. Without a job, what better time to work on yourself? I think the best thing you can do for yourself is to first of all set up an appointment with a therapist to start working through some of those negative thoughts. If you are having thoughts of suicide or giving up on life, those are extremely serious things to worry about and you need to get some help. And there's nothing wrong with admitting you need help. Everyone here needed help, which is why we got the band. You need to get those thoughts out of the way first of all, then you can worry about getting on a diet and exercise regimine that will help the way you feel as well. Just take things one step at a time -- with the first step being setting up an appointment to talk to someone. Good luck.}

[rault18 1]

try to see a therapist..your problem is more of an inner type.. talking to one can help a lot.

good luck

[mom2amwt 3]

Definitely, definitely talk to a professional! I have been working with a therapist/psychiatrist for almost a year now - it has really helped me (cognitive behavioral therapy). Also the drugs don't hurt either . Would be happy to share my experience if you are interested. There is a book that my therapist had suggested that was super helpful to start with.

Wish you all the best!