Holiday Blues?

[futurelookinghealthy 0]

I too understand all of your feelings. 3 years ago, 2 days before Thanksgiving my dad had a heart attack and was transported to the hospital. It's such a long story but he did get over the heart attack but developed a staff infection. After 5 weeks of fighting so hard for his life he did go home to be with his Lord on December 23rd. I and my family was so mad because he should have went home, he got over the heart attack and was getting healthy and because they had to do a tracheotomy (sp?) he developed the infection (they say) from a piece of plastic, which in turn turned into sepsis, which is a fatal staff infection. While still grieving over my father my husband's father became very sick, he had been fighting lung cancer for several months and had to go into the hospital the following March and died just 8 days later. So now I had to grieve for my father-in-law and I was still grieving for my own daddy. I will admit, at that time I was so mad at God. I just couldn't understand how he could take 2 wonderful, loving men and leave us without. It took me quite a long time to get over it, but I know they are both in such a better place, and no longer have any of the pain they suffered down here. Then my husband had a terrible wreck on the 1st anniversary of my father's death and had to have 2 surgeries and is still in line for one more. He is doing so much better, and believe me I am just so glad and thankful that he is still alive and with me and I do thank God everyday for letting me keep my husband. So of course, like all of you, every year at this time I get so melancholy and depressed AND so afraid of what might happen this year. But I do thank God for His loving grace and I know there is a reason for all of this and hopefully one day I will find out what that is. I will keep all of you in my prayers and thoughts and ask that you do the same with me and hope that we all can have a Merry Christmas!

[starsinmyeyes 29]

I read your posts about the holidays and depression and it really sounds like you are in great pain. I am a therapist and I work with women in prison, many of whom suffer from clinical depression as well. The biggest help for my clients has been following their faith and staying strong in their spirituality, in addition to therapy and sometimes anti-depressants. Also, involvement in something that brings great returns, like helping others in some way (perhaps volunteering) . Well, I hope that you get through the holidays and I hope that you find the peace and joy in your life that you are seeking.

[Fluffy_Gurl 3]

I have come to hate the holidays. I get anxiety around large groups of people. This doesnt bode so well with large family gatherings. I also hate the fact that I have never been able to give the way I would like. This year especially, I am still not sure how I am going to do Christmas for my daughter let alone the rest of my family. I havent worked in months. The only reason I am not homeless right now is by the grace of God and the help of my grandparents. I am blessed to have a great family. I too suffer from depression. This bout has absolutely been the worst, and while I would never hurt myself I often wonder would it matter if I wasnt here. thats how low I have gotten recently. I am struggleing with the loss of my job, the loss of my grandmother, and the surgery and not losing weight after working so hard to get the surgery. There is always so much emphasis on being cheery and holiday fun blah blah blah I hate it. It is so stressful for me. Every Christmas i am sick/ill. It sdoesnt matter what I do I am always miserable. i feel so guilty for not enjoying the reason for the season and feel like God is not happy with me for that. I feel guilty that I am not giving my daughter a good Christmas. Thats my fault. She will probably hate the holidays too from her mothers bad example.

I am a grinch. I pray to the Lord that he will help me with the and help me to be strong and make it through this. I have no one else to talk to about my feelings except God. No one else would understand and they would only judge me.

I pray that you al will find some type of peace during this holiday season. God Bless