Sabotage!?!

[aprilalison 5]

I'm wondering if anyone else has had instances that feel like family sabotaging your weight loss success?

I recently just passed up my husband in weight. I was always heavier than him, but I'm 57 lbs down from banding June 29th. I don't know if that is his motivation or not, but he's been obsessed with baking cakes and Cookies the last 2 weeks. He knows I love Carrot Cake and he's made two double deckers in the last two weeks and 3 types of Cookies - sugar, sugar with drizzled honey and sugar with cream cheese frosting. I have a terrible sweet tooth and he knows it's hard for me to resist. I've not lost in the last 2 weeks - guess why. I am trying so hard to find the strength to resist that ooey gooey cream cheesy goodness but I am failing. I'm discouraged from the failure and even moreso because I just found out yesterday that while I had high hopes that my weight loss would greatly improve my damaged back (had back surgery last year) it will likely be a lifelong battle. Now I want even more to go home and have cake for dinner.

[Fluffy_Gurl 3]

I understand how you are feeling. some of my family is very supportive and ask what I can eat and what I cant. My boyfriend doesnt completely get it. he doesnt understand the will power it takes to sit there and watch everyone eat ice cream or cake or whatever and not eat any. He seriously sat and ate 8 chocolate toffee crunch bars from schwann's one night ni front of me and then gave me a little lecture about having surgery to lose weight when i asked for a bite of one of them. He has never been over weight and doesnt understand the struggle. We dont live in the same home so i imagine that your situation is so hard! I say..have a bite of cake and then walk away. Talk to him about how it makes you feel that he is baking in the house and then tell him no more! Toss out all the things he would need to do baking. Take control of your kitchen. Of course you know i say this and i know it is easier said than done, I have been having my own struggles lately and have not been losing either.

My best advice is to talk to him and tell him no more baking. Find out why he feels he has to sabatoge you. Sometimes men do things and dont even realize that they are sabatogeing you.

[ElfiePoo 109]

Everytime you reach for that piece of cake, dig up just enough willpower to put it into a bowl and immediately take it over to the sink and run Water over it. If you find yourself reaching for a second piece...do it again. It only takes a few seconds of willpower.

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[RandomRan 1]

My first week after surgery, when I was on liquids, my mother-in-law was in town and they decided that would be a good time the two of them to make a pot roast in the slow cooker ... to make the house smell yummy for 6 hours ... while I sat on the couch in pain recovering from surgery with my Protein drink and jello! While they were in the kitchen cutting and prepping, I called my sister in tears in the living room. Jon came in and saw me crying and asked what was wrong. He literally just didn't think it through. He swearers it was just a lack of understanding what I was going through, not a lack of support. He went back in the kitchen and unplugged the cooker, then brought it outside and plugged it in in the back yard. Problem solved.

Instead of saying, "you are a sabotaging prick and I won't stand for it," maybe you should start the conversation by saying, "I really need your help. I'm struggling with will power through the holidays, and wonder if you could help me get through it by not baking or keeping my weakness foods in the house ..." Men LOVE to be needed and feel like they are rescuing their ladies.

[honk 780]

It could be that he just does not see the corelation. I would tell him that he can bake all he wants but it can't stay in the house. If he wants to bake than it needs to go to work with him the next day (or to the church coffee hour, whatever).

[Cleo's Mom 257]

Who does the shopping in your house? If it's you then don't buy the ingredients for baking these items. I mean unless you're going to bake you don't need flour, sugar, butter or crisco. So, don't buy them. And like others said, tell your husband that you need his support to get healthy and that if he wants baked good to go out to a restaurant and get cake or pie. I doubt it is a lack of understanding on your husband's part - I mean he knows what you are allowed to eat and not. So, tell him you don't want him to bake anymore. And if he does, then you will know it's deliberate.

[Phranp 46]

Well, I come from a different perspective ... I'm not married, and I do almost all of the cooking in my house. Sweets have always been my nemesis -- winning virtually ever battle we ever fought, until recently. I have become a really big fan of cooking shows. In the past I truly hated cooking. After Lapband surgery and proper restriction I found that a lot of money was wasted on buying food out that I could eat only a small portion of. So I started cooking more at home. While at home I started watching cooking shows. A LOT of cooking shows, from "Chopped" to "Amazing Cakes" to "Man vs. Food" to "Paula Dean" to "The Neelys" to "Big Daddy's House" to "The Next Iron Chef" to "Top Chef" to Top Chef Just Desserts" to ... and the list goes on and on. Well, I started cooking at home more and more, now I rarely buy food out, and if I go to a restaurant with friends I order an appetizer and still I bring food home. Anyway, I got sooo in to "Top Chef Just Desserts" that I started baking. First Cookies, then giant cupcakes. When I started baking Cookies I found that I was eating them - constantly, it was terrible! I became very frustrated with my weight loss (or the lack thereof). I just couldn't resist the sweets. I would eat my normal menu all day but would come home and ruin it all by eating cookies like there was no tomorrow! So, I did some research to find out why I was craving sweets. First, I should mention that I am an atypical Type 2 diabetic - no longer on meds due to weight loss. In my research it was suggested that if I was not getting the right Vitamins and minerals I could find myself craving sweets. I had recently stopped taking my multiple Vitamins because I ran out of the kind I like and replaced it with something that I couldn't stand to take (chewable vs. liquid). Anyway, I started taking a number of supplements including chromium picolinate (it has been suggested that "chromium somehow works to increase sensitivity of insulin receptors") and now I don't crave sweets. I still bake pretty frequently, my kids and their friends eat most it, some goes to other family members homes and friends. Bottom line, I was stunned the first time I baked a batch of cookies (after starting the supplements) and didn't eat even ONE! I didn't crave it, I didn't want it, I didn't care. I also stopped the late night snacking that had been driving me crazy. I am once again losing weight. YAY! I can really tell the difference. Last night I was out late and hadn't eaten much of anything all day (just a couple of Protein shakes -- busy day), so before going to bed I munched on some tortilla chips. When the alarm went off this morning I felt awful! I thought for a minute, "what did I eat last night?", then remembered the chips. Not a good idea!

In the end, I find that if my body gets what it needs, it is less likely to crave what it shouldn't have. This may not work for everyone, but consider looking into it. Make sure you are getting what you need and perhaps when your husband bakes you will barely notice.

All the best to you on your journey.

[bayareanan 24]

My concern is that I will self-sabotage

I was on a very strict diet and worked out in a personal training group for about 6 months.At first I lost 35lbs, then I never lost any more. Looking back on it, I did a lot of sabotage to myself. Once3 I got on the roll of drinking wine and eating chocolate I didnt write any of it in my food journal and still wondered why I wasnt losing weight. I would stop for a week or two not drop any weight and go back to the self pitty party and continue these bad behaviors.

This time I have sworn to myself that EVERYTHING I eat or drink is getting written down, even the wine or chocolate if I end up having some. This time I have to be successful. I am not hungry and have been able to get in the swing of eating right because I learned that part before.

I get my second fill next week and am hoping this helps decrease some of my portion sizes.