Denial

[emptyNest 4]

I guess I'm in denial, or I have anti-anorexia or something, but I just don't see myself as being as fat as I really am... Is this common? I mean, I can stand on a scale and see what I weigh, and DUH, but when I look in a mirror it doesn't look that bad...

I've told a couple of people that I'm having WLS, and I guess I expected them to say something like 'Gee, why? You don't need to lose that much weight.'. None of them did... I haven't told my DH, and don't plan to until the surgeon sets a date.. Why you ask.. because in my denial mode I'm still afraid the surgeon will say I don't need it... EVEN THOUGH the Insurance company has already approved !

Do I need to see a shrink, or what???

[Amanda1982 142]

I can relate sometimesI feel the same way I look in the morror and say hey I dont look like I weigh 276lbs that is until I see a picture someone else has taken or myself on tv or video. A lot of people I've told did ask me why and said I dont need it. How much do you weigh? What is your BMI? Over the last 5 years has you weight been increasing if so, if this cycle continues what wiil your weight be 5 years from now?

Good Luck

[emptyNest 4]

Yes. When I see myself in a picture I'm definately FAT! No doubt about that. I've got one on the fridge that's hideous. I'm riding my QH mare and I look as big as her! OUCH!

I get tired just walking up one flight of stairs, my knees hurt all the time, and I am definately ready for a change, but when I look in a mirror, I just don't see the fat.

Wierd...

[forabetterlife 3]

I was like that as well I would look in the mirror and be like oh wow I look damn good (and not fat lol) but then I would see pictures and OMG wow FAT!!!!! Now that I have lost alot of weight I look back at those pictures and was like OMG I cant believe I didnt see myself as being that big at the beginning. Good luck you will do great!

[Noturningback15 45]

When I was almost 400lbs I was in denial big time! I looked past all the fat when I looked in the mirror because I just didn't want to see it! When I looked at photos I was humiliated! Now, that I have lost a whole lot of inches and over 80lbs I see that 400lb person when I look in the mirror! Crazy! I just can't get those images from those photos out of my head! Every blue moon I see myself as I actually am but usually it's the bigger me I see.

[Jennifer Hathaway 12]

I was the same way. I saw myself in the mirror as not as fat as I was in pictures. Now 95 pounds gone and at goal I see a fat person. My head is very screwed up.

[Libbyjane1976 1]

We are all in denial about our weight. I was over 300 lbs and I was in denial about the way I looked. I"m glad I pushed forward and got my LB because now I am so much healther and have 55 lbs to get to my goal weight. You will look back at old pics and be like I can't believe I let myself get that big.

[MountainMama 5]

In the same boat with you all. I can remember one time, at my heaviest weight of 325, walking past a bus shelter and seeing my reflection. I had taken extra time to get ready that day and actually said, "man I look good today!" My mom who was with me at time looked at me and said, "I am a good mom because I have given you GREAT self esteem."

Looking back, I really did think I looked good because I wasnt seeing myself for what I was looking like to everyone else. Lord knows there are very few pictures of me at my highest weight because I "knew" what I really looked like and didnt want pics to be around for all time showing people that. Yet, in my ever head I convinced myself that it wasnt what it really was, to protect myself emotionally.

So glad to be where I am today!

[nurseAMY11 0]

I'm glad you posted this, I felt exactly the same way! I always thought I "carried my weight well" or was "well-proportioned" until I saw a picture of myslef. Even then I would tell myslef it was just a bad angle! lol I don't know, i guess it was better then feeling really bad about myself all the time. Now when I see old pictures I'm amazed that I didn't see it for what it was. What's even weirder is now that I've lost 60 pounds I'm more critical of myself than I ever was before! I think I'm just more aware of my body now and I'm definitely grateful that I chose to be healthier!

Oh the mind games we play with ourselves....

[annalise 0]

I have the opposite issue. I always knew how horrible I looked before surgery. I've lost 50/55lbs and have about 75 to 100 to go to goal. Now I forget I still have so much more to go. At home I know but when I'm dressed in suits and such for work, I am surprised to see myself in the mirror and not be looking as trim as I feel. In my mind's eye I'm much trimmer than I am. I suppose it has to do with the fact my legs look nice and I have actual ankles. I forget about the tummy pooch, big butt, and second set up boobs on my chest.