Dating, Social Life, Work, etc.

[EliseG 0]

Hi everyone! I'm new to the forum I'm still in the verrry early stages of this journey. My initial consultation is on Saturday! Yay!

I guess my biggest questions are regarding the social impact on your life. I'm a single 27-year-old female and I work in an industry where attending parties and lunches is mandatory for networking and your appearance does make a difference in how successful you are. I love going out and socializing, so I'm a little worried about how the band will affect my ability to fully enjoy that aspect of life. What happens when new people you meet notice your eating/drinking restrictions? Do you feel left out when you can't indulge? What about dating? I 'm not at all worried about ending my love affair with food, but I'm a little worried about being the weird girl who only ate five bites of her meal and didn't drink anything. I also LOVE to cook for friends. How has that changed for you? How about social drinking? Does it ever feel awkward being the only one who can't have a glass of champagne on New Year's Eve? Any insight is appreciated!

[maryrose 2]

Hi everyone! I'm new to the forum I'm still in the verrry early stages of this journey. My initial consultation is on Saturday! Yay!

I guess my biggest questions are regarding the social impact on your life. I'm a single 27-year-old female and I work in an industry where attending parties and lunches is mandatory for networking and your appearance does make a difference in how successful you are. I love going out and socializing, so I'm a little worried about how the band will affect my ability to fully enjoy that aspect of life. What happens when new people you meet notice your eating/drinking restrictions? Do you feel left out when you can't indulge? What about dating? I 'm not at all worried about ending my love affair with food, but I'm a little worried about being the weird girl who only ate five bites of her meal and didn't drink anything. I also LOVE to cook for friends. How has that changed for you? How about social drinking? Does it ever feel awkward being the only one who can't have a glass of champagne on New Year's Eve? Any insight is appreciated!

[maryrose 2]

Hi Elise,

You have asked some very good questions! I'll be honest, it will take time for you to figure this all out! I hope you get some good responses!

As far as parties go, people don't really notice what you are eating. I actually find I enjoy my food more now. I'll just have a little taste of everything.

The one on one restaurant thing can be a little tricky, but there is usually something on the menu I can have. If you are looking to eat "healthy" while out dining, which I know we all should, I look toward the Soups and anything crunchy. I have to admit the things I pick out usually are not healthy, but I don't go out to dinner very much.

We are all different and toleratae foods differently.

I find people are very understanding and have not had any issues. I do find my friends actually feed "bad" for me having to leave so much food. I often do not take a doggy bag, as the food is just NOT the same warmed over, but that is a personal thing.

As far as alcohol, I have had the occasional drink, but not to excess. I will have an occasional glass of wine mixed with club soda, fruit juice, etc. I know this is shunned on, but a few times a year has not hurt me.

Good luck! I cant' wait to see the responses to this great question!

[AlienBandit 10]

At partyings and gatherings it can be easy to mingle and not bring attention to your self. If you move around and chat with lots of people they won't notice your not eating if your only spending a short time with them.

As for drinking, wine is ok to sip with meals. As for bubbly drinks you can sometimes have some it depends on your band. I wait for the bubbles to disappear a bit and then slowly sip. You can still appear normal without having to shout I HAVE A BAND!

As for dating if you don't want to spill the Beans right away then try to stick to dates that don't involve so much food or cook something that you can have. No one knows about my band and I have gone on dates and cook for friends all the time. It is only when I am overfilled that people wonder whats wrong with me. It is easy to get away with not eating a lot if you are the hostess because you can come up with excuses to have to get up and do things ( thus eating slowly and not a lot). I just pulled off Christmas with a group of friends with ease

[joegar84 0]

Elise I am 26yrs old and prior to my surgery I would go out to clubs often, 2 of my friends are club promoters so I go with them to help them out and also being with them you meet alot of people so those are our possible new customers when we open new night clubs. These guys know I have had the procedure done and they are very supportive of my decision of my new life so now when I go out to the clubs I walk around meeting new possible customers yeah i'll have a drink in my hand.... but its a non-alcoholic but hey the other person doesn't know that i'll ask the bartender for Water over ice with a wedge of lime or orange or a cherry or pinneaple so it looks like th real deal.

Now that I have lost 40plus pounds girls are more easily approachable and honestly I have gotten more customers/possible customers for my guys.

Dating its gotten easier.. I have no idea why im still my self

Going out to dinner... its easy depending on the restaurants but many restaurants will help you out with just small sides. Like last night I went to the movies and went to dennys after I had 1 scrambled egg with a small side of mashed potatoes with a side of salsa...

Everything is possible you just need to use your imagination a little, that's what I do.

[Libbyjane1976 1]

Yes people notice your eating restrictions. Not so much the drinking but definitely the eating but eventually you get over it. I had a date Friday night and it was our 1st date and I told him right from the get go don't mind me but i'm only gonna eat so much of this meal and it's because of my lapband not because i'm being a "first date picky eater". lol. We had a chuckle and had a good time.

Other times I watch the waiters/waitresses in amusement when they see how much I eat and trip over themselves to make sure everything was okay with the food. Be proud of your band don't be ashamed of it!!!!!

Hi everyone! I'm new to the forum I'm still in the verrry early stages of this journey. My initial consultation is on Saturday! Yay!

I guess my biggest questions are regarding the social impact on your life. I'm a single 27-year-old female and I work in an industry where attending parties and lunches is mandatory for networking and your appearance does make a difference in how successful you are. I love going out and socializing, so I'm a little worried about how the band will affect my ability to fully enjoy that aspect of life. What happens when new people you meet notice your eating/drinking restrictions? Do you feel left out when you can't indulge? What about dating? I 'm not at all worried about ending my love affair with food, but I'm a little worried about being the weird girl who only ate five bites of her meal and didn't drink anything. I also LOVE to cook for friends. How has that changed for you? How about social drinking? Does it ever feel awkward being the only one who can't have a glass of champagne on New Year's Eve? Any insight is appreciated!

[txprincess 47]

I have been honest with my close cricle of people. But when I go out, I try not to make it the topic of conversation. I usually just order from the appetizers. I made the mistake of asking the waiter once if I could order from the children's menu, and when he started to say no, my table of family started explaining to him why I couldn't eat more. That really embarassed me, so now there are rules on who is allowed to speak when I'm ordering my food.

I'm single and only 32, but no dating lately so I have no idea how I would handle that. I would probably be honest with them too. I would hate to order a big dinner and then only eat a couple of bites. If he didn't know I was banded, he could think I was just being a snob and now he's out $25 for my dinner. So yeah...probably honesty is your best policy here.

I can physically NOT drink when I eat. If I do, it will all come back up. So I don't care what anyone says if they even notice I'm not drinking...I will NOT drink.

[Saraboo 21]

You know, I haven't had much of a problem when it comes to social settings. I'm a 26 year old female. All of my friends and family know, and are very supportive. If I go out to eat I either split a plate with someone, get the smallest appetizer, or order off the kids menu. And I love, love, love to cook. I cook for people all the time. It actually helps get my food addiction under control, to some extent. I get to experiment with new recipes and such, but I don't worry about it going to waste if I can't eat it. I will have a drink or two if I go out with friends, or too a party. I don't drink in excess, so I think it's fine.

As far as dating goes, I usually put it out there at the beginning; that way if we go out to eat, i don't have to worry about looking like a stupid person not eating, lol. I haven't had a problem yet with a date. All have been understanding, and don't really care that much. The only issue dating wise that i've come up with is the loose skin, and that was from my ex, and it wasn't really a problem. He was more curious if my skin would shift, or if I would end up having surgery. His main concern was my boobs. Lol. I was an F cup when we met.