SHOCKED at how fast my motivation disappeared!

[hokiemama 13]

Well, I was SO motivated in preparing for this surgery. I read all of the booklets, did my research, and I was READY! I could not wait to get banded and I "knew" I was going to be very strict and do exactly as my surgeon instructed. Now, LESS THAN 2 months post-op, I am not doing as well as I should. I did fine on Thanksgiving and Christmas due to being on liquids or soft/mushy after my first fill. But as soon as I could start on regular foods, I'm "slipping up". Yesterday, I measured and did well all day. I got my Water in AND exercised. But around 9:00 last night, I had a "mini binge". I ate a Little Debbie cake AND some chocolate dipped pretzels. I knew I would feel horrible afterwards, but did it anyways. I said I'd do better tomorrow. Well, that's today. I had 1/2 cup of cottage cheese for Breakfast, 1/2 cup of chili with Greek yogurt for lunch, exercised.....then ate a 4 oz. bag of COMBOS!! What is up with that???????? I beat myself up terribly and the guilt is awful, but in those weak moments....I do it anyway. I am very glad that I had the sugery and I know I'll meet my goal 'someday". I just don't understand how I could feel so ready and motivated and lose that motivation so quickly. I thought I'd make it at least 3-4 months before I started "cheating". My surgical group only meets once per month for support group and I don't think I need psychotherapy. This forum is very helpful and I'm wondering if any of you lost your motivation so quickly and how did you get it back? I see people saying you have to have control and do the work. Well, lack of control of my eating is how I became obese! I know it isn't "easy" but I truly thought it would be a little easier than without the band. I know I have only had one fill also, and I do get full quickly with much less food than before...I'm just mad at myself! for breaking the rules so quickly.

[sandi2004 2]

Well, I was SO motivated in preparing for this surgery. I read all of the booklets, did my research, and I was READY! I could not wait to get banded and I "knew" I was going to be very strict and do exactly as my surgeon instructed. Now, LESS THAN 2 months post-op, I am not doing as well as I should. I did fine on Thanksgiving and Christmas due to being on liquids or soft/mushy after my first fill. But as soon as I could start on regular foods, I'm "slipping up". Yesterday, I measured and did well all day. I got my Water in AND exercised. But around 9:00 last night, I had a "mini binge". I ate a Little Debbie cake AND some chocolate dipped pretzels. I knew I would feel horrible afterwards, but did it anyways. I said I'd do better tomorrow. Well, that's today. I had 1/2 cup of cottage cheese for breakfast, 1/2 cup of chili with Greek yogurt for lunch, exercised.....then ate a 4 oz. bag of COMBOS!! What is up with that???????? I beat myself up terribly and the guilt is awful, but in those weak moments....I do it anyway. I am very glad that I had the sugery and I know I'll meet my goal 'someday". I just don't understand how I could feel so ready and motivated and lose that motivation so quickly. I thought I'd make it at least 3-4 months before I started "cheating". My surgical group only meets once per month for support group and I don't think I need psychotherapy. This forum is very helpful and I'm wondering if any of you lost your motivation so quickly and how did you get it back? I see people saying you have to have control and do the work. Well, lack of control of my eating is how I became obese! I know it isn't "easy" but I truly thought it would be a little easier than without the band. I know I have only had one fill also, and I do get full quickly with much less food than before...I'm just mad at myself! for breaking the rules so quickly.

OK so first of all, quit beating yourself up! Be gentle! You are learning a new way of life. My question is - where did you get the "junk food" you "binged" on? If it's in your house I have a suggestion - get rid of it! If you are going to the store and buying it that becomes a bit more problematical - can you set up a jar at home with something you want really badly (may size_____ jeans) and every time you want junk food drop the cost of the junk food into the jar so, not only will you have th emoney to buy what you want, but you will be supporting your efforts to get themin the size you want- and PLEASE, don't make it a huge size difference- make it achieveable - say even one size down- or a massage, or flowers, or a haircut and style......this will help you retrain your brain. The other thing you may want to look at is before surgery would youhave stoped at a 4 ounce bag of Combos? would it have been 2 or 3 times that? I'm not giving you "permission" to eat the 4 ounce bag, just pointing out that your "binges" may very well be less than before surgery so acknowledge that and the whole thing suddenly can become a little more manageable for you. What do you think? Any of this sound useful? Also, you may want to listen to our teleseminar - it's a free call. Go toThe 10 lessons of successful lap band patients and register. Good luck. You can do it because you are asking all of the right questions. Remember, it's a new way of life and you need to teach yourself new habits - try some warm, flavored herbal tea when you "have to have " something, or a walk around th eblock. Substituting bad habits with new, good ones also may help. What sounds like it could work for you?

[HeatherinCA 10]

Aww don't beat yourself up. Hell, if this was easy we would be skinny already. Yes, if you have any junk food in the house get rid of it, or if your family eats it, make them hide it where you can't access it. Remember you are changing your LIFE, it's not a quick fix or a "diet" this is how you need to be for the rest of your life. It will take a while to get used to it. I'm used to eating food all the time for no reason just because I wanted it. I would always look for some tasty food to buy. Now I have to stop myself and listen to my body. I'm NOT hungry, so I'm NOT eating right now.

Also maybe prepare some Snacks that are healthy so if you have to grab something you won't grab junk. I would of grabbed a fudgical instead of the cake.. and maybe plain pretzels or some cottage cheese or Peanut Butter instead of the Combos.

[Dave_NW 92]

Sorry, but I'm going to be a bit tougher than the posters above.

What the HELL are you thinking??? Junk food? Really?? And not once, but at least THREE times? Come on! You said in your post, "I thought I'd make it at least 3-4 months before I started "cheating"." So you're pre-planning that you'll cheat? Honestly? That kind of mindset is dooming you for failure before you even start. Stop it! You know banding is a process, it is not a magic bulet. If you allow yourself to set yourself up to cheat, you will have a much harder time being successful. Get your head back in the game, and get back on track!

Now, having said all that, let me offer this: If you're going to eat something you know you shouldn't have, make yourself work for it. Force yourself to exercise in advance for the calories it'll take to burn it off - and then "reward" yourself with the item - if you still want it. Plan the calories/fat of the item into your daily nutrition, so it isn't "cheating." If it's incorporated, you don't have to feel bad about eating it. But if you eat it, you need to earn it first.

Wishing you nothing but success, and a smooth, continued weight loss.

Dave

[hokiemama 13]

Sandi: Thank you very much for those ideas. Yes, they are great ideas! I am making changes and need to make more. The junk food isn't usually in my house....because I will eat it! It was left over from Christmas and I avoided it as long as I could. I almost threw it away and should have, but I ate it instead. The combos were a concious purchase at the store because I really wanted them. That's the only reason. I wasn't really hungry and they weren't even that good. And yes, it would have been a much larger binge before being banded. I know it's a learning experience and I hope I have learned a little more today. I will check out the conference you referred to and I appreciate that.

Heather: preparation is definately the key. I didn't bring a snack because my doctor says no snacking. So when I felt like I "had" to have a snack today, I bought combos. Maybe if I had a healthy and satisfying snack on hand, I would have made a better choice. I will plan better tomorrow. Thanks again!!!

[hokiemama 13]

Thanks for the feedback Dave. But I should clarify that I didn't "plan" to cheat...ever! That is part of my frustration. I was so motivated before the surgery and honestly thought that I would be very strict and follow everything correctly. Today, being disappointed in myself, I wrote that I thought I'd make it 3-4 months before cheating. That was me saying "geez, I didn't even make it 2 months". That wasn't to say I thought that I would cheat before or even right after surgery. I honestly thought I was going to be some Lapband Superstar, but I obviously am not.....

[Blaze21 5]

Thanks for the feedback Dave. But I should clarify that I didn't "plan" to cheat...ever! That is part of my frustration. I was so motivated before the surgery and honestly thought that I would be very strict and follow everything correctly. Today, being disappointed in myself, I wrote that I thought I'd make it 3-4 months before cheating. That was me saying "geez, I didn't even make it 2 months". That wasn't to say I thought that I would cheat before or even right after surgery. I honestly thought I was going to be some Lapband Superstar, but I obviously am not.....

Becoming a 'lapband superstar' doesn't happen in a few months. It's a journey and it takes time. We are all 'lapband superstars' because we took the first step into this journey. Don't beat yourself up. Brush your shoulders off and start again.

[Kalipso2 25]

don't be so hard on yourself. you should award yourself a "treat" once a day. that way you won't binge by holding yourself back. its okay to eat a couple chocolate covered pretzels... just don't go overboard!

of course, maybe because i'm NOT so strict on myself that i'm losing weight slowly BUT i'm almost at my goal weight without EVER gaining a pound of it back!

it would be silly to think that you'll never "slip". what matters is that you realize your mistake and next time maybe you'll think twice!

[Dave_NW 92]

I should clarify that I was playing "good cop, bad cop" about what you said.

I want you to succeed. Heck, I want everyone to succeed. And I agree with the others, don't beat yourself up too badly about it. But I do think you should stop presenting yourself with opportunities to defeat your eating plan.

As for your doctor saying no Snacks, I think if you PLAN a small "filler" meal in between larger meals, it isn't snacking. It's a planned meal. Included in your daily nutrition plan, it isn't a snack at all. And I think perhaps your doctor may have more accurately meant, "no grazing." That's where the real trouble comes in.

Weight loss is a mathematics equation. If calories expended exceed calories taken in, you WILL lose weight, Guaranteed. The rest is just in the details.

Good luck!

Dave

[honk 780]

We all have triggers and foods that call to us. Today my family would be called working class poor but when I was a kid we were just poor. Throwing away perfectly good food was a sin. If I buy something, I end up not liking if it will keep until I see my mother I don't throw it away. There are things since being banded that I have thrown away because I was out of control like honeynut crunchy Peter Pan Peanut Butter. If it's in the trash I won't take it out.

I am going to chastise you for the Combo's purchase. Did you eat them right away or save them for a later time? If you were in the store and just could not go a minute longer with out eating; than choose a lesser evil. Even many convenience stores have apples and banannas. Or crackers (a personal demon) that would not have had the fat value.

For Christmas my sister and niece made home made chocolate bars. I had a piece of one at her house. The two they gave me in my stocking I sent to my mothers for a party we're having next week. I figure counting her's we'll have four bars (larger than Snickers) that we can cut up.

One thing I've discovered is that I need to plan for hunger incidents away from home. Premier RTD chocolate Protein shakes are good for that; 11 oz 160 cal, 30 g Protein.

I very much believe in the rule that if you eat correctly 80-90% of the time then you can have the occational treat. There are things however that I can't keep in my house because I just can't stop at a couple bites (Ever notice we don't tell an alcoholic to just have one beer. We know they can't do that.)

Sorry to be long winded but you need to either throw everything away tonight or plan that it is going to work with someone tomorrow so it is'nt around.

[HeatherinCA 10]

If you went to 7-11 you can buy cottage cheese, or a hard boiled egg, or a cheese stick... don't have to buy junk food I know it's tempting but they have these things!

[missjoany 0]

I love everyone's advice. I was doing great myself, then the holiday at work pot lucks started. I didn't go overboard, but it does tempt your taste buds to keep on eating. I had one piece of pizza at work. Sure I wanted more, but I resisted. And that was VERY difficult. I wanted to join in with everyone else, but I realize I can't. I have a friend at work who lost 34 pounds. When I passed her at 39 pounds her attitude changed. Now she goes out to fast food, etc, maybe she has given up. But she gave me candy for Christmas which I thought was inappropriate. I think she is trying to sabotage me. I had lots of cheese gifts for the postman, veterinary, etc. I have alot extra. I am taking them to work tomorrow, because if I have them in the house, yup, I might just eat them. I always carry either cottage cheese or yogurt with me everywhere, in case I get hungry. I take an extra Protein Drink to work every day. So far I have not needed it, but it is there just in case. I know I could not have the chocolate bar, that would set me off! I have been drinking french vanilla tea and caramel vanilla tea, both kinda dampen the choco monster in me...

[hokiemama 13]

Thanks to all of you for the response. I am feeling much more motivated and positive today. I know what I did wrong and I'm correcting it. I brough a healthy snack in to work today to have "just in case". I know I have to take responsibility for my actions and make more changes. If I don't...the scale will show it. I'm 8 lbs. away from being in the 100's for the first time in 6 + years! I CAN do this and I will! You are ALL an inspiration! We can all do it and will support each other along the way.