I am not ok...I'm really not

[Fluffy_Gurl 3]

I had my surgery on October 12th. I've barely lost 20lbs total. I have had one fill. I have no restriction. i cant even tell I have a band except that I can feel my port and I am still sore. I was doing ok with eating and diet. Even exercising, until a week and a half ago. Everything kinda went downhill from there. I have been struggleing emotionally since right before my surgery when I lost my job. I have been trying to focus on finding a new job and a healthy me. Until, like I mentioned before, a week and a half ago. My grandmother died. It was pretty sudden and unexpected. She had a heart attack. I had a trip planned to go out of state to see my boyfriend for thanksgiving the next day. My family all encourage me to go ahead with my plans as they were aranging the funeral for the monday after thanksgiving. So i went. While I was visiting my boyfriend, we got into a huge fight, I over reacted and he was being a jerk. then we worked things out. i came home the day of the visitation. I was really struggleing to handle everything and was totaly overwhelmed. I smoked. I had one cigarette. I had quit for the surgery. The last few days I have been overeating, i know I have, yesterday it was to the point I was so uncomfortable I could barely move, and it scared me. I had lost five pounds while I was gone and now I have gained it all back in less than a week. I dont know what to do with myself. I have no energy. I know that my depression is possibly getting worse. The worst part is I dont know how to cope! I never thought I was an emotional eater until recently. I always used cigarettes to help with stress. So now that I dont want to do either...smoke or eat, I dont know what to do. Can someone please help me? I feel myself failing and I dont want to!!!! Please help me!

[123crod 170]

So sorry for your loss. I think everyone goes through what you are in some way or another after surgery. No they might not have lost a loved one, though some have. But that is not the point. . .for most people food is their friend,their comfortor. And after surgery we seem losted without our friend who is gone. My advice to you is to get some counseling to help you deal with all your stress, in doing so you will probably find out why you use food as a comforter. Why you choose to help keep youself overweight and why you are hurting your health by smoking again.

I would not recommend it to you if I had not gone through it myself. Went in thinking I was there for one reason but found out that, that was not my problem at all something totally different, she did not help “cure” my problem as I am not sure if it can be fixed . . . BUT she did teach me Great Coping Skills that help me everyday. I know what triggers me and then what I must do to end it as soon as I can. Everbody on this planet would benefit one way or another some sort of therapist.

If you are a Christian spend some time in prayer and studying the Bible, in bad times as well as good times we need help and guidences from our Heavenly Father. He is there for you, you ask Him to help you find someone who can help you in therapy and help you to get to what is behind making you run for food in sad times.

Your weight looks like it is on tract for just being banded in October. You are still hungry as you need more fill probably. As you get more fill you will not be physically hungry, but they do not fill your thoughts. I am 16 months out and I still struggle with emotional eating. I know to try my coping skills first . .. . 99.9%

of the time they work. If I still feel like I need to eat I call a friend or take a hot bath, or read a book. I use to get out of the house and go shopping. I do not even have to buy something just look . . . it puts me in a different frame of mind.

Since I assume you are planning on having your Band for life you need to find out now about dealing with head hunger and emotional eating or it will be a long hard journery for you, The first 8 months I was so committed and was glad I had those skills and talked out all my problems already. You are just in the beginning stage you have to forgive yourself for past emotional eating and pick youself up and move ahead to your goal. You can aways e-mail me if you want to talk. If you want to talk on the phone private message me and I will give you my number and we can talk on the phone.

One more thing find some in person support group and go you need to be around people going through what you are. Come to this site on top of that, but in person support is a must.

Cheri

[blondeej 111]

Fluffy - I am so sorry about your grandparent passing... I've been there and it's a horrible empty feeling....

I would suggest going to a doctor and getting on some anti-depressants. People had told me that before when I was having "rough times" and I was highly against it, until I finally tried it. Now, I will say - anti-depressants have never worked long term for me, but they've always helped get me out of my "slumps" - where I didn't want to do anything but eat and sleep and had no interest in life what so ever. I seriously know what you're going through and how it feels.... I know it sounds cliche but try and focus on the positive things and blessings you have in your life - it seems you have a boyfriend you care for and that cares for you - your family seems supportive and that's an awesome thing to have, too.

If you ever need someone to talk to or vent to or just know that someone KNOWS what you're going through - please don't hesitate to message me!!

[LeighaMason 19]

Maybe you might need to take a weight loss break? I only have a certain amount of mental power and when I have things that have to be dealt with that I cant postpone until a better time, I have to "put aside" some things that I want to do. Maybe you should "put aside" your band journey until your mourning period is over and you have your job straightened out. I don't mean give yourself permission to go crazy with the eating but maybe just say "OK I am going to wait to start getting fills but I am going to eat properly proportioned meals, maintain my current weight and start back when I feel better."

Remember this is a marathon, not a sprint.

[blondeej 111]

Fluffy where are you girl?? Hope all is well...check in when you can....

[elcee 3,341]

I'm sure I saw fluffy on either the sleeve or plication board and I think she was having a revision in the near future.Seems a little premature if she was in fact only banded in Oct. I could be wrong , it may be a dufferent fluffy.

[blondeej 111]

oh wow....

[Fluffy_Gurl 3]

No Revision. I know this tool can work for me if i can get to work it. I'm not blaming my struggles on the band. I know its me.

I'm still here plodding along. I got my second fill yesterday. Hope it will help. I havent had any weightloss in the last couple weeks, but no gain either. My doctors offices seems pleased with my loss so far. I talked to them yesterday about my struggles. I also went to my reg doc and got my antidepressants changed. I hope that will help. I am so sick with this nasty cold my family has been passing around since the funeral I havent really been paying much atention to anything. I did find out that I didnt get the job I was really hoping for. So the search continues.

I'm not getting very good support from my boyfriend. He's been a real jerk lately. He doesnt understand my struggle and says im depressing him and he doesnt even wanna talk to me. So now I am taking a hard look at that relationship.

I've also ordered some books that are supposed to help with behavior changes and lifestyle changes for those who have had lap band surgery.

Life is hard right now I wont lie. I am praying and looking to my faith for strength right now. And I'm doing the best I can do right now even though I feel like my life continues to fall appart aat the seams.

[blondeej 111]

hang in there girl - and CUT LOOSE from any negativity in your life! Including that boyfriend - he can either $hit or get off the pot! (pardon the phrase but it's appropriate here)... This is a HUGE life change for you and he's either ALL in or ALL out - there's no gray area here.

Are you feeling any restriction at all since your fill? What type of stuff have you been eating? We're here for ya! Stay strong!