What's on my mind...

[peprmentpati 8]

I got my 4^th fill on 12/2. Prior to that I was stuck between the 3-5 pound range for about a month. I started to get that feeling that maybe this would be where my weight loss would end. Well, I decided to get that fill and I’m so freaking glad that I did. Not only did the encouragement from my fill provider, but the residual effects have been excellent! Basically, I just started dropping weight – like I did when I started my pre-op diet. I was eating mostly Protein (protein first!), feeling satisfied, and loving the weight melting off. I went from 228 to 210.8 (-17.2) in less than 3 weeks – so awesome!

Here’s my problem…classes ended on Saturday 12/18 – they had me so stressed! I started back at the gym on Monday and have gone 2 times since then. I made some homemade Tomato Soup which I’ve been eating for a couple of days. My weight stayed at 210.8 for a day or so, went to 211, back to 210.8, and now 212.8. The fluctuating between a few ounces to a pound doesn’t bother me, but the 2 pound gain has me beating myself up all day long.

I know that I didn’t consume 2 pounds worth of food, for sure! I know my body changes and adjusts without my permission (lol).

Why the hell do I have to feel like crap just because my weight mysteriously goes in the other direction?!?!? Maybe I was too greedy with the weight and secretly wanted it to keep falling off because I’m so close to the end (less than 30 to go)?

I just wanted to get my thoughts out of my head…thinking about nixing the scale, but maybe I just need to find a way to accept what numbers I’m given and practice loving myself and my progress even more.

Sorry for the cry baby session, I feel a little selfish, scared, and confused. Thanks to who ever reads this and understands…

Rebecca

[Kalipso2 25]

i think when a person is SO close to their goal weight every little pound (+ or -) means a lot because we've worked so hard to get to where we are now that gaining 2 pounds feels like 20 emotional pounds. i get that. i've been there and i have those days too!

for me, my doctor told me at my 2 year anniversary (which was my last paid for appointment with him) that i was a "success" because i lost 60% of my weight. i asked him if he thought i'd ever get to 100% of my weight off and he told me "probably not" because i have a medium size body frame. well, that pissed me off royally!

since that visit in april 2010, i've lost an additional 20 pounds... not alot if you figure its 20 pounds in 7 months which comes out to be 2.5 pounds a month but i'm okay with that. i don't care if it takes me 5 years to get to my goal... i WILL be in the "normal" BMI range!!

keep up the good work... you'll get there!

[Phranp 46]

Hi Rebecca!

Happy Holidays!

I think you said it best with :

I just wanted to get my thoughts out of my head…thinking about nixing the scale, but maybe I just need to find a way to accept what numbers I’m given and practice loving myself and my progress even more.

Whatever you decide to do, just make sure it uplifts you. If the scale makes you crazy and doesn't contribute to you loving yourself ... maybe you should stay off of it for a while. You are doing a WONDERFUL job. I hear the last pounds are the hardest to get off, so keep doing the right things, take a deep breath and let your body do it's thing!

YAY REBECCA!

Happy Holidays to all!

~Fran

[peprmentpati 8]

Thanks for your input ladies! Merry Christmas as well! Thanks so much for taking the time to comment, it means a lot to me! I will be working on acceptance within myself - it's to think that this may be the end, but I also know that I feel amazing compared to me before. Why can't I be satisfied? Not sure, but I'm going to keep searching...

Thanks again, and best of luck to all of us!

God Bless,

Rebecca

Hi Rebecca!

Happy Holidays!

I think you said it best with :

I just wanted to get my thoughts out of my head…thinking about nixing the scale, but maybe I just need to find a way to accept what numbers I'm given and practice loving myself and my progress even more.

Whatever you decide to do, just make sure it uplifts you. If the scale makes you crazy and doesn't contribute to you loving yourself ... maybe you should stay off of it for a while. You are doing a WONDERFUL job. I hear the last pounds are the hardest to get off, so keep doing the right things, take a deep breath and let your body do it's thing!

YAY REBECCA!

Happy Holidays to all!

~Fran

[CheckYes 46]

Rebecca,

For heavens sake - give yourself a break!! You've done so amazingly well. Be gentle on yourself! Celebrate your wonderful success to date and give it some time. I'm two weeks post op today and ditched my scale. It was the first thing I would think of when I woke up and I didn't want to continue that. Maybe consider ditching it for a week or two?