Can't See The Good, for The BAD

[MyKdsDad 1]

We were sitting at the computer this morning, 4 days post-op for MsJoy (my DW), when I decided to show her the Bandster Rules that were posted here. I had her go to LBT.com and log in. Then go to one of the forums. We found the rules and we copied them to MS Word and printed them out. Since we were logged in, I had her hit "New Posts", up there in the top blue bar. All of the recent posts came up and she freaked out on me. She started crying and acted disoriented. I thought something was really wrong, like she was hurt or something.

As she calmed down, she told me that she was having a hard enough time fighting her own battles without looking at the screen and seeing all the doom and gloom from other people. The port problems...the erosion posts...the band removals...bad breath...infection...

She said that there is a lot of good information here, but that for the time being, I would have to be her eyes and just tell her of the GOOD things that I see.

["with the band" 1]

So sorry she felt that way. To be honest - there are alot more good stories for her to read than what has been going on here lately.

Tell her to look through the posts of before and after pics and realize that many many people are not posting because they are healed, happy and moving on with their lives now that they are free from the overweight issues that have plaqued them.

I have more positives than negatives and I am sure many have also.

take care - nancy

[Alexandra 55]

Oohh, poor girl. That must have been traumatic indeed. Please tell Ms. Joy that like all support boards the negative aspects get much more airing than the positive ones. How many times can we come on to say I'm fine,things are great, I'm not eating more than I need? What is there really to talk about, except when things go a little awry.

Wish her well for us, and let her know there are lots of peaceful, happy bandsters living day by day with no ongoing problems.

[MsButterKup23 1]

I hope she gets to feeling better soon. I know the first week or two can certainly be difficult.

I am a happy bandster if that's any help.

[MyKdsDad 1]

Nancy, Alex, Carrie....thank you, ladies. I figure it is just anxiety over her changing relationship with food. Like others, she's tried a lot and failed to lose and keep it off. She just so desperately wants this to work and to "hear" about all the bad is just too much, I guess. But I will pass all your good wishes along to her. And thanks again.

[MyKdsDad 1]

I sure will Jack and thank you for the support. I guess it all just takes time.

[mousecrazy 2]

Hang in there, guys! I agree with Jack; she'll be pulling out of the gloomies in a day or two. Why don't you do her a favor, and get a journal, and write down things she tells you are plusses...like when she notices that she is not obsessed with food all the time, or she sees the hope that she can beat the food demon, finally! Write it down for her; she'll love you for it! Thanks for being her eyes! Cindy

[MyKdsDad 1]

Now, Cindy, that's a great idea. She's already commenting about the fact that she actually has ankles again. I'll do it! Thanks.

[cmr 0]

When I got banded in Nov. I had made the decision to go it alone. The only person that I told was my daughter. I even left the country to do it. The whole way to Mexico I thought that I must be crazy. If it wasn't for this website I would have been lost. I visit at least once a day and always walk away feeling better than I did when I started. I hope that she can eventually learn to feel as good about this place as I do. This is the only place that I know that I am not alone and that is a huge comfort to me.

Thanks to all!

["with the band" 1]

cmr - I agree - I also come here once (or twice) a day and feel a great comfort knowing that I can reach out if I want to - if I have a question or a concern I can put it out there.....

The site gives me great comfort when there is no one else around who can understand the crazy questions and things that might come up in my mind through out the day regarding "my band".