Libido?!

[Hopes of a Dream! 1]

So I have a personal question so I understand if no one wants to answer but here it is anyways…

My libido has decreased to the point where I have no sexual desires anymore (not so good for my husband!) I hoping after my banding (YAY Jan 10^th) and I start losing weight my libido will come back!? Is this worth hoping for or do you think it’s something else (yes I love my husband and I’m very attracted to him… lol it’s nothing like that!) Please help if anyone has experienced this!! Thanks and I’m sorry for such an intimate question!

[Sun Rae 7]

I had experienced the same thing prior to surgery. Once I started losing some weight (probably around 30 lbs), I was a completely different person in the bedroom and I feel sure that it will just keep improving. I had actually talked to my primary care physician about this and even he told me that if I would just get some of the weight off, "things" would improve. I've lost a total of 62 lbs and I feel so much better - in and out of the bedroom. Hang in there!

[mandyb 3]

I have to agree with you Sun Rae, I am down 35 lbs and wow...what a difference! I lost interest too in sex b/c i was overweight and really ashamed of myself. I have been with my husband 6 years and I have always been a big girl (even when we met..) but just kept getting bigger and was not happy with myself! But now I am feeling so good about my choice of WLS and how I am looking...things are getting hot and heavy again!

[JessicaA 1]

Im so glad to see this question. I have been married for 9 yrs. I love my husband. However, I feel the same way, no sex drive at all. I however am having pain with it. So I am hoping with the weight loss and some pain meds for endometriosis that over time it will get better. With my weight loss my endometriosis will get better also.

I am getting banded on the 11th. Good luck to you. I am sure your hubby is like mine. Loves you no matter what.

[happygirl65 5]

Definitely. A few years ago I lost 40 pounds and it made a HUGE difference in the bedroom...weight came back, lebido slaked off too. I think the mental aspect of feeling GOOD about yourself is the key. You start losing, he starts noticing, suddenly you can't keep your hands off each other.

[luv2bly 0]

I have a question that's along the same lines. I am hoping that by getting the lapband surgery, I will feel more attractive to my husband (who has no complaints but I just FEEL unsexy). My question is... after you have the lapband surgery done, do you or your partner feel the port while you are intimate? I think that after I lose weight, I will be self concious about the port. Can't you feel it?

[Shelley64 26]

I almost didn't read this post but I did. I'm in the same boat....just no interest in sex whatsoever. I feel bad about it because I'm married to a great guy and I love him very much. I won't share with him right away that things may improve in the bedroom....ha ha. I'm so anxious to feel and look better. It's silly but I'm looking forward to buying cute underwear more than I am regular clothes. I'm sick of beige and white granny panties! I can't wait to shop at Victoria Secret.

My surgery is 1/11/11

bye for now

[Taninivver 0]

Being overweight also effects your hormones that can cause you to not be interested in sex not to mention moving is exhausting. Once the weight comes off (even just 30 and 40 pounds) you feel more sexy.

You can only feel my port if you are specifically feeling around for it. It just blends in with my muscles.

[Dream on child 1]

I have to agree with all these comments about loss of libido. I think it's a pretty stark sign that our bodies just aren't working the way they are meant to with the excess weight. I know that when I take off the weight, my hormones will eventually balance out and this time in my life will just be a faint memory. It's a big wake-up call not to want sex. Thanks for bringing up this important topic.

[BlairE 1]

I am so glad "hope" started this post...you asked what many of us have on our minds as well.... I can't wait to feel desirable again and to start enjoying the bedroom scene...lol. Not only is it hormones but self confidence has a major part. How can you enjoy anything when you are trying to hide your body .... I have been married going on 23 yrs and we have always had a good relationship but the extra weight has def had an effect....

[Glenn911 0]

I think I'm the first "guy" to comment here. I honestly thought I was a freak and feel so bad for my wife. I haven't had a sex drive for years. She keeps asking (gently) and I always find a reason to say no. I always used the excuse that I felt to fat and as soon as the weight comes off things will change. I'm happy to say, I'm booked to be banded on January 19 in Toronto. Big step - then little steps - right?

Anyway, I just wanted to provided a male perspective and thank the original poster for the topic.

Wish me luck.

[FLORIDAYS 3,040]

I think that after I lose weight, I will be self concious about the port. Can't you feel it?

I am still new to this whole process but so far I can feel it.... but my hubby said he cant.