Ashamed and Feeling Defeated

[Drasan 23]

I've been avoiding the forums because I feel ashamed. I haven't lost any weight in over 6 months.

I've been going in for fills but I haven't felt the restriction I did after surgery when I actually lost weight. Most days I still have a positive attitude, hoping the restriction will come with the next fill and then when it doesn't, I hope it will be the next one after that.

Some days, like today, I'm not doing so well with my attitude. I didn't get myself where I am because I'm a good dieter and a sensible eater. I need the band to help me and it's not. When I try to eat the way I should be eating with the band, I find myself white knuckling it then giving in with a vengeance.

I'm feeling defeated.

[mattie7632 24]

That's got to be discouraging. I don't understand why you don't have restriction. My surgeon says we should only be able to eat about 6 bites and then be full for up to 5 hours. I'm not on a regular diet yet, so I don't know personally.

I've been avoiding the forums because I feel ashamed. I haven't lost any weight in over 6 months.

I've been going in for fills but I haven't felt the restriction I did after surgery when I actually lost weight. Most days I still have a positive attitude, hoping the restriction will come with the next fill and then when it doesn't, I hope it will be the next one after that.

Some days, like today, I'm not doing so well with my attitude. I didn't get myself where I am because I'm a good dieter and a sensible eater. I need the band to help me and it's not. When I try to eat the way I should be eating with the band, I find myself white knuckling it then giving in with a vengeance.

I'm feeling defeated.

[cheryl2586 3,053]

You can not eat six bites and be full for five hours that is so not right. You should be able to eat 4 oz and not be hungry but the average time between meals should be about 4 hours 5 at the most. Are you excersising. The band is not going to do it alone you know. You have to excersise and my friend had three fills before she lost one ounce. I have been at a stand still for almost six months Im not discouraged. Isnt the lap band a diet? Yes dont you hit a plateu with every single diet? Yes. You cant let this thing control you. You have to control it. Get up tomorrow and start over fresh with the same diet you had post op for a few days then add full liquids then go to solids. Its all trial and error you can not let this thing take over your life you have to take control over it. Chin up and you will do it.

[bianabelle 1]

If I were you, I would ask my Dr. to do leak test. No restriction for six month postop must be a serious problem unless there.is your sabotage

[Lindz629 0]

I agree with the previous post. Have a leak test done.

[ElfiePoo 109]

Define 'restriction'. What is it you're looking for? While the band does give 'physical' restriction to some people (although it appears to do that they must be overfilled to the point where they have frequent daily/meal episodes of sliming and getting stuck), it doesn't for most. Unfortunately, those of us who never have physical restriction even when we're overfilled, often feel like failures. I was actually scheduled for surgery for a vertical sleeve and it was only there that I learned about ghrelin and then knew the right questions to ask my own surgeon.

The band works by putting pressure on the vagus nerves which then tells the stomach to stop producing ghrelin, the hunger hormone. Some people get this with just the pressure of the band. Most need fills, which will vary by individual. We will still get normal hunger about 4-5 hours after a meal *assuming* we actually ate a meal. It's just not reasonable to think you can go 4-5 hours on 6 bites of food. You should be able to eat 3 oz of Protein and 1/2 cup of vegies and *maybe* 1/4 cup of starches at a meal and stay full for 4-5 hours.

Pay attention to your band after eating. If you really do get hungry between meals, first take a look at what you're eating. If you're eating a reasonable meal and still hungry, it's probably time for a fill. If you aren't hungry, then it's going to be up to you to *choose* not to eat out of habit.

.

[hokiemama 13]

I've been avoiding the forums because I feel ashamed. I haven't lost any weight in over 6 months.

I've been going in for fills but I haven't felt the restriction I did after surgery when I actually lost weight. Most days I still have a positive attitude, hoping the restriction will come with the next fill and then when it doesn't, I hope it will be the next one after that.

Some days, like today, I'm not doing so well with my attitude. I didn't get myself where I am because I'm a good dieter and a sensible eater. I need the band to help me and it's not. When I try to eat the way I should be eating with the band, I find myself white knuckling it then giving in with a vengeance.

I'm feeling defeated.

Drasan: GREAT JOB at being brave and posting even though you are feeling ashamed. You took a step in the right direction by asking for support and advice. You have not given up or you wouldn't be in the forum. You CAN do this! As everyone identified, the band is a tool to help. It won't make your food choices for you. It won't "make" you exercise. It's there to help. I am newly banded in November and I still have the daily struggle of wanting to eat junk. I WANT to eat fast food like everyday. I'm physically not even very hungry. It's my habit and my pleasure to eat yummy stuff. It's much more a mental/emotional need than physical. If you are eating high Protein and not drinking any Fluid for an hour after your meal and you are PHYSICALLY hungry, then you may still need more fills. But you have to do an HONEST test on yourself and make sure it's physical hunger and not just the WANT to taste or chew or continue old habits. That is my hardest thing. We are all "bad dieters" which is why we became overweight and had the surgery. But the lapband is not an automatic fix. There are things you can to do make it work wonders for you...but there are plenty of things you can do to make it do absolutely nothing for you. The reality is...it's not the band deciding whether to help you or ignore you...it's YOU deciding to let the band help you or choosing to ignore the band that is there to help. Don't give up. You CAN do this. You deserve to be happy and healthy. Love yourself and treat yourself right. Good luck!

[honk 780]

I am four and a half months out. I've had 5 fills and am not at 9.4 CC's. I think I am now starting to get restriction and think I will probably need a very small fill next time to be in the right spot. Knock on wood I have never had a PB incident. To the poster whose doctor told them they should be full on five bites; WHAT! My doctor says 3 oz of Protein + veggies. You would have to take some seriously big bites to do that in 5 bites!

[bulldog3 0]

We will be here for you! Don't let yourself get frustrated. I'm a newbie, but everyday is still a struggle, especially if I don't see results. I feel your pain. Recommit everyday. We are all struggling and we can do it together.

I think feeling "full" isn't the right promise of the band, it sounds like it is more subtle and not hungry. Measure, eat and the then get away from the food and keep busy. Maybe that will help.You don't want to stretch out your upper pouch by eating too much out of frustration. You've been through too much to go back now.

All My Love!

[Carmen188 1]

It's tough for all of us, don't give up, have you kept the weight off? or are you gaining it back. i've gained 7 lbs from my initial weight loss that i had right after surgery and it's because of Cookies and candy during the holidays i'm struggling now to get back to 3 meals no snacking. I feel your frustration, I knew the band wouldn't be a miracle but i was hoping it would allow me to be like thinner people and eat some of the things i always deprived myself of before the band. funny i deprived myself and still never lost any weight, anyways the thing that keeps me hopeful is that I can at least keep the weight off not gain all of it back and be back where i was, i know i can't eat as much as i used to so that's something! hang in there don't give up!

[Drasan 23]

Wow! I stopped looking at the forums after I posted. I expected that nobody would post to my thread. I was THAT down! Thank you to everyone for your posts and your encouraging words! This really is a great forum. I think one reason I was so down on myself is because I was ridiculously out of control over the holidays.

Ok, so I took my big girl pill (a metaphor not real drugs) and recommitted .. again!

I want to address some of your comments. Thanks again for them btw.

- My surgeon pulls all the Fluid out before every fill to make sure there is not a leak, so I know I'm good there. I'm just under 6 cc's in a 10 cc band.

- I know what restriction feels like, I had great restriction following surgery for nearly 3 months without PBing or other issues and I experienced wonderful weight loss. I want to get that feeling back and I'm not there yet. Today, I am hopeful, I believe I will get that same feeling of restriction again. I have an appointment with my surgeon tomorrow.

- I have kept all the weight off that I've lost. That's something to be happy about.

Now I have a lot of POSITIVE things to report. I lost sight of some of these when I was having my pity party.

- I have been taken off medication for joint pain.

- I have been taken off medication for asthma.

-I have been taken off medication for high cholesterol.

- I had another sleep study test done last week. NO more sleep apnea!! AND I've been taken off the Cpap machine. NO more Cpap machine! This is huge! HUGE!

- My surgeon referred me to a new nutritionist whom I've seen twice now. I'm really connecting with her and I'm finding my visits to be very helpful.

So .. maybe the weight loss has slowed to a stop, but my health is improving.

I actually think when I weigh in tomorrow, I will show a weight loss.

Thank you again everybody for helping me to get my head back on straight!

[mattie7632 24]

I'm that poster about the five bites, but actually he said 6 bites, LOL!!! I wouldn't know about that as I'm still able to eat more!!!

I am four and a half months out. I've had 5 fills and am not at 9.4 CC's. I think I am now starting to get restriction and think I will probably need a very small fill next time to be in the right spot. Knock on wood I have never had a PB incident. To the poster whose doctor told them they should be full on five bites; WHAT! My doctor says 3 oz of Protein + veggies. You would have to take some seriously big bites to do that in 5 bites!